upchuck
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2005 22 September :: 9.44pm
:: Music: "If 6 was 9" - Jimi Hendrix
What is this, like the 6th time today
I've really got to stop this. I really do.
I was thinking a lot about tonight. I don't what it is about those night classes at Grand Valley that get you going. Well, especially in MAK. There's a special quality over there.
Professor Aragon was so completely right that I haven't seemed like myself in his class. I feel really guilty because I have not done the readings. So that is one of my goals for this weekend.
Another one of my goals, for at least tomorrow is to encourage Denise. She's had a pretty rough go of it for the past year and I see it as my role to help her. Now, I just need to make sure that I don't get sucked into it myself and get dragged down if the ship starts going down. That wouldn't be good for anyone. Like Nita said, I am an asset to the company. I don't see myself that way, but they do. I have no desire for them to start viewing me like a liability.
Another goal for tomorrow is to clean my room. It's bad. I need to clean it. It should be easy since there won't be anyone home tomorrow night. I also have to get up early enough tomorrow to run some errands before I go to work.
And then my goal for Saturday is just to enjoy myself. It's going to be interesting, but it should be fun. Josh's parties are always fun. Good times with good people.
gimmie a ring
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upchuck
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2005 22 September :: 5.24pm
She described her mood as giddy. That's good.
I feel I no longer have the need to trouble myself with deep, soul-searching questions like I did in the past.
Talking last night made me realize that my approach to life has taken a very different track in the last year. I'm not sure what has caused that, and I'm not sure many people would agree with my assessment. But I feel as if I approach things as being more laid back about life. Such as, if something happens that I want to happen, great, it happened, but if it doesn't, then no big loss. I guess that's part of growing up. It's like if I get a good grade, great, but if I didn't, well, I'm not blaming the professor anymore because I really don't care. And that could be where I'm getting it from. I don't care if I passed the test. I never have. I never understood people with test anxiety. Either you know it or you don't. If I learned something from it then good for me. If I didn't, it's my fault and I just wasted a great opportunity.
On a side note. All though I haven't been single all that long, this not being single is still going to take an adjustment. Meaning I shouldn't probably talk about all the cute girls that I meet or anything like that anymore. Note: I didn't really do that before and I'm just joking.
I know I said I'd talk to you somehow tonight. I'm not sure how I'm going to accomplish that beyond this right here. But perhaps later.
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gimmie a ring
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upchuck
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2005 22 September :: 3.13pm
So, three entries in like three hours. I thought I didn't have a lot to say.
So, Professor Aragon asked me if I was okay today. Well, I guess he can see that his class isn't going to way I hoped. Actually, it has been one of the biggest disappointments of my semester so far. I mean, my Russian Thought class totally sucked, but I kind of expected that. I just told him that I had been sick for the last week and that was why it seemed like something wasn't right. In reality, the class just isn't doing for me what I hoped it would. I guess when I had him before there was a tenuous balance. I really enjoyed the class and felt like I had mastery of the material. This year I don't feel that way. In fact I feel I know less about it than I should, which isn't a good thing for me. But alas, I'll stop complaining and get ready to go to my favorite class so far.
Oh, and I've felt terribly complacent because I hadn't been keeping up on my reading, but after reading for four hours last night, I felt a lot better. Honestly, I thought I was never going to get done. BUt I had to because I had someplace I had to go. It's really amazing how time flies when you are with someone you enjoy spending time with.
gimmie a ring
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upchuck
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2005 22 September :: 2.29pm
You know, the good thing about today is that I only had one thing to write for class. Because I seem to be very, very, very comma happy. And, in addition, I also seem to be very apostrophe happy as well. I'm using a ton of contractions, which I don't usually do. Instead I prefer to actually write the words out, but I'm not doing that today, for some reason.
gimmie a ring
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upchuck
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2005 22 September :: 12.54pm
I really would like to update. Something good. Something solid. But the words escape me right now.
BTW, I am no longer lonely. If you catch my drift. Which you probably won't. Because you all have sick minds.
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gimmie a ring
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