tuwang
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2011 20 November :: 2.03pm
so... I switched cuts last night for some cash to get out early, hopped on the metro, and made my way downtown to some club with only letters and numbers in the name trying to sound hip (tr 5768 or cb 12 12 or pg 3030 or something like that).
I danced my ass off (what little I had). I got in there and I was greeted immediately by a beautiful girl of the Peruvian persuasion, three shots of tequila, and a group of nice people. 3 hours later... all the stress and problems and worries and frustrations I seemed to have had are gone, rendering yesterdays post pointless. :) Funny how shitty dance music can do that.
except for the room mate thing. That's still on. They've been trying to not be so abrasive but I feel as though I've already made up my mind. This morning after Diana left, I went back to sleep only to be awoken by the sounds of sex coming through the vents. I've owned it up to a bad living situation at this point, because I can't really hate on that.
Advantages of new apartment:
~$100 less a month
bigger room that isn't next to the door that opens like a vault at fort knox
bigger kitchen and living room area
better room mates
My new room mates are both girls, however. We're all currently in a relationship of 4 months - 2 years so that's not really an issue, I've just never really lived with a girl other than my mom (who doesn't count). I'm both curious and mortified at the prospect. largely worried about shower time, but they aren't necessarily the "get really gussied up every day like we're going out" type.
so... next step is find a new job. wish me luck.
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tuwang
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2011 19 November :: 3.25pm
alright, so more detail....
Basically, when I came back from Japan I was living with my mom for the time being and didn't really have any friends outside of work.That's when I decided to fill my schedule with nothing but work.
Now, I live on my own and have a girlfriend whom I'd like to see on occasion. I DO get to see her usually twice a week, but she's in school and by the time our friday hangout date rolls around she's so exhausted all she wants to do is sleep. I on the other hand, have been sleeping all week and want to go out.
This week, I got a drunk phone call from her on thursday around 2 in the morning. She was too exhausted to really "hang out" or do whatever yesterday, and now that I have to work until midnight tonight she's going out with all her friends. I mean... I'm not upset that she's going out without me, but she had planted the idea in my head and I thought we were going somewhere other than inside on friday.
but of course she was too tired to really even have a conversation with me.
Also notable, when she goes out... she looks good, and she's fun to dance with. I haven't really had an opportunity to combine those two things at once. Usually she comes over on saturdays anyway, but she's been out and has taken the heels off and only wants to sleep because we both have to work early on sundays.
I feel like this should be the other way around, or at least that's what I've been told my entire life.
I am a glorified body pillow at the moment.
I'm sure this will change in the future as I get a new job hopefully within the next few months, and I'm positive it's not that she doesn't WANT me there, but damnit I'm getting frustrated and I don't know how to quell it.
I wouldn't be so frustrated if I didn't like her so much. She's really bright, I enjoy hanging out with her, tri-lingual, and has an ass that (as I've said before) is claimable on your taxes as a dependent.
What also doesn't help is that my room mates suck and keep me up all night. This has put me on a weird schedule and they are stressing me out, and I"m sick of my job that makes me work only the days I can see anyone outside of work.
I'm moving out in the next month and that's stressing me out as well.
I have finished re-doing the resume I've lost, including recontacting all of the references I've had, and for the most part looking at it I'm not the worst candidate in the "to be" place for my field.
I just feel like I"m getting the raw deal, and I want a break from stress.
advice? how does one be patient and motivated at the same time?
4 Coins |
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tuwang
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2011 19 November :: 4.28am
I've never had this problem before... ever...
It's really frustrating. I've done this a thousand times with everyone else but when it really matters I can't follow through....
the hell?
3 Coins |
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allyson
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2011 14 November :: 10.03pm
I forgot to write yesterday. Jared was home and we stayed up and played gears 3, and then I was exhausted and fell asleep.
We didn't do much yesterday. I went to Meijer with Autumn. First time in a while that I've been to the store (2nd time to meijer since august). I need to go to fields fabrics to get some material for a tag blanket and a matching baby blanket for a gift. I don't remember what else we did.. Oh, we had culver's for lunch and Autumn went with Jared to go and get it. That's about it. Callie's been sleeping like crap lately. waking and crying often. It's tiring. I hope she gets over it soon. I think I'm going to have to start waking up at 8 am all the time. Because callie wakes up at 8 am on the dot every morning. No matter what. Oh well. I guess I'll have to make myself be a morning person.
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allyson
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2011 14 November :: 9.39pm
Baby why you wanna cry?
You really oughta know that I
Just have to walk away sometimes
We're gonna do what lovers do
We're gonna have a fight or two
But I ain't ever changing my mind
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
I wouldn't last a single day
I'd probably just fade away
Without you I'd lose my mind
Before you ever came along
I was living life all wrong
The smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman, come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
Like crazy, girl
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy
Crazy girl
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allyson
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2011 12 November :: 11.12pm
I decided yesterday that I was going to start writing in here everyday. Just to keep a journal and record of even the most boring things I do.
Today started out with callie waking up at around 730.norther jared out I was ready to get out of bed so we put her in bed with us and she confined to talk to her self quietly while I laid next her her with eyes closed for 15 more minutes. I finally got up and brought her downstairs. Gave her some milk and changed her while we waited for sister to wake up.autumn of course wanted mama cereal and the baby had an egg and some sweet potato puffs. Daddy wakes up at around 930. He goes to the store and takes callie with him. They pick up pictures at walmart and go to meijer. while they are gone autumn and I do some glitter crafts and play out side.it was so nice out today.sunny and warm...especially in the sun. We had lunch and then just putted around while jared put up the new and kitchen light. By that time it was almost dinner time. So I heated the oven and baked some chicken and potatoes and autumn and I made some chocolate chip cookies too. Speaking of...I'm hungry.... I'm going to go eat...
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spud
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2011 11 November :: 9.17pm
Three man and...
Ice.
Luge.
5 Coins |
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allyson
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2011 10 November :: 11.55pm
My whole life there has only been one thing Ive known I have always wanted. To feel beautiful. And still to this day I have yet to feel that way.
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tuwang
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2011 9 November :: 4.09pm
Started redoing the resume I lost when my old lappy blew up. It's been a pain in the ass recalling some of the information I had but hopefully it shouldn't be too much longer and I'll be able to get my foot in the door somewhere.
Not sure where to start but D.C. is apparently where it's at for my field so... good luck to me I guess.
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allyson
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2011 27 October :: 12.07am
Wow it's been long. I have a few posts about Callie Mae... but I just wrote them.. like with a paper and pencil! OMG! haha Anyways. She's a whole year old. I've missed... a lot lately. I've been so sick. No one understands how I feel. But I thought of it today. Imagine have the flu, yes the diarrhea upset stomach achey tired flu... for 9 weeks straight. That's how I felt and still feel. It's very hard for me to do anything without having to run to the bathroom. Recently I've had an upset stomach that comes and goes and has made me lose my appetite. So much that.. I'm down to 89 lbs. I'm 5'4 and 89 lbs.. I look.. horrible. I feel horrible. I feel like a horrible parent. I can't do things with my kids. I missed autumn's first day of school, I haven't been able to go for walks all summer or go to the park, Autumn's halloween party is tomorrow, as well as dr appointment and "family" pictures that I won't be attending are friday, I did however make it through autumn's birthday and Callie's without too many episodes. I didn't feel good.. but I made it through. Callie has started walking from the couch to the table and to the wall willingly... but won't walk any further even though she can. (she walked 22+ steps the other night). She still have beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes... she loves her sister and her daddy.. and even me too!
Ugh, I can't believe I missed so much. I just have to take each day.. one step at a time. I can't believe I've been sick so long.. with no answers. Hopefully soon.
Prayers are needed.
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