Leeder

Leeder

:: 2003 30 October :: 10.44pm
:: Mood: listless
:: Music: Eels- Mr. E's Beautiful Blues

The elephant won't forget what its like inside his cage...
i feel inspired to write something a bit longer tonite, than my normal single-sentence quips. I read other people's journals and it makes me wonder if my babblings might actually make sense to those who read them. if anyone reads them...

I saw a play tonite...really it was no good but it made me think. it was a religious play, but thats not the part that got me thinking...
there was this girl who was in a class of mine last semester, and she was in it. i didnt think she really did all that great of a job, actually she didnt seem to fit her role one bit.... but even so, and considering the play as a whole was awful, i was sitting there thinking "god, i wish i were her right now". i wish my parents hadn't told me that being a theater major was ridiculous. everyone in their right mind knows that i'm miserable in the business college, and that's why i'm working my ass off for a second major that holds some merit for me. but i really couldnt see myself happy. not like this.

great sex isn't really a theater production. yes, i enjoy doing it. yes i am glad i decided to be in it. but its like having just a taste of what theater used to be for me, and knowing i'll never get the full flavor of it again.

facing last night took a lot of strength that i didnt know i had. i guess that's what friends do for you, right? its been a long, long time.

and i'm tearing my hair out again, thats depressing. maybe i should go see a doctor...someday.....

I had something in me...i can't get it back, or get rid of it either...

to end this post with something really deep...

I could really go for some pizza right now.

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 29 October :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: overwhelmed
:: Music: Jewel - Don't

Too much going on... too much to do.

Gotta keep focused.

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JediBumblebee

:: 2003 29 October :: 12.18pm

I feel rather boring and uninteresting as of late.

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 27 October :: 1.39am
:: Mood: tired

So Stef and I just got back from seeing the Eels in Ann Arbor at the Blind Pig. Good show... may have dragged a little at the end, what with the 3(!) encores, but overall, I enjoyed it a lot. E has a lot of talent, and charisma from what I discovered tonight, and the Eels have always been on of my favorites because they have managed to stay under the radar and consistently put out very solid stuff. If you've never given 'em a listen, do so, it will probably be worth your while. Anyway, just wanted to share... goodnight world.

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 25 October :: 9.31am
:: Mood: disconnected
:: Music: Moby - Guitar Flute & String

Jeez, I guess I finally know how my mother felt for all those years...

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JediBumblebee

:: 2003 24 October :: 2.26pm

fav. feel good song: Ben Kweller- Sha Sha
fav. upbeat song: Dressy Bessy- BlinkTwice
fav. cruising song: The Ataris- Boys of Summer
fav. love song: Ben Folds- The Luckiest
fav. guilty pleasure song: DMX- X Gonna Give It To Ya
fav. tribute song: ???
fav. song to fall asleep to: Andrew Bird- Weather Systems
fav. song from a musical: Cell Block Tango- Chicago
fav. song from a movie: Nine Days- I Love You
fav. disney song: Little Mermaid- Kiss the Girl
fav. song to dance to: R. Kelly- Ignition
fav. song lyric-wise: Iron and Wine- The Night Decending

music survey brought to you by BZOINK!

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 24 October :: 1.36pm
:: Mood: thankful this movie is almost done
:: Music: Still watching The King of Comedy...

fav. feel good song: Badly Drawn Boy - A Peak You Reach
fav. upbeat song: T.A.T.U. - Not Gonna Get Us
fav. cruising song: Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows
fav. love song: Nine Days - I Love You
fav. guilty pleasure song: Celine Dion - It's All Coming Back To Me Now
fav. tribute song: R.E.M. - Man On The Moon
fav. song to fall asleep to: Moby - My Weakness
fav. song from a musical: Come What May from "Moulin Rouge"
fav. song from a movie: Steelers Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You
fav. disney song: Can You Feel The Love Tonight from "The Lion King"
fav. song to dance to: Missy Elliott - Get Ur Freak On
fav. song lyric-wise: Radiohead - Everything In Its Right Place

music survey brought to you by BZOINK!

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 24 October :: 1.18pm
:: Mood: restless

Act your age: 21 (so close!)
Born on what day of the week: Tuesday
Chore you hate: Cleaning the shower
Dad's name: Scott
Essentail make-up item: I got nothing...
Favorite actors/actresses: Tom Cruise/Julianne Moore
Gold or sliver: Gold
Hometown: Wyoming
Instruments you play: None... yet
Job title: Student/Customer Service Associate
Kids: None
Living arrangements: Townhouse w/ two and 1/2 other guys
Mom's name: Lynne
Number of socks you own: Maybe 12 pairs
Overnight hospital stays: What about 'em?
Phobia: Roller coasters, heights
Quote you like: "You can't have the sweet without the sour" Jason Lee, Vanilla Sky
Religious affiliation: None
Siblings: One stepbrother and one stepsister
Time you woke up today: Around 10am
Unusual habits: I dunno, I've got a few
Vicious thing you've done: Rawr
Worst habit: Cracking my knuckles
X-rays you've had: Last ones were at the dentist
Your favorite season: Summer
Zodiac sign: Scorpio

[the alphabet survey] brought to you by BZOINK!

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 24 October :: 12.56pm
:: Mood: bored

Last Cigarette:: Six months to a year
Last Alcoholic Drink:: Too long ago... couple weeks maybe
Last Car Ride:: Took Stef to class an hour ago
Last Kiss:: Last night/This morning
Last Good Cry:: Few months ago, can't remember why
Last Library Book checked out:: ???
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:: School of Rock
Last Book Read:: Reading Red Harvest right now
Last Movie Rented:: Watching The King of Comedy as we speak
Last Cuss Word Uttered:: Fuck, fuck, fuck, I would assume
Last Beverage Drank:: Diet Pepsi w/ lunch
Last Food Consumed:: Chicken Tenders and Dinner Rolls
Last Crush:: ;-)
Last Phone Call:: Stef
Last TV Show Watched:: South Park
Last Time Showered:: Last night ;-)
Last Shoes Worn:: Stef's sandals
Last CD Played:: Kill Bill soundtrack
Last Item Bought:: Rented movies from VHP, does that count?
Last Download:: ???
Last Annoyance:: Stef's power going on
Last Disappointment:: Getting a ticket at Stef's apartment
Last Soda Drank:: Diet Pepsi w/ lunch
Last Thing Written:: This... and this...
Last Key Used:: Stef's apartment key
Last Word Spoken:: "key"
Last Sleep:: Umm... last night, what a stupid question
Last IM:: Stef
Last Sexual Fantasy:: Stef
Last Weird Encounter:: Stef (starting to see a pattern here?)
Last Ice Cream Eaten:: Stef... no, wait, Mint Chocolate Chip, yummy
Last Time Amused:: This movie (King of Comedy), but unfortunately it's not doing a very good job
Last Time Wanting To Die:: Can't remember, it was a few weeks ago
Last Time In Love:: Take a guess...
Last Time Hugged:: Thank god for "copy and paste"
Last Time Scolded:: Does spanking count as scolding?
Last Time Resentful:: ???
Last Chair Sat In:: Stef's
Last Lipstick Used:: Umm, I have chapstick, does that count?
Last Underwear Worn:: The ones I have on now...
Last Bra Worn:: Let's not go there :-) j/k
Last Shirt Worn:: Offspring band shirt... still wearing it actually, eww!
Last Webpage Visited:: Before this one... Woohu

"Last" Survey brought to you by BZOINK!

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JediBumblebee

:: 2003 23 October :: 11.48am

yay! kicked some serious ass on my marketing exam!

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 22 October :: 3.36pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: the Muzak of the LHC computer room

EEE!!!
AHH!!! I'm ecstatic. I love talking to people from my classes for the first time! New friends, eee! Sorry, trying to come down here. So. I thought for a minute my professor was going to bash American Beauty though (even though he kind of did), and I thought I was going to burst. Seriously, I can't remember getting that involved in a class debate (the subject was fate vs. free-will) in sooo long, and it feels so good to have that spark back at least for the moment; the fact that I care about something enough to get stirred up about it, but not get totally stressed out by it. And after class, just shooting the shit, mocking people, and sharing similiar experiences... it was just nice to feel involved with other people again, le�'s leave it at that. I do enjoying being alone again, but I realize that I'm the happiest when I have someone there to share something with.

I've grown up a lot this year, and it's been very reinforcing to see all the progress that I've made in recent memory. I once again feel that I'm in control and past my maturity level in relation to where one should be at at this point in their life. I'm more secure in knowing that everything will work out, as it always has. Most of it, it's just nice to not having to worry about if my car is going to make it from point A to point B. It makes the day go by a lot smoother.

There's been a passion towards life the past couple of days, and I'm not sure what to attribute it to, but I'm enjoying it.

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