killjoy
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2004 10 November :: 12.20am
wishing wishes. (...sorry, its weird...i was bored and its 12 am)
if i only had one wish.
that wish would do me good
all i want is one wish
one wish, i wish i could.
i wish that wish of wishes
to wish my wish come true.
and that wish of all my wishes
that wish is to kill you.
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 9 November :: 6.45pm
Oh yay, I tried to tell my mom what happened today at school when I we were getting food at Robertos Taco shop and I burtsed out crying. This isn't getting better.
-Chasmin-
2 more shards |
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 9 November :: 5.33pm
:: Mood: Crappy el crappo
:: Music: Boy From Oz soundtrack
I honestly love you...
Ok today was going fine all happiness, untill lunch. A bunch of people I hang out with were standing in front of the AV room as usual I moved away from them some but I was still on the steps. Charlie is sitting there and I was listening and he's like "Yah I've sorta been out of the loop lately. I heard that Digem(Ryan) had a thing for Betty" I heard this and it felt like the wind was knocked out of me, it was hard to breath and my heart was beating fast. Ashely looked at me and saw that I was about to cry and she was like trying to make me feel better. I had to look up to hold back the tears. But they came out no less. I got fed up and I went over to where my next class was and just cried...god...even thinking about it hurts. I can't do this anymore. I have to find a way so it doesn't hurt me
-Chasmin-
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break my being
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killjoy
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2004 8 November :: 5.35am
its 5:30 am of the next horrible day of my life.
2 more shards |
break my being
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killjoy
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2004 7 November :: 8.29pm
if tears were blood id die
why is this happening
what did i do
why are you leaving me
why are we through.
how am i living
im suposed to be dead
my heart has stoped beating
youve pulled its least thread
im crying on the keys now
if tears were blood i'd die.
i doubt i have as much blood
as all the tears ive cried
so now i leave you thinking
how can i be alive
my heart has stoped beating
if tears where blood id die
break my being
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killjoy
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2004 7 November :: 8.29pm
:: Music: there is.
saddest day of my life.
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 5 November :: 9.02pm
House on Pooh corner
Christopher Robin and I walked along
Under branches lit up by the moon
Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore
As our days disappeared all too soon
But I've wandered much further today than I should
And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood
So help me if you can
I've got to get back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
You'd be surprised
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh
Winnie the Pooh doesn't know what to do
Got a honey jar stuck on his nose
He came to me asking for help and advice
And from here no one knows where he goes
So I sent him to ask of the Owl if he's there
How to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear
It's hard to explain how a few precious things
Seem to follow throughout all our lives
After all's said and done I was watching my son
Sleeping there with my bear by his side
So I tucked him in, I kissed him and as I was going
I swear that the old bear whispered
"Boy welcome home"
Believe me if you can
I've finally come back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
What do you know
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin
Back to the ways of Christopher Robin
Back to the days of Pooh
Good song
-Chasmin-
5 more shards |
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 5 November :: 6.37am
Gah you all know me the animal lover so throughout here you will find randomly placed animals...click on the pengin (yes pengin) it's fun.
-Chasmin-
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 5 November :: 6.30am
:: Mood: Anti-social
:: Music: Here comes the sun
Hehe cool test
I AM 42% ASSHOLE/BITCH!  I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me. |
-Chasmin-
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 2 November :: 8.53pm
:: Mood: Tear
Oh yah Bush won...what excitement...what joy...I am so thrilled. Lets see what crap we will go through now.
-Chasmin-
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break my being
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squishylover
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2004 4 November :: 8.35pm
:: Mood: ::grumble::
:: Music: Nobody's heart
Ebookman
Ok so Ryan has been hanging out alot with these two girls Janina, and Betty. Janina he's teaching how to skate, and Betty he's known for a long time. I've gotten so jelous over this whole thing, cause of just him spending time with them. I hear from people that they see him with the two all the time. God it hurts. I see them both and I can't even like them even if I wanted to. I can be civil but I don't like them. I would love to have some attention from him, but I shouldn't want that because then it would be harder for me to get over him. I just wanted to scream in lunch when Janina and Betty were talking about Ryan and that damned dog doll. I hate when I get like this but jeeze, it hurts. I feel like they are just replacing me...which is true. It should be this way but the truth hurts. It's good that Ryan's life is better and everything is going good for him. In other words since we broke up everything has been better for him, maybe I was bringing him down. I know I should stop brooding over this but I can't help it. I try really hard, sometimes I can and I feel great then at other times I will just want to sit down and cry. Ryan didn't even remember my birthday anymore. When right before we broke up he was always going your birthdays coming up, the big day is coming up, what do you want? Now he's like when is it again? Oh yah. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! I feel like my charecter in the play that I'm doing. Getting tossed away like a rag doll. I wish he was ready for a girlfriend, I wish he loved me still. But then again you should be careful what you wish for and is what I'm wishing for even something thats good for me? Gah and another thing, now that we split up his computer works! He's making profiles again! God....he stopped doing the profile thing for me so long ago...he stopped coming online. Now he's on all the time. Things are so different now, life is different.
-Chasmin-
1 more shard |
break my being
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killjoy
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2004 2 November :: 7.30pm
The Poke
so there i am sitting on my moms bed and she is watching tv in her pjs. and i poke her knee with my finger and say poke. then do it again. poke. and again. poke. and finally she is saying "what the hell are you doing!" another poke. then she lunges forward to poke me and i hop back. then poke her leg again. poke. then she grabs a pillow and swings it and it smacks me right in the face. and says poke. ::bows head and walks away in shame::
2 more shards |
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 2 November :: 6.28am
:: Mood: Alive?
:: Music: Billy Idol
Election Day!
Wow today is election day, I wanna know who's gonna win. Just think (I think this is pretty cool) that when our generation gets older this shits gonna be in text books. I dunno I find that an interesting thought. I wonder what it would be like to be the first woman president. I know it would be both a good and bad thing. So many would hate you for being a woman in office, but many would admire you for taking on the job. Well I guess we will have to wait till later to find out who wins. I hope it's Kerry....I do. I don't really care for him but in my opinion it's a better choice then Bush. Ok school time.
-Chasmin-
3 more shards |
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 1 November :: 10.46pm
Halloween pic
Read more..
-Chasmin-
2 more shards |
break my being
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squishylover
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2004 31 October :: 4.36pm
:: Mood: Crappola
:: Music: Selena
Happy Halloween?
Yah so Happy Halloween everyone. I worked for the first part, all dressed up and all that good stuff. If I get a digi pic I will post it on here. I think I'm going ot Jons party thing tonight, so good stuff. Lucy the other hostess was a cop everyone was hitting on her. I did something stupid on friday and now I regret doing it. I gave Ryan a note telling him how I felt about everything, and I think that was a really bad idea...I just have a bad feeling. I hate this feeling...I hate stuff. Ryan is able to go out and do stuff, make friends and be spontaneous, I'm happy for him. I should do that....enh too much energy. I wonder when or if Lorelei is picking me up. I want to be happy, why is it hard for me to be happy? AHHHHHHHH! I need to stop thinking about this.
-Chasmin-
4 more shards |
break my being
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