:: 2003 14 March :: 10.10 pm

i had sooooooooo much fun today. thumby, ally, and rach thank you sooooooooooooooooo much. really. thank you thank you thank you. really. i mean it. i had a great time. thanks

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:: 2003 14 March :: 2.46 pm

owwwwwww ow.
(thats not a bad thing)

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:: 2003 11 March :: 5.03 pm

every thing is so confuesing and strange. lately i have been thinking of "what ifs" and "i wish i hadn't said no" on the second one a part of me wishes that i hadn't said no and the other thinks its all for the best. it might not make sense but both answers seem right. i try not to dwell in the past. for me it leads to pain. even when i think about the good things, there was always something bad (in the non fun way) just around the corner. i have still been keeping a different journal. i have a few notebooks that i write in. but i have used the notebooks for other things, or i just haven't had the time to get to it. there is just to much to right. and i am afraid that someone might find them. i might turn it into a book. i would change names in it, however. it seems like it would be fun. but i dont think it would happen anytime soon. my guess would be when i am out of high school and collage. now that i look back there was someone that was always there for me, i know he didn't always want to listen, but he did. i dont know what i would do with out him. thanks for me there for me, more than i can say. you know who you are"thumby". heheh. in less than a month i will turn 16. and later that month i will get my lisence and a car. oh yeah go me. i have already promised someone that i would drive them to the track after school. i'm gonna go for now.

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:: 2003 8 March :: 10.49 pm

long day
at up at 7:30
got cini minis and a dr. pepper

from 9:30 to 2:30 i was working on the set for the musical.
for lunch a kinder, dr. pepper, fries, and a cheese burger.

didn't go home, went to greenville, got home around 4:20. left at 4:55 to go to a pot luck and my cousins play.
got home around 7:15

worked on more set stuff.
played on the computer.

talked to someone.
got kicked off by my sis.
got back on.
talked to my friend.
changed my journal settings.
then had to get off the computer to go to bed.
night

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:: 2003 7 March :: 8.56 pm

"guys are like roses.. have to watch out for pricks"

that saying seems funny to me. all roases naturally have prickers. but roses can also be very soft, sweet, and very romantic. i guess sooner or later the pricks will come out.

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:: 2003 6 March :: 8.57 pm

i looked into the mirror today. i didn't like what i saw. ugly, pain, meaningless, worthless, in other words......... me.

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:: 2003 6 March :: 6.54 pm
:: Mood: open-minded

strange
its seems strange, i have a hard time getting things out of my head, yet i recall them and write them down. other than dreams, writing i guess is a way for me to escape. from what i am not really sure. this week has been a blur to me. things come and go as usual. for me things dont stay to long. it hurts. it hurts that i learned to late, it hurts when a little kid calls you fat, it hurts when someone says they came over to see you but really to get pot from your sisters b/f, it hurts when you think you are good enough, it hurts to see someone that is beautiful that thinks they are ugly, alot of things hurt in this world. some people spend too much time in their flaws to see the good things, and some people dont take the time to see their flaws, which isn't always a good thing. we had a band thing today, i got out of a few things, it was interesting. we got all 2s, i had better go. i have some work to do. maybe a few phone calls to make, not sure yet. sad to say there isn't anything i am sure of anymore, there use to be, but i dont know anymore. its still there, but faint, and drifting. maybe it was time for it fade away, no matter how it hurts me.

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:: 2003 6 March :: 3.08 pm

given more reasons to believe what i have thought before

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:: 2003 5 March :: 5.29 pm
:: Mood: upset

its nice you know that people come to my house, they say they wanted to see me, but in reality they wanted to get pot from my sisters b/f. ARGGGGGGGGGGG

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:: 2003 4 March :: 5.04 pm

i have figured out why guys are dicks. there are two reasons. 1.) they have one. 2.) they play with them too much.

this does not apply to all guys, but a majority. there is a saying. "guys are like stars...only one can make your dreams come true" in my case. i dont have a star, i did, i lost it, will it come back, i dont know, is there another one? i dont know. but i wish i had my star.

3 comment? | ......

:: 2003 3 March :: 9.13 pm

alot has happen in the past 5 days, its kinda scary. if you want to know what happen, find me number, and those who would care enough to know would have it or know how it get it. or give me your email and i would email it.

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:: 2003 27 February :: 6.53 pm

yo saltar de nuevo es decir

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:: 2003 27 February :: 2.46 pm

hoobastank "running away"
the song i am listening to is a good one. mr. rogers died today. i have a concert later. jen i hope you are feeling better. later

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:: 2003 24 February :: 9.17 pm

i really like him, and i am so scared i am going to hurt him.

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:: 2003 24 February :: 7.14 pm

this is nuts
i am all giddy (heheeheh)
i just got a hair cut. and i had the cell phone, and russ called me. i was so surprised i started blushing. hehehehe not to mention "eye guy" is single again. the only person who knows who that is would be thumby(i luv ya justin).

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