(So Many Assume) <marquee>...So Little Know...</marquee>

:: 2005 1 June :: 6.05am

i quit.

16 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 31 May :: 10.44pm
:: Music: good charlotte - day that i die

[ my head hurts, but who cares ]
i totally love my life right now, it's great. i haven't had this much fun since.. 8th grade, when i totally didn't even like.. live here lol. i feel like a valley girl. like.. totally. okay, really though, i'm in a great mood. finally. i deserve it. with my "friend" ditching out on me everytime i attempt to be cool with her, and with ya know.. the whole j thing. which is.. bad at certain points, but pretty good otherwise. i got my phone incase of emergancies. don't ask where.. that.. came from. makes no sense.. moving on.

i'm cutting again. paper.. not myself. scrap book, son :) lol. totally won't be done by june 11th, but i don't care. i got my pictures back. dan laatz, and keegan are hot boys. keegan the most.. ask the wind.. it will tell you lol.

there.. really is only a few reasons why i mention their names so much. one, it's fun.. and it makes me think of when we did random searches on ourselves and me, liz, and keegan were picking on dan. then.. keegan cause.. he's just hot and it's fun to talk about him lol.

god good moods are great.

my head hurts though.. that's okay, i'll live.

so yeah, decision is made.. i'm not gonna even try with jill anymore. she seems to.. not like it when i do that, so i'm just gonna stop. i didn't know it was a crime to be nice to somebody when you're at their house grabbing something of your own.. but it is i guess, so i'll just keep my record clean and FUCK.. sorry, random thought. okay.. back to.. what i was saying. i'll keep my record clean of illegal actions and just not go over to your house anymore. k, greatttt. i don't believe i'm gonna go to her open house either. i might cause it's nice and i'm not a mean person, but i doubt i'll do it cause.. she don't like it when i'm nice to her i guess. k, great.

next.. i gotta call liz. so i'm done. bye.

- Jejuan

tonyp.

:: 2005 31 May :: 7.25pm

well were gona practice on friday finally. we are either gona be called
Mr. M.I.A or Kids with guns
what do you think?
i think im gona start saving up so me david and ben can start the tattoo shop, and id also like to try to go to school to be a director and a script wrighter
.....watch ill me in a factory in three weeks...not cool

:: 2005 31 May :: 7.47pm

I just talked to Lisa on the phone for 40 minutes and now I'm talking To Brittani Hudson. We just laugh at how dumb you really are. This summer is going to be so awesome just wait.

Today is the best day ever!

eyesofcrystal

:: 2005 31 May :: 3.06pm

Oh god...Im nervous....
Im waiting now for a letter from Andrea that contains all the information i want to know about our relationship...Im really scared that it isnt a good letter...gahhh......help me someone!!

jennapie

:: 2005 31 May :: 5.01pm

oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!! This cannot possibly be happening!!!! THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN!! I can't feel this way about him. I can't in a million years, this is the worst thing that I could do to you. I know it is. You're going to kill me, I'm going to kill me! This is horrible! If I would have known that us hanging out would have led to this...I don't know...I would have still hung out with you...but I wouldn't have ever done what I did. In the past or like a few weeks ago. I can't believe this! We can't hang out alone, that's for damn sure! I don't know. I can't tell anyone.

breezeyluvsu

:: 2005 31 May :: 1.14pm

Okay, amy.... YOuve got to be the coolest person ive ever known seriously.. Thursday.. Was a blast. And friday up at my cottage. Justin and kevin and josh and jimmy.... Good times.

Anyways on with my weekend. I did my first keg-stand. I was so furious with dan i decided to take up drinking again...But only for 4 days. Im done now. Actually now that i think about it im just done with dan.

I ..........went on a date............with a NICE boy!!! how fabulous is that??? whos so..nice and...meh kinda cute. Yeah ill admit im still very upset with dan but. What can i do about it right? im tired of feeling bad and finally ive got him wherei want him. Ive got him feeling like i have and the control is very nice. Well all...

Thats all i gotta say.

Love you all

*especially jenna, ashley, and amy.* your all freakin' hott okay? lol not in a lesbian way though. Nevermind.

:: 2005 31 May :: 12.22pm

[ untitled ]
last night was.. alright. well, until something happened that i'm not going to get into.. with anybody, except maybe one person but i doubt that even. but anyway, i attempted to write a letter to this.. friend.. of mine. he'd never see it, but still.. just a way to get out my words or whatever. but when i started for the.. 49th time, i realized i had nothing to say to him anymore. it's really strange, but i really don't. then i thought about what i was told from this other kid earlier in the night and.. i texted the guy i was gonna write to, apologized, and then i.. sat on my bed. thinking.

after thinking for a good 20 minutes, i started writing my essay to ucf. it's.. weird, and it's a bunch of ramblings, but i suppose there's no better way to write about myself than to just write what i want, how i want, and in any order i want, right? right. i'm not even close to done with it, but i've started it, which is good. i was reading over it, and i noticed that it pretty much said.. nothing of importance. but it was entertaining and writin how i write things. i'll send it in when i'm done.

my dad sent me a cd and 90 dollars for my birthday. that was nice of him. since may 26th, i'm $1,090 richer. it's going in my credit union savings account. maybe not the 90, but the 1,000. i already have 1,000 saved up in there, so now i'll have 2,000 and i'm going to get a second job, and save a good portion of that paycheck to get more money so i can buy a car. i can't wait to get a new car.

jill told me the diplomas are in, so i should go get mine. which i'm gonna do.. so i'll be around later.

- Jejuan

brokenmentality

:: 2005 31 May :: 10.36am

once again... another perfect weekend.

OH my gosh, yesterday me and keegan went and saw Madagascar... i dont think i've ever laughed so hard at a cartoon... it was hilarious. te he he....

my room is just full of roses... i hang all my flowers upside down.. and now i have a dozen hanging from my ceiling, 3 random roses in random places, and a vase FULL off rose buds and petals... im such a lucky girl! :)

i even CLEANED my room this weekend... WOW. it looks so good... im willing to bet i have the coolest room EVER.. pshh.. its true.

tomorrow can not come fast enough for me... it doesnt feel like the end of school... but thank god it is. i have never been more ready for the year to end. i hate that... but i cant help it... school can die. next year will be good though..... our senior year is gonna fly by.. im gonna cry when its over even though i hate it so much. when its over, its gone, and its just a memory..... and to lose all the people we've grown up with is gonna be both, a blessing... and extremely hard.

i must say though.... im ready to say goodbye to many of them. *smiles.

my birthdays saturday... it really snuck up on me this year. birthdays are overated.... you turn a year older.. thats it. i like getting new stuff and feeling special because "its your BIRTHDAY" but in all reality... who came up with this idea to celebrate the day we were born? everyone goes through it... its not like its special just for you... everybody has a birthday... mine is just one more. but ehhh... another excuse to eat cake is ok by me.

Paradox

:: 2005 31 May :: 1.20am

I'm tired.. But I can't sleep...

Maybe I'll write a song.. I wish my inspiration was awake...

See you in the morning!

tonyp.

:: 2005 30 May :: 6.27pm

i dont know what i want to be. what to go to school for, ive never had a job and im going no where.....shit im fucked. now what am i suppose to do
im suppose to be practicing with my "band " but no one is ever around
i hope we can still play at my open house
if we dont ill be pissed, but with my luck go figure....
so dont count on my band playing at my open house

5 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 30 May :: 9.11pm

I went and seen The Longest Yard tonight, it was good and Britt Hudson was there.Then I came home and my parents best friends came over and they have two boys, Spencer and Riley and then their daughter Kayleigh. She is so cute she talked to me for hours lol. It was really fun though since they never actually come to our house or we go to theirs because my parents and their parents go out to eat almost every Wednesday but they leave us kids at home. How nice of them.

My step dad took our computer to get fixed and we'll get it back this weekend so that sucks and I'm on my parents computer right now and it doesn't even have msn or aim or anything so I'm just writing in here and I'm not even allowed on it but I lied and said I had to type/print something for school. What a liar I am lol.

I think I have a crush on him

but I have to go study for my math exam and get off the computer before I get caught.

<3 aShLeY

:: 2005 30 May :: 4.07pm
:: Music: spiderman will make you gay

[ steak n shake will never be the same ]
man, i love having good nights. first i kiss josh plude, then i have another good night the night after lol.. it's just that much fun.

so last night, i get home from work and i'm like "damn.. i wanna go someplace." so i get at liz and we go to the brickhouse. which was kinda gay. i'm sure it would've been more fun if we were 21, but the special m's on our hands kind of ruined it for me. but yeah, that place was fuckin packed.. but some nice lookin guys. not the point.. so we were there for a good 5 minutes lol. then we left. unfortunately, i parked at the top of a fucking hill. these stairs we had to walk up killed. do not give a fat girl stairs, bitch'll complain the whole way! lol. so what i do? i complained.. the whole way. and almost died. which is sad. by the time i got to the top with liz, we were ready for a nap lol. but then we got in my car and drove around for about an hour.. almost dying. i ran almost ran a red light, then almost took out a dude on a bike. we got lost.. then we found ourselves again. and then we went to steak n shake.

okay, i had to be home by 2.. we got to steak n shake at like 1:45 lol. so god knows i wasn't gonna be home by two. oh well. so our waitress lady.. lol. she was funny. me and liz were just kinda.. bein stupid. and we ordered our food n stuff, and then liz didnt eat the onions and the waitress was like "you're nice, you didnt eat the onions. way to save her." i was like "save me from what?" and.. yeah. so when she left i asked liz and we busted up laughing so hard.. cause we figured she thought we were lesbians. oh man, it was funny. so yeah, after that we were like.. talking about lesbians, and i said somethin and the damn waitress was RIGHT THERE and she was like "bad timing on my part.." and walked away lol. then i couldnt help but like.. talk all lesbian with liz when she was around. she was waiting on somebody else n i was like "what?! LIZ! you're breaking up with me!?!" lol and liz was like "omg.. shut up.." lol but it was too funny.

so yeah, we didn't leave there till like 2:30. we took our precious time. then we left.. and came back to my house. watched spiderman will make you gay.. watch it.. click here. then we played clue till 6.. and i took her home.. and i came home and went to bed.

it was.. fun. :)

- Jejuan

:: 2005 30 May :: 3.54pm

i fucking hate you now and i hope you know that.

Waking up from this nightmare. Hows your life? What's it like there? Is it all that you want it to be? Does it hurt when you think about me?

I don't know why I'm even calling, I told myself I was through with falling, right now I'm running from these thoughts of you.

:: 2005 30 May :: 1.47pm

It's really hot outside. I was laying out for like two hours today and I was outside ALL day on Saturday. I'm really tan now and it's pretty awesome. I was laying outside in my front yard and Robin was like "Ashley, your hottie is home" so I look over and in the driveway is the guy that I think is so hot and he pulls in with his hummer I was like "YES!!!"

I don't even remember what I did this weekend but I went out to eat on Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night lol and this morning im like "dad did you know we went out four times in a row" and he goes "yeah im getting sick of it" but last night we went to tgi fridays with my dad, robin, my uncle chris, his g/f and my cousin Haileigh and the night before we went out to eat my dad made my cousin and I sit by ourselves at a differen't table because we are too loud and hyper so last night at tgi fridays we had to sit alone again and they were sitting next to us except they were in the bar part and we weren't so there was like a glass wall thing in between us and we were being loud so they moved farther down away from us lol and my cousin was singing really loud and dancing and my dad walked over to our table and im like "dad we are going to embarrass you" so my cousin was like "SHE BANG SHE BANG" and he wasn't even embarrassed so then he got up and started doing it even louder and everyone looked at us so my cousin and I were laughing hysterically and we ducked under the table lol and then someone called me and I had no idea that my phone was turned on as loud as it could go so it started ringing and everyone gave me this evil look and I talked on my phone the whole time I was eating for like 21 minutes and my dad told me to get off of it so I did and then someone else called and he came back and I was on it again but he thought it was with the same person and hes like "im gonna take ur phone away"

I talk on my phone way too much and yesterday like a million people kept calling me, emily called, then chloe and corbin, then Katelyn called me and then dan called me then I left my phone upstairs and I went up there and I had three missed calls. It was crazy but I'm becoming really good friends with Katelyn, shes awesome.

But other than that everything is pretty good. I'm going to the movies tonight it should be fun.

I'm really happy now. Things are fine and I'm so happy school is almost out because then I can just leave and go places and get away from this place. Hopefully when I go to Florida this summer I can stay for a few weeks. It should be fun.

But I g2g get ready.

TonyP.

:: 2005 29 May :: 10.14pm

well i got to see star wars III. it was bad ass.
i wis i could fly in ships like that, it would be soo awsome

i hope being out of school dosent mean i wont be able to see any of my friends anymore

i love erica

i cant wait tell my open house, im really excited

:: 2005 29 May :: 5.19pm

I only think of you. It's breaking my heart. I'm trying to keep it together but I'm falling apart.

:: 2005 29 May :: 12.50am
:: Music: destiny's child - survivor

[ ahh.. jordannn! lol ]
i.. kissed josh plude. lol.. i'm going to HELL lmao.
thas alright. he's leaving tuesday anyway. no biggy.. :)

me and jordan are bomb!

i wanna go back to the fuckin party man.. god damnit lol

- Jejuan

:: 2005 29 May :: 12.06am

I'm staring at your picture remembering each moment you made me laugh, I never thought it would end this way, that i'd still be missing you to this very day. I miss you being there but the thing that hurts most is you just don't care.

I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad. I can't keep something I never had.

Somehow I knew it would be this way, somehow I knew we would slowly fade.

:: 2005 28 May :: 11.00pm
:: Music: mya - my first night

[ what da prob'em iz ]
thoughts have accumulated in my skill.. and it's spittin out shit like a uzi. but.. my head is not a gun.. so i'll continue..

is it such a bad thing to be nice around somebody when.. they're around, but still dislike them? no. i'm a nice person, damnit. and i'm respectful. i'm not gonna start a fist fight at graduation with somebody that annoys me.. i will be nice.. and talk with the person, laugh, smile, be.. nice. i said that. but once you up and ditch me, after you already ditch me for your abusive boyfriend.. and leave me alone at a senior all nighter.. yea, ima get pissed.. and bitch to matt about it. cause matt is fun to bitch with. indeed he is. anyway, that was my shpeal. heh.. shpeal.

all nighter was alright. first hour was fun, then i got bored. during the karaoke.. jill ditched me and left with jacki.. so i felt alone again. then i decided to go walk around.. by myself.. like i do when i feel the urge to pull out a gun and shoot myself infront of everyone so they all feel bad. i found matt.. we talked about the bathroom.. then we found these giant.. bench/couch things. totally watched everything in the "mystery lounge" and nobody even knew we were there.. cept the stupid parents that made us go down for the video.. that we watched.. and saw me in it like.. once. twice. because i didn't exsist in kindergarden-first grade in cedar. matt was in it once cause he's alive today, but wasn't then either lol. but still. i had a lot of fun with matty. boy's an entertainer.

bus ride was alright. i had more fun sleeping though. it's really great to have picked on dan tho.. lol. ;) he's fun. and so is keegan. everyone needs to ask the windo who the hottest person is.. and it will tell you keegan. for sure. i'm ready to move on though. not.. from the keegan wind.. but from school and cedar springs. before i go.. i gotta go clubbing with dan cause.. i told him we were gonna lol. it will happen, damnit. it will.

alright, i have a lot more to say but i dont feel like it no more.. so im done. peace out homies.

- Jejuan

ps. click this and spiderman will make you.. happy ;) lol

Paradox

:: 2005 28 May :: 6.18pm
:: Music: Camron- Oh Boy

Lol @ Ryan gorter. I'm over here, he's funny. Anyways. Graduation was cool, it was slow but it was worth it because I was graduating! MUAHAH I'ma graduate. Anyways. the all nighter was cool, basketball, swimming, bowling, mechanical bull, pool, ping pong, dancing.. Yeah I had a pretty good time.

My 6 month plan to give Erika 6 roses worked out good too. :) Yesterday was amazing, I won't go into it but just know that it was one of the most romantic days I've ever had.

Today, we went to the mall and now she's at work till later, then hopefully we're going to hang out.

Anyways. thats about it for this interesting journal ay?

-K. Loye

http://inspiringtruth.cjb.net

jennapie

:: 2005 28 May :: 1.04pm
:: Mood: discontent

I know I've told you that I don't want to do that many times, but I am allowed to change my mind. I honestly don't believe that you would do anything to hurt me. I just wish that I could tell you that I don't feel the same way about anything anymore. I've changed my mind and now I think it's too late.

:: 2005 28 May :: 3.30am
:: Music: kenny chesney - young

[ mature a bit, would ya ]
back itches.. hold on..

alright..

oh.. gotta text message.. be right with ya..

okay. just so everyone knows.. j's dizzy. k great. anyway.. back to what i was gettin at. ima not dwell on things i can't change. i thought of that.. earlier. and then i got happy again. by myself.

but i can't change that.. so i'll just learn to live with it. so my new motto..

learn to not dwell on things you can't change

k good, go away now. :)

- Jejuan

:: 2005 28 May :: 3.17am

She did let me read those, just to let you know.

I figured it out.

I really should go to bed but im having a VERY important convo with Tyler. Well atleast I think it is anyways.

I think I'm going to see the house of wax tomorrow but anyways im the only one up in my house and my friends that are here are sleeping so I'm seriously going to go.

oh my friend made this for me. I didn't even ask for it but I checked my email and there it was.

okay good night.

*Ashley*

:: 2005 27 May :: 11.06pm
:: Music: kelly clarkson - you found me

[ saw this in cheryl's journal ]
Name 20 of your friends below. do i have 20 friends?

1) dan laatz
2) keegan loye
3) liz thorington
4) jacki smith
5) jill joldersma
6) tanya denslow
7) autum burnett
8) trisha wright
9) sam shaw
10) matt whetzel
11) amanda farrell
12) john ackerberg
13) j melendez
14) tj.. somethin
15) dana kwiatkowski
16) allison
17) lisa
18) wendy
19) carrie
20) riley

- Who is #8 going out with? cody.. somethin-er-other :)
- Is #9 a boy or a girl? nobody really knows.. lol. girl.
- Would #11 and #2 make a cute couple? amanda and keegan? hm.. i dont really know. i love them both, so sure :) keegan's the hottest. ask the wind.. it will tell you.
- How about #18 and #4? wendy & jacki. no..
- What grade is #17 in? she's a college freshman
- When was the last time you talked to #12? learly this morning. like.. 3 or 4.
- What is #6's favorite band? def leppard
- Does #1 have any siblings? yup.
- Would you ever date #3? lol. i'd date liz. sure.. i love me some liz. lol no i would not.
- Would you ever date #7? not if i'm with liz, DUH!
- Is #16 single? last time i checked.
- What's #15's last name? read..
- What's #5's middle name? renee
- What's #10's fantasy? lmao. matt has many..
- Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? no way.
- What school does #20 go to? fuck. i dont know. she's in jacksonville, florida.
- Tell me a random fact about #11? we have the same birthday
And #1: dan laatz is a liar ;) lol i'm kidding
And #3: liz agree's. lol
- Have you ever had a crush on #16? allison? yes. i still do.. :) lol
- Where does #9 live? in a van down by the river
- What's #4's favorite color? uhh.. good question.
- Would you makeout with #14? if i felt like dying that day, sure. lol
- Are #5 & #6 best friends? no
- Does #7 like #20? they dont know eachother
- Does #8 like #19? they dont know eachother either
- How did you meet #15? band.. i think.
- Does #10 have any pets? pussies. :) lol
- Is #12 older than you? yes he is.
- Give #13 a hug. oh man.. i can't..
- Is #17 the sexiest person alive? yes.. my god, yes. ;) lol