:: 2012 13 December :: 11.41 pm
:: Mood: content

I accomplished my goals as planned. I proved them wrong. For the longest time, I felt like I was never well liked. There were a couple of friends who did stuck around and was there for me from the beginning though. I talk to them sometimes and they encourage me all the time. I get encouragements from the folks here too. I find them to be decent folks. I don't care where I'll be living as long as I'm with people who accept and support me at what I do.

I stopped trying to impress anyone already. I let lose and be myself and somehow I'm a role-model now? Since when did people trust my thoughts and ideas? I'm still confused up to this point.

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:: 2012 12 December :: 9.50 pm
:: Mood: content

For some weird reason. I'm good at begging and pleading. That's something I do when I'm in school. I failed many tests and always convince my teachers that I tried very hard. I didn't understand the subject. Most of them let me pass because they thought I had "the potential to be successful." I never thought I had potential, but I get encouragements from many people. I guess I'm succeeding after all. Having an alone time helped me to think. I turned most of my thoughts into action. One example, losing weight. I succeeded. I lost over 20 lbs. It's all in the mind.

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:: 2012 4 November :: 10.47 pm

I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. - Bruce Lee

Expectations. I used to imagine what I want. Now I just live life with very low expectations. It's definitely easier for me to adapt to others, but I don't expect anyone to do the same. It's always easier for me to reach out and give what I have. The only thing I can do is give and not expect anything in return. I guess I'm content. Not wanting more than a simple life.

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:: 2012 18 October :: 4.18 pm

Exercise progress
I lost 10 lbs. for cutting out carbs and only eating vegetables, fish, chicken, egg, soymilk, yogurt and water. I try not to make it obvious that I'm not eating any white carbs. I don't want to come off as being too extreme or anything, but it really helps to not eat any rice. My round stomach turned flat. A week ago, I went jogging 7 days a week for 30 minutes each day. I knew it was too much, but I wasn't tired so I pushed myself. Then I realized my tongue was hurting and aching so much, I had to take a break 2 days. I had to reduce the exercising. Today I'm going again so I won't be behind. My tongue hasn't healed completely, but I drank a lot of water so it's better than before.

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:: 2012 8 October :: 11.43 pm
:: Mood: embarrassed

I never liked exercising, but for some reason now I can stand it. I'm good at pushing myself over the limits because that's how crazy I am. In 3 weeks. I will lose 20 pounds. I will do it fast. I HAVE to lose weight before the resort is open. I feel embarassed being fat. I really do.

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:: 2012 6 October :: 12.12 am

Changing my bad habits
I had already decided to stop wasting my life on being fat and unfit. The decision is made and is set for good. I start off with a short exercise list already. As much as I dislike exercising, I want to change my bad habits for a change. I've been living this lifestyle since 16 years old. It does no benefits for me, plus I become weaker as I get older. So I decided to try something new and stick with it. I'll give myself time until next year - my birthday. Instead of thinking useless thoughts, I want to do benefits to myself to kill time when I'm bored. I'll use exercising as a cure for depression, sadness and loneliness. Then I won't be so depressed.

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:: 2012 4 October :: 10.18 pm
:: Mood: okay

A change of lifestyle
I've came to realize that I should stop thinking useless/ridiculous thoughts. I have alot of things to do that needed to be done. 1) Create 20 more menu items. Design the plating. Write work descriptions.

2) Change my diet. I always question myself why I'm a bit overweight/chubby, but I did nothing to solve it.

How I will change:
Lose weight.
Eat healthier, but also eat less.
Cut my meal size to half a portion.
Eat only 2 meals. (2 small meals)
No more eating food after 5:00pm.
Drink lots of water when I feel hungry.
Snack on cucumbers and carrots if I'm hungry.
Stop eating sweets of all kinds (cookies, ice cream, sugary drinks).
Take a little bit time each day to do squats in my room after work.
The list can go on.

Tourism season starts next month. That means I get automatic exercise. Work, work, work. When I work my ass off until my next birthday + change my unhealthy lifestyle. I should be in better shape before my next birthday. This is my real life goal. I counted. Today is day 10. I will keep on going. There's no reason to be fat anymore.

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