angel_bob
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2009 16 May :: 7.35pm
Okay.
First week of NewJob went okay. It actually was a whole lot better by week's end. I am going to have to get over this not liking to speak French thing since that's my job now. Sigh etc.
I have a stupid NewJob story that happened on Wednesday and I wrote on Wednesday:
Today [Wednesday], we had a trainer come in and teach us Google Earth [which I TOTALLY already know and used when it first came out]. Before we started, he went around the room and asked our names and for us to say something in our language. He was French African.
Please tell me you are feeling the same thing I was: DREAD. PANIC. DREAD.
So we go around the room and everyone is saying five bajillion sentences and the other two French people have great accents and each have two paragraphs prepared already.
So he gets to me and all I can think to say is "ta mère est un pamplemousse." I can't call his mother a grapefruit! Who knows what connotation that has! I am probably calling her a whore or something.
What do I do? What do I do? OH! MAKE A JOKE! People love jokes! They will be so busy laughing that they won't notice that you say "Bone-jewurrr y'all"! Make a joke, Rachel.
Do I say my name in French or English? What did the Hope girl say? KAH-Rhen? Okay, so French.
"Je m'appelle Rachelle et je ne parle pas français."
Everyone is staring at me. Why are they staring? Did I miss an article? "Parlez-vous anglais?" No. No article needed. I said the "ne" but they can forgive that, I was nervous, I had to prepare a simple sentence. THIS IS A JOKE. I just said "I don't speak French" in French! Ha ha. Laugh already. No one is laughing. Okay.
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe...?"
Did they get it? Okay. He got it. And I got a little laugh. Ugh. Do these people have no sense of humor? Hope girl is staring at me. I'm not even looking at British guy. Heaven forbid he judge me. He's British. We left them for a reason. And Hope girl liked France. Screw them.
Reasoning doesn't stop the embarrassment. I can feel myself turning red. I am warm, it's warm in here. Ugh. I am a retard. Why did I think this job would be okay? I can no longer get away with the fact that I don't speak French.
I told them up front. I told them it was terrible! It's not my fault!
During break, I am furiously checking the internet as I have chosen sleep over Google Reader for the past week and have 97 unread items. I AM STARING AT THE SCREEN AND NOT WELCOMING CONTACT.
Hope girl turns around. TURN BACK AROUND, GIRL. DO NOT WANT YOUR HUMORLESS FACE LOOKING AT ME. AM ON THE INTERNETS.
"Bonjour, Rachelle."
Cut her off, cut her off! There's no way I'm speaking French to her and letting her judge me. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. I hate France! I hate French! I just told you I don't speak French.
"Oh, no. I cannot think to speak French today." Still staring at my 97 Google Reader items. Must label all interesting things.
"Oh. I was just... I was wondering why you said you didn't speak French."
I looked over at her. Oh, God. She is looking at me with pity and concern. Cut it off quick! No friends! No pity! No French!
"It was A JOKE."
"Oh." She turns back around quickly. The conversation is over.
Was I just a bitch to her? I think I was just a bitch. Whatever. She's not talking to me.
Ugh. Why don't these people get jokes?
At least they are all nice.
3 Bites |
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angel_bob
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2009 13 May :: 9.35pm
I don't like being a grownup. It is not fun. Ugh.
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angel_bob
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2009 7 May :: 11.49pm
I am done with college, kids.
On Saturday, I will graduate as a BA with a BA!
Drinks, guys? Friday or Saturday night would be best. Let me know. Let's party like it's 2009!
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angel_bob
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2009 4 May :: 9.40pm
I am doing my final French translation project (Due tomorrow although it has been in my possession for...over a month. I lost it for a while and was afraid I'd have to get another copy.) and my professor gave us the weirdest things to translate.
For some reason, he gave us all old articles about the dangers of these newfangled things called...wait for it...COMPUTERS. Mine is an article from May 1991 about keeping medical records (dramatic pause) ON COMPUTERS (gasp, faint in terror etc.).
My favorite part so far?
No, it's not the part about keeping our precious family history on terribly not safe things called computers.
No, it's not the part where they talk about this whole process being a conspiracy between pharmaceutical labs and an early Apple company called NeXT (who really is only in it because the technology is available and they want to be ahead of the game).
No, my favorite part is where the author rambles on about the things that are going to be transmitted from computer to computer. Things like...photos! And...X-Rays! And...EKGs! And...notes they took when we came into the doctor's office and we talked to the doctor! His biggest fear? The fear that closes the second paragraph? He fears that while computers are in black and white now, someday they may be in color. And they will be capable of transmitting all sorts of documents like calculations performed in spreadsheets that will be able to make 3D plans!
It's great fun but this article is really way too long. Yeah final project blah blah but I'd rather be done with this already. Stupid homework.
Never again after Saturday, kids! NEVER AGAIN!
I love you all.
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alastar
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2009 2 May :: 10.40am
We came across a conclusion of bifurcation in his cranial aporia. Scattered cognitive dissonance, unlike contrasting audible syntax, can lead to no beauty.
The collusion of the two works something like bent nails and unplugged television sets. "Two heads are better than one, though." I am sorry, but this binary efficiency motto was not created with situations such as dissociative identity disorder in mind.
And so we stumble upon this desert, this jungle again. Why must we always land here? I step onto a train of thought and I never arrive where I expect. I should start looking at the destinations, or mapping them myself.
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angel_bob
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2009 30 April :: 2.53am
Let me tell you about the not terrible at all things I am doing to show you that my life is actually awesome and not terrible at all.
Throw up throw up throw up throw up.
Last class tomorrow. Still have 4+ papers (best estimate has been 5-6) and one exam next week Thursday.
Cap and gown threw me over the edge. Puke puke. And of course people at work can't stop talking about how next Thursday is my last day.
I got that job by the way. Sorry, things got in the way so I haven't talked about it. Remember the one I talked about earlier? I had a French interview after my normal one and I guess it went well because I start the Monday after graduation: May 11. Ugh. Adult life is such a bummer. But full time, one and a half times what I'm making now plus benefits after 90 days is kind of nice, I guess.
I applied to another government job. This one requires a civil service exam. The next testing period is in June and since I have a real world job now, I have to choose a date during the weekend. Of course, the second I got home to set a date, all the testing times at GRCC were taken. Same with East Lansing. And Dearborn. So I could choose Auburn Hills, Caro or Sault Ste Marie. Guess which one was the only city with Saturday testing times available. That's right. Sault Sainte Marie.
So on June 6, I will be driving by myself to the UP for the first time. I have never been to the UP. I have never driven by myself for longer than two hours. And since the test is at 10:30 in the morning, I should leave by at least 6:30.
Is there anything awesome up there? I definitely am going to stop at the locks because I'm a dork and locks are awesome. And I hear there are waterfalls up there somewhere too. I might as well make a day of it. Let me know what I need to see and where I need to go. My camera is definitely coming with me.
Okay I just googled some waterfalls and not only are they a little disappointing but they are also basically in Wisconsin. So I definitely need some tips. Is Sault Sainte Marie a cool town? Should I just stay around there?
I'd like to say a little something here about stupid people but I decided to say this instead:
You have one life to live. You have a ton of time left to live it. (Don't you start in on me about how old you are. Look at how far you've come. You are still young, kid.) Are you really going to waste some of that time worrying about what might happen? There are so many things out there you could be doing. There are so many places to see and people to meet. Stop sitting around worrying about whoever the news is telling you is coming after you, hates you, wants to get you. Stop thinking about catching whatever they say is out there from paper plates or pop cans or popcorn or other people. Are you going to waste this moment of your life inside? Worrying? Scared? Live. Do things. Love. Hug someone, love someone, do something. Just breathe. In. Out. Live.
I have only been alive for 22 years. Do you know how much I still get to do? I get to get married, have kids, have adventures, have grandchildren, live a long life. I get to graduate from college next week with a bachelor's degree. Who knows what the next 22 years hold for me? I am excited.
I love you guys. For serious. I hope you all are doing okay and aren't too stressed out. Just keep breathing and put it in perspective. Papers aren't going to kill you. Exams aren't going to kill you. Do it and get it over with.
I love you.
6 Bites |
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alastar
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2009 30 April :: 2.01am
Propagate these cultures;
bacteria-
hysteria-
and claim the deserved respect. - - - - -. - - - - [it's allegiance, or it's vengeance,
in a honorably sclerotic society - - - - - - .. ---. - with the vengeful somehow justified
where does one turn? - - -- - - - -- - - - - -- - - - .- by the allegiance they forced upon us]
for truth in roots ripped from tooths by soothsayers. deracinate the evidence from gums and fill each cavity with cement. (aw fuck, just flood that entire gaping hole.)
these lies will not be spread;
like butter with tongues as knives.
like the legs of whores for a price.
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angel_bob
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2009 28 April :: 12.45pm
I hate April
Nick's coworker also passed away Sunday night. He was 35, divorced and had two daughters. He had a massive heart attack and never woke up.
The only good thing about this month is that it is almost over.
4 Bites |
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angel_bob
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2009 21 April :: 7.32pm
Update
Bad news comes in threes, right?
Nick's grandmother (the one on his father's side, the one his parents are staying with)'s best friend passed away Sunday. Four years ago on the 15th, Nick's grandfather (her husband) passed away.
So at 9 Sunday morning, we all got up and drove up to the house to basically house-sit while Grandma got out.
I got to see the house in daylight on Sunday. I don't know what was the worst thing to see: how small the hole is...the hole that used to be the house, the steps that led to the front door that are now cement steps to nothing, how little is left or the charred leaves and grass surrounding the house, the charred path carved out behind the house to the man who started it all, the ash that threatened to jump the road to take out another house. I don't know.
I think I was in shock before then because Sunday night it really hit me that it was all gone. And Nick's parents are spending their days making lists of everything they had, trying to remember everything they lived with, how old it was, where they bought it and quoting things that have no price. Things like Nick's grandfather's woodworking tools, the baby clothes, his great-grandmother's handmade quilts, his grandfather's guns, the bunk bed his father made, his mother's wedding dress, Jess' cake and all the pictures of everyone and everything.
I feel like I need to be helping out more but there's nothing we can do. I can make food, I guess. I can give hugs. But these lists, the insurance stuff, everything. I can't help.
When they start to look for places to live, then I can help.
Thanks for everything, kids. Love ya.
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angel_bob
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2009 17 April :: 4.08pm
Nick's parents' house burned down yesterday.
Fox17 (We were there when they filmed the news at 10. We watched this story at his grandmother's house while they were up at the house. It was surreal.)
WZZM13
Everyone is okay. Nick's parents were at work. His mother's sister lives with them and works third shift. She was asleep when the house caught on fire.
We went up there last night to see if we could help with anything. The whole house is gone. They went to buy some clothes and necessities but they have nothing. Aunt Jean saved the laptops and the dog. The stray cat that they feed occasionally is okay too.
Thank goodness everyone is safe.
It's so weird to see the house not there. We visited them for Easter and talked about what they would change if they had to build the house all over again.
Nick, Katti and Jess grew up in that house. His family built it themselves.
I am glad everyone is okay but I really wish it hadn't happened. They are staying with Nick's grandmother who lives down the street for now.
I feel like I should do something for them but I don't know what to do. We are just thankful that everyone is okay.
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alastar
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2009 5 April :: 2.41am
Opticcipital or Optical Apocalypse
The distinct edges and hard lines are blurring. They pulsate and quiver with an unquenchable need to escape their dimensional restraints. To shift, to fluctuate in size and shape. To annoy and drive the eyes insane*.
*Read more..
Their movements are subtly unmistakable.
They are tired of defining only the objects they envelop, and wish to be seen as entities themselves. They are sick of being the outlining structure that holds everything together and inside.
To inundate, and to invade
Messages on optic nerves
To flood them and to persuade
Chemicals to make it worse
Every rod and cone there is
Each retinal layer and lens
Will rot and finally perish
As my acuity descends
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angel_bob
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2009 1 April :: 5.37pm
I have an interview next Wednesday for a bilingual customer service job.
That's right, I am actually interviewing for a job using my major.
And I do not like it one bit.
I cannot speak French. What am I getting myself into?
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angel_bob
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2009 29 March :: 12.26am
concert yay!
Nick and I are going to our first concert together in April.
I am super excited because the band we are seeing?
It is Cloud Cult.
Awesome songs? Check. Live paintings? Check. Biodiesel-powered and solar-paneled tour bus? Check. I am super pumped.
I really wanted to see them in concert because they are going on a possibly permanent hiatus after this tour. And this tour celebrates the release of their documentary.
They are coming to GRap on April 14. Nick and I are counting down the days.
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angel_bob
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2009 26 March :: 1.39am
Recent Tweets
I am only this awesome when I can't sleep and I'm watching HGTV. The past couple of days have given me some good material too.
@Laure I concur. Got cancer? Have a coke. Need a smoke? Have a coke. Your dog's sick? Have a coke. Want a coke? Have a coke!
I am thinking of running for president but I am not rich enough to pay my own food bill AND save the world. http://tinyurl.com/da6dmo
My sister got a full ride (tuition only) to Smith College. She will hear from the rest next week. Then there will be choices.
I really feel sorry for the poor guy who had to look at reference photos and drawings to do Doctor Manhattan. That poor, poor man.
I have 4 dollars to my name right now. Payday could not come any sooner.
Unless I am retroactively getting money through some sort of time travel direct deposit but then I wouldn't only have 4 dollars.
Someone tell me why you need a chandelier in your bathroom. A chandelier ABOVE THE BATHTUB that just happens to be BY YOUR FIREPLACE.
This is all in your bathroom. The FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLAR FIREPLACE BY THE BATHTUB. ON THE WALL. It's not even warming the floor.
I did not catch the price on the chandelier.
Having a chandelier in your bathroom does not make it Parisian. It just makes it ugly. I am going to rate it STUPIDLY OPULENT, HGTV.
Just in case you want to see it. http://tinyurl.com/cva4dg I did not notice how claustrophobically cluttered it was on TV.
THINGS THAT AREN'T PARISIAN: Claustrophobia
Why would you wear a t-shirt about blaming your farts on someone else ON NATIONAL TV?
Yes, I cannot sleep.
Think of a new metaphor, onion layer people. Your house is not an onion and you are not an onion. A banana maybe. Shut up about the onions.
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angel_bob
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2009 25 March :: 1.19am
I am making a list of emergency places to live in case I don't get a job right away (which will totally NOT happen because I am totally awesome).
Our lease is up here at the end of June. If I don't get something before then, we'll be trapped in Michigan, homeless and living off only Nick's pay (because my work won't be able to keep me on after graduation and I don't want to stay there any longer than necessary).
Obviously a list is needed. Both to calm my nerves and to prepare for craziness.
I applied to a buttload of jobs earlier this week and I'm sending my transcript to one tomorrow.
Now it is just waiting and more searching.
I do not like this waiting part.
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