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piiCk me up now , ii need you SOO bad .
**
lovethehibiscus
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2004 24 June :: 1.13pm
:: Mood: wondering...
:: Music: sick sad little world - incubus
it's the end of the world as we know it
you know we are all doomed when Pepto Bismol has it's own little dance.
andie andie oxenfree***
start it all 0ver...
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lala91
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2004 23 June :: 8.29pm
hella good mood!!
hella.. i just sed that to liz and she started flippin out.. "hella, i love that word!!" lol.. iunno i just started sayin it todaii and iunno where i got it.. hmm.. i love lil miss moore and she has an icon that says i love kayla.. and i hope she keeps it for awhile!! b/c we have a promise and we cant break it! calli. we should promise our promise!! lol. chris is **** lol. i luv ya n all the kiddies who somehow get mah journal (?????) lol
-x0
1 dr0p everything |
start it all 0ver...
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lala91
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2004 23 June :: 8.20pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: me singing the darkness-- "i beleive in a thing called lo0ove.."
chris is **** lol calli!! love ya babe!! and you need to f'in cALL mah ass on like sundaii!! ya heard!?
-x0
2 dr0p everything |
start it all 0ver...
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lala91
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2004 23 June :: 5.25pm
I woke up this morning
shaken from a dream;
you were there,
alive,
and all the pain of the last five years
had never occurred at all;
no funeral,
no messages written on the casket,
no crying myself to sleep
every night.
my first thought of the morning
was,
what was your last thought
as your life drained from your body?-
your existence becoming a statistic,
your future claimed
by the chaos of life and
the noose around your neck.
The medical examiner claimed that
most suicide victims
instinctually
scratch and pry at the noose
in their last moments;
She found your skin beneath
your nails –
and chalked it up to
impulse,
to a natural human response
to danger:
the fight for self preservation –
for life.
I wonder
if you changed your mind
when it was too late;
if the faces of your family
and your friends
flashed in front of you;
if the beauty of life
and the strength of love
at that moment
seemed like
enough
to live for,
but apparently nooses do not ask
“are you sure?”
as they claim your
fourteen year old life.
I wonder if visions
of rainbows
danced in your mind;
sunsets over the ocean;
your wife walking down the aisle
to say "I do";
your baby being born,
his first piercing scream
awakening a part of your heart
you didn't know existed...
I wonder if you realized
you weren't ready yet,
seeing your life's potential
waiting
to be fulfilled
with the fullness of life
and the sheer
imperfect beauty of it all -
but it was
too
late?
I shake my head to clear these morbid thoughts,
far too gruesome for
such a beautiful Sunday morning.
I will continue my day
in your absence,
approaching five years
I have wandered through life
without you at my side.
Like usual,
I will see someone
with sandy hair and
turquoise eyes
in the coffee line,
and I will double check
just to make sure
it is not you.
For some reason,
hearts do not accept
the finality
of death.
then I will wonder
what you would have looked like
at nineteen,
what beautiful roads you might have
found yourself driving down,
windows open,
music up,
and free from the demons
you fatally fought with
five years ago…
how much more beauty
my life would have had,
if you had stayed.
but these are morbid thoughts
for a gorgeous Sunday in June,
so I push you from my mind
and throw the covers back
to begin one more day
without you –
five years have taught me
how to do so,
but haven’t shown me how
to forget you
or how to understand
that your bones
are becoming dust
in a coffin…
that you are now
nothing
but memories.
start it all 0ver...
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lovethehibiscus
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2004 23 June :: 2.24am
:: Mood: happy :D
:: Music: by the way - rhcp
the tee ideas from ydeeps & anir
(aka myslef and rina)
this is from the sleep deprived brains of ours.
in a 70s fontish thing..
Front:
Andie's Rollerdisco
-Afros Required
-Dancing Skills Optional
and it will have a picture of a roller skate on it and a disco ball
and on the back it will have a guy with an afro and 70s clothes pointing at you and the caption will read "only YOU can be the life of the party"
Front: Got Buffalo Wings?
back : a drawing of a buffalo flying away
Front: Altoids: dont let them make ya kill a man in reno for them
back: "WHERE ARE YOURE SPIRIT FINGERS DAMMIT?!?!"
there is a little picture of a girl with a stick and the caption will say "youre lucky your behind the glass wall"
a picture of a squirrel on the front, with the caption of "1-666-evil-squirrles"
picture of a frigde with the little marks that means its moving and the caption will say "tv dinner avalanche ahead coutesy of the freezer ghost"
a picture of a pinecone with the caption of "smell that cinnamon christmas. " on the back: "conspiracy?"
ALL-(noun) 1. a substance used to clean clothes. 2. an evil conspiracy-maker. 3. arch-nemisis of the green knight.
on the front is a poorly drawn picture of a girl with a frown and tears and a broken heart and it will say love is a... and on the back it will list
gift...this will be crossed out
wondorous thing...crossed out
bitch....crossed out
pain in the ass....crossed out
hassle....crossed out
salami sanwich with pickles...crossed out
4 letter word...crossed out
way of life...crossed out
battlefield
we should make a shirt that says a little dab will do ya
or have a picture of a wolf howling at the moon "the terror of our elementary"
i love dash
i love mookie
i love the SG
---------------------
well that is it for now
who knows whatever crazy psycho things may be created by us in the late night?
cause i sure dont.
Good good bye, lovely time
Good good bye, tinsel shine
Good good bye, I'll be fine
Good good bye, good good night
-jimmy eat world
andie andie oxenfree***
1 dr0p everything |
start it all 0ver...
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thoughtskill
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2004 22 June :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: b0uncin 0ff the walls again
wow...
VISHWAAAAA!!!
<3
---> leave a comment kill me with a sledge hammer and like it !!
9 dr0p everything |
start it all 0ver...
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Rina
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2004 22 June :: 3.19pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: the small print - muse
i'm bending the truth
Looking into oneself has become cliche, in a society where writing down your innermost thoughts for the world to read is a common occurence.
Some people take time off, others hold people at an arm's length, while others hold on tightly to whatever they can hold on to.
Because somewhere in a kitchen there could be a woman stopping the dishwasher, her yellow-gloved hands in the soapy water, gazing out the window, realising that she always wanted to be an actress but had become a mother too soon. On the other hand, there could be a spinster in a rocking chair, crying over the child she had aborted when she was young, feeling more alone than ever. And maybe, in a hospital somewhere a doctor could be holding up a newborn by its ankles, marvelling at the miracle he had just performed. Elsewhere, who knows, a college student could be cheating in an examination, to meet his parent's expectations.
As for me, I lie in bed till 2 in the morning, writing about my passions and dreams in black ink, thinking back on past experiences, present circumstances, and the mystery of the future.
Thinking of past lives, of threads and stars. Of Universes in one's palm. Of portals into the soul, of lost convictions, postcards and passports, of jumping from one mountain to another.
Self-introspection leads me into viewing my Life in some basement, a slice of dust-light from the projector beaming images, episodes, and sketches of the quilt I'm slowly stitching together.
And I watch my Life so far with a smile, bittersweet, and sometimes I laugh out loud, and cry. Most of the time I keep quiet, watching the slideshow in awe. Everything I've ever held close to my heart, I watch.
Elementary notebooks filled with summer drawings. The cresecendos and lulls of my favourite songs. My first paperback book. The sting of a palm slapping my cheek. My mother's laugh. Watching a plane take off from behind an airport window, shielding my eyes from its silver brightness.
Fingers intertwining. The taste of tears, saying goodbye at the airport. The shock of hearing about someone's cancer. Seeing a wedding. Beautiful sunsets I've collected, midnight walks. Slipping stones into my pocket.
Looking back, looking within.
5 dr0p everything |
start it all 0ver...
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bugga3
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2004 21 June :: 10.45pm
Hey today was ok i guess the only hightlight of my day was talking to garrett thats always the hightlight to my day nothing else makes me happy unless im with him or if im with kayla because she always puts me in a good mood.. But shes gone soo im kinda bummed.. But ill live... i finally get my hair done and died and cut and everything it will be a suprise to everyone u will see.. lol.. I went to Robbies today and shawn was there too.. Its was fun but being with them made me miss garrett so much more... Because they all act the same and i was with them and i was being myself and it was really cool and now i miss Garrett more than anyone can amagine.. Im going crazy.. Hey will be home in 22 days and yes i have a count down.. i week and 6 day and 2 hours and 15 min and 35 sec.. no lol j/p not that seriouse. lol.. well im gunna go write in my journal and go to bed.. Good-Night everyone..
Luv ya
-x0x0x0-
B@iley
1 dr0p everything |
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thoughtskill
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2004 21 June :: 10.11pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: worst december
`Im sick today =[ .. Kae markus nick n i were soposed to go to ft myers beach . . . but kaela didnt wake up till 4 s0o then i was g0nna g0 t0 green wellz with nick mark n daniela but i didnt feel g0od i have a fever n a head ace =/ but h0pefully ill be better s0on =D..
im gonna hang out with steph s0on..
shes one of my best friends but we have only reason hung out just me-and-her twice ..
the 1st time i met jeremy really liked him but that turned out horrible one of the worst things thats ever happened.. like 2 weeks later i almost got raped, killed because of him .. the second time i met nick .. one the best things thats ever happened.. =]...
mm s0o i wonder wut will happen this time =]
My heart is b a r e l y beating
All I want to do is lie in bed with you
All I really ever n-e-e-d is you
All I got to do is g~i~v~e up all I have to be with you
All I want to do is to be close to *you*
All I want to do is to be [ n e x t 2 y 0 u
]
All I want is you to g-i-v-e u-p all we had to be
I can’t remember why I’m here
3 dr0p everything |
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lala91
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2004 21 June :: 9.34pm
:: Mood: _blah_
:: Music: hands down--- dc
hey
im in ky right now. i got in yesterday. fun shit. um me n beckers got in at like 10 am yesterday.. got home. loren came over. and then kelsey and we rented feardotcom and had pics developed of me devin chris and becky at the bowling ally.. more fun shit!! lol. um diz woke up at 2 in the morning yelling at us b/c we were cheering. lol. we went outside and did builds. of course i was the frickin flyer. um. threw my backhandspring. becky is the bestest spotter in the world. kinda got my scorpion back. lol. havnt done it in like 3 years. lol. ummm then today we went to the mall and i bought $130 worth of stuff in 3 hours!!! :(.. but realli cute stuff!!!!!
n then loren kelsey becky n i went to lazarus ( a furniture place in therr kick ass mall) and we were like jumpin on the mattresses. evn more fun shit. n omg andy looks like SO different.. he walked up n talked to me and i didnt evn kno who he was at first. he looks like a dam abercrombie model!! more of them bailey!! i keep running into them. lmao. ne ways.. i just wanted to say that me n chriss pony is better then calli and mikes cow. lol. im playing girlie!! i love you. but mah pony is better. like 11 ppl sed so in your journal. lol. and that wasnt me. ne who. loren was like screaming catalyst in the mall.. screaming!! lol. and she found out that i can moon walk so she like asked random ppl if they wanted to see me. dum ass. lol. n now im in becky's room, shes in the shower. so ima go.. but ne body who wants to come to brookwood tomorrow we'll be therr. love ya kiddies (sorry andi, i stoled it) lol
-x0
4 dr0p everything |
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thoughtskill
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2004 20 June :: 7.13pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: `* Sum weird s0ng
I could die from the words that you say..
Im HOME !! =]
I g0t h0me .. friiidayy and kaela came over and we watched some weird ass m0vies l0l - passi0n netw0rk , sex monster, l0rd of the g- strings lma0 * we went to bed round 7 am nick n markus w0ke us up at lyk 2 and told us to come over .. we were way 2 tired s0 we didnt c0me 0ver till 6iish .. saw nick for the first time in s0o long =D i missed him s0o0o much ! ..we hung out at marks for a while and watched m0vies ..markus n me were lyk kiddingly hittin each other n he acted lyk i gave him a bl0ody n0se n everyone was yellin at me n i felt so0o0 bad n then he said he was kidding and he was fine =P then went to nicks n g0t thr0wn in the p0ol .. saw my lil sister kayla tattor tot !! but she left today for ky so im not gonna see her for a while =[... we went h0me r0und 11 and went t0 sleep @ lyk 4 n today we jus sat around and went int0 gay n lesbian chatr0omz .. l0l ..
2 dr0p everything |
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thoughtskill
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2004 19 June :: 7.15pm
:: Music: mark moaning lol
hey hey hey
Hey britt itz daniela.. ha ha ur sittin on the bed wiy nick! yay! ur back <3..
i hope to c u alot ova tha suma until school starts..! u need 2 get into mariner!!!
i hope u have fun at ida tho! i love u!!!
xOx Daniela
1 dr0p everything |
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lala91
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2004 18 June :: 7.58pm
Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is b l e s s e d,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and d-u-l-l,
these hearts they [r][a][c][e],
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.
My hopes are so h~i~g~h,
that your k.i.s.s. might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
s/o/ /I/ /d/i/e/ /h/a/p/p/y.
My heart is yours to fill or b u r s t,
to break or bury,
or wear as j*e*w*e*l*e*r*y,
which ever you prefer.
The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay (e)(n)(t)(w)(i)(n)(e)(d) here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so d u m b.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can **get some**.
My hopes are so >>high<< that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or b u r y, or wear as j*e*w*e*l*e*r*y,
which ever you prefer.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever [r][e][m][e][m][b][e][r],
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the DIM of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we r-e-a-l-i-z-e-d it's so late
and this walk that we s.h.a.r.e.d. together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I l'e't' 'y'o'u' 'i'n'.
And you stood at your door with your h`a`n`d`s on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you m-e-a-n-t it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
7 dr0p everything |
start it all 0ver...
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lala91
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2004 18 June :: 7.11pm
omg. me and chris's pony turned gothic.. lol. and we're not sure if its a boy or a girl. her his it's name is bibbles.. if any of you are interested in taking part in paying for our pony support please call me!! ;)
1 dr0p everything |
start it all 0ver...
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lala91
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2004 18 June :: 5.53pm
:: Music: dc- hands down
why do so many people talk shit to get attention?to be annoying? well i hate people like that....thats all they do its like there life or something>> >I< >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends thats all they do is talk crap bout me n try to get shit started with me n my friends or worst BOYFRIEND but i wont let that happen ill fight till the end cuz im determined.......that sounded corny but i hate it when people who talk shit doubt me.......britt knows how determined ive become these past weeks.... so im gonna fight......un till i win....but g2g im bored lol gonna go do sunthin
^^^^ callis entry
ok..
so you hate me.. and you hate my friends.. and your gonna fight??
alrighty.and another thing.. you dont like being talked about. well. >I< >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends. that whole fucking entry is about me. and that is talking crap. and dont put in your lil journal that im the one talking. your mouth is never shut
^^^ my comment
calli then sed that she wasnt talking about me
kayla not everything is about you!!!!!!! that journal isnt for you ok!!!! i have a life....n its not all about you i dont n=know why you think it is....i dont care wut you n your friends do.....so leave me alone n stop jumping to conclusions when you dont even know the story....NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU n i wasnt talking crap about that person i was stating an opinion....like i told brittany i think your sweet n pretty so why would i start stuff with you when i dont even talk to you ne more....hmmm w/e i gotta go to my life guard camp>>>> if you want ill just stop "trying" to be friends with you mk you can have wut you have always wanted....
^^^^^ callis next entry
the fact that you kinda do talk about me. and a lot of ppl tell me that.. i "jumped to the conclusion" that that entry was bout me. who else do you hate and all her gay friends.. talking crap and "stealing your boyfriend".. i thought i was the only person who was trying to do that.
^^^^ my comment
so see you are trying to screw things up with me n him....w/e
^^^ callis reply
i thought i was the only person who was trying to do that.
^^^ thats what you always say. not what i think. but you do. and i was the one telling you how much he talks about you. would i be saying things like that if i wanted to screw you guys up. if you think i can do that.. your insecure.
^^ my reply
calli, you didnt get it. you always tell me that im trying to steal chris."try to get shit started with me n my friends or worst BOYFRIEND" and since you sed that entry wasnt about me.. i asked if therr was ne one else trying to "steal" your b/f. once again.. IM NOT FUKKIN TRYING TO STEAL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
start it all 0ver...
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Rina
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2004 18 June :: 1.51am
:: Mood: bored
O Fortuna,
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut descrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem,
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors inmanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
status malus,
vana salus
semper dissolubilis,
obrumbratam
et velatam
mihi quoque niteris,
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis
et virtutis
mihi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria;
hac in hora
sine mora
cordis pulsum tangite,
quod per sortem
sternit fortem
mecum omnes plangite
2 dr0p everything |
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lala91
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2004 16 June :: 9.36pm
becky wants to put a hammer through someones head ... me tooo
grrrr. grrrr. grrrr.
someones journal entry is making me mad. how would you like it if someone sed that they hate you and your friends?and therr reason was that they talked crap about them? and what if they. as they were typing this little entry put >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends.. i have a question for all of you. and you can comment if you want.. wouldnt that be considered talking crap????
later
3 dr0p everything |
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Rina
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2004 15 June :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: tomorrow i'll be you - thursday
a king's morale is like a hurricane; empty, but for the force of its gale.
oh, writing time again.
what now.
well. i slept at lyn's house, and went to bed at 5:30. the same day i was dragged to the mall by my mother to find pants, with no luck. instead i got a corduroy jacket. score.
yesterday i went shopping with lisa and got clothes, a purse, and a cd.
a two-disc compilation of the 2004 warped tour.
today i went to the mall again and found one pair of pants.
anyways, im having a hard time with myself. i want to talk to everybody, do everything i can before i leave.
but i also want to be alone to think and read and create.
there was marching band camp today. it was only 1 and a half hours and we practiced music. which is to be expected. hardly anyone was there. only like 11 people showed up.
i want for one person to see everything of me and like it.
just everything. at my best and at my worst. and everything in between.
sigh. wishful thinking.
oh man. i was really creeped out when we were at burdines. we were walking through the men's department to get to the exit and it was deserted, man. deserted. one random person would walk by every 7 minutes. approximately.
i had the strangest feeling too. but i couldnt quite put my finger on it.
almost like you know what something is, but are lacking the terms required to describe it.
its eerie.
back to reality. the fresh market at bell tower is a conspiracy to steal souls to sell on the demonic black market. that store is way too perfect.
at least, thats what me and carrie think.
start it all 0ver...
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Bugga3
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2004 15 June :: 11.36am
Im at Kristis and Kellis right now... FUN... We watched a scarry movie called around the ben ... Talked to Ethan Last night for the first time in like forever... Then I talked to Robbie like always... Wow guess who called me yesterday morning Garrett we talk for a lil while because he called me so early in the morning and woke me up... Yup he doesnt know any of the bad news yet though so... I will wait till he comes back to fill him in on that.. OO ya and supposibly he thinks hes got my rapped around his finger we will see how that goes whenn he comes back too... I miss him so much though along with Robbie too... Well i cant wait till i go on vacation but then again i dont know how lkong i will be gone with out Garrett..... At least i know it wont be a month to put him trought this he probabaly wouldnt care thought.. lol... Guys what can i say.. lol ... well im gunna go because me kelli and kristi are going to go to my house.. And Nick might take us somewere.. KK luv ya all
B@iley
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bugga3
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2004 13 June :: 11.58pm
:: Music: Usher
Pitty
WOW where should i start.. Well last night i cryed my eyes out at Kaylas because if shit i herd about Garrett again. I dont know what to believe literly this is everything i have herd so far.. I herd from about 12 people that he said at his party that if he does get head from me in the first two weeks that he would break up with me..Then theres he is a player.. Then there break up with him before you fall in love.. Then theres well he said he didnt want a long realtionship what does that mean to you... Wow then theres hes just going out with you to get some.. witch pretty much summs up all the shit or is it even shit ..is it the truth or is it not its like my life on a fucking f-ing trivia game but you know what everyone is loosing.. i want to know the truth does he want me for me, or me for whats in my pants, or me for what i can do in his pant....SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME .. Well then me and Kayla went on a walk and my tears dryed up because she always makes me feel better.. ALWAYSwell wow here we ago again tonight just like every other i cry and cry until i run out of tears or a fall asleep and hopefully dont wake up this time.. g2g luv ya B
4 dr0p everything |
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Woohu.com | Random Journal
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