i know im not alone in the way i feel

but how many other people feel this way

how do they cope

just one foot in front of the other?

it feels that simple but is it really?

i am losing my mind but i'm terrified to make a change

i settled into quicksand and i don't know if i can claw my way out

when i started at liberty it was a shining beacon of hope. i finally made it. i finally am going to make enough money to pay my bills and see the doctors i need. 7 years later and all i see is a dark moldy ship crawling it's way along a roiling black sea cannon shells marring the hull and we are all furiously bailing the toxic water out. i cry at work.i try to be a cheerleader because everyone is so buried in misery. and we just keep bailing while our muscles tear from the ligaments and the ligaments from the bone. and they tell us to smile "it could be worse". but hell is different for different people. and i can see it in everyone's eyes the trapped feeling they have. this suffocating doe eye expression claustrobia overtaking them the paper walls are tumbling on us and we and getting lacerated in the avalanche

how do we all keep going? how has no one snapped yet?

it's just too much.

Where does my heart lie?