rina
|
::
2005 27 January :: 11.40pm
:: Mood: in that writing mood
shoebox
i could tell by your face that it was different this time around.
i knew you'd be taking back that promise that i hid away in my shoebox full of knick knacks.
that shoebox covered with pictures and words and a lot of amazing memories. that held the little oath safe between my shell necklace and the small elephant figurine you always made fun of.
the one that said we'd go to california one day, laying on the beach for hours on end, letting the sun melt the time together.
i would walk in my thin flip flops to you, the sand whooshing over my feet as i padded through with my two ice creams.
and i would make a mess of myself eating that ice cream cone, and you would say i was silly and brush the hair from my eyes.
but i guess i knew that it would have to go.
you're always somewhere else. sometime else.
because its so hard
oh, its so hard
to be in love with a ghost.
1 whisper |
sweet words
|
|
rina
|
::
2005 22 January :: 12.01am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: run - snow patrol
such sweet symphony
so, its been a while.
i am really looking forward to doing some major art this weekend, i cant wait. and i feel like such a nerd for being excited about painting, but i guess thats just how i am.
i want to do a portrait of one of my friends. it would be like the ultimate gift.
i think so, at least.
i dont know whats going on with me this week, but ive been procrastinating out the ass.
i really hope i can be better friends with lauren and mark, they seem incredibly awesome. and heather is so hilarious, i love her.
ive noticed that ive been comparing myself with other, which is so awful, because i hate doing that.
ugh, this is such a worthless entry, but its midnight, who gives a damn?
sweet words
|
|
rina
|
::
2005 14 January :: 9.47pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: deja entendu is on repeat
i thought i was safe from your gaze
so today i felt like absolute fuck. i woke up at 2 in the morning and i felt like screaming bloody murder. instead, i snuck into my mom's bathroom and took some aleve and tried to go back to bed.
my alarm clock, my R E A L L Y obnoxious alarm clock, failed to wake me up, and my mom came in about three times.
and then i said i wasnt going to school and that i would call her when i did finally wake up. she told me to feel better. i miraculously fell asleep.
and then i woke up at 10.00 but could not move. it felt like someone was playing twister with my insides, and after an hour, i had to force myself to get up and eat breakfast before i fainted or vomited.
i vomited anyways after breakfast, wasnt that great.
and then i just layed in different parts of my house, because the thought of moving somewhere else made me want to cry, and i only did it when the place i was in became too hot.
i turned on the tv, and didnt pay much attention, but at least it was distracting.
i took more medication throughout the day and started feeling a little better around 3.30, which is when i remembered that nahs inductions were tonight.
and i did NOT want to miss that.
so i started getting ready and by 4.20, when my mom came home to take me to the highschool for the inductions, i had accomplished to put on clothes, brush my hair, and put very little make up on.
so, now i'm a member of nahs. and im happier than i should be about it. but come on. when i came up to accept my certificate, ms roeder said to ms thimler "she is a very good artist" and ms thimler says "is she?" and ms roeder replies "yes."
that made me feel good.
the gallery and reception afterwards was great.
and i saw some of james' work. that kid is amazing. ahaha, but his hair is ridiculous. he congratulated me though, as i walked into the gallery.
i managed to plaster a smile on my face, even though i felt like hurling.
i came home and wanted to pass out, but refrained, and instead talked to chrissie online.
that girl is freaking incredible. i mean, jesus, she is just awesome. i burst out laughing quite a few times during our conversation. and im already feeling much better.
so tomorrow i am going to teach her math, and then we're going to eat ice cream, and win things from friday's.
i cant wait. :)
8 whispered |
sweet words
|
|
rina
|
::
2005 13 January :: 6.45pm
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: spidey suite - danny elfman
crescendos and lulls
i really want to go to the phantom of the opera, and i think im going, too.
also, score, i am going to scotland and/or italy. definitely scotland though. i think over the summer, and we might go to italy over spring break, im so excited!
and my sister says the next time we're in sweden, we'll go drinking in london, because i'll be 18 by then!
i think i'll be a lot more different then i was last year. im not sure if its a good or a bad thing.
sweet words
|
|