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godessalthena

:: 2021 11 May :: 8.28am

this extreme tiredness doesn't seem to want to leave

but I'm so damn tired

Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 6 May :: 9.35am

everyone I love seems to be drowning in alcohol

and they are too drunk to admit they need to change anything

and literally every serious topic is a joke

please just stop lying to me...

Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 17 April :: 9.46pm

had a really good birthday, just feeling pretty good about life when not looking at the parts I don't like.

it's going to be hard going back to work on Monday...

Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 3 April :: 10.44am

when you realize you've become a shallow dish of the great lake you once we're

drying up like a river in california

molecule by molecule you've been dissapating into thin air

and everyone can see straight through you and none of them like what they see

vacuous space where a heart used to be, cold fingers, clammy hands, glass eyes and plastic beads for stuffing

you become one with the icy artic winds blowing over this fucked up landscape. a numbess enters you, fixing to your very core. labored breathing and far away eyes, trying to capture the warmth from you nostalgia.

just another deep emptiness of a human. wasting polluted air, generating more filth and trash. a creature so utterly lost from their home, trapped in artificial mazes of their own creation. dizzying and pointless, their minds grasping at foolish ideas of gods and cosmic flow.

when we all truly know what we come from and what we return to... endless quiet nothing. no sun, no water, no breeze or bushy trees bowing in the wind. just the end. the nothing. the nowhere. the deepest sleep.

Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 30 March :: 6.56am

so excited for birthday plans I could explode!

visit em in seattle
go to the actual ocean
staying in a fancy condo
sushi with the bestie
a whole week and change off work

oh I forgot... and getting some ink done
and the dogs are getting groomed

ahhh cannot wait

ugh so so ready for a break

1 I do | Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 23 March :: 9.02am

sometimes I worry I'm broken

cuz I can't cry anymore

1 I do | Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 25 February :: 6.32am

next month is unofficially 11 years with my employer.

11 years of misery, but I'm still here.

1 I do | Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 21 February :: 12.19pm

I'm just so BORED

Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 9 February :: 7.48am

I hate when shows are cancelled with no resolution

Who likes Jrock?


godessalthena

:: 2021 1 February :: 8.13am
:: Mood: crushed

had to quit d&d because someone was being paranoid that I was trying to get him killed and fucking tried at me for how I play the game.

if it was the first time is be like whatever, even if it was the 3rd time, but this shit has been going on at least a year and I'm fucking over it.

I'm not really used to people hating me like that for no reason. I'm not great at the game, the rules are convoluted and boring, I just wanted to role play. but I couldn't even do that without someone always talking over me.

just like in my real life. I'm so fucking boring people can't even wait until I'm done talking before they start their own story.

I'm so boring even my bf constantly ditches me.

I'm literally the most boring doormat. you just want me money and my effort, you don't want ME.

it feels like no one wants me.
rejected toy painted with lead paint
repugnant petulant

MUNDANE, MOROSE, TEDIOUS, DULL, DISAPPOINTING, CHUCKLEHEAD dumb ass bitch.

I hate every day.

Who likes Jrock?

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