tuwang
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2012 26 March :: 1.31pm
strange argument last night.
Over the smallest thing too. Not really relationship-ending by any stretch of the imagination, but strange.
Did pass that dreaded 6 month mark, which may seem like nothing to you, but means a lot to me for many reasons. So here's to that.
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hit me!
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jes
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2012 13 March :: 7.12pm
I hate feeling like you've supported people though out their life and circumstances but when you face your own, they have no thoughts other than about themselves.
hit me!
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jes
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2012 6 March :: 9.29pm
:: Mood: crushed
My heart is aching for you!
"Daddy please don't look so sad,momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don't looks so sad and momma please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!"
hit me!
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jes
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2012 26 February :: 9.29am
:: Mood: annoyed
So insensitive. Feels like salt is being shoved into my wounds.
hit me!
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jes
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2012 24 February :: 8.56am
ughhhhhh shut up!
hit me!
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jes
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2012 23 February :: 5.06pm
It was confirmed today that we lost our baby. Today is a very sad and heart breaking day for Ryan and I. We heal/deal in entirely different ways, which is hard to make sure we're both feeling like we're "coping" and supporting one another, but we're getting through it as best as we know how.
I feel very alone, even though I know I'm not. I don't want to be around people, but yet, I hate feeling alone. I just for myself, to think about and deal with everything, need some worship music, ryan and landon, and time alone.
I really wish people would stop saying, "It's for the best", THE best would have been for me to have my baby, and just because they might not of been healthy doesn't mean I wanted him/her any less, because I STILL want my baby. I know people don't know what to say, and are only trying to help, but it just makes me feel worse. Vacation and leaving the country couldn't have come at any better of a time.
hit me!
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jes
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2012 22 February :: 10.58pm
Tomorrow we find out if God decided to answer our prayers, or if it's time to start healing and move on. I'm so back and forth on how I feel. Because I just don't know what's happened. So one minute I'm sad, and pissed off at the world. Then the next, I'm hopeful, praying, even moments where all feels "normal" again, and then they quickly pass. I just feel like this is all still a bad dream, that I just can't wake up from, it feels never ending! I just don't know how this could have happened, why did this happen, how am I EVER suppose to be ok with this? How will I ever make peace with the Lord giving and taking away?? How can I face other people??
hit me!
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liz
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2012 20 February :: 10.44pm
My car is seriously pissing me off. I leave in a week for training and the minute I replace the starter the frigging alternator goes out wtf Patti I thought we were good.
hit me!
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joslyn_julia
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2012 13 February :: 3.24pm
yeah, so i love how I am a "bad person" because i don't go to work when i am sick. I mean honestly, if you don't have a job don't criticize me for taking a day off at mine just because you are pissed that I have a job and hate it, while everyone else you know calls to bitch because they can't get a job. I'm not bitching and whose business is it aside from me and my boss if I don't go to work.
Get real.
hit me!
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tuwang
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2012 8 January :: 11.56pm
Things are good. I spent my birthday with the girl and a few select others... pretty much just the girl though. We did a lot of dancing with each other, both metaphorically and literally. We drank champagne. We kissed at midnight. It was nice. It was also oddly adult which kind of freaks me out.
the only thing I need is a new job. Really... that's it. I like where I live and my new room mates and everything. Just the job...
I'm really coming to grips with myself and I like it.
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hit me!
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tuwang
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2012 2 January :: 11.45am
2012 bucket list:
[] get a new job
[] quit outback
[] get a real phone
[] get a new car
[] have more than 5000 in an untouchable account, preferably one with high returns
[] break that 6 month relationship mark that seems to constantly elude me
[] don't stab anyone
[] work out more
[] Go back to MI to visit
[] Get a credit card
[] Go to a wizards, capitals, and nationals game (not redskins, the suck and it's impossible to get tickets)
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tuwang
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2011 30 December :: 4.06pm
guess who got the phone interview?
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joslyn_julia
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2011 21 December :: 9.02pm
i don't really understand how people can be so malicious.
hit me!
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tuwang
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2011 21 December :: 3.10pm
I feel like I'm getting better at managing my self diagnosed bi-polar disorder. Mostly the last week has been a test of this.
I'm all moved into the new place, which is a huge weight off of my shoulders. My room mates are awesome.
next step is to go and sign up at a recruiter. Not totally sure which one or who to go to though.
hit me!
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jordanmackenzie7
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2011 16 December :: 9.19pm
Isn't it rather amazing how one bad day ruins the several good days leading up to it? I find it fascinating that one person, who treated me well for the better part of two weeks, can completely ruin the memories of the good days in one foul swoop.
Does this ever happen to you? Or am I that negative where I only focus on the bad?
2 smacked me |
hit me!
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