Shinigami
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2004 21 October :: 7.48pm
I just got back from the mall with Kassondra. I had to get some pants for work, so I stopped at Forever 21, which has really cute clubbing cloths, and I found the pants I need there, after much searching. So I get in here and get the pants out of the bag and notice something written at the bottom of the bag. It says "John 3:16."
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glitterkisses
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2004 21 October :: 11.08am
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Goo Goo Dolls-Sympathy
So everything and everyone is just really irrating me. Espically certain people. So maybe I am un-happy a lot of the time lately, or the past couple of days. I have reasons, and even if I didn't, who says I have too? If I want to be a bitch, I'll be a bitch. If I want to cry, FOR NO APPARENT REASON, I'll cry for no reason. If I want to be happy even when I shouldn't, I will. If I want to be miserable for a couple days, because it's the only way I know how to deal with things, well then by God I will be. So fuck you if you don't like it. Just because you would choose to deal with MY situation differently, so about your luck, but you're not me, and I'll deal with MY life, and MY issues the way I want too. I do cry over things I'm sure most people find silly and stupid, but oh well. That's me, and if you dont' like it then just dont' talk to me. Simple as that. I'm not going to change my mood, or change how, or WHO I am for that matter just because it doesn't please your happy mood at the time. I don't ask you to be in a good mood when I am, or a bad mood when I am. So don't ask the same thing from me, becuase you won't get it. I always have more on my mind than I can say. Don't be a complete jackass because I am self consious about a lot of things, and I do get down easily, and as much as it MAY bug you, OH WELL. I DONT CARE! I'll complain a little, maybe a lot, I'll cry some, I'll eat some, I'll be a bitch some, I'll be crazy some, I'll ignore things more, I'll do what I DO to get over things. So get off my fuicking back. OH AND FYI IF I WANT TO BITCH AND COMPLAIN ILL DO IT A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT HERE, OR ANYWHERE SO FUCK OFF! You can be such a bitch to people. Here's a tip, when a friends in a bad mood either
1.) Leave them alone OR
2.)Comfort them
The things on the "Not to do List" are definatly
1.) BE A BITCH
2.) BE A BIG BITCH
lkfjlskjfl;ksajfiouwelrkjklfj
*screams
I just want to sleep. I'm so tiered. I love you Jess, thanks for this morning. :)
~Jess
7 Thoughts |
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glitterkisses
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2004 20 October :: 8.52pm
Went to the Doctor's today. Got Blood taken to test for Mono, and I freaked out and was balling. Hated being w/ my mom. Got home slept, watched A Cinderalla Story. It's the cutest fucking movie, and it made me so mad b/c THAT SHIT NEVER HAPPENS TO ME! Lucky bitch, I hate her. Isn't that pathetic? Ugh he just better get around to asking me soon. kjadskljaslkd;fjalkdjflkajdf I got my pictures back from Homcoming, I hate all of them but one with Mitch at my house, one with Kate at our house, One with Mitch at the Bowling Alley, and one of me and KAtie Jo. kajkjadlkfj
I WANT TO CURL UP IN MY BED AND NEVER WAKE UP AGAIN
alkdjflkajlkajsdf *SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Kandy
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2004 20 October :: 8.14pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: Fall to Pieces Velvet Revolver
all i can say is argh! nothing can ever be simple.
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shinigami
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2004 20 October :: 4.39pm
I got a job at Macaroni Grill. I start on Saturday.
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Shinigami
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2004 20 October :: 2.32am
The only way to be....is naked!
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glitterkisses
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2004 19 October :: 8.37pm
So life couldn't be any shitter. I haven't felt so run down ever. I want to just to be put out of my mysery and then I just want to fast foward through the next couple of months so I can just be okay, so everyone can be okay, and happy. akdfjaljflajd
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Shinigami
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2004 19 October :: 5.27pm
Yay! I have my own website! It's really crappy right now, but in time it will get better. And it's at, uck, geocites.
http://geocities.com/angelladyrinoa
Granted, I had to do it for my computer class, but I can at least make it look nice for petes sake.
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glitterkisses
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2004 19 October :: 4.10pm
So I feel extremley shitty, emotionally and physically. Probably more than most times I've ever felt this way. I hate my mom, and i love her at the same time. Everything is just such a mess, with everything, and I just don't know how to handle a single thing. I don't even know what's going on with me and Mitch anymore. Which breaks me up cos I really want this to work out. He makes me feel so complete, and keeps my mind away from all the bad. And my mom..I'm just realizing there will NEVER be a time where we get along, or we agree on something, there will NEVER be a time where she makes me happy being around her. I just don't know what to do, how to handle anything. I try to keep it off my mind, put it someplace where no one, including myself can get to it. So pretty much eventually it goes away, but it's just all falling out of the box in the top of the closest and I can't get the door open to shove it all back inside. It's just over flowing and I don't know what to do with it all. Everythings going to shit. I can't help any of my friends, espically my best friend. Nothing I do or say can help her, or myself, and I just feel more useless and worthless than I have ever felt before in my life.
God please help me be strong......
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glitterkisses
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2004 18 October :: 8.11pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Jessica Simpson-Angels
So it seems like everyone had a great time at Homcoming. I had one of the best nights of my life. I am so glad that I went. I'm just glad I went with Mitch.
It's nice to know that I'm making your life miserable as you like to put it, when I haven't even been around you for a month in a half. I'm just realizing that I'm better off, happier without you. I just pray to God one day I can look you in the face and not hate you with all my heart. That I can forget everything, every hurtful word, every stupid decsion and fight you started, everything can just be left in the past, and never brought up again. I hope......
Just thinking about you makes me smile, makes me so happy.
~Jess
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shinigami
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2004 18 October :: 6.48pm
:: Music: Utada Hikaru - Exodus '04
Wow, I have a lead on two jobs already. I had an interview with Steak n' Shake today that went well, despite the manager not being there (it was a regular emplyee that interviewed me). And a little while ago Macaronni Grill called me to set up an interview for tomorrow. Awesome.
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shinigami
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2004 18 October :: 12.29am
I'm going to get my own cell phone, finally. I get it this weekend. Even if I'm at home or not.
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glitterkisses
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2004 17 October :: 6.52pm
UGHHH YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH!!
jlaweioaslkdnfasnflaslf
Like always, I'm the happiest I have ever been and then somehow my stupid mom always finds a way to bring me back down again.
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glitterkisses
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2004 17 October :: 1.46pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Live-The Dolphins Cry
Last night was one of the best nights of my life.
I had to do other people's hair when I woke up, so I got home and had to hurry and get ready because plans changed and Mitch was picking me up at 4:30. So he got here and we got the pictures snapped outta us lol, I'm so sick of pictures lol. And he brought me roses, and ahh he's just such a sweetheart.
Then we went over to Taylor's and just hung out till everyone got there. Then we took more and more pictures. Then we went to the Outback, and my food was disgusting. Even the salad's there are spicy. My mouth was on fire, so I only had like 3 bites of my dinner. I felt bad, since Mitch was paying for it. ehh....what can ya do? Then we went to the dance, we got there a little late, but I had the best night of my life. I had so much fun. The night couldn't have been anymore perfect. The way I feel when I'm with him, makes me so happy, and I just don't have a worrie in the world when I'm looking into his eyes and see he's looking into mine.
So after the dance we went back to Taylor's and Mitch, Me, Taylor, Luke, and Joe drove together to go bowling w/ people. And bowled till 2, :) I won a game too against the boys. heh. It was fun. On the way home we just held hands and rested my head on his shoulder and we both fell asleep and taylor and joe. Then Luke wakes us up cos huh we're getting pulled over, lol just great. I didn't even know what was going on. But it was just an accident, cos Luke drove through an intersection in the right turning lane, but the officer was really nice. Then everyone had to go home, cos it was close to 3 in the morning. So me and Kate went to Barker's, yeah...not so cool. All I wanted to do was sleep. So after the whole fight fiasco, we spent the night at someone else's house, and now I'm exhausted.
I have never felt so beautiful. Just knowing that he's by my side, holding my hand, understanding and watching out for me, makes me so ..complete. Things are..perfect. He's perfect, for me. No one else compares or could mak eme feel the way he does.
~Jess
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Shinigami
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2004 16 October :: 4.24pm
:: Music: Ghost in the Shell - Inner Universe
Ok, so last night and most of today was spent putting in applications. I put in 8 altogether, so hopefully I'll have a lead or two out of them. I put applications in at, in chronological order, Forever 21, Wet Seal, Pac Sun, Express, Steak n' Shake (which I have to give an oral invertiew because they were out of applications), T.G.I. Fridays, Macaronni Grill, and Applebee's. I might get a second interview from Applebee's later in the week, which would be great, but other than Steak n' Shake I don't have any other leads. I'll update later when things progress.
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