silentcriez
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2004 28 December :: 12.10pm
in the heat of the night, im playing our song
while hitting the resin you left in the bong
im so lonely now, as i smoke you away
were so distant now, as im driven insane
you coat my lungs with a venomous tar
like a cancer to the heart you kill from afar
your holding me back, im blocking you too
your smoking me black, and im broken in two
(chorus)
devilish, deviant is the look in your eye
burning deep into me as your waving goodbye
suck the life right out of me, ill be fine
everytime..
in the dark of the room, im playing our song
while hitting the resin you left in the bong
like the organ at a funeral you eat me away
booming with anger, and fury and rage
peircing my skin, with the bite of a leech
take me down and bury me deep
show me another one of your new tricks
and slip me some more toxin, i need a fix
(chorus)
in the heat of the night, im playing our song
while hitting the resin you left in the bong
im so lonely now, as i smoke you away
were so distant now, as im driven insane
bite through the flesh bleed out my veins
youve corrupted my mind, and spoon fed me pain
im distant and hollow at the mercy of you
you bite and you practice your wickid voodoo
suck the life right out of me, im telling you i will be fine
everytime..
[xXx]
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 27 December :: 12.32pm
:: Music: ...
...
well christmas is over already. its liek you wait for it for a month anbd then it passes by like nothing. idk lol. i got lots of presents and money...it was an awesome christams but it made me miss natick alot too. it feels so different from what i imagined back 5 months ago...its sad thinking about it, so i dont. ill never have what i had there, and what remain are only memories. i guess im better than i was when i first started out, and im glad for that. ive lost so many more friends and people than ive gained...and i dont know how to deal with that.
the few friendships i have held on to have faded so much with the distance. and the feelings i once had have been lost forever. but it was all inevitable, i knew it but i refused to accept it.
please comment.
-darien
3 <3//s |
[xXx]
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Cocopuff
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2004 26 December :: 10.24am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Matchbox 20- "3 am"
Merry Christmas
Wow!! Christmas has already come and gone... its weird becasue it doent even feel like december.. this year has flown by, but so much has changed...
i didnt get much for christmas under the tree but thats cuz i got my class ring and i went to St Martin with Manda.. but i got a few things.. including 300$ on scratch tickets and a 500$ pack of corvett stuff...
yea so its the day after christmas.. and what are manda and i goann do... duhh stuff are faces go get high and stuff are faces again... so bubye
~Lizzy
[xXx]
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silentcriez
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2004 25 December :: 12.23pm
so its christmas.. and it doesnt really feel like it.. i had fun last night tho.. im glad kaitlin was home for me this year. i wouldnt have been able to get by this christmas without her. she took me out with chris and darrah last night for a drive to nowhere lol we all took some oc's and had a great christmas i love them. we drove the prison lol and into boston and everywhere imaginable. im glad i didnt get a chnace to sit by myself and cry this year... im just thankful that i have my sister i love her
:: 2003 25 December :: 12.17 am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: too much of not enuff - silverchair
what a fuckin merry christmas
its offically christmas.. and i am officially most likely the saddest person on earth at this moment in time
i want so bad to see my mom.. but i have to be dumb and push her out of my life when that is whats making me so deppressed.... ive tried to be strong and show her i dont need her but the truth is that i love her so much and i hate her becuz i miss her but i cant tell her that now, its too late.. she wouldnt care anyways
i feel so alone and its christmas, no1 deserves to feel alone.. my dads asleep and i cant find anything to do with myself. i just sit and think and teh only thing i can think about is my mom and i start to cry.
and my moms out with my sister prolly having a great time..
i promised myself i wouldnt cry tonight, and here i am drowning in my tears....
if only she knew everything i feel. i just want to wrap my arms aiound her and have her tll me everything will be ok.. i just need to know that im gonna be ok, becuz i dont know how much longer i can go on like this. its eating away at me. i cant handle it.
each present i may receive today will never quench my thirst for happiness..
becuz no superficial materialistic pile of crap could ever bring my mom back, and that kills....
im sorry i sound self centered tonite, as if no1 else has problems. im sorry. but to me this is as bad as it gets, i dont know pain greater than this so forgive me for these tears...
--
crying again... ick...
2 <3//s |
[xXx]
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silentcriez
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2004 24 December :: 3.19pm
soo its christmas eve.. i guess its better than last year.. maybe thats just because i actually havemy sister this year or maybe because i havent really had enough time to sit downa nd think about it because ive been rushing around everywhere..
who knows but xmas blows and so does being alone..
[xXx]
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 24 December :: 1.47pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: rich girl
blah...
well tomorrows christmas...and it doesnt even feel like it...it seems every year my enthusiasm for christmas is decreasing. oh well. i got a few presents for christmas so far...but ita ll just reminds me of how much i miss natick. i dont know. nothing else is new...i guess i have to babysit on new years and the 26th...which really sucks. my aunt from FL is coming on the 27th.... oh yeah and im on birth control...and its for regulation lol! figured id share. well nothing else to say i guess. i miss everyone, and i really want to visit soon, but i just dont know about that.
oh yeah...picture of me and michelle...:)
please leave a comment.
6 <3//s |
[xXx]
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silentcriez
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2004 23 December :: 7.28am
goodmorning
*whoever reads this remember it is just a dream*
i had this horrible dream last night.. that we were at school and i brought a knife... and lizzy had planned on killing meaghan.. but instead killed amanda burch.. the cops came and took both lizzy and i away we were put into our cells and we just sat theres for hours.. some people showed us around the prison.. like where we eat and stuff.. i looked over to the side and their was a giant concert with moshpitts everywhere and me and lizzy went in...then the night came and they brought us our pills, i figured some were sleeping pills etc.. lizzy took hers and i took a few of mine..somehow i got released but lizzy was still in jail.. i randomly saw matt hamel and he said that jodi gold ripped me off HAH then i was in my kitchen looking at the 2 pills i had left and all of a sudden they unfurled and they were worms with long arms that were running all over my counter i killed both of them and missed lizzy alot :( i dont remember what happened next but i also remember being in las vegas which was also st martin and lizzy and i swam where we had on out trip..
i dont know what these dreams mean.. theyre a bit fucked up...
- manda
1 <3// |
[xXx]
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silentcriez
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2004 21 December :: 6.34am
:: Music: dont turn around x ace of base
when did the sun start to rise so early? and so fast? in a matter of minutes the once dark world is overwhelmed by a glow from the warm crisp sun of winter.. glistening over the snow reflecting a time of change and animosity..
on a different note.. i talked to anthony last night, i hadnt talked to him in a while i think hes gonna try n come to natickk sometime this week :-) yayyy
im so ready for break.. no matter how much sleep i get im still tired.. every day..ick people suck too.. but whatever i wont bitch
ill write more later..
- amanda
*were too far gone to make it work
your too empty now to make it worth
the trouble id see for breaking his heart
and why would i risk getting torn appart
were too far gone to be the same
too distant now to call you by name
were too different people with our hands at our throats
begging for love begging for more
were too far gone..*
1 <3// |
[xXx]
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silentcriez
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2004 19 December :: 4.39pm
someday
i was 6 years old hiding in my room
crying to myself thinking nobody loved me
so i made my own and got on with my life
i stepped out of the dark and into the light
i watched my mom walk away
after making me who i am today
for the good? for the bad? dont think ill ever know
but ill always think of her whenever it snows
where were you when i needed you
too fucked up to care
where were you? were you there?
too fucked up to care
(chorus)
sun comes out now
dry your eyes now
someday your time will come
and everything be alright
teenage girl left in control
with a selfobsessed dad and a case of depression
borderline life between health and pain
this try to be normal shit of a life drove me insane
in a dark room writing my life
thinking of how to press down my knife
maybe once its over maybe once its gone
theyll realize they cant carry on
where were you when i needed you
too fucked up to care
where were you? were you there?
too fucked up to care
(chorus)
im damaged, broken, bleeding and bruised
my heart is bolted wont let no one through
think about my mothers arms
too fucked up to care anymore..
maryjane and ecstacy
make for a wonderful disease
make me happy make me feel
like this emotion is somehow real
where were you when i needed you
too fucked up to care
where were you? were you there?
too fucked up to care
(chorus)
im different.. your different
its different lifes different
im too fucked up
i dont care
im too fucked up
to care anymore
3 <3//s |
[xXx]
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Cocopuff
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2004 18 December :: 2.13pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: Kelly Clarkson-" Since u been gone"
long timeee
wow its benn soooo long since i have written in here... well umm what have i missed... ohhh umm 11-10 which is a day i cant forget... and i went to St Martin with Manda which was funnnnn...i wish i was still there... other then that i havent really left neone who really reads this out on nethin special... all i do is work...then go to johns and go to school... i have no life lol wich is y i stopped writing in this thing... but i guess ill try and star writein in here again....
Lizzy
2 <3//s |
[xXx]
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