Kandy

Kandy

:: 2006 24 June :: 3.20pm
:: Mood: hung over
:: Music: bar noices

last night
Well things were fun at Chris's. Everyone had a good time. Granted some people are retarded but oh well. Fuck it. I give up. I'm just not fat enough right Mindy! lol. I really dont fucking care anymore what anyone thinks. Esspecially last night man. I was a bitch. But in my mind, I think I had every right to be. Oh well. What's done is done and it will never happen again. I was stupid and I should have known better. But a little fucking agknowledgment would have made me a little bit happier. Not much, but some. Oh well. I'm going to marry Aj anyways. lol. The love of my life that will never make me work or pay for boose because I'm pretty. lol. I love that kid, I'm going to miss him while he's gone.

Smashly came for a little while yestereday but then she pussied out. oh well...*shrugs* It would have been ten times more awesome with her there though.

I decided that my brother is the only one allowed to know bits and peices about my "party hardy" lifestyle I've got going on. Because my loud mouth sister made the mistake of letting my mother find out about my after prom party experiance. I made it rated pg though for my mothers sensitive ears though. I swear sometimes, I think I just might be able to get away with murder with these people. Unless I killed Neta. Because they like her more than anyone else. whatever...

Welp, that's my life in a nut shell. party last night was fun, party last weekend was fun. except for when I found a few details out about it last night that I didn't know about. That kinda pissed me off. oh well. I'm sure next weekend will be just as fun though, whatever I may decide to do.

Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 24 June :: 4.29am

*things I hate*
I hate my apartment.
I hate the white walls.
I hate living on the second floor.
I hate having to pay to do my laundry.
I hate doing laundry.
I hate my landlord.
I hate that the dishwashers are so loud I can hear all of them in the building.
I hate that the washer and dryer are the same distance from my bedroom at my moms to the bathroom in her house.
I hate that I can't get a kitten, because of my landlord, and my boyfriend is allergic.
I hate that I'm insecure, paranoid and have to sleep alone at night.
I hate that I have crappy hair that is brittle, thin and gets greasy really easily.
I hate that I have to shave my legs everyday in order for them to be soft.
I hate that I get jealous.
I hate change.
I hate that after wearing my glasses for awhile, for like a day it feels like I still have them on, so I am constantly touching my face like im pushing them up when really there is nothing there and then I end up looking stupid.
I hate feeling stupid.
I hate that my car is still broke.
I hate that most my friends won't come see me, I have to go see them.
I hate that hurt my boyfriend.
I hate that I'm allergic to nickel.
I hate that my mother is a fucking psycho.
I hate that gas is so expensive.
I hate stupid people.
I hate people in general.
I hate people who think looks are everything.
I hate people who act better than others just to try and make themselves feel like something.
I hate Jim.
I hate alcoholics.
I hate people who drink and drive.
I hate child abusers/molesters/pediphiles, etc..
I hate drugs dealers, ho's, whores etc..
I hate snow/winter/cold and anything associated with that time of year.
I hate thanksgiving.
I hate that there isn't a cure for cancer.
I hate that no matter what, bad things always happen to good people.
I hate the fact that I never got to say good-bye to my grandma.
I hate that I didn't get to see her that often, and when I had the chance I turned it down.
I hate judgemental people.
I hate anyone by the name of Courtney.
I hate cheaters, and yes, that includes myself.
I hate rich people.
I hate being a girl.
I hate it when people who want kids more than anything end up not being able to have them, while the people who don't want kids, are able to.

That is my list so far. Perhaps there will be a part 2, maybe even a part 3. But for now, I'm done.

Tell me...

chelthesmell

:: 2006 23 June :: 7.43pm

well im at chris' house, sitting on sexy aj's lap. and yeah...that's about it

Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 23 June :: 4.56pm

He's never said "I love you".
Hasn't even hinted towards those words.
I keep waiting to hear them.
And because I haven't heard them yet, Im becoming insecure.
I've hurt him so many times, yet we're still together.
Could his way of saying that he loves me, be that he'll stay with me, no matter what?

6 No way... | Tell me...

eddy	:: 2006 23 June :: 1.59pm God..... ....I hate this place and it's stupidity. 14 No way... \| Tell me...

upchuck

:: 2006 23 June :: 11.05am

So, I'm engaged.

5 No way... | Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 22 June :: 11.45pm

Well so far today, I got my lip split open when Mike and I were wrestling. Took a knee to the face. Took it like a man too. Then we went and looked at vehicles. He claims he's getting a mustang.. So we'll see how far that actually goes. Was asked who Brad was and why he left me a message on MSN that said "Goodnight DEAR". Still have yet to explain that whole story. Mike now thinks that I'm going to leave him for Brad. And I thought I was insecure.

Yeah, thats about all. My lip hurts like a bitch though. It's cut good. Bled for atleast 20 minutes. Time to go watch a movie or the style channel or the CSI espisode I missed, if it's on..

So I got to the root of his unhappiness and sense of insecurity. He went through my phone and read a text message I had sent to Jay that said "I don't like feeling like a mom".

Which is true, I don't. I feel like I have a lot of growing up to do yet, and shouldn't be feeling like a mom. I'm trying to force myself into thinking I don't want kids, because I don't want to turn out like my mom, and I would do anything to be with Mike for the rest of my life, and he doesn't want anymore kids. So he's apologizing for being a burden and making me feel like a mom and whatever other bullshit there is. But really, he's not a burden to me. He's not the one that makes me feel like a mom. It's that I clean all the time, and I have my own place. My apartment seems to get messy like really fast, when its only the two of us, and all we pretty much do is sleep. Hopefully in the morning I can get him to talk to me, and we can talk this out. Things have been going so wonderful lately too. And of course, I have to be the one to screw things up. I love him more than anything.

1 No way... | Tell me...

iron-cipher

:: 2006 22 June :: 12.14pm

Jessa I have something important to talk to you about / offer you we need to talk. How can i get ahold of you? Sign on AIM or call me @6166483769 or something the sooner the better.

4 No way... | Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 21 June :: 11.32pm

Conclusion of the day: I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of starting over.

Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 20 June :: 11.31am

When we went to look at vehicles yesterday, Mike was off in a different part of the lot with the salesman, so I went and looked at vehicles that might interest me. I guess the salesman kept refering to me as "your fiance". I found it strange that he didn't correct him. I even asked him why he didn't and all he said was "shit happens and people get confused". How does that explain why he didn't correct him? There is no ring on my finger. There hasn't been, and there probably won't be. Aside from that, things are going wonderfully. I miss him terribly right now.

Financially, Im a complete wreck. When I think about it, I get depressed and just go to sleep.
Nextel is becoming a pain in my rear end. funny this is, i don't even have an account through nextel, and they are taking money out of my bank account without authorization. The stupid cunts cant even go in and tell me if they have taken my card information and whatnot off of the account that it is being used for, because i do not have this password that they speak highly off.. I have rights too bitches.. And I will get back all the money that they have taken out of my account. If I add it up correctly, it'll be no less than a $1000 and no more than $1200. Cock suckers. i tell ya what, all they want is your fucking money..

Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 19 June :: 1.13am

I have nothing to complain about, so this entry will be very short.
I'm very happy, and very much in love.

Tell me...

joslyn_julia

:: 2006 15 June :: 10.17am

well i updated my journal settings today. something new and different.
Rather confused about today, i was supposed to work at meijer, but now i am not supposed to work until tomorrow. i really hope tina didn't just enter in the wrong day.
other than that, ultimately just burned out with life... but in love with the snow patrol release and a certain someone from the past...

3 No way... | Tell me...

george

:: 2006 15 June :: 2.04am

ShiT I should sleep now.............................................yep

Tell me...

george

:: 2006 15 June :: 2.02am

uh huh, I think WoW could quite possibly take over my summer.......Well this is going to be a great Summer, hope I can like ya know stay in touch with like people ya know?

Tell me...

chelthesmell

:: 2006 14 June :: 10.56pm

I think I'll be a stripper when I grow up...
I'm at Mindy's. My internet doesnt fucking work at my house. I have no fucking idea why it doesnt either. It's really starting to bug me but oh well. Not like I've been home much anyways...

Things have been awesome. Working and partying pretty much seem to be the only things on my agenda lately. lol. Went to the barn on saturday, went to some crazy party last night with 3 people from work and like a whole fucking trailor park was there. It was insane. I had a stripper sitting on my lap. She was fucking hillarious. She told me and Mindy that we could come to her house anytime and get drunk with her. We're like fucking right! lol! and then Saturday is my birthday and we're having a party and James' barn after Mindy and I get out of work. It's going to fucking rock. I'm going to get Ashley drunk for the first time. She's going to be so shit face it's going to be hillarious. And Tasha is coming up that day so it's going to be fucking cool! We're going to have so much fun. And I dont have to be to work the next day until 4 so that's kick ass it's self. So yeah. If you're cool you'll be at the party barn saturday night with some presents for me. (When I say presents, that's code for booze)

I've noticed lately that my parents are giving up on. I'm pretty much positive that they know I drink. and I think they dont care. As long as I'm not pregnent and still in school, I suppose nothing it wrong or something. But I fill them full of stupid shit all the time. Like I told them that I was going bowling with people from work last night and then I told them that I wasn't coming home from work on saturday because Mindy, Eddy, Jessica, and Ashley we're having a little "Girls night birthday party" for me (just go with it guys). and they just blew it off. They just dont care. It's insanly disturbing me how they dont care anymore. Like I'm afraid I'm going to be at a party and then they just pop up out of no where or some shit. It's creeping me out to be quite frank with you. But...oh well. What can you do...

Fuck it...!

Welp, I shall me off. My darling Mindy and I must be awakening early in the morn tomorrow to pull some weeds for 6.50 an hour. lol! fucking right!

James Ramiro...I'll call you tomorrow or something man...lol!

26 No way... | Tell me...

Kate	:: 2006 14 June :: 10.09am Goodbye. 12 No way... \| Tell me...

joslyn_julia

:: 2006 13 June :: 3.33pm

yesterday was good stuff. today was a lot of work, and now alot of pain. tomorrow, who knows.

i wish everyday of the summer could be as great as yesterday....

*try to understand, just try to understand... try, try, try to understand he's a magic man..... mmmmm. he's got magic hands* :D

Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 13 June :: 2.22pm

Last night, I got to do something that I have never done before, that I had always been scared to try, but knew I'd love after I got the balls to do it. I rode on a motorcycle. It was terrible on my back, but I managed. And didn't complain once to the guys. Leon offered to take me for a ride, but I would only let Mike because I trust him. Mike and I rode around for like 3 hours before we even considered heading home. And we were in Wyoming. It was a cold ride home. When we were on the bike, he kept grabbing ahold of my hand and holding it, to reassure me that i was safe. Or he'd put his hand on my leg. And as soon as we got home, we both put on warm clothes, crawled in bed and cuddled to get warm. It was cute.

I didn't think that it was possible to love someone as much as I love him, and have that love grow more everyday. I can't picture my life without him. And I hope it doesn't come down to me living the rest of my life without him.

Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 11 June :: 7.16pm

The guy that stole Mike's truck has been arrested.
He had 3 other warrants. So that was a plus.
He said the truck was impounded.
And gave Mike the keys.
We still have no idea where the truck is.
My car is being hauled to get fixed tomorrow morning.
But won't be worked on until tuesday.

I wore one of his shirts to bed last night because I didnt know when he'd be home. And I went right to sleep at like 1 and didn't wake up until 1:30 today. He finally came home like an hour later, and then left to go see his daughter. Right after he left, I was right back to sleep and slept until 6:30. His scent makes me fall right to sleep. And i sleep so good too. I love it.

2 No way... | Tell me...

Kate

:: 2006 11 June :: 11.02am

Going Away
On June 14, I am leaving to work at a summer camp in Wisconsin. I'll be back August 12, and will leave again for Poland August 24. Who knows if I'll ever be back again after that. So.. I'm having a party to see people one last time.

Where: Jessica Schmidt's dad's house (the one in town)
When: Monday, June 12 (today)
When: 5:00 - ?

Old friends, new friends, I don't care. Whoever wants to come can come, just as long as I know you. No alcohol or drugs.
If you have any questions or need directions, you can call me and Jessica: 616-696-1747

18 No way... | Tell me...

joslyn_julia

:: 2006 8 June :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: Snow Patrol-Set fire to the third bar

It's funny to read through the past, i suppose that i have changed. whether for the better or worse only time will tell.
i rather miss the days that i was so sure about life. it's funny all that i have forgotten of the past, luckily i have the anecdotes typed so clearly here. it's all so strange. i feel like i am walking through a tunnel, but it's dusk all around. so strange.

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from here to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold gound
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold gound
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

And miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold gound
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

Tell me...

chelthesmell

:: 2006 8 June :: 11.52am

So I'm hanging out at Mindy's. She's showering. (surprisingly she did not invite me to shower with her today) lol! but yeah, we wanted to go to the beach today with a buttload of people but we dont think that that will work out. We might have slept in too late because I have to be to work at 4 and whatnot.

We saw the omen last night. It was good.

bye!

Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 8 June :: 1.03am

It's my birthday bitches!

6 No way... | Tell me...

eddy

:: 2006 8 June :: 12.24am
:: Mood: excited

Jimmy Kimmel

I never watch this show. It's kind of dumb. But tonight....ah yes, tonight, the absolutely wonderful H.I.M. is musical guest. And I must watch. I haven't seen them live in forever. I could have gone to that show (filmed last Friday). Had I wanted to take a trip to California, and spent a ton of money. So I'm content to just watch it at home, nice and comfy in my home =)

Tell me...

rayray

:: 2006 7 June :: 2.04am

Im at my dads house right now and I am really liking his kick ass wireless keyboard and such.. There is this HUGE bug attacking the screen and i've tried to kill it like 4 times already and ive just givin' up and taken up trying to become its friend so that it doesnt attack me while I am asleep on the couch.. if i ever get to sleep..

I really want vista on my computer now.. it's pretty.. perhaps i will snatch a copy of it and take it home with me.. if i ever get home.. haha i will.. my boyfriend is coming to get me when he gets out of work.. Unless I can find someone who loves me and is willing to come get me at 2 in the morning and take me home....

Tell me...