Everything happens for a reason

:: 2004 9 December :: 5.17pm

I hate all this. it couldnt end soon enough. im not happy.

:: 2004 27 November :: 3.47pm
:: Music: the used

im terribly jealous and bitter.

:: 2004 22 November :: 7.57am

I've come to the conclusion that im coming out of the hole i was in. more of a ditch than a hole really. yes. perhaps i'll be happy for an extended period of time. perhaps.

also, it dawned on me that these days that just keep passing are slowly making me older. you too. i hadn't really thought about it before. i'll be seventeen shortly. that seems so old. i want time to stop.

:: 2004 19 November :: 8.08am

they gave us back our freedom
:)

i can travel and entertain again! YAAAY!

:: 2004 12 November :: 12.32pm

Happy Birthday, Kate!!

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:: 2004 10 November :: 4.53pm

i don't about any of your shit anymore. its not worth my time.
stop pretending.

on another note, mother suspects i may be depressed. haha.

:: 2004 4 November :: 5.51pm

i should be dead. im a little disappointed that im not. do you concur?

"music is worthless, unless it can make a complete stranger break down and cry." -Frou Frou

:: 2004 31 October :: 2.16pm

"i wear black on the outside 'cause black is how i feel on the inside"

:: 2004 27 October :: 6.18pm

there is definately a me and a "them". i am not a part of everyone else.
everything just has its own way of making me ... .

"there's a world outside of you"

:: 2004 27 October :: 5.55pm

why does all this seem so familiar? because its so terrible?

:: 2004 24 October :: 2.48pm

this place is a prison.
it gets a little worse every day.
or so it seems.

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:: 2004 24 October :: 12.00am

i love coming home...........but i hate being here.

does that make sense to anyone? because thats how i feel. i'll try to explain :

when i walk in my house i get the feeling that im wanted/needed by someone. and its not just my cat and dog and usually little brother that run up to me and hug me or want me to pet them (being the animals, not Jon). its just the general aura i get from stepping in the house..........I LOVE IT.

but, staying here always messes that feeling up. but yeah, enough random thoughts for the night.

yesterday was fun. emily and i hung out all day after school.
we went to see "hero" at the star. it was pretty good, not what i thought it would be, but not bad.

after that we went to the haunt. but, instead of listening to my good judgement, i listened to emily's directions and we ended up in allegan. yeah......dont ask how, or why, but yeah........ it was fun though. she felt really bad about it, but i just laughed it off. i figured if i didnt i'd be pissed. but yeah, i didnt really care. so, we went to the haunt after the "detour" to allegan. um.... the haunt was okay, not what i expected it to be, but it was still pretty cool. um..... yeah that was about it for yesterday.

went to bill's party today, it was alright till people were being dumb with guitars........

rueben, michelle, waller, jenny, dylan, and i went to arby's to play trivial pursuit when we left. fun stuff. its not something i'd usually do, but i figured "what the hell" and went. it was pretty cool

oh, and at the party erin lost like 20 bucks. she thinks someone stole it.......so i hope she finds it or finds who did it. she was getting pissed, so i hope everything works out for her

but other than that didnt do anything today.

yeah, i have to work tomarrow, which sucks. but oh well, i need the money. i can open my availibility up again because soccer and marching band is done. so thats good. um...... yeah, thats about all i have to say now......... uh...... yeah, im gone.

-me

:: 2004 21 October :: 4.46pm

everything has been done so many times, everything has been made into a cliche.
even the way i feel is cliche. its so demeaning.

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:: 2004 18 October :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: PISSED
:: Music: tom petty

okay, i've heard rumors about me, that really pisses me off. let me set this straight.

RUMOR: jenny steers and i made out at a movie theater.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: we did hold hands........no kissing of any kind was involved and no touching of anywhere inappropriate was to done.

so, unless i can make out with someone while JUST holding hands then NO we did NOT make out.

thanks for hearing me out........and next time stupid people start rumors, dont bother to listen, cause you know its just lies and other shit.

-me

:: 2004 18 October :: 2.31pm

now im going down, you're not even around.
i love the way you write. it makes so much sense.

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:: 2004 17 October :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: energetic

okay, so, i feel so much better about myself right now!!!

okay, no one really knows, nor needs to know, but me and a certain girl are NOT going out. for the few of you who do know, please dont bother to put down any names, cause there's no need to

but now i dont have to worry about anything, i can continue life like i do and maybe hook up with a friend from rockford that i havent seen in ages and not feel bad about it.

well, whatever, im done. most people probably think im a whore, but whatever. if you want to know about it, just im me and i'll explain.

chao,
-me

:: 2004 17 October :: 2.09pm
:: Music: saves the day- in reverie

slowly torn apart. from hugs to hand shakes. from "i love you" to "whats up?" such a terrible loss.

:: 2004 17 October :: 11.59am
:: Music: pedro the lion

its not my place. its just not.

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:: 2004 16 October :: 12.15am
:: Mood: grand
:: Music: mix, but at the moment tom petty "you dont know how it feels"

never have had one, never will
okay, so my J.V soccer experience is over. yippee skippy (said very sarcastically). now i have to deal with the varsity coach and varsity players who dont think i belong on varsity......lucky me.

oh, yeah, yesterday we lost our soccer game.....2-0. it sucked. i felt like shit, and right away some kid kicked my bad knee. BUT, within the first 4 minutes of the game i took a kid out, but the stupid fucker had to come back in 10 minutes later. but yeah, its done and over with

okay, another end of things..... marching band is done!!! im so happy!!!! i hate marching band, the only reason i do it is so i can play concert. but whatever, again, its over with.

so, tonight after the game a bunch of band geeks (and jacqui) decided to go to mcdonalds. yeah, that was.......um, interesting. then we all thought that a movie was a good idea, so we went to the movies (exept jacqui and steph, they couldnt). so yeah, it was a really fun night.

um....... what else happened???? yeah, i dont really know.....

okay, well, since all of my email accounts have been closed i only re-made two

cowsgomoo8806@hotmail.com

and

organizedchaos06@yahoo.com

my messengers are still the same, so, um.........yeah, i guess thats it