(So Many Assume) <marquee>...So Little Know...</marquee>

:: 2005 11 October :: 3.27pm

Your French Name is:

Mathilde Allaire

What's Your French Name?

:: 2005 10 October :: 9.00pm

BeautifulBrie17: dude we just established that
RoxySurfBabe1892: no we haven't
RoxySurfBabe1892: theres strawberry poptarts and there is also strawberry milkshake popstarts. Theres a difference.
BeautifulBrie17: my bad dogg.
RoxySurfBabe1892: Lol so you haven't had the strawberry milkshake ones?
BeautifulBrie17: yes i have. i just said that i have
RoxySurfBabe1892: But you were talking about the regular strawberry ones
RoxySurfBabe1892: jeez
BeautifulBrie17: but i thought you were talking about the sameone
RoxySurfBabe1892: no
BeautifulBrie17: i was not
BeautifulBrie17: the strawberry milkshake poptarts
RoxySurfBabe1892: lol
RoxySurfBabe1892: im lost
RoxySurfBabe1892: so you have had both of the strawberry poptarts. got it.

Oh man~

10 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 10 October :: 6.43pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Heres to the night

Here's to the nights we felt alive.

SO yesterday was really fun. I totally forgot it was 9 months for Dan and I.. He came over with flowers and the cutest card. I understood it though.. He's a moron... and hes all mine !.
Right after he came he says, happy anniversary. I ran to the calander and sure enough it was the ninth. I felt HORRIBLE . Like i was the worst girlfriend ever. But he was just happy to see me for the 3 minutes he did. After that Andrea, Ashley and I went to Marvins and hung out there. It was a great , GREAT night.

<3

9 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 10 October :: 5.40pm

Here is a picture of just us girls before homecoming. I'll post more later.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

24 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 10 October :: 3.23pm

I definately will do it this time.

Only a week though.

Paradox

:: 2005 10 October :: 12.39am

I L _ _ e you Erika......

^^ Fill In The Blanks!

Lemme Give You A Hint...

The First Letter Is A Vowel, And The 2nd Is A Constanant.

Bet You Thought Wrong...

I LIKE You Erika.. See, we're not one of those couples who jump into 'love' and I do love THAT. because when it is time for us to be in love. it'll be magical.

Geez. People and there jumping to conclusions all the time.

-K. Loye

:: 2005 9 October :: 4.36pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: Let Me Hold You-Bow Wow

Homecoming
This weekend was pretty fun. Friday I went and got my nails done and then I went to the game but Lisa, Brittney, and I left early because it was too cold.

Saturday I got my hair done for homecoming then like 17 people all went to Kourtney's for pictures, then we went to tgi fridays and then to the dance. It was really fun up until I seen someone who I wasn't expecting to be there and then I just ignored him and then I seen him walking over to me so I grabbed Emily Sorensen and Lisa and we ran out of there and he followed me and came up to me and started talking to me. It was akward and then Emily was just like "okay lets go" so it gave me an excuse to stop talking to him but I definately didn't know what to say or do at that moment. Lisa, Katy, Brittney, and I all went looking for little 9th grade guys and we would just go up to them and start like grinding on them..lol it was hilarious..some of them didn't even know what to do and some of them started dancing with us. It was definately fun. Afterwards a bunch of people went to Justins house. I hung out with everyone for a while and then I got really tired so I'm just like "yeah I'm going to go to sleep now" and some of us were inside and cohen was next to me on the couch so im like "okay im going to sleep on your lap" and I just fell asleep and then we left at like 2 and then Lisa came over and stayed the night. Today I went shopping and I bought two pairs of shoes that I didn't need but I also donated money to the hurricane katrina relief and then I went to Olive Garden (again for the second time this week) lol..so other than that, thats what I did and then tonight im hanging out with Andrea and Brie.

But I g2g get ready to leave. <3 ashley

4 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 9 October :: 2.09pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Atlast My love Has come along

A horrible day is worth seeing you smile at me when it's over.

Im hurting from bottling everything inside of me. But lately its like everything I say gets me in trouble. So I�ve been keeping everything to myself. I have bite marks on my tongue from things I should have said, but chose not to. Im dealing with so much regret and I don�t know what to do with it. I want to say what I want without it getting me in trouble. Just voice my opinions. It hurts taking everybodys input, and stopping myself from saying something that could be bad.

Im not sure whats going on in my mind, but its so damn confusing. Im so lost in love. Okay not so much lost but scared. Scared to death that one day I�ll wake up and it wont be there. Afraid that one day he�s going to realize just how amazing he really is.

Theres just some things that he does that make me think this. Theres so much that I don�t know about his life. I don�t know his whole family. I don�t know his deep secrets, I don�t even know what makes him happy, or what�s on his mind and it DRIVES ME EFFING CRAZY !!!.
Arguing is natural. But sometimes I think he does it intentionally. He gets upset and doesn�t talk to or look at me. I wish he wouldn�t spend all of his time hanging onto his pride hesitating and procrastinating about a risk that would be so worth taking. Like letting me know that im important enough to just give up the fight that will get us nowhere anyways. Everything I go through - tears upon tears of not knowing what hes thinking and what he wants. I�ll admit, I get upset my fair share.
Sometimes I just get worried that hes going to move on to bigger and better things. Just knowing that I get to him is what keeps me going. Just to see him smile at me after a long day, and know that hes happy, that hes truly happy to see me, makes me feel so blessed. So incredibly blessed that of all the people in this world, he allowed me to walk into his life and he allowed me to love him.
We talk about all these plans of the future and what will happen. But its hard to think of that when its hard going through the present. I want to live in the moment. In this moment. The future will still be ahead of us, waiting for us.
I want to let fate take care of everything. Have everything be spur of the moment. It�s the little things in life that count. I want to live for the moments that I cant put into words. I want to live my life, knowing that he loves me more than anything. He tells me this often.
But sometimes, its more than words. Sometimes, I can just� feel it. Its like sometimes when he looks at me, everything in the world stops until he blinks. Then reality comes back and everythings changed. Its like for that moment,
we connected in a way that nobody else ever has.

Dan - I love you so much and theres no way possible that i could ever explain it .. the only thing i can do is just tell you everyday that i love you and hope that you know exactly what i mean. Hoping you'll understand because you feel the same way. <3

:: 2005 9 October :: 1.21pm

LIZ AND PJ! You two belong together!! REALIZE THIS!

I'm so sad.

:: 2005 7 October :: 10.49pm
:: Music: Wake Me Up When September Ends

For some reason this song (Wake Me Up When September Ends) makes me really upset and sad. Yes I do know that the music video is sad but the actual song makes me sad and I don't even get what it's about but it just makes me think about someone and then it just makes me sad, like that.

I am so tired I don't think I can stay awake any longer. This morning I woke up at like 6:30 (which is early for me) and I got ready and then I went back to bed and I set my alarm for like 7:10 and I turned it off and then my dad came downstairs at like 7:20 and was like "Ashley!?! What are you doing?" and I woke up and I'm like "sleeepiing" but I wasn't late for school, I was just later than I normally am. I have to get up at 8:00 tomorrow but on Sunday I AM sleeping in whether anyone wants me to or not. I haven't been going to bed this past week until 12:00-1:30 and it sucks. Anyways, After school I went and got my nails done with Kourtney, Megan, Brittney, Emily, and Ashley.I spent $50 just on my nails today and then tuesday I went shopping and I spent $200 then Wednesday I spent $140 and last night I spent $100. I need to stop spending money thats not even mine!!! Ahhh...im so bad. I went out to eat again last night, so that would make it the third night in a row. I'm so excited for Homecoming tomorrow and I think afterwards were going midnight bowling, and everyone knows how I bowl lol, esp Brianna, Dan, and Kevin. They all laughed at me and I came in last place during our first game but then the second game I was came in second place, how I don't know!? But most of my friends suck at bowling so I guess it's okay lol. Sunday I'm hanging out with Andrea and Monday we don't have school so I don't know what I'm doing yet. I didn't find out that we didn't have school Monday until yesterday.

Kourtney and Brittney think I should have a party for my birthday which I think if I do I'm going to just invite my close friends and go stay at a hotel with them for a weekend since I did that before and it was fun and thats what we all decided we think I should do for my birthday. I remember for my 11th birthday I had a limo and my friends and I went to the mall lol and I remember I didn't invite Megan because we hated each other and she always thought Brittney and I were going to be better friends than they were. Which was dumb because we were 11!!! Anyways yeah so I think thats what I'm going to do. Sounds like a plan.

Anyways I will update about my weekend and homecoming in the next few days. Anyone who is going, have fun! I'm a moron and I haven't charged my phone in two days so obviously it's been turned off so now I have four voicemails to go listen to and text messages to read.

Much Love, Ash

P.S.-If anyone heard H's speach, it was really sad!! I started crying even though I've heard it over the years. When he was like "do you see that chair, LOOK AT THE CHAIR...that could be YOU" I was like "nooo..stop it, it's not going to be me!" I guess that speach was juat a reality check.

What does it tell you when you realize we've never been just friends?

:: 2005 6 October :: 10.53pm

I hate how we don't talk for weeks but then all of the sudden you talk to me again and it's like as if nothing happened and I slowy start falling for you all over again.

~Ashley Megan~

:: 2005 6 October :: 9.44pm

gahh!!! I don't like you. I don't want to be friends with you.

To everyone going to homecoming, have fun, I'll see tons of you at my house beforehand, but still, those that I won't, HAVE FUN anyways!

:: 2005 5 October :: 9.37pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Unwritten Law- Save Me

My days...
So things have been pretty good lately. I still think about it whether I should or not and I still wonder what happened with us. Anyways last night I went shopping with Lisa to get all our homecoming stuff (yeah I know it's late to go shopping for homecoming but we just decided we were going the other day) and then we went to Olive Garden and I seen Spike from my drama class (last years class) and she walked up to our table and I didn't even recognize her and she recognized me and she had to tell me who she was because she looks so differen't but she is coming to the play to watch me and everyone else that she knows from Cedar so I thought that that was pretty cool. On the way home we got lost. We always get lost because we had to go to my dads house to bring him food from Olive Garden and we got on the wrong highway/freeway I dont know the difference between the two. We are horriable with directions. Then today I went shopping again and I went out to eat at The Outback Steakhouse...it was pretty fun but I have to go do my homework. Ugh...

ashley

:: 2005 4 October :: 9.56pm

Wow..so much for going for the whole "month" thing.

tonyp.

:: 2005 4 October :: 10.03am

my back hurts soo frickin bad, i pulled like ever muscle lifting the front end of my car off of a curb (long stupid story..dont ask). at first i though i was gona get a hurnia because i got that sharp pain in my crotch but i just pulled out my hole lower back.
going to milwaukee in two weeks, its gona be a freakin Blast!
so i think im gona get a emprior scorpion, mabye not i dont know.
things are getting better but they still could get even better. but im going to homecoming:)
gona start playing d&d again. i need one more person so does anyone want to play?
well im gona go curl up in pain.

3 Chances | Words Of Hope?

kellilynn21

:: 2005 3 October :: 9.48pm
:: Mood: excited

Woot Woot
~30~

- - DaYs- -

.TiLl.

*My*

[B i R t H d A y]

brokenmentality

:: 2005 3 October :: 7.20pm

tonights laguna night, im waiting for keegan to get out of work so we can go over to stacys. that kristin... dirty little skank. giggles

im excited for homecoming, especially since i wont be so pale.. thank god for bronzing tanning lotion.

yeah, so algebra 2 is kicking my ass... anyone care to help me out?!

3 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 3 October :: 5.13pm

I have something to say but i'll probably regret it so I will just keep my mouth shut. Your really making this alot easier for me and your definately giving me plenty of reasons to move on and not to care anymore so nice work. Don't try to think you know what im talking about.

Friday I went to the game with Emily and Lisa then afterwards I went to Sam's house with Lisa and Kayla. We stayed the night there. I seen someone at the game who I haven't seen since 5th grade so that was a little weird and he remembered me because he came up to me and was like "hey Ashley"..I couldn't believe it.
Saturday I went to Red Flannel which was boring like always. Then we had our powderpuff game which was pretty fun I guess. Then I went to Brittanys little party thing and hung out with everyone. Then I went to Brittney Themm's and stayed the night and then Sunday I went to the soccer game with them and hung out with Cohen, Ethan, and Tj then we all went to the mall afterwards and then I went to Megan's house and I ate dinner with her mom, dad, and brother because she had to leave for two hours to go to work. Then later on that night Kourtney, Lisa, Emily Esch, and Brittney all came over too and we all stayed the night and talked and hung out. Emily and I are morons lol. We all skipped first hour today and then it was wacky hair day and Megan forced me to do my hair really weird and wow did everyone look at us but I did get alot of compliments on how awesome it looked.

Today I didn't really do anything besides play practice. I think the play should be really good this year. I had dance tonight but I didn't go because I need a break. I always have something to do every day after school and it's getting old, real fast. I didn't sleep much last night so I'm really tired. I guess this is all for now.

Sometimes I wonder what it is about you that makes me try so hard.

Paradox

:: 2005 2 October :: 11.19pm

Well, it's all said and done. And I know that you couldn't be any sadder, but at the same time, I know that you couldn't be any more relieved. And all I can do is sit here, and talk about it...

You probably thought that we broke up huh? TRICKY TRICKY I AM!

No, I'm talking about erika's red flannel reign, it's over. and I know that it sucks babe, but hey, you've got the role to still be my queen for as long as you want to be :)

:: 2005 1 October :: 1.20pm

Maybe I can't be just friends with you.

Lately I've been so busy I don't have time for anyone, or anything.

It sucks but I have to get ready so sometime this weekend I'll make time to actually write a serious update on what's been going on, besides these little two minute ones.

Ashley

tonyp.

:: 2005 30 September :: 4.26pm

im really excited, me brad and david are all going to wisconsion to go to a bog tattoo convetion in two weeks. its gona be sweet. were getting a hotel room and were gona tap the whole trip from start to finish.
but i still feel really sad and down. im just not happy with whats going on erica and i. i feel like its pointless to even try and let her know that i love her... but i still do.
ive tryed everything to be a better person but i guess nothing worked or is working.
im gona go draw some pictures.
if anyone wants to hang out give me a call, i hate being alone.

7 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 30 September :: 6.19pm
:: Mood: rushed
:: Music: Never be Replaced

"When it rains, It pours".

Jordan, your an effing genius. When I saw that you wrote that, it made me wanna cry. Within the last 3-5 days, reality has been kicking my ass. This isnt a perfect world, nobody's life is perfect, and fyi-

IM NOT PERFECT!!!!

Im not even close. No where near close. It's hard to try when everybody around you is pressuring to do this and to do that, eventually assholes it all builds up. I just wish I could go a f***ing day without one person nagging me about one thing or another.

Can't someone just hold my hand and tell me that it will all be alright? You'd think he would... but I cant tell him these kind of things. He thinks everything over here is leave it to effing beaver.
Well, It's not.
These kind of problems are the kind that drive one to insanity.

6 Chances | Words Of Hope?

Paradox

:: 2005 30 September :: 10.21am

My mom got in a car accident today, she's okay, nobody got hurt, but she totaled her car. So she's off to look for a new one. But until then she gets a rental. Whoo hoo! I can't help but feel responsible for the accident though. She shouldn't have had to bring emma to school. I should have- well emma should have gotten up on time, but none the less. I still feel partly responsible for the accident.

Damn.

Red flannel parade tomorrow. Make sure you stay for the whole thing, 61Syx Teknique is the last thing in the parade, we're gonna end it with a bang, some flips, some mills, top rock, bottom rock, etc. Whoop!

See ya tomorrow!

brokenmentality

:: 2005 29 September :: 9.43pm

play tryouts, powderfuff practice, tanning *FINALLY* (and yes you STILL owe me 20) and now hopefully a LOT of shut eye. say hello to another crazy busy weekend... SHOOT me.

:: 2005 29 September :: 4.19pm

Red Flannel=KiSs Me WeEkEnD!!! muahahahah!!!!