SinfulDarkness
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2004 29 February :: 5.03pm
:: Mood: gloomy
This has been a long weekend. Friday my aunt and uncle came and we had dinner and watched some movies and I fell asleep...then saturday we went out for breakfast then went to DR at 12 and didn;t leave until 9 pm, which was okay, we had an okay time I guess...I got the CD Good Health by Pretty Girls Make Graves which is one I have wanted a long time, cuze I heard it at Hill's a long time ago and I loved the CD so I finally got it. Today sucks. My parents are just being dipshits (what else is new) and I dont feel good. Have you ever needed to throw up but you cant? Ya well I feel like that so I am gonna make myself throw up later probly, sounds fun. I feel icky I dunno why I am gonna soak later so maybe I will feel better after that.
1 handed me a rope |
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 26 February :: 7.45pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Kittie
Hey people today was a perty good day. I saw my aunt and uncle so that was really cool. They're coming over tomorrow night and theyre gonna spend the night then saturday morning my aunt is takin me and my sis shopping at Desert Ridge. I am currently trying to blow a bubble. Wednesday my sister got bubble gum and she now knows how to blow bubbles. Since I am not as talented as my 11 year old sister and can not blow bubbles, I went and stole some of her gum and am now trying to blow bubbles...sad isn't it? Haha today in gym was fun, Lexi omg you crack me up, dont worry next time I will remind you if someone is sitting near you *shakes head* lol o yes and Niki getting dirty with the volleyball, haha, good times. Tomorrow is Friday yay =D I am gonna get pretty tomorrow. Ladies dont you ever have one of those days where ya wake up and say "I am gonna look DAMN GOOD today!" Ya well I am in a damn good mood. =) Ya my mom and dad went out to some comedy club with my aunt, uncle, g-ma, and g-pa, so they wont be back until later tonight which is nice cuz I am gonna soak in the bath tub, listen to my loud music, and drink wine if there is any left...yum. Stupid bubble gum, I'll never be able to blow a bubble =( Lata.
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 25 February :: 7.34pm
:: Mood: Lonely & Very Sad
Blaming the world for all her pain,
Every ones against her in her head,
The lights went out long ago,
Left in the dark scared and dead.
She once felt love,
But now all she feels is hate,
Denying lifes course,
Forever blaming fate.
Afraid of the dark,
Left alone with insanity,
Her soul is broke,
She has no faith in humanity.
Broken heart,
A broken wing,
Forever running,
Trapped in an endless ring.
Always crying,
But no one will hear,
She misses him so much,
Now her only friend is fear.
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 20 February :: 6.20pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: My bird
Hi...I haven't written in here for awhile, not much is going...nvm thats a lie. Tomorrow my mom and dad are going out to look at houses. That'll be kinda nice cuze I'll have most of the day to myself. I have been really stressed and stuff so a day in my room alone sounds nice. A handful of people are getting on my last nerves, so I'm trying to kinda ignore it, not pay attention to them or anything. I cant wait until Summer, or even Spring Break, I hate school and almost everyone there...I just wish they would all go away or something so I wouldn't have to deal with them. I feel emtionless lately, like I dont care, which is kinda true, a few things I dont care about much anymore. I dont really like it but I guess its just a phase or something that will pass after a lil time. Ya I cant wait until Summer so I can get away from a lot of my problems...and most of my problems will be gone...
Thou Shalt Forever Suffer
by Ablaze My Sorrow
The world seems to matter no more
I'm standing by the threshold to the door
Where death is waiting on the other side
Chained to the shore awaiting the coming tide
As the shining steel caresses me flesh
I depart on a journey beyond life and death
Domain of the damned is where I will dwell
I bid you welcome - welcome to hell
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 17 February :: 8.36pm
:: Mood: worried
Someone just made an offer on our house...ya...things have been kinda hard lately but thats life, I've been really stressed...but a few of my friends and Sam have been sticken with me even though I've been kinda out of it...things will get better I just gotta hold my head high and get through it. I hope things get better soon...I hate being scared and worried.
1 handed me a rope |
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 14 February :: 2.10pm
:: Mood: pissed off
I CANT FUCKIN GO TO THE ARABIAN HORSE SHOW ALL FUCKIN BECUASE MY LIL BITCH SISTER DOESNT WANT TO!!! I CANT FUCKING RIDE ANYMORE AND THE ONE TIME A YEAR I CAN ACTUALLY GO TO A HORSE SHOW MY FUCKIN LIL SISTER DOESNT WANNA GO! I AM SO FUCKIN MAD I AM GONNA SLAUGHTER SOMEBODY!!AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 11 February :: 7.45pm
:: Mood: SUPER HORNY!!!!
Jesus I'm horny...but I am not gonna get into that...anyways, I got my hair cut its so perty =) la de da Friday we have a 1/2 and Monday no school I am so happy! The Arabian Horse show starts this weekened...I wanna go really really bad but I dunno if my parents will have any fuckin time cuze of the stupid fuckin house, ggrr, and I really wanted to go too =( it only comes once a year too...o well...My Aunt Sandy and Uncle Mike are coming on the 24th so thats gonna kick ass, I am excited. YIPPY!
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 10 February :: 6.12pm
:: Mood: Happy and Horny
GGRR PPL ARE SO FUCKIN STUPID! Ok in the eyes of people, I am a slut,whore, etc...but you know whats funny about that...I am a goddamn virgin. People are so retarted they dont know me but just becuase I have big boobs that makes me a slut or whatever. I stopped trying to look the way others wanted me too a few years ago, becuase I relaized no matter how hard you try to please others they will always find SOME reason to critisize you. This is why I dress and act the way I want to. I mean think about it, even if I wanted to please people and be how they want me to be, theres always some little thing people will find to talk about me. I dont give a FUCK. None of you should either, people are morons, they will talk all the shit about you that they want to wether it be true or false. If you retards out there think I am a slut or whore then its fine with me, I find it amusing...I've never heard or a virgin whore but hey whatever floats your boat you fucking worthless pieces of shit.
1 handed me a rope |
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 7 February :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Piano
I hate my dad....................................I was at the bookstore today with Jimmy and Sam, well actually we were at PV mall but we went into the bookstore, and I found a book I wanna get (amazing, I hate reading but I wanna read this book) Its called "The Inferno" by Dante, its basically Dante's description of hell and the different layers of it for different people who are judged by the acts of evil they have committed. Sounds like a good book =) I can read about people burning in hell and be educated at the same time, yay! Ya me and Jimmy, and Sam all went to Pv it was fun. We went to Atomic Comic too, and got faygo, I felt very special that I was drinking blessed faygo, lol. Ya and last night me and Sam went to Desert Ridge, it was boring but I was happy. I like going their and going to Barnes & Noble, thats the best store ever. I dunno why people don't like it, think about it, its like 60 degrees outside, you go into Barnes and Noble and its warm, there are big comfy chairs and a lil cafe' and books to look at (like sex books! WITH PICTURES! =D) and like a CD section where you can listen to like any CD and plus its quiet. I love it. You could stay in there a whole day. I am such a nerd but I dont care, fuck you. Sam bought me the new Korn CD "Take a Look in the Mirror" , I have been wanting that Cd and I got it now, yay! I have like no Cds its very sad...heres a list of some of the Cds I currently want...
CD LIST
1. Smile Empty Soul - Smile Empty Soul
2. Stripped - Christina Aguilera
3. Camino Palmero - The Calling
4. Left of the Middle - Natalie Imbruglia
5. Afterglow - Sarah McLachlan
6. The Long Road - Nickelback
7. Oracle - Kittie
8. Spit - Kittie
9. Good Health - Pretty Girls Make Graves
yup ok I am gonna go later.
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 1 February :: 9.00pm
:: Mood: okay
I WENT SHOPPING TODAY! hehehe. I went to Desert Ridge and got some makeup at Ulta...I got foundation shit, liquid eyeliner, mascara, pretty lip gloss stuff, black nail polish, and some razors lol and then I got a black spagetti stap shirt and a denim mini skirt =) very sexy lol. This Friday I'm going to get my hair done I am so happy I haven't gotten a hair cut since fuckin August cuze I have been growing my hair out but I need a cut really badly so I am gonna get it done. Bekah is coming back to school this Friday, I guess she never got expelled? I am gonna give her a big hug and then punch her or something for being so stupid. meep meep. Uh...what else...I want a ciggerette aka ciggie, I like the word ciggie better...my finger hurts I dunno why, owie. Thats all for now so heres some pretty lyrics! The songs are somewhat disturbing (especially the 2nd one) but I'm a sick bitch so get over it.
Betrayed
by Ashes (no its not by me its the name of the band)
Go ahead and cry you have done yours
Don't bother to come back here anymore
Do it, Crawl up and die
We are here, to wave you goodbye
See the Light of God
Now it will be destroyed
Hear the songs of Angels
It will disappear forever
Feel the lust of love
The lust has now vanished
Can you feel the trust
As you are betrayed
The destruction of the human race
The earth is just a memory
Nothing left here at all
What is this, this is Armageddon
See the light of god
Now it will be destroyed
Hear the songs of angels
It will disappear forever
Feel the lust of love
The lust has now vanished
Can you feel the trust
As you are betrayed
May the Wounds Bleed Forever
by Embalmer
Amputated anatomy skeletal remains, breaking off the bones, dissecting of the brain
Shredding with a bullet entering your skull, body opens up, corpses start to fall
Human jigsaw bleeding find the missing link, open with my shot, brains splatter pink
As you bleed I take off this, take off that, pieces and your parts
Chop off this, and chop off that, amputate the heart
Bloody killing always sick from the fucking start
She watches as I move slowly, sick stare as I cut her cunt wide
She screams as she bleeds my knife cuts in her foul stench fills the air
The deeper the wounds the harder they are to heal
Cutting into your veins stopping the blood flow decapitate the head
Make the pain go slow lobotomized tranquilized drilling for the brains
Scattered dissected bloody offerings, a basic face removal lesson for the day
Killing every way decapitate and slay
Chop off this gouge out that, eyes lashing out of sockets
Rip off this split open that put into meat pockets
Knivings stabbings and human crucifixions
We who are slime like maggots, who crawl through this corpse of an earth
Back out on the streets stalking you again
Through you have escaped me, you'll always bleed within
1 handed me a rope |
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 30 January :: 8.49pm
:: Mood: melancholy
I have a headache...I tried to go to sleep for a lil while but I have to much on my mind so I decided to get online and write in here. I guess I have a headache cuze I was crying a lot today...my friend Bekah took some pills and drank some whiskey yesterday at school during lunch with some chicks and...she ended up going into shock after throwing up a few times and then she had to go to the hospital...her drunk level thingie (sorry I dunno whats its called? alcohol consumption level? I dunno) was a point 12. She got expelled from school. Thats so retarted a monkey would know if you mix a large dosage of pills with alcohol that your in deep doo doo. Shes my third friend to go to the hospital for pill over-dosage in the past 2 months. It hurts me so much to see my friends, the people I care about, do stuff like this to hurt themselves, I mean don't they know how bad it hurts the people who care for them? Its selfish if you think about it...I dunno it just really hurts me I guess and after seeing things like OD and cutting repeat over and over with my friends, it gets to me after awhile I guess I dunno I will get over it, I guess I will keep trying to help them and be a good friend. This weekend is gonna suck, I have to stay home and clean all Saturday and Sunday cuze were getting ready to put our house back up for sale now that the holidays are over, o joy, can't you tell how excited I am...ya I am working on a new profile its so neat, I hate my BuddyProfile so I found a new one...its kicks ass...if you ppl out there are fed up with lame SubProfile or BuddyProfile go to www.mybuddyinfo.com, once I'm done with mine I will put a link to it in here. Ok well I am gonna work on some stuff, later people.
2 handed me a rope |
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 25 January :: 4.15pm
:: Mood: FURIOUS
:: Music: Metal
I am so fuckin mad I wanna shoot someone I am so mad I just wasted my only 2 days I dont have school at a fuckin retreat (thing for church where the youth group is obligated to go to a hotel for 2 days with bitches from hell where they ramble on about god) and I had the worse time I am not even going to attempt getting into detail it was hell lets just leave it at that. I hate when people push religion on me or anything...in fact I FUCKIN HATE when ANYONE tells ME what to do, especially telling me what to believe and how to live MY life. I dont even know if I believe in god anymore or maybe its that I dont believe in my religion, what if I dont want to be Catholic I am almost 15 and they are telling me to believe in the catholic religion cuze...infact...they dont even give me reasons to believe in the Catholic religion. I think its a load of bullshit...first of all, abortion is not aloud in the Catholic faith...there was no abortion in 20 A.D (and btw I am pro abortion I believe its something that should be freely aloud)....they also have other shit about marriage and having children...they took all that original shit and the church twisted and shaped it to model how they want it to be. It pisses me off and besides that the people at the retreat were pissing me off, wether they were middle age women who kept telling me what to do and how to do it or preppy bitches or faget guys, in fact I punched 2 fags in the stomach fuckin morons. I just got home from that thing so I am not in the best mood at all. Ok I am gonna go and cool down later.
1 handed me a rope |
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 22 January :: 6.53pm
:: Mood: amused
Hello my fellow comrades! Jesus my mouth hurts like a motha fuckin bitch! I just got back from the ortho and they did a bunch of stuff to my mouth so theres lots of pressure on my teeth...I am in pain =( It was pretty funny today in in gym we had this horrible woman for a substitute and if she didn't u do anything for like one second she threatend to write your names up and all this shit so me and Alexis and Niki finally got ahold of a volleyball and the whole time we were trying to hit the woman cuze she was standing like 5 feet away from us, we hit her purse (hopefully she had something like a phone that we might have crushed in it) and and then we finally hit her it was so funny and to top it all off I hit this preppy lil bitch who I hate in the head so it was oodles of fun. On a lighter note, Sam is feeling better and was back today so I was happy. IT FUCKIN RAINED TODAY! I was so happy I was playing in the street at 6:30 this morning at the bus stop it was flippin awsome! I love the rain =) My daddy left today for a buisness trip to Cali so I dont have to see him till late Sunday afternoon woohu! Wow I had a good day yay for me. GGGRRRR I have a fuckin retreat this weekened Saturday at 9am-Sunday 1pm gggrr I dont want to go but I am obligated to so I am not very excited...at least I have some friends going so I guess thats about the only good thing, I hate these things it where all these teens go to a place and adults drone on about god...not my fave thing to spend most of my weekened doing...i yi yi. Oh oh! I almost forgot my FAVE AUNT AND UNCLE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKIN WORLD IS COMING TO VISIT FOR A WHOLE WEEK! YAY! They are coming down February 24-March 1, I are so excited =D
1 handed me a rope |
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 19 January :: 1.51pm
:: Mood: lazy
I'm bored...bored bored bored! I am craving pineapple...why I do not know, and I also want to go to Subway. Ya I want a sub and pineapple. I want to go to Desert Ridge but I need money. Desert Ridge is the best place to eat cuze their are so many places and shit and I also wanna go shopping. I need clothes and some new CDs. I also need a hair cut...ggrr. I want to die my hair black really bad. Jezze I have nothing to talk about I am just rambling. Later.
1 handed me a rope |
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SinfulDarkness
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2004 16 January :: 6.53pm
:: Mood: cheerful
I GOT MY PUPPY! YAY! =D Shes taking a nap in her kennel shes so cute...my mom and dad are out of the house for their anniversary so its me some DVDs and champgane? Cant spell you get the idea. So these are my goals for the night...
1. Attempt to get Drunk (dunno if it will work)
2. Watch Girl, Interrupted (SUCH A GOOD MOVIE!)
3. Eat a shit load of junk food
What a lovely night =)
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