So i'm feeling better than I did on Friday.
Much much better.
I just really wish I could find another Boston terrier for me or at least a Boston playmate for my dog.
I'vr narrowed things down to the fact that I hate my job more than anything. Seriously, to the point where I am miserable every single day and I don't want to get out of bed.
Life was better on prozac..
I've been at this place before..
Where nothing makes sense, but at the same time, everything makes sense to me.
I have everything most girls dream of, yet I am lacking so many things that other people have and dream of.
Sometimes I think that I want to be single and live alone.
But the problem with that is, I haven't ever lived on my own. I hate being at home alone. I tried living on my own once, and Mike was over everyday, and then he moved completely in.
I need to balance independent and dependent.
I'm back to where I was when I was in high school..
Crying about every little thing.
Making everyone miserable because I'm sad all the time..
Even though I really have no reason to be unhappy..
And seriously, I have no idea how Mike deals with it.
He tries to cheer me up, but it only lasts for a little bit..
Until I start thinking about how much my life is lacking in different areas..
I have so many hopes and dreams that I don't put into action.
So many ties..
And sadly I think the only fix is prozac.
And the problem with that is, I don't have health insurance!
Things are starting to look up.. Other than I have 6 exams due by thursday.. and being that I have to work monday-thursday, I have no idea when i am going to be able to make it up to the college before the lab closes so that I can get all my exams in..
Kind of worried about it.. but who knows.. maybe something will work out for me..
I still have work for 2 classes to do yet.. And there are a couple of assignments for one class that I can't figure out how to do certain things.. so yeah, im screwed!
I've been putting some serious thought into a career path, and I still have no clue what I want to do with my life.
I want out of this factory crap.
I keep thinking that there is a job out there that I will enjoy every moment of, and the people won't irritate me.
But lets be serious, that doesn't exsist.
At least not for me.
Well here is another thing to add to the list of things that keep making my life worse..
Mike's daughters mom and step dad are buying the house that I want more than anything so that their welfare kids can rent it from them..
I am super fucking pissed because they knew that I wanted that house, and was trying to get it..
Right now I am beyond super fucking pissed.
wow havent been here in a while, things are going good. we moved! yes we moved to a duplex down the road and we are loving it. there is so much more room and now he has a garage to occupy his time.
healthy again, at least for now, we will find out on monday what the chances of having another baby are and we will go from there.
work has been creative to say the least. Been taking on more responsibilites and having to deal with the snot nosed brats at work is making me all stressed but thats what work does and i may just deal with it.
finally got rid of princess, she found a wonderful home witha family in fort wayne, im so glad i was able to help her, i am also looking at getting something part time with animal control, mainly animal rescue so thats exciting!