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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 20 September :: 12.35pm
:: Mood: i don't know
:: Music: seether

[haha] this is funny
Depressed..
You're depressed. Really you are. And you
definitely have a reason. You often space out
and stare at things blankly, even if you're
normally hyper and energetic. This is because
nothing really seems important anymore. You
might just be sad right now, or you might be
manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa
and stuff'll be ok.


How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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girlxunnoticd

:: 2003 17 September :: 11.11pm

same as i said before. deja entendu is the best cd ever.
18 days... then 21. then my life is over. goodnight...

but wait, they say spring break, i say california in the spring... panama city... american history x... pears... hahahahahaha... mt. dew and hardees... red... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

the alarm clock's going off..... this isn't happening...








.... it is.


xxinterrupted

:: 2003 17 September :: 7.34pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: incubus (mourning view cd)

good day?!
"so are you gettin kress straightened up jena?" -my science teacher asked me after class today.
[kress = jim]

haha, that made my day a considerably good one.

=)

p.s. i love you rochelle!!

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 16 September :: 8.03pm
:: Mood: i don't even know anymore.. =(
:: Music: commercials on the radio..

nothing anymore.
so yeah.. the moday and tuesday of this week was.. okay if you consider being miserable okay.. but whatever.

last night i stayed at rochelles. i did have fun. =) but i guess her step dad is bein an ass today, so rochelle, i hope you're okay.. i love you! -hugs-

jim and i are okay.. we just fight a lot.. i um, need him. because he helps me through everything. =( i wish i wasn't so dependent on him. i need him for absolutly everything. i feel so stupid. but i l o v e h i m w i t h a l l m y h e a r t and i don't ever wanna lose him.. it came to close once, never again do i want it to become that close again.. never again.

in algebra i feel dumb. i guess we're doing "Problem Solving" now- man, i try so hard, and i just don't understand it. =( i don't know what to do.. ugh. we're having a test.. umm.. [hold on, let me look in my planner..] um, yeah thursday. -sighs- i am going to fail it. whatever; if i fail, i'll most likely just fail the whole year. but i don't even know if i care anymore.

i re-did my journal.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 14 September :: 2.35pm
:: Mood: upset, depressed, worried, anti-social
:: Music: die trying - oxgyens gone

just leave me alone to die
the whole weeks been bad.. well, starting tuesday anyway. jim and i have just ben fighting non-stop all the time anymore. god, i don't even know what the fuck we're fighting over half the time, we just fight to fight.

so tuesday i had an anxiety attack, and god i've been seriously getting those more and more often.. and i don't know what to do about them because i don't want to tell anyone. i'm scared they'll take me to the doctor, and they'll want to.. i don't know, i'm just scared of them seeing my arm. i don't want to know what they'll do about it. they'd probably tell my mom or something. and thats the last thing that i need.. =/

wed. at lunch time jim and i got into this fight over something.. i guess he said that i was making fun of him, but i swear to god on my life that i didn't even mean to say anything bad. it just came out wrong i guess.. but i don't know, he wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the lunch period, and he didn't walk with me to 6th period.. i was really upset. i hate when things like that happen. god, it makes me feel like shit. 8th period i couldn't hold it in anymore. i asked to go the restroom cause i was crying.. mrs. gurdish asked if i was okay, i just nodded my head.. i think i was in there for like 5 minutes, and when i finially came back in the class room, i was still crying a little bit, and i felt everyones eyes on me. i hate that. i guess they were all waiting for me to get out the bathroom. how dumb.

the rest of the week was just bad. then came the weekend. god, i don't even want to talk about the weekend. i had the worst weekend ever. jim and i fought, and all i did all weekend was cry, and cry and think about stupid shit. i swear i wanted to just sink into my pillow and just never have to face anything anymore. i didn't want to talk or see anyone.
but i did. i had to go to my uncles family reunion with him. i didn't want to let him down. i may be a little depressed, but i wouldn't let my aunt and uncle down. kelly and i went, and everyone rode horses but me. the one who loves horses, but i didn't ride. because i'm scared not of horses.. of something else. but i don't want to talk about it.

so i'm going to go to school with a HaPpY fAce! on, and lie some more. =) yay. i'm so glad!

i hope i don't wake up in the morning.

i love you jim.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 10 September :: 7.02pm
:: Mood: i feel like singing
:: Music: a bunch of different stuff.

don't test me. not this year.
i made a community.. so everyone that reads my journal, please join. it'd mean a lot to me. just click HERE

i've been listening to this radio station, and all these old songs are on that i haven't heard in a couple years.. and i'm pretty happy about that, because i like these songs. damn. i miss this kinda shit.

:sings: [this is stuck in my head from earlier today]
you’re getting closer, to pushing me
off of life’s little edge
cause i’m a loser and sooner or later
you know i’ll be dead
you’re getting closer, you’re holding
the rope and i’m taking the fall
cause i’m a loser, i'm a loser


so you can tell that school started, because no one updates anymore.. =[ which makes me sad. but i guess i'll get over it like i do everything else.

i'm not sure about school anymore. to much work. i'd rather be doing something else, like sleeping. but yeah- i have to keep my grades up. because i want to. not because anyone else wants me to. i am doing it because i want to. =] because of me. me me me.

i'm doing good in my classes so far -shudders- oh well, i'm trying harder than last year, especially in algebra, and english.. only because i really am starting to like algebra, and english will only get harder, and i better start doing good now. dumb reasons, but hey-- they work.

i guess i don't really have that much homework, yeah i have more than last year, but you always have more homework the higher grade you get in, so.. no complaining from me.

i have to say- fuckin people better stop talking to jim! you stupid bitch. talk to him again, see what i do. =] thats all.
[my friends know who the hell i'm talking about.]

don't press my buttons this year. not this year, because i'm not taking anyones shit.

i was sitting on the bus, and this one nicole girl was talking really loud, and i was like "who the fuck is talking so loud?! they need to stfu, they're getting on my nerves." to kelly, and she was like "jena, everything gets on your nerves anymore." haha, yeah she's right. i hate people. =]

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 7 September :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: 504 boys - i can tell

: i'm not sure :
yes. i am listening to rap. no i don't like much of it. but a select few i like.

so i guess yesterday jim and i fought. i was upset. i cried. nothing else new. i always cry over stupid things. but whatever. i don't care anymore.

today jim came over. and rochelle was here also. sams party was today. i guess all her friends didn't come over, because they had "plans" [assholes] but allison was here. and we made the best of it. and i did have a good time.

it started around 2, we all went outside on the back porch deck. my mom made hotdogs, and we ate chips. sam gave us all a little gift bag, which had: a bracelet, necklace, hair things, gum, a big bouncy ball, pencil, and sunglasses in it. i love it. i stole everyones bracelet, because they were so cute, and i loved them. [i didn't really steal them, everyone gave me theres.] but anyway, after we ate jim came. i don't really know what time that was.. but whatever. we all went swimming. but no one actually stayed in the pool because i really think that it was only about 50 or so degres. it was freezing. [goes at gets noodles] but then we played a little game [something to do with cotton balls, i don't really remember.] but we made that fun to. it even had me laughing, which felt good.
rochelle jim and i played some nintendo, and then we all came in my room.. rochelle went on the computer, and jim and i cuddled on my bed. =] we didn't really do anything other than that.. jim and i fell asleep for about an hour, then we woke up, took rochelle home and then jim and i chilled.
he went home around 8:00 :'(
i miss him.
he needs to come back.

i don't want to go to school tomorrow. i don't want to act all happy and soicalize. ahh. i hate it anymore. i wish school was fuckin over already.

i want to go to homecoming.. :( but i'm not.

i better go read my english story, even though i can't really get into it, because it's so stupidly written, god. they need to get better stories already.

go to woohulyrics and get an account and then add me as a friend.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 3 September :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: really upset.
:: Music: complete and utter silence.

i feel special.
d0ug1e06 (10:08:12 PM): hey jena
she ran away x (10:08:15 PM): hi
d0ug1e06 (10:08:17 PM): u looked nice today
she ran away x (10:08:24 PM): lol yeah.
d0ug1e06 (10:08:25 PM): i forgot to tell u
d0ug1e06 (10:08:30 PM): haha u did
she ran away x (10:08:34 PM): thanks, if youre being serious
she ran away x (10:09:09 PM): :-)
d0ug1e06 (10:10:10 PM): yeah i am being serious
she ran away x (10:10:57 PM): thanks.

that was just about the nicest thing anyones said to me in a long time. =] thanks david if you're reading this! you really made my day better.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 2 September :: 4.01pm

school is dumb.

"dumb people are always blissfully
unaware of how dumb they really are."

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 1 September :: 9.04pm
:: Mood: thirsty
:: Music: limp bizkit - eat you alive

[after the party]
soo everyone started getting at my house around 2:00.. and it's like BOOM everyone started drinking. man it was crazyness.

i'd say by at least 4 everyone that was there was trashed. except for me, jim, rochelle, amy, and randi. we didn't drink anything. kelly and her friend came around 4 or so? i don't really know.. i wasn't paying any attention. but anyways, a little bit later kelly and rachel left, so it was just us 5 again.. i think it was around 7 o'clock or so when we all got so freakin tired of sitting in the house, playing video games, that we went and sat out on my front porch.. oh god. then "the drunk lady" came out. (*we named her that* - but her real name is Karen) oh god, so many freakin memories from her.. we were out there for a good 45 mintes, just crackin up. man was she trashed..

the drunk lady: "EVIL EVIL EVIL DEMONS!" -swings the plastic fish around and then violenty harrasses the palm tree-

the drunk lady talking to rochelle in her ear: "6 6 6" -messes up rochelles hair- "6 6 6!!!! DEMONS!!!!!!!"

amy: "so did you get hay?"
the drunk lady: "huh? i didnt hear you"
the drunk lady: "GET THE BALLS TO SAY IT AGAIN, YOU SAID IT ONCE, DO YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO SAY IT AGAIN!? GET THE BALLS!! THE BALLS!"
-here we are falling off our chairs laughing our asses off.-
rochelle: "she said, DID YOU GET HAY"
the drunk lady: "not enough! nope let me tell ya, NOT ENOUGH!"

"GET SOME HAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN!" -the drunk lady

the drunk lady: "so are all of you single?"
randi: "no, not jena" -points to me-
me: "this is my boyfriend jim" -points to jim-
the drunk lady: "HOLD ON. so let me get this straight, she has a boyfriend and none of you girls do!? now back in MY DAY........ when i got some hay, ALL MY GIRLS GOT SOME HAY!!!!!!!" -looks at me- "why aren't you hookin this girls up with some hay?!"

"CUT THE LAWN" .. "i need some hay" -rochelle

oh my god. that was the funniest shit ever. it might sound weird when you just read it like this.. but jim, amy, randi, and rochelle know what it's about. damn.. good memories.

later that night we took a walk.. hmm. thats all i can say. =] but i did have cotton mouth really bad.

great night. man.. great night.

-x|x- jena.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 31 August :: 1.41am
:: Mood: happy cause jims here
:: Music: just talking to jim.

[a survey thingy]
Have you ever...
1. Fallen for your best friend – no
2. Made out with JUST a friend – yes.
3. Been in love – yeah, i am right now.
4. Used someone – yes
5. Been used – many times.
6. Done something you regret – of course.

Last person...
1. You touched – jim
2. You talked to - jim
3. You hugged - jim
4. You instant messaged - nick
5. You yelled at – jim
6. You laughed with – jim
7. You had a crush on – jim.
8. Who broke your heart – don't want to talk about it.

Do you...
1. Color your hair – sure do, all the time.
2. Have tattoos - i wish..
3. Piercings - bellybutton, ears
4. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both – a boyfriend, jim.
5. Floss daily – ha ha ha.. no.
6. Own a webcam – yeah, but it's amys.
7. Ever get off the damn computer – not really. unless jim and i do something
8. Sprechen sie deutsche – i have to think about that one.. haha.
9. Habla espanol – no.

Have u/do u have...
1. Considered a life of crime – fuck yeah.
2. Considered being a hooker – yeah, 9th grade summer.. ahh i remember that.
3. Considered being a pimp – yeah right.
4. Split personalities - sometimes.
5. Panic – too much.
6. Anxiety - yes.. especially when i have to do something i don't want to do.
7. Depressed – 99.9% of the time, but don't tell anyone.
8. Suicidal – most of the time, but again, i don't talk about it.
9. Obsessed with hate - yes.. definitly.
10. If you could be anywhere, where would you be – dead.
11. What are you listening to – weezer
12. Can you do anything freakish with your body – no.
13. Chicken or fish – fish.
14. Do you have a favorite animal – no.

Current…
1. Clothes – black shirt, pink stripped shorts.
2. Mood – happy cause jims here, and sorta tired.
3. Taste – pizza and pop in my mouth.
4. Hair – black and in a ponytail
5. Annoyance – no one and nothing.
6. Smell – pizza.
7. Thing I ought to be doing – laying on the bed with jim ;)
8. Desktop Picture – a blinki that says "i kill myself to get back at you"
9. Favorite Group – i have a bunch.. can't just name one.
10. Book – nothing right now. though i should be reading something.
11. Worry – babies. lol
12. Crush – jim.<33

Favorite...
1. Drink – orange juice
2. Color(s) – black and green.
3. Shoes – i don't know again.
4. Candy – i don't know again.
5. TV Show – don't really watch tv.
6. Movie – moulin rouge
7. Dance – uh no.

Are you...
1. Understanding – i try..
2. Open-minded - definitly.
3. Insecure - every day of my life.
4. Interesting – whatever you think.
5. Hungry – all the time, but i try not to eat.
6. Friendly – most of the time, although i can be a total bitch.
7. Smart – not at all, if anything i'm seriously stupid.
8. Moody – very much.
9. Childish - yes
10. Independent – no.
11. Hard working – when i want to be.
12. Organized – sometimes.
13. Healthy – not really.
14. Emotionally Stable – haha no.
15. Shy – only around new people.
16. Difficult - yes
17. Attractive – fuck no.
18. Bored Easily - yes
19. Thirsty - yes.
20. Responsible – most of the time.
21. Sad – definitly.
22. Happy – only with jim.
23. Trusting – to much.
24. Talkative – with people that i know.
25. Unique – not really..
26. Needy – no.

Who do you want to...
1. Kill – yes.. not telling who. =]
2. Slap – no one
3. Look like – no one, anyone who looked like me would kill themselves.
4. Be like – i'm not sure.
5. Talk to offline - jim, kelly

On you...
1. Name – jena
2. Nicknames – jen, P
3. Hair color – right now: black
4. Eye Color - dark brown.
5. Siblings – two little sisters, one older brother.
6. How do you describe yourself – ugly, fat, stupid.
7. What's your sign – aquarius
8. Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend – yes, jim.

On friends...
1. Best Friend(s) – amy, rochelle, kelly.
2. Friend(s) you hang out with - don't know.. no one really.
3. Friend(s) you have the most fun with - don't know
4. Friend(s) you've dreamt about – don't know
5. Friend(s) you tell secrets to – all of them.

On preferences...
1. Chocolate milk or hot chocolate – hot chocolate
2. McDonalds or Burger King – ick.. neither if possible.
3. Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend – perfect friend. friendship turns into love.
4. Sweet or sour - sour
5. Root Beer or Dr. Pepper – dr. pepper.
6. Sappy/action/comedy/horror – horror.
7. Cats or dogs – dogs
8. Ocean or Pool – i hate swimming.
9. Cooler Ranch or Nacho Cheesier – COOLER RANCH. =]
10. Mud or Jello wrestling – uh neither.
11. With or without ice-cubes – only water with ice cubes, everything else.. ew.
12. Shine or rain – rain.
13. Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring - winter, fall.
14. Vanilla or Chocolate – strawberry.
15. Snowboarding or skiing – i dislike sports.
16. Cake or cookies - cookies
17. Cereal or toast – toast.

i was bored, so i felt like doing a survey thing.. ahh yes.

-x|x- jena.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 30 August :: 1.31pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: a perfect circle - juidth

sooo, school sucks. and i went to the football game last night with kelly and jim.

kelly and i look so funny together (we were actually talking about this before we left to go.) because theres me in all black, black hair, dark brown eyes, and then theres kelly with bright white colthes on, light blonde/brownish hair and blue eyes. we just thought it was quite funny cause we are just really good friends (and cousins) but i don't care what people think anymore. and this time i actually mean that.

we got to the football game around 7:30 (cause we stopped at giant eagle, and we went to pick up jim.) we were walkin around for like 2 seconds, when aj came up and talked to us. she only stayed for a couple minutes, then she left. and we went and stood by the fence for a while. dunno, we talked to some people.. after awhile we went and sat on the hill and then jordan came to sit by us. he's pretty funny. haha we were all laughin. i don't know how long after that we went to sit by amy up by the band.. and then randi and nicole came over and talked to. we were only up there for like not even 10 minutes, and this lady came and told then they weren't allowed to talk to us.. so we left, and just messed around until the game was over. then we went back to get amy and walk her to her car. so we did. =) then we went back up with kelly and casey, and went to caseys house until our ride came.. which it never did. (kellys mom was supposed to come pick us up, but nooo.) kelly tried to call her like 50,000 times.. but i guess her mom wasn't home or something. i don't know. so we called my aunt loraine and uncle don.. and uncle don and jeff (kellys dad) came to pick us up. at like 11:20 they got there. kelly was staying over nikkies, i guess. so jim and i waited for them to come in the rain.. lmao. it was pretty fun though. we did get wet, but oh well.

all in all, it was a good night cause i got to spend it with my baby jim.


What's your usual [mood]?
i got this test off of my friend kathy.



-x|x- jena.

yesterday was 9 months for jim and i.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 27 August :: 6.27pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: eve 6 - think twice

school
let's see.. first off, here is my schedual.. i would have posted this a lot earlier, except i lost my other one.. haha

1st pd. survey of science
2nd pd. health (mon. wed. fri.) gym (tue. thur.)
3rd pd. algebra 1 (blah nasty person!)
4th pd. advanced word processing
5th pd. u.s. history
lunch b
6th pd. child development 1
7th pd. global studies
8th pd. english 10

blah, shitty schedual. i have to practicly run up and down the stairs all day.. ahh. oh well. hopefully i get to see jim a lot in the halls. i do have global studies with kelly, so it's all good. :)

school sucks, and it's only the 1st day..
god, i hate people.

179 more to go

-x|x- jena.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 26 August :: 2.42pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: jims playstaion game

soo, i guess my pictures don't show up?
-shoots them-
oh well. i guess i won't post anymore..
-sighs-
who cares.


SCHOOLS TOMORROW


just shoot me.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 25 August :: 8.14pm
:: Mood: pissed

some pictures from last night.
all i have to say is damn things saved on the playstation memory card.. damn them to hell! >:o

ashley


kelly and ashley


me


kelly


jim


thats all.

-x|x- grrr.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 25 August :: 4.38pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: jims playstaion game

_@#!*&$!
ashley (kellys friend.) and kelly came over last night. ashely was stayin over kellys house, so they came over my house and chilled for a good couple hours. we just messed around on the computer, talkin, on the fone, playin the playstation and listening to some music. i think they walked over about 12-1? i don't really remember, but they left about 4-5. or somewhere around there, i don't know. ahhh.

my mom took jim and i to centry three. i got a new purse.. like i need anymore of those. but anyways, i got a new one, and some safety pins, and some little buttons. they're cute. but we only stayed there for about 30-45 minutes, because i only had 50$. ha. thats all i had left. o.0

thats all.

school starts on the 27th.. ahhh.

random picture of the day:


-x|x- jena.

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girlxunnoticd

:: 2003 24 August :: 8.38pm

for everyone who might read this occasionally... i made a new s/n. its nothingbetter. so i will still update this one and the other one too... incase you may be bored. <3 always.


xxinterrupted

:: 2003 24 August :: 1.01am
:: Mood: confused and feeling weird
:: Music: sugarcult - pretty girl

babies?!?!
so uh, i had this dream last night about fuckin babies. i woke up all confused and stuff. haha.

my dream:
i guess i got pregnant, and my mom kicked my out of the house or whatever. soo i was still in school, and so was jim. but jim got a good job and we got a little apartment and blah blah. i guess in school everyone was talking about how jim and i were screwed for the rest of our lives cause we were havin a kid. but we didn't really see it that way. so i had the baby, and it was a little girl. we bought her clothes, and everything she needs. and all i really remember about the dream before i woke up is that we were so happy. i don't think that i was ever that happy in my whole life. =]

so all day yesterday i was thinking about babies. i'm just kinda freaked out by it though, cause the more i think about it.. the more i want to have a baby =/ . whoa i'm weird. kelly and i went shopping, and i was all lookin at the baby clothes/toys. they're all so cute. i mean yeah i know i'm not ready for a baby.. but if it ever accidently happend, i'd be happy.

so anyway, jim didn't come over again today. godddd, i am so freakin mad! i mean, okayyy please don't tell me you are going to come over, and then not be able to! (i know it's not his fault because his ride didn't come.) but still it freakin upsets me. i mean jesus, school is starting in 3 damn days. it sucks. oh well.

i went shopping for some school clothes today. haha me and kelly shoplifted. (hahaha kelly) god, it was great. lets see.. i still have to get a couple more pair of pants, a new purse, some underware/bras/socks and some odds and ends. my moms dropping jim and i off at centry three today or maybe tomorrow, so i can get the rest of my shit. ahh i can't belive school is almost here! god, it makes me feel like shit. another year is gone.

in a happier note, on the 29th- it'll be 9 months for jim and i. aww, i can't believe it's been that long.. i love him more and more each day. =D even though we fight sometimes, it's okay. I love him.

random picture of the day:


-x|x- jena

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 23 August :: 2.32am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: mudvayne - world so cold

just rambling
so um jim didn't come over yesterday.. i guess he just wanted to stay home for a night, or something. but he just didn't want to come over.. so, i couldn't give him the food i brought home for him from the resturaunt we went to yesterday.. but it's still in the fridge, so i guess if he comes out sometime today he can eat it.. if someone else doesn't first.. but my mom knows not to eat it, cause i got it for jim. and dustins not home.. so i don't really think anyone will eat it. but i don't know.

i went over kellys about 2 hours ago, and we watched a movie.. i think it was called 'the marrying man' or something? i don't really remember. but oh well. it doesn't really matter. so i got back over here a little bit ago, and i just came in, turned on my stereo and sat at my computer. in less than a second, i was crying.. [yeah, i bet you think that i'm stupid.] but i just really seriously miss jim. i don't know what came over me. i mean, yeah i do miss him when he's not here, but i usually don't cry. i just saw him yesterday.. i mean i stayed over his house. so i was with him the day before, but i don't know what came over me like i said. so i called him, and woke him up and just said hey.. i just wanted to hear his voice. god i really do love him more and more each day..

i really hope he comes over tomorrow.. i seriously miss him. =( i don't know what i'm going to do when school starts, it's going to be rough. i hope he gets his license soon.. so he can drive out to my house all the time. beacuse it's going to kill me not to see him for almost a whole week except for in school.. i doubt we'll have any classes together. ahh, i don't know what i'm going to do. it's going to suck so much.

ahh school. starts in four more days god. i'd much rather kill myself than go back to that hell hole and be around everyone again. god it makes me hate people even more. i don't know.

it seems i don't know about a lot of things. i've said "i don't know" about a zillion times. jeeze. who cares.


looks it's me.
..



"I have taken the broken shards of my heart and pounded them to dust. I place each precious piece in my hand and let the wind blow them in hopes you will catch them and make me whole."

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 22 August :: 6.37pm

nothing to do
it's pretty bad when your so bored/alone, that you have to amuse yourself with these quizes.. wheres jim when you need him? =(


Nauseating
Nauseating Love...


What kind of love are you in?
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The Lost Soul
The Lost Soul


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
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The Ballad
The Ballad, Millencolin.





Whats Your Suicide Ballad?
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The Tradgey
The Tradegy...


Whats your story?
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aaron
Aaron


::Which one of my odd friends are you?::
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emo kid
Emo Kid.


Which Subculture Are You?
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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 22 August :: 5.15pm

kennywood
well, there isn't much to talk about kennywood..

i stayed at rochelles on wed. and thursday morning kelly and i walked up to caseys and we waited until about 11:30 for jim and mack to come pick us up. the ride was okay, until we got to mcdonalds, then it was better. (oh yeah kelly. =D) we didn't go in kennywood until about 1:00.. because of um, traffic? lol. but anyway, we met up with rochelle a little later, and then rochelle and kelly went off, and i stayed with jim and mack. then i found randi, and she stayed with us. we walked around rode some rides, i saw a whole bunch of people i don't like. but then again, i saw some 'friends'. all in all, i did have fun. and i'm just so glad that jim was there.. he made the trip great.

so we left about 10:00, and kelly went her way, and i stayed at jims. rochelle rode the bus home.

i got up around 10:00 in the morning, today, and jim and i got a shower, and then we got dressed/ate. he was supposed to come with me to go school shopping, but he wanted to stay home.. i was really mad but oh well. i ended up getting my mom not to go anyways. but we did stop at this really really really good resturaunt, (i forget what it's called) but we were supposed to take jim there but oh well, he wasn't with us. it's his own fault. =( but i did miss him. soo whatever though, we went to a couple stores, then we went home. i didn't buy anything though.

i guess later tonight i'm going to pick jim up, and then my mom said she'd take us to centry three this weekend sometime. so thats okay i guess. though i really did want to go tonight. but something always has to mess my plans up. jeeze.

oh! i forgot to mention that jennifer is coming over on wendsday! =D (my brothers ex girlfriend that i very much like) soo jim will finally meet her.. because i've wanted him to but my brother and her broke up before jim and i were together. ahh i just really can't wait to see her. this is great.

but i'm bored now, so i think i'm going to just post some quizes i took.

-x|x- lonely.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 18 August :: 2.07pm
:: Mood: i don't know
:: Music: silence

could it be
just a song today.. maybe i'll write later.

i just.. don't feel so good. but jims here, so i really am happy. i missed him so much..



HASH(0x86e7444)
Masochist


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla




Well I don't know what to say
Because there's truth to what you say
I know it kills you I'm this way
There's something different everyday

Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that I'm only being me?

Not easy living in my mind
A little peace is hard to find
My every thought is undermined
By all the history inside

Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that I'm only being me?

I know I hear the words you said
Over and over again
I just can't get them through my head
There's just too many voices
Must be like living with the dead
Waiting for me to begin
To do the things that I have said
And for this I'm sorry

So there's some truth to what you say

Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that I'm only being me?

-Staind

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 16 August :: 11.37pm
:: Mood: i don't know
:: Music: semisonic - closing time

saints and sailors
Saints and Sailors
youre becoming solitude and soo loving your
apartment. its understandable. ppl suck, and
youve expected too much, now u expect nothing,
but then again you have no reason too..


what dashboard confessional song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 15 August :: 8.56am
:: Mood: sad

lets see
how many people feel like shit..?

cause i sure as hell do.

-x|x- me.

p.s. IM me on aim.. i'm bored.
she ran away x is my name.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 15 August :: 2.23am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: jim talkin in my ear


update from last entry:

i went over rochelles house with her around like 5:30, and we were just chillin and shit, then my mom called at 7, and she was like "where are you?" im like "rochelles, where else would i be?" she started like flipping out on me, because i wasn't home.. (when she told rochelle to make sure i was home by six the next day i mean, wtf? fuck you.) so i got home around like an hour or so later, and kelly came over and we were just talkin, then we went out on my back deck. (okay, now i haven't ate anything for about a day now. and i didn't eat dinner yesterday.) my mom was like "jena, do the dinner dishes" i was like WHAT!? I DIDN'T EVEN EAT HERE! omg, i was so pissed off. she said something else, and i just ignored her. then george was like "i hope your not planning on going anywhere until christmas" where the fuck do i go? that just pissed me off right there. i go about 2 places every fuckin 6 months. so fuck them. i hope i die in my room tonight. i called jim about 9:15, and i just cried with him on the fone for about a hour and a half.. i'm just about stupid. crying on the fone for a hour and a half.. jesus. i'll update what happens later today. god only knows what shits gonna go down.


The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Low
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

-x|x- =( i don't know anymore.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 14 August :: 3.42pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: silence

i had the worst day yesterday.
kelly rochelle and i went to the fair yesterday.. we were supposed to meet casey, matt and jim there. well.. this is what happened:

we were at the fair for about 20 minutes or so, and jim called and just like started kinda yelling at me. so i yelled back and i don't know what happened, i guess we sorta hung up on eachother. well after that we went down to the rides and rochelle met matt at the ferris wheel, she stayed with him, while kelly and i went on the round up. i guess rochelle didn't hear my fone ring.. and jim had called ilke 6 times. he left a message.. so i called him back. kelly and rochelle went on this other ride, i don't know the name of it. we just like yelled at eachother, and stuff.. he told me that he didn't want to come to the fair and see me, and he was really mad at me.. we got off the fone a couple minutes later, and i went to get kelly and rochelle. they just got off they're ride and asked me what jim said.. and i just started cry. like freakin balling my eyes out right in the middle of the fair. i didn't really care though, rochelle hugged me and said it was okay.. but i cried for like 5 minutes. i don't know.. i kept trying to call him back, but he didn't answer the fone.. i thought he left somewhere with some girl. (because of what he said on the message he left me on my fone.) so i was trying so hard not to start crying again. but after that i wasn't even in the mood to be at the fair, i just wanted to go home.. :( you could tell that i was upset/sad. a little bit later we found matt again, and then kelly got ahold of casey, and he came down. so i was like all alone, while everyone was with someone.. i was really getting depressed and you could tell. but i didn't care. jim called back around like 8:30-9:00 i think, and said he was sorry or whatever, but i didn't care, it didn't put me back in a good mood. casey was tryin to make me smile, but it didn't work.. i didn't even have any money, cause jim was supposed to come.. but thankfully rochelle was there, and she paid for me to get in, and kelly and her got drinks for us and stuff. and that was so nice of them. (thanks you guys, if your reading this.) jay came down and walked with us a little later, and about 9:30 him and casey left with ben and matt left to. kelly called her mom, and she didn't even come get us until like 11:00. so we just messed around, and talked and shit.

we got home, and went online. we got hungry cause we didn't eat anything at the fair, so we made some mac and cheese. and i put the pot in the sink, and put water in it. later that night after kelly roach and me were done eating, roach put the dishes in the sink, and filled them with water. well about noon today, my mom comes barging into my room and shes like "IT'S 12:00 GET UP NOW." i'm like okay? wtf? (i've been up since 11:00, because my brother had the tv up so freakin loud, it woke me up.) so i was just layed there for about 20 more minutes, and she comes back in and like is all yelling at me not to sleep my life away and she wants me in the kitchen "NOW" so i'm like "okay.." so i went out there, and she starts yelling at me for the 3 bowls that are in the sink, and the pot. shes like "WHY DIDN'T YOU SOAK THESE? THEY'RE HARD AS A ROCK" blah blah blah. i'm just like jesus christ. we did soak them. (which we really did.) so she went on and on and on and on about it. and she was like "who was here last night? wheres jim?" i was like "kelly and rochelle, jims at home." and she kept pressing the matter "why isn't jim here? where is he? didn't you see him last night?" i just said no, and walked away.. went into the bathroom and cried my eyes out again.

i didn't even do anything, and i'm gettin bitched at for everything. i mean.. jesus. i'm goin to rochelles tonight, but i have to be back tomorrow night by 6:00. so i can help her "tag things" for the yardsale this weekend. i don't know. i have to get away because i'm gonna shoot someone in the fuckin head. (not you rochelle! ha.)

i hope i die in my sleep.

-x|x- fuck this.

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girlxunnoticd

:: 2003 14 August :: 9.24am

last night i went to a friend's house. we drank... eric told me he liked me. and i thought it would have been the perfect opportunity to tell him to fuck off... but i couldn't. i just couldn't tell him, especially when we weren't sober. but i don't know what to say now. should i tell him about everything. the fact that i fell in love with someone else almost 2 years ago while i was hating him. should i tell him i don't think he's over nikki. should i tell him that i don't trust him? i suppose so. you've gotta just put it all out there. plus he's leaving tuesday... and that will be that.

bleh... worthless update.


xxinterrupted

:: 2003 13 August :: 3.32am
:: Mood: afraid
:: Music: staind - so far away

a song




-x|x- afraid.

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 10 August :: 11.30pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: me first and the gimmie gimmies - i believe i can fly

"I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes I want to kill myself for it. So there's your psychoanalysis, Doctor Freud." -Kathryn from Cruel Intentions

I didn't really do anything today.. i got up at 11, and just layed in bed until 1. so i was being lazy. i got up and got a shower, and then i called rochelle and left a message, cause no one answered.. i got online and just did nothing then kelly called around 3/4 o'clock. i got a shower then we went down to the park for kellys aunts 25th wedding anniversary.. and we got bored so we went back home and got our bikes and rode them back down to mingo.. omgosh the walk back up this big huge hill was so bad. it took us like 30 minutes to walk up it! we were all out of breath, and sweating.. eww. "bike fest 03'" ahahah kelly.
we got home and got ready to go to richardson park to see casey. so we went there, at around 8:30, and got back home around 9:15
we're gonna go watch a movie in a bit. it's called "jewles" (based on a book by danielle steel) the book was awsome so hopefully the movie is just as good. i love reading romance books. they make you sorta just forget everything around you because you just get so tied up in the characters and whats happening to them.. it just kinda makes you feel good when you get done reading them. :)

-x|x- not all here

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xxinterrupted

:: 2003 9 August :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: spunky-less
:: Music: sugarcult - pretty girl

i'm back?
so i went to bethany beach with the 'family' we can say that i was miserable. i don't like the beach.. let alone with my family for a whole week in the same freakin house.. without being able to actually go anywhere.. (as in kellys house, or up my aunts, or over amys/rochelles.) but with jim there, it was a little bit better.. i guess.

all everyone wanted to do was go the beach.. and i'm not a beach person.. it just really upset/pissed me off that if i didn't go, everyone got mad at me. especially jim, and i felt bad. :( so i went and sat there, and read a book.. thank the lord for sun block, or i'd practicly be the color of dirt right now.. :( i hate getting sun. i hate it. hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it. hate doesn't describe it enough. i would be much happier white as a ghost.. so hopefully no one would notice me. haha but who cares..

we did some things.. i don't really feel like writing a huge entry detailing every day.. that would be pretty boring. but we went to the beach, shopped, jim and i got out 'old fashined picture' taken.. we look freakin so damn cute if i do say so myself. i'm gonna upload it on my picture album, so i'll make sure i put the link back up on here so you can look at it. i love it.. other than that, we didn't really do anything. i read a lot of books, and jim and i went the pool.. went for rides on the bikes there. he went in the ocean a lot. i just sorta sat and watched him. i don't like the water. i'd rather be sitting inside doing something like watching a movie.

but no use in complaining anymore. it's not like anyone wants to actually hear about it.

i think i've lost my "spunk"..?

hmm.. it's the 9th.. :-/ :(:(:(:(:(:(!!!!

-x|x- no spunk.

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