(So Many Assume) <marquee>...So Little Know...</marquee>

:: 2005 16 December :: 12.18pm

well, at the moment, I am stuck in Dani's Driveway, and have been since 9 this morning. Too bad I had to go to the dentist! BUT! my mom is on her way to rescue me! ahahah! darn snow anyway!

:: 2005 16 December :: 11.56am

ugh.. i can NOT believe we have a snow day today.

last night i filled out 70 fucking christmas cards for staff appreciation (student senate committe) and now what.. i give them to them AFTER christmas? not to mention i bought a whole bunch of food to put in the staff lounge... now its just sitting in my kitchen. BAH...

and i was really looking forward to drama. i made peanut butter balls last night and everything. GAH.

oh.. and i better say goodbye to saturdays. thursdays are gone. but hey "its only for 4 months" yeah the rest of my senior year.. GOOD thing it wont be focused on me. fuck that.

STUPID SNOW DAY!

6 Chances | Words Of Hope?

just_peachie

:: 2005 16 December :: 9.59am

Lately, I have been really in touch with this psychic side of me that I had no idea I possesed. Yeah, I know how corny does that sound, right? But it's kind of freaky. What with all the dreams, and where that got me, and now being able to know exactly what someone says before they do, alllllll the time now; is a bit odd. What can I say, I guess I'm just a freak! :) Oh well, could be worse.

5 Chances | Words Of Hope?

eyesofcrystal

:: 2005 15 December :: 9.08pm

Wooh! I made honor roll. Go me.

Its weird...but I've decided that I miss Andrea a lot right now.

I think Im starting to like the fact that no one reads this anymore..I might actually be able to write whatever I want for once without people giving me shit about it.

Well....Tony is in Florida right now...or at least on his way there. He's gonna be gone for my birthday :( But its totally cool cuz I know he is having fun. Or at least I hope he is. Well, I miss him. But I know us being apart a little bit at a time is gonna help us alot. SO yea..

My birthday is in 5 days. (December 20th) so Im looking forward to that alot. Saturday Im going to a birthday dinner thing and then to the Winter Snow Ball....which I have nobody to go with since Tony is gone. This is gonna be really weird. I havent gone to a formal dance alone ever. Im gonna feel like a loser!!

LOve you Tony, and I miss you.

7 Chances | Words Of Hope?

kellilynn21

:: 2005 15 December :: 3.49pm

MEGANS COMING HOME TODAY. Ug, i miss her so much. I�m so glad she�s ok. Today was horrible just thinking of her in the hospital and everything. Last night and pretty much all today; I�ve been thinking about so much. Megan and I used to be so close. We used to talk like everyday about like everything. We were pretty close for a long time, then idk what happened. We just kinda stopped calling. Today I was thinking about the first time we ever really talked on the phone; we were both scared to call each other haha. We had talked online like every day for about like 4 months before we got the courage up to call each other. That first night she called me; we talked for 3 hours lol. Idk why I remember all this but I do. Everything that we did together just like came back. I mean I knew she wasn�t gunna die or anything but still everything just came back. Its made me realize never to lose touch with people you love. I know this sounds weird and most people probably wont understand, or they�ll just be like �you guys arnt ever close anymore� but idk what I would have done if something worse would have happened. For about 3 months now me and Meg have been talking about getting together but never really do. Now I know better; I know not to take friendships for granted and I know that sooner or later; your not gunna have the chance to see whoever you want whenever you want. Its kinda sad that it took Megan to get in a car accident for me to figure all this out but at least now I know. My mom got a hold of her by 6th hour and talked to her for awhile, then called me and left me a message so I called her during 6th hour and talked to her. I was crying like a baby when i was talking to her. I�m just ug, I�m so glad she�s ok. For anyone who prayed for her, thank you a lot. <3

Just Some Random Pictures Of Me Tonight... I Dont Know How To Make Them Smaller... Sorry.

Read more..

kellilynn21

:: 2005 14 December :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: Anxious

3 DAYS
Kerri Comes Home In 3 Days... :-)

Bad News: My friend Megan got in a really bad car accident today:( Shes in the hospital... ugg:(

:: 2005 14 December :: 8.06pm

Jake Mellema has woohu!! YES!!!

:: 2005 14 December :: 7.19pm

I just want you to know, your not making this easy.

4 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 14 December :: 4.34pm

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember..
Today went better than planned. I'm really happy about the roles I got in the play and when I found out that I have huge monologue that made me even happier. I'm definitley going to be working day and night at memorzing it. I already have the first paragraph memorized. I'm definitely not going to complain about that. I'm also in "Yes" and "Cinderella". I love my lines in "Yes". I love everyones lines in that one.

I'm so glad we only have to perform tomorrow and then we are done. I'm getting sick of doing these in front of half the school when half of them are really immature and annoying.

Do you expect me to believe I'm going to let us fall apart?

6 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 14 December :: 11.14am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Where Is Your Heart~Kelly Clarkson

pretty much, I'm done. I am so glad that I only have two exams left!! Good grades for me all around! whoo! I'm pretty sure that I'm going to do the whole photography thing now. I can't wait until I get my camera. Next semester is going to be flippen awesome. Ya know what though, last night before I fell asleep, I had the strongest urge ever to go and work at the ice cream shop again! I seriously wanted to call Jenny right then and tell her that we had to go in there and do something, make some flurries or something. It really is an addiction, I mean, you hate it, getting all covered in ice cream and everything, but then 5 months later, and I can't wait to open next summer. ahah! But I really love working at Awesome Tan, so no way am I giving that up this summer either. Good thing both of my bosses are absolutely wonderful, and will let me do that without a problem, and work at the famr if I wanted to. And I could still baby-sit, but I think I'm past that. Ya know what's weird? I barely ever do this, cuz I just forget, but I read my horoscope, and it said that yesterday that I would have a meaningful conversation with someone, and I was thinking about the people that I'm really close with that I could be having this conversation with, you know, Jon, Dani, Alice, the ones that are always there for me, and then I thought, well it's prolly someone who I won't expect. And then when Jon, Hilary, Courtney, and I were eating lunch yesterday, in walks Jake Mellema, and we ended up haning out for like 5 hours or soemthing like that, and we talked a lot. So I think that was it. I don't know, I just think it's weird I guess that after such a long time, you can talk to someone like you've never missed a beat. No pun intended there Jake! ahhah! But anyways, bowling, tomorrow night.......yes.

Anyway, I have to work at 2 today, and Dani is coming home for break today, and Sarah is home.......whoo! do I hear pirates? oh, and I decided that I'm going to stop running away from guys. So I guess I can date if someone asks, but I'm not going through any trouble to make it happen either. Actually, I'm still not quite sure about the above statement. hmmmmmm.....

3 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 13 December :: 10.25pm

i just registered for my ACTs after my mom came in my room and fucking attacked me.

she walks in and says "you need to see your guidance officer or something" i turn and look at her like what the fuck.. and she starts going off about college and how its not her responsibility to line it up for me and in that same five minutes it some how spirialed to if i dont go to college i cant live here and blah blah blah.

you dont just COME into my room and tell me that i need to see a counselor and expect me not to get pissed off. i had no idea what the fuck she was talking about until she started in on her rant.

if its SO important to her then why is this the first time i've heard of it? and it was totally out of the blue.. completely random.

of COURSE im going to college.. but im going to CC... i havent been terribly worried that they wont let me in. i mean for the love of god woman...

so in retaliation i filled in all that un-needed information for like an hour and woke her up to get her credit card number. TAKE THAT! HA! laughs* whatever.

im so sick of all this "realization" stuff that its almost over. i dont care about anything except that its DONE. college will come when it comes... which i've ALWAYS been planning will be the very next year dear mother.... and life will follow shortly after.

im ready for bigger better things... away from everything here that has ever givin me limitations.

and on a second thought.... im about to go loco on the entire yearbook class. granted.. its a select few that make it miserable.. well.. not miserable because yearbook is pretty much the best thing ever.... more like irritating and stressful. FUCK YOU stupid people! YEAH..... i love my bitches. (stacy, jess and jess) well..i love alison too.. but she's to sweet to be refered to as my bitch! not that they're MY bitches.... but they know what i mean.

night dolls.

2 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 13 December :: 9.33pm

JJJAAAAKKE MELLEMA!!! I had so much fun with you today!! We will for sure have to do it again soooon, and don't worry, I WILL call you!

:: 2005 13 December :: 4.56pm

Incase you failed to notice, incase you failed to see, this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees.

8 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 13 December :: 4.08pm

Sometimes it's so hard for me to not say what I really want to say. I am very opinionated and I usually say what's on my mind but today I figured I probably should keep my mouth shut because I can say some really mean things so I decided I should just not say anything but I can't hold it in anymore so I'm just going to say what I really think and hopefully I don't end up regreting what I say.

I'm sorry but that whole idea just isn't going to work for some of us.

6 Chances | Words Of Hope?

Paradox

:: 2005 12 December :: 11.34pm

Battle went good.. Show went good...

Got another battle on saturday down in Detriot. this one's for some cash. Hopefully we have a chance... it's possible...

I like to move it! move it!

:: 2005 12 December :: 10.48pm

You really do make me sick, maybe just really annoyed, but it's hard to tell the difference. Get a life please, and leave me out of it!.....please.

whispers

:: 2005 12 December :: 8.05pm

be jealous
by the time lee pays me (dec. 30th),
i'll have put in over 170 hours..

i'll be getting paid overtime for 3 out of the 4 weeks i've worked there so far.

fucking sweet.

anne will get paid off, and my mom will get paid off.. and i'll still have money left over.

ps- liz, you can keep that 4 bucks. merry christmas lol.

:: 2005 11 December :: 10.29pm

wow... some girls are just sad.

jess and stacy... i love you!

4 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 10 December :: 4.34pm

If this what you want. This is what you get.

:: 2005 10 December :: 4.06pm

I wish people would make their own opinions about people, and not according to what other people tell them about the person that they haven't met yet, or....I wish that people would keep their opinions of others according to what they saw and knew, and not change their opinions from things that happened between that person and another person.

:: 2005 9 December :: 11.49pm

Alright so maybe it was worth it.

Tonight was fun. I love Dani, Megan, Emily Sorensen, Aaron, Scott, Matt, Emily E, Brittany. We always have so much fun.

But I should go to sleep now. I couldn't even stay awake for the movie.

<3 Ashley

just_peachie

:: 2005 9 December :: 2.15am

Well, needless to say, a lot has happened since I last posted.

First of all, my journal suddenly changed...hmm, i wonder what loving best friend would do that for me...Brianna, DUH! Hehe!

Lately, things have been quite...well...all over the place really. I haven't had time to see my friends. :( I miss them. Especially Brianna. I've had so many awesome times with that girl and i love her almost as much as I do Kevin. (Man I hate danglin'! Inside Joke hehe!) Kevin and I are IBO's now. Woot! We actually pulled Chad Menefee on as a partner, too. We're way excited. We've already turned a profit in the first month! So needless to say business is great.

Christmas is coming around obviously and I'm happy to say that I'm really in the holiday mood. It's been really fun so far. Except for the fact that I miss my mom sooooo very much. I'll admit it. Putting up the Christmas tree with Kev and Lee and Amie made me cry thinking of how my mom and I would always do it together. It's my first Christmas without my parents, and for some reason I'm taking it really hard. But other than that, the holiday prospect is generally positive!

I do have to be mushy though. Sorry! But I'm just blown away with the relationship Kevin and I have. It's everything I've expected from a marriage and more. We really love taking care of eachother. And with the whole Christmas without my mom thing. Anytime I've cried all he does is say, "Aww, babe, come here." And pulls me into a loving embrace and comforts me. Tonight he even suggested that we take a trip to visit my mom tomorrow, which was the sweetest thing. I just can't say enough about him!

So for everyone that I'm sure would eventually find out from the wonderful Cedar chain of gossip what I'm about to say, I'm saying it now so everyone can get their damn facts strait. I'm sure everyone knows about me not graduating last year. And I'm sure everyone frowns on that and whatever, but really, I don't care. You have absolutely NO idea what I've been through, and I'm not about to go through the whole list because I 1) That would take to long, 2) I don't want to relive everything, and 3) I don't feel like I should have to; just knowing that it's out of character for me not to have graduated yet is reason enough to know that there's more than what the "gossip chain" thinks they know. *deep breath* Ok, so why I just went over that, you ask? Well, I'm going back to school. To Cedar alternative. Yep, livin' it up with the rejects with the weird ass rainbow fucking walls. Now that I have a HELL of a lot more stable life, I'm going back. I'm sure there are those that are thinking, "Alternative? What, is she crazy?" No actually, I'm sane, thank you, and I'm doing not only myself good but others as well. I know that if I went back to the High School, I'd be kicked out by lunch time for kicking peoples asses that had the audacity to step out of line and make some mean ass comment about me being there. I swear to goshness that I wouldn't hesitate to sock anyone that has a comment about it. Which would also interfere with my work, which I don't have time for. At the alternative, I really don't give a rats ass what they think of me, or what they say to me. I've got a fucking mission and it's going to get done. Plus, the regular high school is all caught up in this he-said-she-said bull shit and who's with who and who's doing what and all the nonsense that really doesn't matter in the real world. It's shit that clouds the mind and dulls the senses. A place where the jocks date the cheerleaders because thats whats done in the movies and their girlfriend is a really easy piece of ass so it doesn't matter if she's annoying as fuck. A place of scandal and drama. And I don't mean the class, I mean the kind that people create because they haven't got a fucking thing better to do with their time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying alternative is going to be like a slice of heaven, trust me I'm not that naieve. Atleast the people there don't care about all that sugar coated bull shit. They'll be too busy swaping drugs to give a shit about what I'm doing. So even though that was long winded, it was something I needed to get off my chest. So there. I said it.

Well, I'm gonna quit here tonight. Maybe more later.

7 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 8 December :: 7.11pm

Today was probably one of the worst days of my life and I don't think it's going to get any easier until that day comes. The truth behind the reason why I didn't come to school yesterday wasn't all because I woke up late and I was sick. Yeah, both of those things are true but Veronica's mom did call me Tuesday night and she told me she was going to bring her to school on Wednesday and I was scared. I was scared to see her so I didn't want to go and when I got to school today I soon found out she was coming today. I can't begin to explain how scared I was. I don't know why I was scared. It's not like she was going to hurt me or something. I just couldn't handle it. I barely could look at her and when I did look at her for the first time, I can't even explain how it felt. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even introduce myself. Sam Foley had to tell her who I was. The only reason why I went near her was because someone told me that I might be the person to spark her memory. So I did it, just for her. It hurts so bad seeing your best friend look at you as if she's never seen you before. I just want to tell her all of our memories and I wanted to show her our spot but I knew it wouldn't help. It seems like were missing so much of our friendship. I feel like she's running out of time and it's frustrating because I want her to remember so bad, but she can't and I know it's not her fault. I miss her so much and I would do anything to help her, but unfortunately theres nothing I can do. Getting up every morning for school is just going to get harder and harder until she comes back. And if you don't understand how I feel, think about it happening to YOUR best friend. I think I'll probably cry tomorrow too. I feel like I still need to cry which is weird but thats just how I feel. Stacy told me I was cute when I cried and it's cute how many people kiss me when I cry. They did that in the play too.

It`s unbelieveable how we pick ourselves up everyday, just to be let down anyways.

That hurt. It's okay, I'll remember that next time.

Ashley