i got really mad at ash and i sent her one of my "angry emails" and she just signed on n im afraid of what shes gun say...eh...
XxAtarisChickxX [9:01 PM]: i'm sorry!!!!
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [9:02 PM]: ....
XxAtarisChickxX [9:02 PM]: kristen!
XxAtarisChickxX [9:02 PM]: i'm sorry.. i didnt know
XxAtarisChickxX [9:05 PM]: KRISS!
XxAtarisChickxX [9:06 PM]: grrrr
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [9:07 PM]: just leave me alone for now...
XxAtarisChickxX [9:08 PM]: fuck!
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [9:08 PM]: ...


more of the IM in a few...gotta switch sns...

arghhhh i forgot to put on my ring today and my hand feels like its missing something n i keep feeling like i lost it...i dont like it...grrr i have to talk to peter while ali gets something for him and hes making really annoying noises and shit i think he just hung up on me ima kill the lil demon...gotta study for my sci testtttttt bye!

la la la...taking a five minute break n then i have to get back to the homework thats taking me like 5 hrs to do!!!!!!!!!!! okay that was long enough...time to get this done so i can talk on the phone to the people i love!!!

la la la...boredd! at least i have no school! confirmation todayyyyy!!!! wheee i get to wear a pretty-full dress n other shit lol...but omggg molly lemme borrow this bracelet to match my necklace...its soo pretty! i want it!!! wheeee!!!!

la la la la la...i think i like somebodyy!!! n he likes mee!!! =P muahaha...ugh but he likes rap! oh well, i still really like him...i really like this songg...i got it stucked in alis head...now shes mad at me...hahaha im fighting w/mike over the cubs...its hysterical...ali thinks im taking it too far...i told him that the cubs should go fuck themselves while the yankees take the title lmao...hes so pissed...lmao!!!!!! i like my pic...its sexy tonyy!!!!! tony's one of the sexiest persons on earthhhh!!!!! i need to find a backup pic tho cuz this one dun fit so good...oh well...i still think tony's sexyy

im tired...

bleh i dont know what im feeling...kinda...idk, stupid, a lil rejected, lonely...omggg do i miss having a bf...idk why its been so long...maybe im losing it...people who've liked me, dont anymore...idk...is something wrong w/me or something?...oh well...whatever...

well i would like to thank the certain people ((you know who you are)) for making my life a living hell...then i would like to thank the certain people ((you also know who you are)) for helping me thru it...well im finally leaving the rrc...for good...im sick of the pain im getting from it...its not worth it...

to that one person --

why the fuck do you have to hurt me like that!?!?! i never did anything to cause you this much pain! why you gotta do it to me!!!! i fuckin hate you! thanks for making my day a living hell!!!

wow alot went on yesterday...im only tired cuz dad woke me up at 8:00...yes, on a saturday...he walks in n says hey, what you doing?" i moan n say "well im TRYING to sleep WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?" he told me he thought i was awake ::rolls eyes:: yeah, sure, whatever...man i love this song...fuckin rockss...well, to a couple of people's suprise, i asked out the guy i like...what a fag...he's like i dont want a gf right now...but i love you...i was like wtf, what a chink ((haha i think its a funny word)) welx...the other word i like that laura liked too...hahahahahah =]]...nun much left to say cept ali stayed at sophia's house till like 1000 last night n it drove me craziee cuz i couldnt tell her that i asked him out lol...ima have to give her details later after the evil class i must take on a saturday morning...wtf is up w/that?...aaaah ashley's so happiee...sean gave her his jersey n took it away from amanda...go ash!!! =P...well i had to DL 9.0 AGAIN cuz it fucked up n i couldnt get on it...took ALL NIGHT! omfg dial-up sux...aaaaaaaaaaaah! chester's gone!!!!!!!! mark threw him outt! fuck u mark...i miss chester!!! pyro aint happiee...he sad...chester was his bestest friend ever...even though he was just a platypuss...haha thats a funny word...but we all miss chesterr!!!! dolly just aint the same as chester...all the girls gave chester a kiss lol...=[ i miss the lil yellow guyy...

omgggggg ima go crazieee cuz he didnt let me sleep today!!! okay, for all you'z reading this...im leaving the house at 1030...coming back @ 1245, changing for soccer, leaving for my bro's 130 game, then playing my 230 game, n then going straight to NJ for my cousin's bday so dont expect to see me tonight...then tomorrow i have the 500 game =[P wow that lpoks kinda cutee lols...yea we got two busyy days...tomorrow ima sleep LATE though..im putting a sign on my door saying "dad, im not awake, go away" hahahahah arent i so cruel? ((as ashley would know lmao...srry if i scared you yesterday when i said "well, now i remember something i said about you" lol)) okay well i have to leave in an hour n i gotta get dressed so i shall end my entry here and i will type more tomorrow...((even though i'd rather type more now)) leave a comment and i'll c u laterr!!!

omgggg did you ever notice that the back-up singer in fountains of wayne's voice is so fuckin sexyy!!!??? wowwwwww its hott...okay well im still a lil upset w/eric but i guess i can manage to talk to him...whoa mike is driving me insaneee!!! normally when guys like you, they try somethin a lil romantic or whatever...him? no...hes gotta drive me up the wallss! ashley thought IFLY was cute so she said she was gunna write it on seans hand tomorrow lmao!!!! oh well...i just talked to emily, shes a freak, uhhh....yeah i have nothing else to say ttyl

i was upset bout rob...thought eric would help me...gimme some support...i talked to his away while he was on n told him to send me an email w/what to do...he didnt...i figured maybe he signed off n didnt read the IMs from his away...well i found out that wasnt true...that he was online for like another half hour after that talking to jaime...and not even trying to help me by sending a quick email...and now hes making stupid excuses like "i didnt know" i put this in an IM...
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [3:59 PM]: ur say ur sorry...and then i tell u im still crying...and usually, or at least when you cared about me, you'd always try n make me feel better...but you havent...

he put on his away...says hes on the phone...cant make a lil time for kristen after you hurt her...nope...too much to ask...

i thought i loved him...and that he loved me back...well i've learned that things arent always what they seem...i was obviously wrong...

i wish i knew why life hurts people the way it does...you see so much pain in everyone...and i hate it...mikes the only one thats been helping me thru this...i tell ali im in tears n she just keeps focusing on ray or whatever the hell his name is...mike thank you so much you've been so great to me when i really needed help and i appreciate it soooo much...luv ya...

im sick of all the lies in this world...why do people lie about love...why do people have to play with emotions like that...they dont realize what they do to others...so much shit has gone on today and yesterday...stuff i havent mentioned, and that i cant mention...and all i keep asking myself is why we're forced to live such painful lives...

wow long time no entry...uh lets sum up the last couple of days, school started, got mrs batista for homeroom w/an okay class, the other one's better lol...w/out ali for the 3rd year in a row, we madd pissed since we tsfl but we gun get thru it....soccer started... matt, joe, peter, frank, alex, me...we the only good onesz lol...well we lost today cuz we have a sucky defense and tony cant put me in two positions at once...matt's pissed about playing goalie haha oh well...todays game was screwed but it was only the first so oh well....uhh....oooh! bought LP! hahahaha my brother's yellin at me cuz i play it too loud lol...ima turn it down from now on... (or so i say...muahaha)...umm oh im mad at emily now...yea i tell her somethin personal, she gets bitchy on me...ugh...this time it wasnt a yea i hate you, next day luv ya...im really madd...uhh...eric broke up w/ash!!! yepp all done...im sry i really shouldnt be happy about that...ali's pissed off cuz her cousin kept calling matt last night and she had to spend the day w/her today haha...started co-op prep classes today...kelly, matt, mark...everyone else in the other damn class! ...exactly what i was thinking...someone is purposely keeping us apart we cant even get into the same test prep class! forget regualar, everyday school where we dont have a single class together, but co-op prep too! grrr...ugh mom got sick of my 8 hrs a day online so she set a timer on softballgirl for 3 hrs...i hated it at first but then i realize i have no timer on hyper! muahahaha...the only problem is her realizing i've been on for so long a day and wondering how im doing it lol...i said boo to mike n he still didnt know it was me...lil chink haha yes, im still using chink...lauren ima kill you for gettin me started on that word! so is ali lol...alright im seriously tired from soccer so ima finish up this entry and write more tomorrow after matt's soccer game...ttyl! <33

sryy my mom wanted to check her mail...she can never wait till im done (probly cuz i dont get offline till after shes asleep lol) i still have a cough, i hate it...ali got dragged to the bruce springsteen concert tonight @ the meadowlands haha...but i love the meadowlands no matter what for, i'll go so i told her i'd take her place but she just laughed lol...football games at the meadowlands...i miss em...i had to miss my jets game cuz i fractured my ankle the day before! i was so pissed! i didnt get tix from my uncle for any other game, my dad took em and brought his friends...ugh...i feel sick...like really sick...i thought i was supposed to be better...imma go watch the vma's now!!! later folks!

i actually wanna go back to school...i miss alotta people...hmmm who do i miss? i miss tim, i miss lucy (shes right down the block geez why dont i just call her) , i miss julia, i miss mike, i miss...wait a sec, mike's right down the block too okay this is fucked up...and yes, i do miss mike's bitchin ((sryy!)) wow i didnt realize how many people i missed...too many to list here...actually i have unlimited space but i dont feel like it lol...i need to put on some music...hold up.................................................................................................................................................................................................wheee flavor of the week!!!((yea its really weak but i dont care lol)) soccer starts next weekend and tony still hasnt called a practice! i just hope we get a good team...i'll write more in a sec...

omfg i feel so damn low! i have my heart set on this one guy, and then i broke another guys heart...i hate this...i feel so stupid. i shouldnt have told him i had my heart set on another guy!...hes so sweet and i feel so bad...even ali said it was stupid and i feel so terrible...shes all "im not trying to be mean but you totally broke his heart" and shes always right!!!! hes so sweet though i keep apologizing for it and he keeps yelling back ITS OK!!!!!!!!!!! but i still feel totally low...

i feel so shitty...im sick...dont like it...missed out on 30$ babysittin cuz im sick...sux so much...helpin with the twins 2m...yay...missed out on hurricane harbor to go to the beach today...but it wasnt bad i had fun...i talked to matt last night...hes gunna be at the beach all week hahahaha ali's gunna be happy when i actually get around to telling her...heh...yea i kinda forgot to call her lol...i will later though...maybe i will right now...maybe not...i dont know...im so thoughtless but i thought i should at least announce that i am sick...ttyl

hmm...i havent played my evanescence cd on the computer in so long! its been in the stereo forever for when im in my room but i miss it on the puter!!! ugh emily is being such a bitch...i swear, she keeps saying "i know something you dont know" over and over so she obviously wanted me to ask what and then got mad at me when i asked it a second time saying "kristen i promised him i wouldnt tell! stop bugging me about it!" and now shes calling ME a bitch...ughrrr..g2g

alot to do today...i forgot im going to get my hair done today...another hour and a half taken outta my dayy lol -- i dont know what to pack!!! ali didnt read the email!!! grrr i sent her a like 3 page email last night before i watched chicago -- it was really good! i asked her what i should bring and she never read it...she left at like 1000 for the beach!!! she doesnt even wake up that early! forget leave for the beach! grrr i hope matts there today though so i dont have to sit and listen to her cry over how he wasnt there lol jp hun, i luv ya...plus she didnt read the parts of a convo i sent her last night that really made me happy but i didnt tell her about so she could read them herserlf and now im pissed cuz its gunna be a full 24 hrs after that she reads this stuff that makes me all "yay!!!" if you know what i mean, which im sure you do, my god im typing fast cuz im so high!!!! whoa its really scary! ::takes time to breathe:: whew that wore me out...still typing really fast though..imma have cramps lol...im so high i wish i hadnt promised ali i'd save my last lollipop for tomorrow so i could be really high for her! i need more sugarr!!! wow i need to calm the fuck down...alright imma go now and finish some of the shit i have to do! laterr<33

eh...i start to type and my cheese burger is ready...bbl =]

i am so fucken tired!!! in two days i got 8 hrs of sleep! i dont know why i cant sleep! im tired, but wont fall asleep at night and its driving me crazy! especially after last night when i worked my ass off so bad, i felt sick...i thank ashley for helping me feel better, and mike, thanks for caring...eric, glad we got that settled last night...that helped too. wheee! eric aint avoiding me no more!!! okay i really need laura to come online and help wake me up!!!!!!!!!!!!! so tired...shes probly with germy now...well ali couldnt see matt today, shes seeing the other guy thats all over her. ::rolls eyes:: im afraid of whats gunna happen...her bday is friday!!! wheee i get to meet matt and imma make her so mad at me! woot woot!!! i sound extremely awake dont i...well the truth is, this is all coming outta my brain, not my body, so if ur thinking im weird for saying im tired n then screaming whee and woot well...screw you..jkjk...its really hot out...why i still have my hair out, i dont know...actually yes i do, it was straight for once...even though the only person i saw today besides my mom n brother was the guy waitin in front of mary jo's house to take care of some papers ((he was hot!!! damn, his voice too! hes probly like 26 or something though....)) josh is gunna be at ashleys house today!!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! plus shes gunna try n get me a pic of her neighbor who just happens to be my age and who she says really aint that bad lookin...=] ya'll know me...i cant resist a pic of a hot guy!!! wow i've only been typing this for like 3 minutes and its really...im hungry, i want some popcorn...or maybe something else i dont really care any more, i just want food...alright well i will go and feed myself and write more laterr...luv yas all!

just put in a sour apple blow pop again lol...imma probly get in trouble since its like almost 700 but oh well...me and laura are having alot of fun...never noticed how much we fucken have in common...damn scary...we talkin bout lollipops n roller coaster lmfao...so hyperr!!! i told jenn page was engaged...she flipped LMAO!!! she wanted page all for herself, the lil slut slut...well right now emily is boring me with her "soo soo soo soo soo soo"s right now. ((sry emms but iss annoying lol))...waiting for ali to get home now with the tales of another exciting day in her life @ the beachh...damn cabanas..haha i get to meet her bf on friday!!! imma talk some sense into this kid...havent even met him yet!!! damn im in deep shit...bbl

wheeee! anthonys staying!...i helped laura figure out how to change the colors in her journal before...found out today that my brother has athsma or however the hell you spell it...i talked to germy cuz he went to laura's house haha...we talked...he found out that i know about his lil accidents -- those were extremely funny stories...i have to get ali's bday gift...cds, cds, cds...i need to buy cds myself since i cant DL anymore songs till my puter stops saying it burned the cds and actually doesnt!!! i just taught laura how to make grilled cheese lol. she said she forgot how...shes insulting jeremy and im yelling at her. cruel person...i'll write more later...im outta stuff to say lol

yes, im back from eating my mac n cheese lol, and there are two people im actually missing...i miss ant, and i miss another certain someone...im hoping him n his friend hes always with (im not using names for a reason) will come outside to play soccer or something...i just realized theres a third person i miss...i cant wait to see him when school starts -- i have such a good picture of him <33...looks so hot in it. actually i have alotta pix of hot guys...i've got two that i took myself, last day of school...3 are ones that ashley sent me!!!! damnn josh, evan, and sean....HOTT!!! laura's gunna help me delete the entry i put in 9 times lol alright i gotta go find out how to do it, i'll finish this laterr

im so sad! anthony's leaving us for a whole year!!!!!!!! =[ me misses him...he said he'd call me though...hopefully he wont forget lol...i hope hes not killing himself right now...after yesterday he wasnt exactly the happiest person. nope nope, not happy -- if he dun call me though, i'll either call him or ask the alsers. hmm...i still havent spoken to eric lol...ali saw matt at the beach yesterday...naughty naughty people they are!!! woot! i mean, i know they like each other alot but...they gotta learn to take it easy...page is fucken gettin married!!! im so happy for him n i tried to call jenn n tell her but shes STILL doinn the drama camp at poly...macaroni n cheese is ready...i will write more when i return...