Okay... so, here I am - to vent.

I'm really pissed off right now. Just had a nice little argument with my father. Every conversation that starts off well always ends in complete disaster. I don't think we've had a conversation in atleast two years without it turning into an intense argument.

My mother is too afraid to stick up for me at the time... she waits until later when he can't hear her telling me that I'm right or that he's made the same mistakes. She will not stand up for me... it's so incredibly disheartening to me when she does that.

The part that really pisses me off is when they talk about me in the other room. They speak of me as if I'm not present. I'd much rather have someone tell me my faults and mistakes to my face.

I'm just too sensitive. Anything that goes wrong just makes me feel so replaceable and useless. I shouldn't be so responsive to everything. I turn into a complete disaster when I'm here. It's not great to see, I'm sure. I don't like to be around any of my good friends on weekends after I've been here because I always feel like I'm taking it out on everyone else and I don't want to do that.

I know I ask for it... all of it. I leave myself open to it. I just like to complain. I feel the need to complain... it's what I'm best at doing.

Anyway, I suppose things are going okay otherwise. Classes are alright.. boring, but alright. I really like my suite-mates. They're the best. We have parties. I also like some of the girls from the softball team a lot. I really think I'll form some good things out of those friendships, atleast I'm hoping to. I went to the football game today. It was good, the first quarter was anyway. Not too much college news, still really slow.

Anyway.. I need to go scrapbook. Later, I'm going to a party with Evan... maybe. I'm not excited about it because it requires driving on a gravel road. Those aren't for me.

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