leftofcool
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2004 15 February :: 8.52pm
:: Music: karl densons tiny universe
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 15 February :: 9.22am
:: Music: doria roberts- portrait
Answer questions using lyrics from only one band.
Band: ben harper
1. Are you male or female?:
She had diamonds on the inside
2. Describe yourself?:
brown eyed blues
3. How do they feel about you?:
the woman in you, is the worry... the worry in me
4. How do you feel about yourself?:
I'm afraid for this I may be liable
So its best I be moving - moving along
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?:
I don't want that kind of forever
in my life anymore
6. What would you rather be doing?:
wish there was something
I could say or do
see cause I can resist anything
but the temptation from you
but I'd rather walk alone
than chase you around
I would rather fall myself
than let you drag me on down
7. Describe where you live?:
There is not a river wide
Not a mountain high
And neither sin nor evil
Could change how I feel inside
8. Describe how you live?:
I live a hundred lifetimes in a day.
But I die a little
In every breath - that - I take.
9. Describe how you love?:
Your eyes shine through me
You are so divine to me
Your heart has a home in mine
We won't have to say a word
With a touch all shall be heard
10. Share a few words of wisdom?:
When I was a baby I was not prejudiced
hey how about you?
this was something
that I learned in school
something they taught us to do
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 14 February :: 8.36pm
i am not frustrated by the sleeplessness
knowing that i am matching your breathing
watching you pull my arm over your body
and anchor it there with your hand
(it is so much smaller and so much softer than mine)
(so are you)
it is better that i am tired and awake
than any fitful sleep
im not an insomniac
im inspired for the first time in days
that make up months
that add up to years.
i like you
without alcohol in me
i am taken aback
taken offguard
trying to remember my life
with something worth working for.
i hate the way you lay there
and wait for me to move
.kiss me.
even for a minute
those minutes last hours
(although they go by too quickly)
and make up the lost time in my life.
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 13 February :: 6.58am
:: Music: yer mom
my knife isnt sharp enough to cut my skin or my ties to you.
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 12 February :: 12.03am
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: another lonely day-ben harper
so lets break this down, shall we?
tommy wants nothing to do with me. yet, i'm still the one that gets angry people bitching about how horrible of a thing that was to do, and how i really need to get some morals and blah blah. not only do i get to hear people rant and rave, i didn't even get the guy.
he of course got the girl...
zach also wants nothing to do with me. that night, that horrible friday night, we were supposed to get together. i thought he was just after some lovin' seeing as that's all he's ever after. no, the guy i've had a little crush on since, oh the beginning of the school year might have actually had feelings for me. and not just the wow, she looks good kind. the actual, wow i could see myself dating her kind. i found this out about 10 minutes ago. i apologized for what went down, and he replied with a, "don't worry about it...it's over." i took this as tommy and i being over..oh no, he meant me and him. i didn't even know we were started. i asked if he would maybe wanna hang out again...i get a "i dunno." and a quick sign off. he might as well have said, "can't you see i hate you? now get away from me you stupid little girl."
things just aren't going to go my way.
valentine's day is coming up...oh joy! another glorious holiday that has been so commercialized by hallmark it's sickening. i will say i probably wouldn't be as bitter if i had that "special someone" to share this day of love with...but seeing as i don't, it's hostile bitch-mode for allie.
he went shopping for her today, to buy her a valentine's present. i hope she doesn't take him back..i hope to god she doesn't. i know she will, but there's still a part of me that hopes she has some sense. i still get death stares from across the biology lab. i'm afraid those stares are going to turn into victory smiles, he's nothing to be too proud of. she should know first hand. i unfortunately do too.
we'll just have to see what tomorrow brings i suppose. the winter dance is this weekend...on valentine's day, of course. i am going stag, lizz, of course has a date. lauren i'm sure will have her boys up there, and i will assume the wallflower position i've grown remarkably good at.
"the best years of my life" are here and now...so why can't i wait until they're over?
2 freedom fighters |
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 10 February :: 7.36pm
thoughts of no relevance
lately ive been wearing my hair curly
ive been growing it out too
as i outgrow you
and in the event of your return
there will be nothing to run your hands through
1 freedom fighter |
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 10 February :: 7.17pm
:: Music: howie day
the return
"It's not how you fall, it's how you land"
-translated from La Haine
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 4 February :: 11.08pm
"and believe me or not, im always going to love you, you have a special part of my heart."
please make me melt more, i'm begging you.
stupid ass.
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 3 February :: 10.36pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: here in my room-incubus
doesn't he understand how much he hurts me? he has this power over me, this power i hate. i'm much too vulnerable around him...he knows he could have me, and i thought for sure we were eachothers. so comfortable, like things would all end up okay.
he wants her back. the girl i caused so much heartache, his ex-girl, the girl he left for me. he wants her back. not "officially" the thought has "only crossed his mind". it's a bull shit way of saying i don't want to hurt you again so i'm going to side step around this as best i can. she's a friend of mine, which makes it all the worse. not only had i hurt her, but i ended up hurting myself in the end.
i'll just never be good enough, not for anyone.
2 freedom fighters |
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 22 January :: 8.23pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: never heard of it-veronica
every part of me wants him. he wants her, and they're perfect.
no no no...can't he see that IM the perfect one. how many late night phone calls we've had, fun adventures to where ever. i've always been able to tell him what's on my mind, but lately i'm scared. he knows how i feel, he told me he'll always have feelings for me too. so why aren't i the one he holds hands and shares kisses with? why do i want to scream whenever i see them together. it was never this way before.
i should have never kissed him back.
he hurt me so bad. like no one ever has before. why do i still want him? why am i still intimidated when i'm around him? he says he's sorry, he tells me all the time. he says he knows he messed up. i want to believe him, and i think i do. he tells me he loves me, in a joking way...
i am not a pretty girl and it will forever be my demise.
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 11 January :: 10.18pm
:: Music: thursday-asleep in the chapel
i'm much too anxious these days. it always feels like somethings wrong, but i never figure out what it is. sleep is a foreign thing, but i will say i've created some pretty nice writings and drawing in those early morning hours.
i like a new boy and i don't quite know what to do about it. he's interesting and always listens to me whine about god knows what. his taste in music is beautiful, but he's one of those people that never lets on to what he's really thinking. i want to know him.
"i'd like to see you undone."
2 freedom fighters |
free tibet
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daydream
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2003 25 December :: 9.55pm
:: Music: ozma-natalie portman
merry christmas everyone. i hope santa was good to you this year.
free tibet
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daydream
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2003 18 December :: 7.24pm
interesting...
free tibet
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daydream
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2003 14 December :: 2.35am
i hate relationships and the whole dating scene. it's just something i will never be good at. ever. sigh. on an upside i'm going to see the urge play next friday...hooray for good concerts.
it's been snowing since 9 this morning and doesn't show any signs of stopping...i love winter. i had a snowball fight today with one of the prettiest boys i've ever known...i ended up extremely cold, wet, and trying to rub feeling back into my hands and feet. i love winter. or maybe it's the pretty boys i'm found of...i personally think it's both...hmm...
exams are next week, eeks. who's not ready? oh that would be me. i have to go to my dad's tomorrow as well which robs me of a full snowy sunday of studying. oh well, tis the season...or something.
that's all for now folks, tune in next time.
"this is the strangest life i have ever known."
free tibet
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DayDream
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2003 19 November :: 2.45pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: sha sha-ben kweller
home sick. and man, am i sick. you know how some mornings you wake up and just feel crappy, but it usually only lasts for an hour or two? yea, that feeling definately hasn't gone away yet. if anything it's gotten worse...hooray for stomach flu.
i had a paper due today, and an essay due yesterday...good thing i've done either...the essay topic is somewhat interesting. i have to write about the movie gattaca and how it related to science focusing mainly on genetics and dna. being assigned to watch a good movie is always fun. rent it if you haven't, it's worth your money. jude law and ethan hawke are both in it which makes for excellent eye candy.
sonny and brenna got into a car accident monday night. sonny hit the windshield. reason number 78646 i'm scared to drive.
i really should get to writing this papers of mine. that is if my head stops pounding and my stomach realizes that even through its best efforts it is not capable of doing summersalts and backflips. till' then, my friends.
"you're the cutest thing that i ever did see, really love your peaches wanna shake your tree."
5 freedom fighters |
free tibet
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