painttheskywithstars
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2003 29 October :: 4.03pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: Pilate - 'Melt Into The Walls'
And i'll lay with you tonight for all the stars behind your eyes and im free, free to fly through your mind..
45 minutes till i have to be to work. I wish i could wear jeans to work. I went to three seperate cd stores to find a Pilate album, no such luck. They're so amazing. I want to get a few new cd's for my Michigan trip. Big news- I just found out last night that Sarah McLachlan's new cd "Afterglow" comes out on Tuesday! Her first cd in 6 years. I'm gonna fall over when i hear it. I love herrr, that made my night hearing about that. i cant wait. I've been drawing some stuff lately, potential tattoos. Not really even for me, just tattoos that i think would look cool. If i draw one i fell in love with, maybe i'd consider getting it. I know that i want to get a tattoo of my husbands name on my wrist whenever i get married. But i was thinking.. when you get married you put more pressure on eachother and thats why people have affairs and fight more and get divorced. So maybe i'll just be one of those people that's with someone for like 10 years before they actually get married. Unless of course, i just KNOW the person i fall in love with is my soul mate or something. Meh, i dunno. Im off to work.. peace <3
8 clever lines |
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painttheskywithstars
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2003 28 October :: 4.00pm
:: Mood: kinda sad i guess
:: Music: Pilate - Into Your Hideout
Nine
driving home from quizno's today, i caught myself counting the days since the last time i saw you...
but the last time i saw you, i dont think it was really you i saw
your eyes were much colder
the steps you took were frigid
and your smile was the fakest i've ever seen.
i guess it's times like going to quizno's without you, that cause your memory to swim it's way through my mind (no matter how hard i struggle to drown you)
but i love quizno's.. and i have to get used to going alone.
i miss the one i was a part of.
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painttheskywithstars
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2003 28 October :: 1.08am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Relient K
Awww, i love love <3
I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your
romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming
tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants,
Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do
think that love can overcome anything. You may
be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in
the right place. You've probably got one of
those relationships where proper nouns have
been replaced with "Snookums" and
"Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness
overload.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
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painttheskywithstars
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2003 26 October :: 6.22pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Longwave - 'Tidal wave'
I am everything you wanted, i am everything you wanted, i am everything you need.
I bought the longwave cd, its really good.. i highly suggest it to those with a taste for laid back vintage-style mellow music. Goin to Michigan in a week, i cant wait.. i love winter. I hope it snows. Havent spoken to the ex in a week. It hurts everytime, but it hurts less when I think about him with another girl. After all the pain he's caused me, and all the times hes apologized, i find it almost disgusting that he could do it all again. I guess im the one who shouldve opened my fuckin eyes. For all of this im better off alone.. i love music. i mean it takes everything you feel, soaks it up and becomes a remedy in a beautiful form. Like the line in my subject, it makes me feel powerful and confident against someone who is always knocking me back down when i get up. Kinda like.. fuck you, i am everything you wanted and you'll never get it back... bitch. :)
6 clever lines |
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painttheskywithstars
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2003 25 October :: 1.18am
:: Mood: over it.
:: Music: Something Corporate - I Won't Make You
Sometimes memories of a love gone wrong should be destroyed as soon as possible.
Sitting alone again, this time she didn't do anything wrong
He's left her in the cold again, she's drowning in her songs
Taken by this pink ocean in the sky, she can't help but ask herself why?
Somehow she's keeping it together, though the pieces are so loose
She could break at the thought of his smile, but after all this what has she got to lose?
The sun sinks down to the bottom of the earth
She can't stay there forever
But oh wouldn't it be nice
Not wondering what he's doing or whose lips he's kissing..
(this is the last time)
The first star of the night, it's shining so bright, begging for her to wish on it's light.
She closes her eyes and kisses her hand, and blows it to the star to toss his memory to the wind
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sendmemoney
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2003 23 October :: 1.16am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: destiny's child - amazing grace
i think on chilly autumn( or is it winter yet ?) nights , people start feeling a little more emotional and think a little less straight . conversations get started that are regretted almost immediately afterwards , at the first sign of hesitant responses and purposefully slow questions . the x clicks you out like nothing ever happened , but in reality , it's not that simple . you lie down and close your eyes and videos play in your head that you have trained yourself to ignore , and that conversation you clicked out of runs painfully short and repeatedly in your mind . the fifty dollars bills lying on the floor next to you are a sign that that conversation never would have succeeded to begin with , and a reminder of how fickle friendships are , and to not let it happen again . but at least they'll help you get your mind off of things and stop the neverending parade of suppressed thoughts and memories .
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2003 22 October :: 3.46pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: lucky boys confusion - lbc
only 39 more ounces to freedom ...
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2003 21 October :: 1.13am
:: Mood: period.
:: Music: bouncing souls - ole !
OKAY.
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2003 20 October :: 11.57pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: eve 6 - here's to the night
i don't think i should be this lonely because technically , you're still mine , but sometimes it feels like you're slipping out of my grasp through a series of unfortunate coincidences that keep causing miscommunications or no communication at all . okay, i knew what i was getting myself into , and i knew it would be worth it . i just didn't think it would be so damn difficult every time . and yea , maybe i'm getting a little more quality time with my other best friend or my calculus homework , but you're better than either of those and i'd rather fail calculus and talk to other people only before 9 than go for weeks at a time without hearing your voice . when the only thing i have to hold on to of you is my computer background , and i guess the occasional polite conversation transmitted electronically in 10 point typeface , it starts to feel like it'll be forever before i can look into your eyes or let you "just look at me" . i'll buy you a new phone . i'll fedex it to you with my letter that contains nothing i haven't already told you . and i'll start counting down until 2:50 p.m. , because i never get out of stupid calculus even one minute early . but at least i'll be well-prepared for class .
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2003 4 October :: 4.31am
:: Mood: satisfied
:: Music: spooks - swindley's maracas
nine hours + hot boyfriend + thirty dollars = hottest ink ever .
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2003 24 September :: 4.38pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: bad religion - sorrow
*round three* ... what can i say ? i'm a sucker for broad shoulders and brown eyes .
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2003 23 September :: 12.01pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: GI Joe ...
she was tired of lying alone in the middle of the busy sidewalk . murmuring the words "please God , forgive me for what I am about to do" , she grabbed his arm and attempted to rise . he resisted slightly , and when the blood rose in the back of her throat like it had so many times she knew she was too weak to win , she let go , causing him to stumble . he looked back at her in disgust , and , realizing she had failed so miserably , she settled back in her place , closed her eyes , and lay alone once again . she never even had a chance .
2 clever lines |
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2003 23 September :: 12.01am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: third eye blind - semi charmed life
seriously , i just cleaned my bowl and now i have to christen it . i need a fucking name . seriously . i don't know if anybody reads this anymore , but i need suggestions .
5 clever lines |
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2003 22 September :: 11.20pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: bad religion - sorrow
my horoscope could not possibly have predicted this evening's events , and my mood pointed at entirely the opposite . because of unrelated matters , i turned to you at my low point and TO GET YOUR POINT ACROSS , or for whatever reason , you reacted in a manner so predictable that i kept thinking i should have kept my hands tightly clutching each other or anything other than the keyboard , really . but no , i shouldn't have . i should expect you to wipe my tears with something others than the sting of your fingerprints on my cheek , and i shouldn't expect to have your back to me when my heart is on my sleeve . you should realize that although my feelings flow a little more freely , they are feelings nonetheless , but i shouldn't say that you SHOULD anything . the simple fact , and let's face it with our heads held high , is that you DON'T , and there's little to nothing i can do about it without inciting another argument consisting solely of your point of view .
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2003 18 September :: 3.50am
:: Music: bad religion - evangeline
i ask him sometimes even though i shouldn't and he tells me he does and to stop asking him and that i worry too much .
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2003 14 September :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: contemplative
i'm sick and fucking tired of having to re-do my makeup five times a day .
1 clever line |
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2003 9 September :: 3.40am
:: Mood: none
:: Music: pink floyd - dark side of the moon
my throat hurts from choking back these words . my chest hurts , too . why ? oh . no big deal . i just have a little bit of a broken heart ... nothing major . i can feel the prickling behind my eyelids so i'm keeping my eyes closed so that nothing unwanted falls out before i go to sleep , saving the torrents for the first few seconds so that the suffocation is as painless as possible ( assuming , of course , that the pain is purely physical . which it is ) .
1 clever line |
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2003 4 September :: 1.35pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: the vandals - my girlfriend's dead
there's nothing better than blasting andy c. as i pull into my neighborhood at 6:45 a.m. , past all the kids waiting at the bus stop for the bus to take them to school , and knowing i get to go to bed when i get home . i fucking love college .
1 clever line |
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2003 29 August :: 1.03am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: marilyn manson
you can run as fast as you want , but you can never outrun nick lachey .
stop rehearsing alcohol and start performing narcotics .
1 clever line |
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2003 26 August :: 2.17am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: the yoko theory
is it me ? ... i have no idea what just happened , or why it keeps happening , or why i let it keep happening .
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2003 16 August :: 4.34am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: dashboard confessional - plain morning
in my rearview mirror i see a pair of headlights that i am sure belong to no other than you , because who else is out on lyons at 4:10 a.m. ? my foot won't press any harder on the gas , though , even though the speed limit is 40 and i am going anywhere from 32 to 37 miles per hour but my brain is sending signals to MOVE MOVE MOVE faster and faster away from the headlights approaching from behind because i don't want you to see me like this . until you see me again , every time you think of me , i want you to remember me as composed , optimistic , even detached , in my goodbyes -- not this emotional wreck with bloodshot eyes and song lyrics for every situation . somehow you're next to me now and i mouth the words i can't do justice to before pulling up slightly ahead of you and moving into the left turning lane extremely in advance so the door panel blocks your view and i peel out to just get away before this explosion of ruined eyeliner runs down my cheeks ( continues ? ) . i hate you for doing this to me but i've never been so much more in love and wednesday is coming soon but there won't always be a wednesday and i don't know if i should appreciate what i have or curse myself for falling for a long-distance relationship . all i do know is that for once , i can arrive home with tears in my eyes and not have to explain or compose myself . i can sit in my room and think about anything but you , rather , lie to myself , and hope you're driving carefully because five days is long enough and even though i'd wait forever for you , i don't want to have to .
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2003 15 August :: 2.33am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: hot hot hot hot hot hot hot records
i have never been so much more in love in my life ... except once . <3
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2003 11 August :: 3.37am
:: Mood: tired
the powerlines cut the moon in thirds , and at first i was disappointed , but the streetlights diminish the glow anyway .
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2003 9 August :: 4.36am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: lauryn hill - that thing
i love you .
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2003 8 August :: 3.43am
:: Mood: thoughtful
it's a scene straight out of a movie - first , the hesitant company sitting through an argument , nervously approaching to announce their departure . then , the awkward silences through what would normally hold an abundance of playful banter . finally , i am resting on the wall and you are yelling back your infinite excuses with not one mention as to how i have a valid reason to be upset . my left hand clasping my right wrist , wringing it like a wet towel , like childish indian burns , only this isn't a game and i wish you'd understand that , but you won't . you never do . it's always my over-reacting and my girlish sentiments getting in the way of reason . you jump from one justification to the next , thinking that two excuses are better than one , but when there's more than one , it makes them just that - flimsy excuses . nobody ever wants to be fighting . nobody wants to be angry , and nobody ever wants to feel unloved . nobody has ever felt more so at this moment than i do right now . it blows my mind that you can walk away so easily and i'm sure that soon , you'll say "come outside" or something about my eyes or my smile and it'll be over and i'll be fine except for the constant stream of consciousness i scribble out at three twenty six a.m. or the one running through my head when your hand grazes my ear as you tuck my hair behind it and i feel like you're a stranger . before i can realize what's happening , you're in your car and i'm in my room debating what's too personal to post and whether or not your reading this , like i know you will , will change anything or if you'll understand or if you'll just create some criticism in the back of your mind or if you'll actually say it , and my bets are placed on the latter . i don't think you'll understand because you haven't in the past , and your direct comparisons involve things that are nothing alike . your wide range of defenses contains so many errors that i never realize i made , or never made at all , and i can't believe i actually listened to it for the time before you turned your back on me , more than just literally . this is ridiculous . i thought we had more than this . i still do . but maybe that's just my reading too much into things again .
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2003 7 August :: 3.25am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: taking back sunday - ghost man on third
ms. mary mack ( i haven't really heard a mac like this in awhile )
you lead and i will follow . even though i have to be up in four hours , this dance is far too sweet for me to abandon it so soon . i can hardly breathe in your embrace but it's still not tight enough , so i'll wrap my arms around you a little harder until i'm out of breath and gasping for air . if you trip and fall , you know i'll be here to catch you , but i don't think you will , because i knew from the start that you are a better dancer than me . regardless , i'll close my eyes and let myself fall ( in love ) , because although it's a risky plunge , i know you won't let me get hurt .
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2003 27 July :: 12.03pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: deviant - exodus 2000
i'm so excited .
i'm so excited .
i'm so ... scared .
hahaha . whooo . finally legal . wanna fuck ?
3 clever lines |
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2003 24 July :: 12.48pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: sublime
life is too short
so love the one you got
cause you might get run over
or you might get shot
never start no static
i just get it off my chest
never had to battle with no bulletproof vest
take a small example
take a tip from me
take all of your money , give it all to charity
life is what i got
it's within my reach
and this sublime style's still straight from long beach
it all comes back to you
you're bound to get what you deserve
try and test that
you're bound to get served
love's what i got
don't start a riot
you'll feel it when the dance gets hot
lovin ... is what i got .
...
let the lovin , let the lovin come back to me .
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2003 23 July :: 4.30am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: sublime - mary
your hand on the nape of my neck sometimes gives me a rush - maybe you can even call it a spasm ? - that i think you can relate to in the privacy of your own room , lying in bed , a pillow under the nape of your neck . it's the saltysweet mix of power and love , of frustration and trust , of understanding and comfort . there's nothing better than erratic stories and half-smiles at strange angles , except discouraging telephone conversations and self-opening doors . i wish i could explain it better but it's hard to form sentences because i keep stopping to do other things , like ignore the longing that's forming in my fingers and toes and my legs that have nothing to wrap around and the arms that have nobody to hold .
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2003 14 July :: 2.45am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: postal service - such great heights
she's the introvert .
it's 2:22 a.m. and it'll be at least another hour before i get to sleep and maybe it's the heat or maybe it's the heat between your body and mine as we lay entwined on a single bed and even though that was at least an hour ago i can't get you off my mind .
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