TaoMan1121
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2003 22 September :: 3.42pm
:: Mood: odd
Post people, post! Damn it! I'm bored... oh, look at my new woohu icon, it's pretty and shiny. ::touches it:: SWEEEET!
Hmm... I need a big word. How about spurious?
spurious • \SPYOOR-ee-us\ • adjective
1 : of illegitimate birth : bastard
*2 : outwardly similar or corresponding to something without having its genuine qualities : false
3 a : of falsified or erroneously attributed origin : forged b : of a deceitful nature or quality
As in, "Spurious is the word of the day." Durp.
My birthday isn't until November, but I think you should sent me letters and gifts and alcohol nonetheless. Yeah, that's the ticket.
::sings:: Goin' crazy with the cheeze whiz.
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TaoMan1121
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2003 18 September :: 5.20pm
:: Mood: confused
I missed something... no, actually, I think I missed a lot.
I thought I'd been doing things relatively correctly in my life as of late. Was I just being naive?
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JediBumblebee
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2003 17 September :: 10.57pm
do i have anyone left to depend on?
anyone to turn to when I have a bad day?
I'm starting to think its all a lost cause.
I can't speak up anymore.
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JediBumblebee
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2003 17 September :: 9.01pm
JediBumblebee: are you 18 yet?
exitboot: Nope.
exitboot: Why?
JediBumblebee: curious.
JediBumblebee: soon, isnt it?
exitboot: Mad sex?
JediBumblebee: totally
exitboot: Haha. You and me?
exitboot: Anyway, Oct 5.
JediBumblebee: you know it.
exitboot: We might as well give it a go.
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TaoMan1121
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2003 16 September :: 3.55pm
:: Mood: indifferent
:: Music: the incessant drone of the Brown computing lab
Lion King!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!) brought to you by Quizilla
You are Jack's enemy. You are too worried about your looks to be in Fight Club, so Jack beats the shit out of you and calls you a panda. Bye bye Mr. Poser. Haha
Which Fight Club character are you? brought to you by Quizilla
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TaoMan1121
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2003 15 September :: 3.50pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil
There are so many developments and complications and updates in everyone else's lives right now, mine seem trivial. Things are good though. Yet...
The impermanence of life and everything in it has left me with no direction. I've come to grips that I can turn anything on or off with enough effort, that I can convince myself of anything or make myself feel however I want. It's nice, in a way, but when I sought control of my life, I don't think I wanted this much. Any one thing in my life is only as important as I will allow it to be. What's the point in being truthful and giving and righteous and good when there's no absolute truth to fight for? It used to be the concept of love, and I still believe in love more than anything else on this earth, but I've shown that I can turn that off as well, so I'm left with happiness and even at times, contentment, but there's a hole there, and I don't know what to fill it with. There's nothing really left fighting for...
Don't get me wrong though, I'm still having a good day.
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JediBumblebee
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2003 7 September :: 9.31pm
:: Music: Bright Eyes- Bowl of Oranges
That's why I'm singing baby don't worry
'Cause now I got your back
And every time you feel like crying
I'm gonna try and make you laugh
And if I can't
If it just hurts too bad
Then we'll wait for it to pass
And I will keep you company for those days so long and black
And we'll keep working on the problem
We know we'll never solve
Of love's uneven remainders
Our lives are fractions of a whole
But if the world could remain within a frame
Like a painting on a wall
Then I think we'd see the beauty then
We'd stand staring in awe
At our still lives posed
Like a bowl of oranges
Like a story told
By the fault-lines and the soil
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JediBumblebee
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2003 4 September :: 11.29pm
You represent... desire.
You sure are motivated. You have a definite knack for getting what you want. You always put your own interests before those of others, and you almost always find youself being satisfied. Though you have determination, try some compassion. Putting others first occassionally can get you even more satisfying relationships.
What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla
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JediBumblebee
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2003 4 September :: 3.54pm
i am still so lonely.
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TaoMan1121
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2003 4 September :: 1.22pm
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: David Gray - Knowhere
i don't know where i/i don't know what i'm/supposed to do now/keep it all inside
Things are not turning out the way I had anticipated so far this semester. This bothers me.
I've been debating lately whether it's truly worth it to strive to be the most altrustic and giving that you can be, because in the end, the guy next to you is likely not to do the same. And when you don't believe in a higher power, it makes it that much easier to just give in. Then your conscience and your ambition takes over and you tell yourself, "you're better than that." Works for a while, until something challenges your self-esteem and the doubt starts again. And you take a step back from the situation and try to understand how you got from point A to point B so quickly.
And you just want to shut it all off.
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TaoMan1121
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2003 3 September :: 5.52pm
:: Music: Natalie Merchant - Wonder
You know what's worse than having one class with Kevin?
...
Having two classes with Kevin. Fuck my luck.
He's sitting here in the Honors College lounge. He just left and started walking towards my class.
Damn.
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TaoMan1121
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2003 3 September :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: background music in the LHC computer room
So I say this is the most loving way possible, but it's so nice to just read/gossip about the drama other than actually experiencing> it. If any of you guys need a break from the madness, you know where to reach me.
So I go to Greek Tragedy and I sit down and I hear "Hi Jason" and what do I see when I look up... everybody's favorite First Fox tenant from last semester: Kevin. ::cue inward DOH!:: Not to mention that the prof. is also a nerd, but in a harmless, not-going-to-try-and-rape-and-hug-you-ifheseesyouonthefloor kind of way. Anyway, I was sitting there thinking maybe I was being too hard on the guy, but then the prof. asks if anyone in the room had seen "Clash of the Titans," and I swear, if you had seen this boy's hand shoot up into the air in near-ecstacy, you would have just shook your head. I feel bad bashing him in a public forum, but if he's reading my journal, I've got even bigger problems then I had originally thought.
I think my priorities might be askew... I'm not sure, I should make a list.
Jason's Random Journal Thought: Why the HELL are people studying already... nobody likes an overachiever. :-P Andy, you're not included in that since I saw you studying yesterday. Special dispensation for you.
Drew (my other roommate) still hasn't spent a night in the place yet. I'm not complaining, I like having a bathroom all to myself, but it just kind of seems like a waste.
Well, I've wasted enough of your time.
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TaoMan1121
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2003 2 September :: 1.34pm
:: Mood: refreshed
:: Music: Supertramp - Cannonball
So, I'm in Kalamazoo with no internet, no cable, a great apartment, and seven gaming systems. I thought I was going to die for a couple days there, but now not so much...
Random Journal News Break: There's a guy in the computing lab who's the spitting image of the tech guy from Vanilla Sky. I almost want to jump up and scream "TECH SUPPORT!" really loud but I'll resist.
Please come visit my apartment, it's awesome and I love it and once Comcast hurries up and gets out here, it will be complete.
Went to the first day of psychology practicum today, that went very well. For all of you who don't know, I'm going to working with autistic kids at the Croyden Avenue School off of Drake this semester. I'm excited, I think I'll get a lot of experience and all that good stuff.
I still agree with Ricci's feeling from a week or two ago: something big is going to happen soon. I'm not convinced it's going to be bad anymore, but just something big.
Well, my CD is over and I have to go to class. More updates when the internet gets going at my place.
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JediBumblebee
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2003 26 August :: 12.21am
I just cant ever be fucking happy.
this always hurts but i cant stand being this lonely. i think i'll just kill myself.
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