*!Lifeless Living Is Worse Than Destined Death; So Savor The Souls Of Those With Out Hope, And Help Those Who Dream To Cope... Jordan Mackenzie Porter/Loye, November 26, 2003!*
this weekend will be the 6th weekend in a row Ive gone out all night and come home on the first train in the morning. Im not entirely sure how I feel about that.
I had a dream last night that I went to a bar with my friend Benedict. I paid 2000 yen at the door, got my wristband and two tickets, and entered. When I got in, a fat lady with a poorly shaped bob haircut and thick horn-rimmed glasses stops me and asks me for proof that I had paid. I show her my wristband but she says, `that proves nothing`. I pull out one of the two tickets I had and I get the same response, followed by the other only to yet again hear how useless it is. She starts chuckling and I say, `what do I have to do to prove to you that I paid?`. She grins and replies `Tim should have given you what you need.`
`Then Ill go find time`
`Tim wont give it to you now, Im sure`
She is laughing hysterically and Im getting incredibly frustrated at this point. I start cursing in Japanese, to which she responds with laughter.
`Its no use really` she says and continues laughing, her belly jiggling rythmycally.
Its then that I pull out a Colt .357, cock it, aim at her face, and pull the trigger. I hear nothing but see a flash of white, at which point I wake up in a cold sweat.
what does this mean?
For a reality update, Im still alive. Thats nice yeah?
this is the point in time where I usually pack it in and say fuck it.
but fuck that.... not this time bitches.
the question is is it really worth the effort its going to take? and on top of that, the amount of emotional energy its going to consume?
I really dont understand the situation at all, but clearly somethings going to have to give.
its so easy to give up when its two ways, but its so difficult to capitulate when its one sided.... why is that? I dont really have anything to prove, and theoretically speaking, Im sitting pretty otherwise. Its like Im 18 again... I dont like me at 18...
Not about anything
I didn't expect it to be so strange when I merged worlds. It's not bad, but it's different. I brought Poland, Australia, and America into the same place. I have Kara, who is experiencing what the real Shelton family is, and marveling at how I came from it. I have Prudence, who counts as both Polish and Australian to me, who is experiencing the American life. And then I have my American friends, who are experiencing the people I spent most of my time with abroad. Surprisingly (or maybe not,) I make friends with a similar type of people anywhere I go. Not that everyone doesn't have their own unique qualities, only that I tend to surround myself with people who will get along with each other. I really like my friends.
We're going to be traveling soon. Next trip will be about two weeks and we'll see Boston, New York City, Washington DC, Cincinnati, and Columbus, as well as everything in between. I'm really excited about this because I've always wanted to see New England more than ANYWHERE else in the USA. I know it's not a really thorough trip, but it's going to be great nonetheless. It's sad Prudence will have to leave about a week after we get back to Cedar, and Kara will leave in about three. I wish I could go with her.. I really hope I can. It all depends on the Australian government. I've already applied for residency; all that's left is waiting.
I'm going to miss my friends and winter Christmases. But Melbourne gets colder than Brisbane, so it will feel a little more like home. I can't WAIT to start studying, but once again, I'll have to wait. Two years. :S
I don't want to think about the future. My life is made up of a lot of phases. I'm always in a position where I can't do one thing until I've done another, and usually, it's time that's holding me back. Such as, a visa needing to be approved, or having a visa that won't let you study for two years. I'm not really in a hurry, but I like to feel like I'm working towards something. At least it never hurts to save money for a while.
I'm not going to complain about anything, or say anything contemplative, because I don't really feel like it, even though God knows I could. But it's been ages since I've written, so I thought I would. I used to keep a journal that I wrote in regularly, ever since I was little, but I haven't for the last year. I've never lived with anyone before in the sense that your lives actually affect each others, and ever since Kara and I moved in together, I haven't needed to write. Not much, anyway. We used to go to bed every night and just talk while laying there. It's harder to do here in America, where my mother is creeping around, making sure we're not being ourselves. That must be why I feel like writing right now. But also, Kara and Prudence are taking quizzes on some website right now. Instead of joining in, I went to woohu. I even forgot my password. I had to ask Kara--good thing she stores memories like a computer.
Well, we're going to drink some vodasz tonight, and watch Harry Potter movies (god help me.) The wine will help. :P
"Satellite developer Intelsat and the Krispy Kreme Doughnut Corporation are other well-known names on the list."
no.... anyone but krispy kreme!! Fuck GM's financial aid plan... give that shit to Krispy Kreme!!
My theory:
If GM goes insolvent, thousands of people will lose jobs.
But given that we move the aid to Krispy Kreme, doughnut prices decrease at record pace and all the unemployed are too distracted by delicious glazed doughnuts to worry about how they're going to feed their kids (they could just feed them doughnuts as well, but that's unhealthy. This is where McDonald's comes in...) and live for the rest of their lives!
Edit:
"Sectors least represented in the Bottom Rung group include natural products, forest products, healthcare, metals and mining"
I feel like I could have told that health care may still be one of the more highly desired items in case of economic meltdown, but who am I...
I'm still kickin. I love the class and I'm really coming into my own with the language at this point, atleast when I put my mind to it...
I don't remember Spanish being this difficult to get into the mindset of grammatically. The best part now is that if I try to use any Spanish at all, I can't make that switch, so most of the little in between sentence sounds like , in english (umm, well, anyway, etc...) all end up coming out in Japanese. Plus it takes awhile to get into the grove of speaking in order to pronounce every word in your sentence correctly. But I managed, yesterday, to explain the rules of waterfall completely in Japanese so I look at that as some evidence of progress.
Yui's in Amsterdam (jealous) so things have been pretty boring.
I've had a hell of a time getting the replacement AC adapter for my lappy so I can call you guys.