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2002 16 August :: 3.51pm
:: Music: my mom's voice on the phone
... one person down today, two to go. but Kevin hasn't called yet... and we still need rides to and from Ben's. grrrr.... reason number 89798 i need a liscence and a car.
...so i'm coming home tomorrow... home... heh i don't even know what i'd call home anymore. i'm coming back to ftw until school.... god school in a week. i start shaking when i think about it. greaaat. i need some sleep.
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2002 16 August :: 12.42pm
See Which Member Of Weezer You Are Here!
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2002 16 August :: 2.24am
:: Mood: sleepy
look at your left hand
hot guys come in abundance in stlouis... i've decided. after we went driving with Nathan, and he was so gorgeous.... and i smoked a djarum in the tcs park... we got dropped off at allies at like 10:30. brian had called like 4 times and they had broken down from a flat tire in webster groves. so they couldn't come over right away. not until like 11.. they finally came and i ran out to give brian some stuff i owed him and i looked funny as hell. pajama pants... tank top bra... i run out like a madman and they're all standing there.. brian, ben, seth and kevin... ahhh... just looking at me. i was really hyper so i just started talking and i got introduced to seth and kevin, the ones i didn't know, and took an immediate liking to kevin... gorgeous boy he is... longish curly brown hair, tall, tan... gorgeous smile and blue eyes... ahhh... ok so he's going to be a junior at SLUH and i made fun of that, and he put his hand on my leg.. ohh.. so i sat and talked to all the guys for about 30 minutes and then they had to leave to take Ben and Brian home... i invited Kevin to come back and swim with us in like an hour and he said he's call when he could. and sure enough, at 1:15am, kevin and seth come walking up allies driveway to sit with us behind the poolhouse for awhile. we talked a lot more- although i don't think my friends liked it too much. .... but he left at like 1:30 and we came inside, and i was pretty hyper... ahhh hot boys ... we made plans for tomorrow and now i have 3 different people to see on my last night here. shit...
what is it with me and brian's unknown friends named Kevin?????
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2002 15 August :: 6.37pm
:: Mood: morose
memory
....ahhh.... i love stlouis. i think elyse is having fun here. at least i hope so... i think tonight we might go back to the creepy crawl with Nathan and see some bands and go to allies afterwards. ... my mind is running about 9879 mph so i can't think of a train of thought.
tomorrow we're going to my brothers house. hoo-ray for him. you know what that means....
everything seems so surreal here. like its not really happening, or like i'll never really go back to ftwayne. especially with elyse here. almost like she's visiting me at my house or something. i don't know. after i had marie today, we went to the zoo and besides the fact that it was sooo hot, it was fun. elyse had never had dip 'n dots before so we sat and ate those on a bridge for awhile, and people-watched. there's more interesting people at the zoo then there is animals.
ahhhh i still need to call aaron and clayton and brian today.. i should probably go do that. ahhhhh... the only bad thing about this week is that, after everyone falls asleep, i've been staying up so late and waking up early.. automatically. i'll go to sleep at least 2 hours after everyone else and then wake up at least an hour before they do... ehhh i need help...
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leftofcool
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2002 14 August :: 1.17pm
so here's the skinny...
last night i went and saw 'sex and lucia' at the tivoli. it was scandalous yet very very well done. in spanish, so you have to read the subtitles. but if you go with an open mind, I highly reccomend it. smoked a few cloves on the way to the theatre in the spirit of summer. yum.
in about 45 mintues angie is going to pick me up to go to the 'mandatory senior class meeting' but she will be here 15 minutes early so we can smoke out first. no way you can go to school during the summer straight up. well kids, go see sex and lucia. peace out.
1 freedom fighter |
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2002 14 August :: 12.54am
:: Mood: giggly
:: Music: My ears are still ringing...
The Hand Me Downs. Ya gotta love it. So Me Sarah, Lil, Elyse, and Clayton all went to the Creepy Crawl tonight to see Steve's band play. They were ok. For being their first gig they were actually pretty good. Then again i was kinda busy staring at Brandon the whole time...ahh wow. So i offically love Lil and Sarah and Elyse. I hated them at the time, but now they're definitely my favorites. So they decide they're going to go talk to Brandon. So Lil, being the bold person she is, walks up to him and says something like, "hey, can i have your number for my friend Allie?" So i'm like about to die and he just points at me. So Sarah drags me over to them and he just hugged me. And again, i thought i would die. Just right there, fall over dead. So Lil ends up getting his nuumber for me. And they left, but i missed that part so i was just kinda standing there confused. He had gone to talk to someone real quick and when he came back he was like where are your friends? And i said i thought they had left, and i guess i should go too. So he waved bye but then just like held out his arms. And so he hugged me and for the third time, i thought i was gonna die. So i turned back around after i had walked a few feet and he just gave me this wonderful smile. Hehe. So i'm a little giddy at the moment. But i should really sleep...they're making me do cheerleading shit tomorrow...and i have to run, and do volley ball, and basket ball...argh...till then.
1 freedom fighter |
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2002 13 August :: 2.46am
:: Mood: high
:: Music: norah jones- come away with me
shine down on me
i'm just confused why i'm not asleep.... 5 hours for the last two nights. last night i stayed up after the last person fell asleep at 4... didn't go to sleep til 7am... it just didn't feel right shutting my eyes.
allie comforted me last night after the other two feel asleep... she really did. but she also made me think more, which is dangerous in the early morning hours on a night like that. ehh sigh, sometimes i don't even know anything i'm talking about.
..i'm in love with norah.... but its almost 3am, and i think i might be the only one up again. ahhhh i wish someone else were here.... grr allie knows who i'm talking about
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2002 13 August :: 1.04am
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: New Found Glory~Sonny...with Norah Jones in the background
Ahh today has been really slow, but really fast at the same time. Everyone finally started moving a little after 2 and we just sat around for another 2 hours or so. Brian and Ben showed up around 4:30 and we were all still in our pajamas. It started raining so we all went and ran around in the rain for a while, that was fun. Brian turned 16 yesterday and he has a car now...which is always a plus. It's a nice car too...hell if i know what kind...well, i know it was red.
Oh, Steve and Paul called me today and they got a gig at the Creepy Crawl for Tuesday night. I was so excited for them. I really hope something really good happens to them, like they make it big or something. I love Steve, he's just such an all around good guy.
So tonight was just...insane. We had decided to go bowling. So we go bowling and saw Austin Powers...heh wow. That's really a great movie. Sarah and i decided to be "sneeky" if you will, and ended up gettin high. Let me tell you, that movie is a hella lot funnier when you're slightly shit faced. So i'm getting yelled at now, they want me to go outside and watch the meteor showers (sp?) Argh, i have to get up and do this sport camp deal at Ursuline tomorrow...wow, good...
2 freedom fighters |
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2002 12 August :: 3.44pm
wow. these two polo practices a day are going to be kicking my ass. well, they already are. someone is going to have to take me to tonights pracitce in a wheelchair.
have you guys seen the horrible movie, 'kids'? in the beginning of the movie theres this guy singing, 'i got no legs'... thats how i feel. i guess it could always be worse. i've definately felt a lot worse, i guess, in terms of feelings... last night i didnt end up seeing sex and lucia. i rented the royal tennabaums with jon instead and got mexican food and rum. it was excellent. i hope it rains tonight...
1 freedom fighter |
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2002 12 August :: 1.36am
:: Mood: asurliuhdeiru
So good thing all my friends are still asleep and it\'s almost 2...heh. I won\'t hold it againts them. I\'m talkin to Nathan. And it\'s nice, he\'s being like his old self again.
Joey\'s emailing me regularly now too. I love that kid. He\'s one of the nicest boys i think i\'ve ever met in my life. I hope i get too see him again..like ever.
Hoo-ray my friends are finally moving..it\'s only 2:03...heh.
So i think we\'re goin to the baseball game tonight. Sit in the good ol\' nosebleed section. It should be festive. We went to the loop for like an hour and half last night. Sarah wanted some cloves..so we went...and all the stores that sold em were closed. So Aaron took us to Bubble Tea and made me drink this awful, awful drink deal. Heh good times, good times.
I think we\'re going bowling tonight now. The game ins\'t happening. It\'ll be fun i think. Hopefully Chris will come...sigh. I\'m so fucking desperate...wow. I need a boyfriend. Sarah and I had this insansely long conversation about it last night. I decided she and Lowell need to get together and she didn\'t hesitate to agree. I\'m supposed to talk to him. We have a bet goin on..heh. Hopefully highschool will bring boys to me. Or something like that...
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2002 11 August :: 6.50pm
i obviously have nothing worthwhile or enlightening to share. even if i did, i really cant bring myself to leave it here for the world to see...
at work, this girl was reading the newest issue of YM, and she pointed out to me a full page article of my man howie day. you know its time to find new music when shit like that happens. ben kweller was also in it.
my brother just went back to colorado. he was visiting with sean mcneilly and this wierd girl named lindsey who called me 'homegirl' which i didnt understand at all. she was one of those whimsical art students who just barely made it out of high school, because everybody gossiped too much and it wasnt their style, and she now wants to become a massage therapist. i was like... wow... you are loony... and she didint like bugs-- not that they are likable in the first place-- but we went out to chubb trail one day with the dogs and some kids and she was spazzing out the entire time. and she called herself a hippie. anyway, the weed was dank. digity dank. it was a strain of trinity. and some cough. and i got the alchohol hookup. yay for brothers. i need a fake id really badly.
this is going to be one busy fucking week. aside from everyone leaving by saturday, i have water polo every day from 8-10:15AM then 8-9PM. thats insanity. micds style.
i think i might go see sex and lucia at the tivoli tonight. tivoli spells I LOV IT when it is backwords.
sorry kids... you have probably gotten 'stupider' just by reading this
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2002 11 August :: 12.08pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: My cd player still won't work...
ksujhkduukfb
So it's after 12 and the father is makin me get up before 10. He says i have to clean my room before Sarah and Elyse and Lil get here. HAH! That's gonna happen. Maybe for Elyse, just so she doesn't get a bad impression right away, but not for Lil and Sarah. I have to get Beau a birthday present tomorrow too. He's 18. That's kind of scary. I've known that kid my whole life. And i always thought we would stay little forever. Unfortunetly, we really grew apart. I know exactly when it happend too. Sigh, i hope that doesn't happen to me with my friends...anyway, i'm thinken about getting him a cd. Maybe Ben Kweller? He's one of my current favorites...eh, fuck it, that's what he's getting wether he likes it or not. Heh, i'm such a nice person.
So Duke 45 and Just Add Water and two other bands are coming to the Pageant the 17th and i wanna go. Tickets are only 7 bucks too...good thing i have someone to go with...
I talked to Matt today. He im'd me and i seriously think i giggled a little. I felt like such a little girl, but it was just nice to know that he wanted to talk to me. Joey wrote me back too. He said the rest of his trip wasn't that great and i felt bad for him. Heh, i think he said me Lizz and Matt were the "party starters" hah. That's right, because i'm such an outgoing person...that's ok, he's a sweet boy and he likes good music. How come all the good one's live so far away...damn, damn, damn.
Hmm if i go to sleep now i'll get 10 hours...heh right.
So i went out to dinner with the 'rents and my Grandma tonight. It wasn't as strange and awkward as i had imagined it would be. My dad wasn't being an ass hole and the food was good. Grandma was making sense and my mom wasn't having one of her mood swings. So i sat there and nodded when people asked me questions, and i told them all about how i got my books and everything for school. And they all told me how grown up i am, and what a "lovely young woman" i'm turning into. I had to laugh. I was sitting there in a cutesy little purple dress with black finger nail polish. Some lovely young woman i am.
I feel like changing something for some reason. Like my hair color or just something. I felt so plain and ordinary the other day. But, i knew i wasn't. I would look at who i was with and look at myself and laugh. But for some reason i just felt like a no body. Or just another ordinary face in the crowd. Unfortunately for me, Ursuline isn't a fan of "unatural" hair colors so i suppose that's out of the question. I could just show up with pink tips again like i did at TCS. Heh, that was fun.
Argh, i'm really not a fan of the unifrom i have to wear. I suppose it's cute. Heh, Aaron told me i probably look like jail bait in it. That made me laugh. I just feel like someone should hand me some bag pipes or something and i should start saying "lass" or "lads". Maybe i'm over exaggerating and it's not as bad as i think it is...yea, that's it.
I got my pictures back from Warped Tour and some pictures from Mexico. They turned out pretty good, i was happy. There's a great picture of me and Mike from MXPX. I was REAL happy that one turned out. And for once, i didn't look half bad in a picture...what a concept! Hah.
I suppose i should try this whole sleep deal. I reall don't want to, but if i'm supposed to be all cheery around the father tomorrow i suppose i should atleast get 9 hours in. Heh, i'm so lazy.
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2002 10 August :: 4.38pm
:: Music: norah jones
Which Avril Lavigne Song Are You?
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leftofcool
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2002 10 August :: 9.00am
ugh... its only 8 am but i have been up for two hours. the mornings are slow and full of bad tv because i dont have enough brain power/energy to do anything productive. well like i ever do anything productive anyway. it doesnt feel like summer at all and its almost over anyway. fuck.
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2002 10 August :: 1.27am
Kainoa9 [1:19 AM]: no i mean i remember talking with u and definetly wishing you'd be there to rescue me from rachel and whatever, and i liked that
.....ahh... after lowell left i started talking to taylor online... haven't talked to him in .. months. i remember when we used to talk.. first semester... ehhh. there was a time when i talked to taylor and never lowell, its funny now that i talk to lowell and never taylor...
Kainoa9 [1:20 AM]: where i draw a blank is the time where all that just kinda stopped and i guess i just started making fun of you/lowl at about then
...sigh. i don't know what the hell is happening..
so this is strange- writing about a night with lowell when i know he's gonna read this. bllppp... maybe i just won't write about it- its late. i should sleep.
god i don't know why, but now i'm thinking about taylor.. errrr. make me stop..
yeah and lowell... that definately should've happened earlier. i was just thinking about that- how horrible i am at making moves around you, but pretty ok at it with other people-... ask allie... i was struggling all night. ...it got late really fast.... ahhh all these random thoughts in my head are colliding at full force and i can't think straight. maybe the right words will come tomorrow.
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