(So Many Assume) <marquee>...So Little Know...</marquee>

:: 2005 17 October :: 12.11pm

I

am

so

weird.

But I amuse myself. : )

:: 2005 16 October :: 7.05pm

Elizabethtown=dumbest chick flick I've ever seen in my life! Don't waste your money.

8 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 16 October :: 2.24pm
:: Music: Ani DiFranco

what a depressing day. as much as i want to get up and wash my face.. i just lay here in a dark room wishing i was everything that right now im lacking so bad.

my car is getting to me, i dont have a ride to work tonight. i dont know when im gonna have something to drive... my mom is bending over backwards to make it easier for me, but for godsake i've had my licene for over a year now, she shouldnt have to stress out so i can drive her car for a day... if only i was just in walking distance.

for about 20 minutes i was gonna stay home, brandi was gonna cover for me, and i was gonna pick up her wednesday... but then i realized that i would rather go to work depressed and upset and beable to see him on wednesday. but thats just me, thats just a sacrifice that i'm willing to make so we can spend time together. whatever.

i just want it to be winter so i can come home and bundle up and drink hot chocolate and chai and not feel guilty about NOT being outside on a beautiful day.

i've been thinking about college alot lately. i dont know what im going to do. im a fucking senior.. and i have no idea what i want to do after high school. something about that terrifies me immensely.

i just want to be out of here. away from everything that i've always known, or maybe everything that i've never truely known.

kellilynn21

:: 2005 16 October :: 12.54pm
:: Music: Gold Digger- K. West

*WeEkEnD*
This weekend has been so much fun. I hung out with AshMeg and Lisa. Friday: Me and Jordan went to my house and we both got ready for whatever we were doing, then Jord brought me to Ashley's then Lisa came and picked us up and we all went to the game in Sparta. Then Lisa brought me and Ashley back to Ashley's, while she hung out with Chris. She didn't get back to Ashley's until like 2 in the morning so me and Ash were sleeping lol. Then Saturday morning all 3 of us went to Big Boy for breakfast. After that Lisa brought me home and i got ready for The Haunt. A bunch of people went. Kourtney and Justin, Megan and Luke, Emily, Brittney, ETC. I was suppose to to meet Brianna there too, but when i finally found her everyone was yelling at her for cutting. It was friggen one person but whatever lol. (Sorry Brie). Then the whole group went to the Corner Bar and ate, then after that Megan brought me and Ash back to the car pool so that Lisa could drive us home, but Lisa has a game today so she went home. And today: Me and Ash are just gunna watch movies and eat all this food her mom just bought lol. So yeah this weekend was so much fun. Its kinda nice to hang out with everyone that i did, sense i don't really hang out with different people that much, I'm usually just with Jordan (*Not Saying That I Don't Love You Jordan*). I was suposta see her(Jord) at the Haunt but they decided not to go. So yeah that was my lovely weekend. I have so much fun with Ashley. Shes so funny.

[17.Days.Till.My.Birthday]

*Comment.... It Makes Me Happy*

:: 2005 16 October :: 12.35pm

home alone.............again...............

breezeyluvsu

:: 2005 15 October :: 5.27pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Fix You

Ut-Oh

For some odd reason...

I DO NOT have a good feeling about tonight.

Hmmmm......

3 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 15 October :: 12.42pm

i guess its about time i update about homecoming. prom probably takes the cake cuz of everything we did before and after... but dancing wise... this one was the best!

me and keegan clashed, but at the same time looked really good together. the green and purple ended up looking very nice. i couldnt have been happier with my dress. it looked perfect, it wasnt to long, it fit wonderfully... *smiles. so anyways, me, keegan, stacy, brad and brandi went to timbers for dinner... i got meatloaf... heck yes! but then i made keegan trade me his steak.. giggles.

the dance turned out VERY nice. the decorations were awesome and i loved the theme. the seniors did a kick ass job.

we got our pictures taken right when we got there, hopefully it turns out good. we're not your average couple, and poses just dont work for us... so we did our own thing. thats what we usually do though... we always do our own thing...

but yeah.. the dance was great.. i danced with keegan all night.. almost as if nobody else was around. and the last song they played "you look wonderful tonight" is one of our songs.. so the night just ended perfectly. i got really good pictures, AND when keegan started break dancing... i didnt even get pushed the back of the circle... laughs.. i could actually SEE! its so cool that he does that.. i feel so cool dating him. *laughs again* i've never felt this way before.. or have ever thought that my boyfriend was cooler than me... its just amazing to think... wow, im dating keegan. i have to tell myself that from time to time...... he's so incredible.. and we're incredible together.

after the dance we just went back to keegans house and went to sleep. we were to tired to go bowling... and just feeling him close to me is all i need to make the night perfect... i know im overusing that word... but its the only word that fits.

the other day we went to klackle orchards and got pumpkins, donuts, apples, and gourds. it was so much fun. we got to ride in the "enchanted" pumpkins out to the pumpkin patch. keegans pumpkin is HUGE and mine WAS perfect until SOMEBODY broke the stem off. pshhh. but yeah.. that was a really fun day.

then last night after i got out of work we rented Crash and Call Me... we only watched Call ME cuz there was no way we were stayin up for two movies. it was ok.. but it really should have been classified as porn. lol. it was a BIT graphic to say the least. ahh well... what can ya do right?

so right now shelby has a bunch of little friends over because she turned 5 on monday... *tears.. she grows so fast* so todays her little birthday party. i have to go to work tonight... which i dont want to do... but when i get out we'll probably watch that other movie.

the good thing about having people over is that it forces me to clean my room. usually its a disaster, but my room is seroiusly the coolest room i've seen in person.. .not trying to be conceited or anything... but its pretty kick ass. so when people are over i always gotta show it to em. scott came over with keegan today... so in otherwords i was cleaning all morning. aww it was so cute. keegan came over to do some flips for all shelbys little friends. he's just so damn cool! *giggles

bad news though.... i cant drive my car anymore. we brought it in to get the breaks checked out and they said the front and back brakes are totally shot and it also needs new brake pads and roters and all that other stuff that me, being a girl, doesnt know anything about. but yeah, the cheapest they could fix it for is 650... and my mom doesnt think its worth putting that much money into. so i think we're gonna look into getting a different car.. possible an explorer. but i'll be out of a car for about a month im guessing... not like it matters.. i dont drive very often anyways. .maybe once or twice a week... if that. but yeah... thats my story.

yeah.. so i havent updated in awhile.. as a result this entry jumps all around and sounds kinda odd... but at least ya'll got the jist of my past week. alright... bye loves.

:: 2005 15 October :: 12.30am

I almost went to your house tonight. For one reason and that was to kiss you. And I know you don't believe me, and that's because I've convinced both of us that I would never kiss you, but tonight, I would have. I guess I just needed a reason, and that's something that I didn't get.

2 Chances | Words Of Hope?

breezeyluvsu

:: 2005 13 October :: 7.36pm

Why are you acting like this? Sometimes life isnt fair, sometimes you dont always get what you want, and sweetie

the world doesnt revolve around you .

So get your ass off your high horse and start living down here on a level we like to call

Reality

tonyp.

:: 2005 13 October :: 4.32pm

well i was playin outside with sam (yes my little brother) and we had a great idea

were going to try and start a football frezbie team, well actually two (or more) teams of 6 and were gona play at the beach or in back yards.

soo if anyone is intrested leave a comment!!

7 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 13 October :: 7.03pm

It's not up to me anymore. If you really want me in your life then you'll find a way to put me there.

Yesterday at lunch everyone said that they can picture me living in Laguna Beach and they can picture me being one of the girls on the show. Then today everyone at lunch said they can imagine me being on sweet sixteen and having my birthday party like that. I sometimes can picture those things too lol. Megan was like "your just an MTV'er" lol.

Anyways I'm in a better mood now. Today I stepped on this boys(im leaving his name out of this little thing) foot while we were walking in the halls and then online he goes:

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
Umm it was kind of boring. I thought I would get in trouble for my skirt being too short but I didn't lol.

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
How was yours?

anonymous boy:
well this girl in a skirt stepped on my foot

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
aww why would she do that ;)

anonymous boy says:
i guess she thinks she isn't a bitch or something

anonymous boy:
lol

anonymous boy:
j/p

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
lol i'm not a bitch!!

anonymous boy:
j/p your not a bitch your a hottie

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
lol thanks....

He's so sweet.

<3 ashley

:: 2005 13 October :: 5.25pm

ok, I'm going to tell you know a sad story about a girl who wasn't paying attention.

There once was a girl and her name was....let's just call her Jenna....well anyway, Jenna was a happy-go-lucky type of girl and her carefree ways often got her into trouble. One day after a particularly long day, she was walking through her living room, and started to stumble on her pants. Her mom started yelling at her to pay attention to what she was doing, but it was too late. Her pants won and Jenna fell into the stone fireplace. Undoubtedly bruising her butt, and now has to put a band-aid on her elbow that immedietly started bleeding. So much for not having any bruises for once in her life! Jenna was a little bit upset, but the strong survive, and she knew that she would persevere! The End!

*true story*

7 Chances | Words Of Hope?

wierdo

:: 2005 13 October :: 9.37am
:: Music: Def Lepard-when love and hate collide

Well lets see........i haven't been on here in a while.

My weekend was pretty fun. I went to the football game friday night, and then i think....i went home. Saturday i took Becky and Jessie out to dinner for their homecoming dance, so that was pretty......interesting. Then saturday night i was hangin out with a few friends and i stayed the night there. That was a lot of fun too. I got to spend some time with a certain someone. I kinda liked her before hand, but after saturday night it turned into a lot. Hopefully me and her can spend more time together and make something happen. I think we would both be happy with it. I'm hoping that she feels the same way though. Anyways, umm sunday i went home and just sat there and didn't really do anything. I went golfing, and then i went to tyler's house later on that night. But other than that, i work every day and try to make plans to do something when i get done every night.

I finally talked to my mom the other night. It was the first time i talked to her since my birthday back in April. But then again it kinda made me sad. I was hoping to hear some really good reason to why she hasn't called in so long, but her reason was she is too busy. Good to know she is too busy for her two kids. She can't stop for 15 minutes out of her busy days to call her kids that live 2,000 miles away? When her son just graduated from high school, and her daughter just had a baby and got her own apartment. So it was good to talk to her, but just sad to hear her say...."i've just been really busy."

So yeah, but anyways i should probably go now. Somebody give me something to do today and leave me a comment so i can read it. lol

Kevin

:: 2005 13 October :: 6.51am

just what i want to wake up to.

every day just keeps getting better and better.

:: 2005 12 October :: 10.02pm

i'll just set aside how pissed i am for the time being. its not going to do anything any good... and if i open up and say what i REALLY feel.. i'll have to hear how it hurt someones feeling... so yeah, i'll just pretend everythings fine and im ok, because im a fucking doormat.

before i get into homecoming.. i gotta vent. deal with it.

i understand that im short and blonde and tend to smile alot. does that mean that im perfect?! if i flip out on somebody... its like "oh damn, erikas pisssed" WHAT am i not allowed to show some irrational emotion? just because i hide how i feel in school to avoid added drama... doesnt mean i dont HAVE unneccesary drama. if i were to be totally honest with myself and most the people i surround myself with... i wouldnt have many friends. im not judgemental.. i just cant put up with peoples shit very easily. Grow the fuck up. we're seniors for gods sake. im counting the days before i get the hell away from all these people. we grew up together, we'll see eachother at reunions, pretend we were friends "back in the day" and move on with our lives. and i may or may not marry somebody from around here. im certainly not gonna plan on it. im 17 years old. why would i want to be tied down to love and commitment? am i happy with my relationship? yeah, because its a healthy relationship. we dont center our lives around eachother. thats a bit pathetic dont cha think? i seriously wish i could just go up to most every happy person in the hall and slap them and be like what the fuck is wrong with you! the world sucks! *laughs.... god im glad i can find humor when im so PISSED.

first times..... yeah.. unforgettable right.
just like i'll never forget the first time you put a recreation before me, or the first time you hung up on me, or the first time you just left me... because its not like i've never been abanded before right, or the first time you called me a bitch, or the first time i'll go to bed upset with you, or the fact that YOUR first time is with someone else. that ones my favorite. i hate that about you. HATE it. to bad you'll never have to experience that. physically feeling your heart break every time you think about, and at the same time wanting to vomit. maybe thats love, maybe thats what we're waiting for and this is just a preview.

*ahem* Love is never fully being happy, but settling for a great person with just less than what you expected. oh yeah, and throw in the... "its not fair" part and maybe the "drive eachother crazy" part.

i honestly am scared to death that i'll never fall in love with anyone. im to anal about love, im to picky... i know exactly what i want. but it doesnt exist. and that doesnt say anything bad about my relationships or future relationships... it just tells me that its time i take my head out of the clouds and think realistickly.

i dont know. im so irrational sometimes. i dont know why he puts up with my bullshit. tonight hurt... but so did yesterday. it never gets easier. it makes me wish we were in love so at least in my lowest moment i could tell myself "but its ok, because he loves me" and it kills me that i cant... but its not just that. its me too. im not ready for that. like i said... who knows if i'll ever be ready. ive encountered first hand love due to my mom and her divorce. i would rather go to hell then relive the events we suffered through. i honestly think chris was satan. but he didnt start out that way. man he fooled us. i dont want that to happen to me. and i guess im just scared to death that im gonna open myself up, become totally vulnerable to pain... and be fooled.

ok.... i took a break from the last paragraph and went to talk to my mom. she always makes me feel better. but now im just depressed.

im so fucking selfish. and i know that. and i can admit that....

maybe i'll get to homecoming a different day. i'd like to be happy when i update about such a great night.

this is one of those nights where a tiny part of you hopes you never wake up, even though im not suicidal.... eternal sleep just sounds so good sometimes.

:: 2005 12 October :: 8.59pm

Okay, so weird things keep happening to me and it's not just a coincidence anymore.

I will try to tell all of them if I can remember everything.

Oh and these aren't in any special order either.

I already told this story a while ago during the summer but I'll refresh everyones memory.

1) I was in Detriot and I had a dream that Mischa Barton was on the cover of Cosmo Girl. I woke up and I told my cousins friend about it and she said it would be really scary if she was on the cover of the magazine so that day we went to the store and we checked and she wasn't on the cover of it. I went home like a week later and when I walked in my room there sitting on my bed were all my magazines that I get and on the cover of Cosmo Girl was Mischa Barton and she looked exactly like she did in my dream and the reason why she wasn't on the cover in the stores is because that was that months issue and I get them a month early. So I thought that, that was really freaky considering how I'm obsessed with her. So of all people, it was her. I just don't know.

2) A few weeks ago I was at Sam Ballews and I stayed the night at her house because we had pictures the next day and we wanted to get ready together and then before I left I got into a fight with my mom because my phone charger just went missing out of my room and I wrote about this in woohu too. So before I left Sam and I checked my room everywhere and we took everything out of my bag because we were folding stuff to wear for the next day and putting it in there. I am 100% sure it wasn't in there because everything was taken out of it and Sam can confirm this too. So we get to Sam's and she wanted to use my hair krimper thing so I had to take it out of my bag and my phone charger was not in there..so then in the morning I opened my bag and there on top of all my clothes was my phone charger. I have no idea how that happened and Sam was even freaked out.
3) I had a dream a few weeks ago that my best friends parents were going to get divorced and then she called me a week later crying telling me that they were. (Chloe)
4)I went tanning a while ago with Kourtney and Lisa and Lisas car was broke and my tanning lotion was in her glove box so I asked if I could use my sisters because she has the same exact one and my sister said I could so then in the morning when Lisa picked me up she had her car back so now I had my tanning lotion in her glove box and my sisters in my purse and then after school we went to go tanning and I got mine out because I didn't want to use my sisters since I had my own back and then when we got to the tanning place I couldn't find my sisters and I searched Lisa's car everywhere and Kourtney and Lisa couldn't find it and I swear to god I had them both because I remember trying to figure out which one was mine and then when I got home I went into my room it was sitting on my bed..I was like omg.
5) The other day Lisa and I were at Target and we got into her car to leave and then an alarm went off right next to us and then another one right after, and then another one. I don't know what the point of that was or why it happened but I just thought it was weird.
6) The other day at school Lisa goes "omg I just..." and right before she said anything more I was like "got really dizzy" and she started freaking out because thats what she was going to say. So we both got dizzy at the same time. Odd!
7)Oh and yesterday I was talking to Erika Bauer, DeAnna, and Katie about how I never have subs in school and then today I had three of them. Weird!!
8) I had a dream about police officers and it had something to do with Lisa and then she got a ticket for speeding and then also she said shes been seeing a million more cops that normal and the other day we were on the freeway and she was going 85 and then someone passed us and it was dark by the way and were like "wtf why are they going so fast" and it was a cop and he didn't even give her a ticket for speeding..but that was just weird too.

and I know theres a few more things but I just cant think of them right now so I'll add them when I do.

EDIT

okay so more weird things I thought of.

Before I went to the Red Flannel Pageant with Elyse and Em we were talking about who we thought would win I said Sam, Brittany, and Lauren on my first guess. Elyse was suprised when she found out that my guess was true.

Then a while ago I went and seen Flightplan and before we left the person I went with asked me what I thought happened to the girl and I told them exactly what I thought and it turns out thats exactly what happened but I dont want to say it because it will give it away if you haven't seen the movie. Also I don't really remember how many people on the plane there was but I think it was 400 something and only two people on the whole entrire plane knew what happened to the girl and I guessed the two people.

Weird. Then the other day in the car with Lisa she goes "you know what song I really like" and instantly I said "photograph-nickelback"
and that was the song she was going to say. I don't know how these things happen anymore.............

yay mishy im sooo excited for my pictures and whatever your doing with those songs....

6 Chances | Words Of Hope?

whispers

:: 2005 12 October :: 6.18pm

team: tart-carts
thats tweeky: good. i didnt want to have to share you with allison. i'm already sharing you with anne and teri. fuck that. can't add allison. no sir.
denation7: haha
denation7: you have to share me with everyone... im the BK Man-Whore
thats tweeky: fuck that. i quit sharing you
denation7: lol
thats tweeky: i'll just.. not have you at all then. :-(
denation7: oh you can't do that, lol
thats tweeky: fine. i'll share then.
thats tweeky: but when it comes to charles. hell no. he's all mine lol
denation7: lol
denation7: HAHA
thats tweeky: i'll play like i share him.. but he knows. lol
denation7: "dat's my bitch"
denation7: lol
thats tweeky: besta back off my boo, son lol
denation7: HAHA
denation7: okay, you can have Charles, but I get Jana
thats tweeky: fine. take jaba. she my bitch too tho. anne is all mine tho. i share her with ross only because ross.. he asked nicely lol.
denation7: lol
denation7: fine, if you get anne, then I get 75 percent of allison and i get cherie.. its only fair, because since you have anne that means you automatically get ross too
thats tweeky: you can have ross.
denation7: screw ross, i don't want him
denation7: i'd rather have allison and cherie
thats tweeky: fine. i get ross.. you get mike!
denation7: FUCK THAT
denation7: lol
denation7: scuzzy is all youra
denation7: *yours
thats tweeky: i feel like i'm the team captin of dodgeball, and i'm picking my players lol. I DONT WANT HIM!
denation7: haha
denation7: TAKE THAT BITCH
thats tweeky: fine. i'll take him if i have to. he's alright when he's not being dumb.
denation7: fine, there's only one way to settle this... a draft lottery.. put everyone's names in a lottery bin and we each pick
denation7: my luck, i'll probably end up with Logan and Webb
thats tweeky: fuck that. you can have logan. i get webb.. i love her.
thats tweeky: i hate logan.
thats tweeky: i'll take mike if you take logan.
thats tweeky: i get the big j though. oh, you can have shannon as well.
denation7: lol
denation7: I'll trade you webb for Jaba and Steve-O
denation7: FUCK THAT. im not taking that piece of shit Shannon
thats tweeky: lmao. i wanna make a shirt. one for me and one for you. we're the captin of the bk team, and on my shirt i'll have all my bitches, and on your shirt you have your bitches.
denation7: HAHA that would be GREAT
thats tweeky: i like it. i'll do it lo.
thats tweeky: lol*
thats tweeky: okay okay.. here's an offer you can't refuse.
denation7: LOL, I'd laugh my ass off so much I'd probably pass out and die
thats tweeky: you..
thats tweeky: you can have me, if i can have you.
denation7: im listening, lol
denation7: I can not refuse that one, haha
thats tweeky: sweet it's settled then. i get all the cool people plus mike and you get all the not so cool people. that includes shannon and NO TURBO!
denation7: FUCK THAT HAHA
thats tweeky: we'll share shannon. he's alright if you give him the time of day
denation7: okay, i'll take shannon IF i get allison
thats tweeky: allison comes with anne.
thats tweeky: i got anne.
denation7: but if I got ross
denation7: that means I have anne
denation7: which means I have allison
thats tweeky: no.. i said i got ross and mike. you get.. whoever. cherie.
thats tweeky: and jaba
denation7: done
thats tweeky: what about joe? you can have joe.
denation7: joe isn't eligible
denation7: lol
thats tweeky: lmao alright

tonyp.

:: 2005 11 October :: 7.14pm

well tattoo convention is this weekend. im really excited, to be around so many artest is going to be really cool theres going to be 57! tattoo shops there tattooing.
after that im going to have to start my apprentiship in Grand rapids at grand rapids custom design. and at the end of this month im going to a tattoo party to do some piercings...i need to get more rings.
well i finilly got my whole band together were gona get together this week hopefully.
oh well. talk to you all later

:: 2005 11 October :: 9.31pm

Aww..that seriously meant so much to me.

After what I did, and he still forgives me. How cute. Seriously!

Ahh I'm so happy.

End of Story.

:: 2005 11 October :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: Happy

Maybe it's time you looked at yourself & stopped blaming your life on everyone else.

<3 ashley

:: 2005 11 October :: 4.42pm

noo, god im just so fucking mad...... its just a multiple entry type of rage i guess....

what the hell is your problem?

:: 2005 11 October :: 4.39pm

im done with this.

i had a rotten day, and the one thing i was looking forward to taking comfort in cancelled on me.

i could very easily take comfort in something else.

What's your Superhero Name?

:: 2005 11 October :: 3.32pm

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Hyper Warlock

Your Superpower is Piracy

Your Weakness is Glitter

Your Weapon is Your Slime Throwing Stars

Your Mode of Transportation is Hydrofoil

The World's Shortest Personality Test

:: 2005 11 October :: 3.30pm

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.

Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.

In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.

You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.

And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!