godessalthena
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2023 26 May :: 10.27pm
life is a rollercoaster ride that you are either too short or too tall for.
my heart is the fullest it's ever been. I finally feel optimistic for the future. I finally see there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
plans for a hummingbird garden and a fire pit are coming together. the big day is set for the end of next month. I can't believe this is real life. I feel stupid for waiting so long to reach out, but I love the whirlwind I'm wrapped up in.
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jedibumblebee
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2023 21 April :: 9.29pm
:: Music: Panic! At the disco- this is gospel
Don't try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive/ 'Cause I won't give up without a fight
This is gospel for the fallen ones
Locked away in permanent slumber
Assembling their philosophies
From pieces of broken memories
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds
But they haven't seen the best of us yet
If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is gospel for the vagabonds
Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards
Confessing their apostasies
Led away by imperfect impostors
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
Don't try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive
'Cause I won't give up without a fight
If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart
The fear of falling apart
The fear, the fear of falling apart
(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
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jedibumblebee
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2023 20 April :: 11.19pm
:: Music: Bleachers- I wanna get better
I miss the days of a life still permanent
Hey, I hear the voice of a preacher from the back room
Calling my name and I follow just to find you
I trace the faith to a broken down television and put on the weather
And I've trained myself to give up on the past 'cause
I frozen time between hearses and caskets
Lost control when i panicked at the acid test
I wanna get better
While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines
I was losing my mind 'cause the love, the love, the love, the love, the love
That I gave wasted on a nice face
In a blaze of fear I put a helmet on a helmet
Counting seconds through the night and got carried away
So now I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars
Hey, I wanna get better!
I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I go up to my room and there's girls on the ceiling
Cut out their pictures and I chase that feeling
Of an eighteen year old who didn't know what loss was
Now I'm a stranger
And I miss the days of a life still permanent
Mourn the years before I got carried away
So now I'm staring at the interstate screaming at myself
Hey, I wanna get better!
I didn't know I was lonely 'til i saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
'Cause I'm sleeping in the back of a taxi
I'm screaming from my bedroom window
Even if it's gonna kill me
Woke up this morning early before my family
From this dream where she was trying to show me
How a life can move from the darkness
She said to get better
So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet
And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away
That's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself
Hey, I wanna get better!
I didn't know I was lonely 'til i saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
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jedibumblebee
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2023 18 March :: 10.22pm
:: Music: Fall Out Boy- love from the other side
We're told we gotta get ahead, yeah No matter what it takes But there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Model house life meltdown
Still a modern dream let down
It kills me, you know I'm dying out here
What would you trade the pain for?
I'm not sure
We were a hammer to the statue of David
We were a painting you could never frame and
You were the sunshine of my lifetime
What would you trade the pain for?
This city always hangs a little bit lonely on me
Loose, like a kid playing pretend in his father's suit
I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Got to give up
Get the feeling, get the feeling
Don't fight it, fight it
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Generation sleep, I'm falling in and out of love
I'm getting that tilted feeling out here
What would you trade the pain for?
I'm not sure
Nowhere left for us to go but heaven
Summer falling through our fingers again and
You were the sunshine of my lifetime
What would you trade the pain for?
We're told we gotta get ahead, yeah
No matter what it takes
But there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race
I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Got to give up
Get the feeling, get the feeling
Don't fight it, fight it
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
I saw you in a bright clear field
Hurricane heat in my head
The kind of pain you feel to get good in the end
Good in the end
Inscribed like stone and faded by the rain
"Give up what you love"
"Give up what you love, before it does you in"
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Sending my love
Sending my love
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godessalthena
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2023 6 March :: 5.14pm
I hate these chronic feelings of being completely unimportant
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