if i close my eyes and imagine laying in my favorite field of clover and sunlight with you, will you ease my pain?

if i hold out my hand in the dark will i find yours there next to me?

i wish i could cuddle with you again, in the early morning hours in your leather chair. could i forget all that's happened since then? can we sit in the golden montana sun and snore our lives away? i miss you so much. i wish i could have hugged you one last time.

why are things always so fucking painful? why are people so terrible? why does everything turn into a burning pile of charred ash and cinder..

i just want to sleep forever. i feel so dead inside.

Where does my heart lie?