iM THE GiRL WHOSE SWEEPiNG<br>YOU OFF YOUR FEET<|3

:: 2004 25 August :: 10.25am

i just remembered something....

ryan called me a dopey dwarf yesterday...

*purrrs* you're going down.....

mwah ha ha.

7 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 25 August :: 12.10am

http://www.converse.com/zproductdetails.asp?zcatid=2&zsubcatid=&zgenid=&leftnavid=1&sku=1Q110

im getting these saturday.. woohu!

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 24 August :: 10.49pm

God, give me the strength to not flip out about this. i cant handle it alone.

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 24 August :: 3.43pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: matchbox romance - promise

..i try.

but i don't think just trying is good enough anymore.

..i really don't think that i should be here anymore.

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 24 August :: 10.02am

i have to get my tb test in less then an hour....

im scared of needles... very scared.

*shudders* hold me.

:: 2004 23 August :: 11.54pm
:: Mood: thinking hard.. a little stressed
:: Music: coheed & cambria - a favor house in atlantica

stupid piece of shit.. i accidently deleted my entry from the 16th. stupid asshole.

i spent the last almost week with jim. i had a great time. i finially met his dad. he's great. we stayed at his house 2 nights.

i got home today around 8:00. i walked in the house, and the kitchen, bar room, and dining room was clean when i left on saturday morning- because sam and i cleaned it. i come home to a fuckin' mess. god i was in such a great mood until i saw that. my mom & george left sunday morning to go on a little vacation with the girls and their friends craig & sherry;; they have 2 boys about sam&anns age. dustin was here the whole time; and i guess didn't lift a god damn finger to do shit around here. our bathroom toilet overflowed 2 weekends ago while i was staying over jims and my mom had went somewhere.. and dustin didn't do anything about it and just left it there. so now we can't use that bathroom. maybe i bitch to much.. but it looks like i do everything around here except pay the god damn bills. i practicly take care of my 23 year old brother. what the hell is that? he should be out of the house. i spent my whole summer watching my 2 little sisters while my mom and george were at the bar. they "have to be there" yeah fine.. i watched them. but i'm tired of it now. i'm being taken advantage of. i might be pregnant but that doesn't mean shit.

it's just kinda like i'd much rather move out and have to pay my own doctors bills than to stay here, have my mom pay but be a prisioner in my own house. i mean i have 3 places i could go to stay right now. and all of them very serious about me living with them. but i mean; if i left- my mom and george would be screwed.. because their live-in-babysitter wouldn't be here anymore. then what would they do? omg- my mom would actually have to.. spend time with my sisters. pssh. i don't even think she can handle them nagging her all the time anymore. she'd go crazy.

maybe it'd be easier on my mom if i just moved out anyway. nothings been the same ever since she found out i was pregnant anyway. i'm just a big burden she has to deal with. i can move out if i want to- i'm an emancipated adult now that i'm having a baby even though i'm under the age of 18.

i just keep thinking about what i said in the last paragraph over and over.. and i'm not sure what to do. i just need help.

i need a hug and for someone to say it'll be alright. :(

:: 2004 23 August :: 11.28pm

hmmm.. this is odd.

:: 2004 23 August :: 7.58pm

lets recap my day shall we?

my mom backed up into my car when she was leaving for work.

the school gave me the wrong form for my work permit.. which caused for lots of running around between metron and the school.

senate meeting..... ehhh.

went to alpine with ryan to get me some chucks.... but shoe carnival AND meijers didnt have my size in black. just because im a girl it doesnt mean i ONLY want pink or orange... stupid stupid stereotypes.

so we drove all the way to woodland, missed the exit, came back around, GOT there.. bought my shoes and jeans.....

put my car in park in the middle of the intersection on the belt line.. DONT ask. *laughs.

got on the wrong expressway.

got backed up in 5:00 traffic on my way through alpine.

almost smashed into the back of a van.

my power steering went out.

GAH... what a day.

but HEY.. at least i got my shoes.

7 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 23 August :: 5.49pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: bring it on home-Led Zepplin

Hey,

Well, my first day of school was today, and it was really cool, but really lonely at the same time, the blonde bunny is up at the HS, so is Tami and Matt and Jakie and.....well, everyone. the school like doubled in size in terms of ppls, all the food in the whole school was gone by the begenning of 2nd lunch, so me and morg only got chips and a drink. They also took out all the soda, and dont serve meal deals anymore, so that sucks. Heres my schedual.

1st per. Mrs. Gilmore Algebra B
2nd per. Mrs. Castello Science 8
3rd per. Mr. Haskins PE 8
4th per. Mr. Campbell Soc. Stud. 8
5th per. Mrs. Clarkson Lang. Art. 8
6th per. Mr. Boyer Adv. Band
0 per. Mr. Boyer Jazz Band

So, thats my schedual, heres some more pics.
Read more..

Well, Ill keep you updated, if anything goes on, Ill tell you.

l8r
Stevo

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 22 August :: 4.27pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: rebel-Apopdigma Berzerk

Hey all,

Well, so far, everything is going great, Aubrey is getting a hair cut today, and I went to Raging Waters yesterday, I went on drop out 6 times, and got really sunburned. SO...I get to go to school tomorrow, and I get to see my new schedual, I hope I get Mr. Lagualas(sp?) that would be soo cool, as it turns out, my neighbor, Jennifer has Algebra 1 with me, so at least someone I know will be in my class. I have Adv. band, wich, should be fun........NOT no offence, but they suck!! umm.... n/m else to say, my mom is healing really well, and my dad is being an arse hole, but other than that, its been pretty cool. Well, heres a few pics of my pad.
Read more..
Heres a little thing I wrote
TIME
Life moves to fast, if you stop to smell the roses, you miss the brid, but if all you do is pay attention to the bird, you miss the bee. the world is having war for peace, and hating out of love, people are killing for life, and building for destruction. To man, time is a way of life, we take time for granted, for every passing moment without even a breath. eventhough within that minuite, many people dont know it is their last. While for others, it is their first. this is a world where time is short, and people dont even take the time to enjoy it.

Thats all for now, more to come.

Stevo

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 21 August :: 10.00am

ASHLEY:

I FOUND IT!!!! mwah ha ha ha ha...

i sooooooo just won.

*giggles.

and NOW im going to email you proof of me winning!

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 20 August :: 6.17pm

i've decided that i dont like anyone on woohu.. because nobody ever comments unless im depressed or angry. and that annoys me...

wait wait.....

i hate myself. i hate my life. blah, the world is awful. im going to kill myself.

THERE now you can comment!

it doesnt matter when im happy or when things are finally going good, it doesnt matter when i get a new job or become a better christian. no no no no.. but when i want to kill something or am at the point of breaking everyone acts like they care.

conclusion: this just proves that all anyone cares about is drama... which for some reason makes me want to kill each and every one of you. *smiles

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 20 August :: 8.56am

stupid woohu. i just had an entire entry typed out, then accidently pushed escape, which apparantly erases everything.

I HATE WOOHU.

anyways.. to sum up my entry, because now im just annoyed....

yesterday.

put in 2 week notice at arbys.
got the job at metron making 8.72 an hour.... mwah ha ha ha.
worked on schmorgasboard.
ran into stacy, lisa, kate, and kelly. well not literally ran over, i COULD have though, seems how they were running across the road when we saw them.

thats about it. stupid woohu.

7 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 19 August :: 5.08pm
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: bohemiean rapsody- Queen

Hey all,

well, I got back from going to Disney Land last night, I was awesone, we actually went to California adventure, Morg and I went on the tower of terror 9 times, and posed for every picture, it was hallerious!!! we did rock, paper, scissors, and Morg and I pulled out the cell phone, and pretended we were on the phone, it was pretty cool. Well, I have a band gig on Sat, Im going to a Storm game tonight, and I have rehursal tomorrow. Ive been having a coulple of really shitty days, my baby cousin almost died, my mom is gonna have surgery, and my big bro is having an allergic reaction to something. my two best friends arnt talking to me, and hopefully I can fix that, with Aubrey at liest, i dont want to loose her. Well, Im chatting with Christene G, shes pretty kool to talk to, Ill se ya all.

l8r,
Stevo

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

:: 2004 18 August :: 11.34pm

ps. i love you brandi.

:: 2004 18 August :: 11.16pm

im caked in flour, i got in a fight with my mom, i ticked kyle off, i ticked carolyn off, im about to quit my stupid job, i ran a stop sign... yeah.., and i feel like crying.

why cant she just be the mom? why cant she EVER just help me out... just once, not often, but ONCE would be nice.

you stress me out. thats all i can say... you just stress me out, and i hate that you still have that power over me.

schmorgasboard.... what the heck, honestly.

h is gonna kill me.

i am YET to find a good speech topic.

on the bright side.... i went to birch run today and got some awesome clothes. and i got tyson a fairy necklace, which is just wonderful.. and nobody else understands why its wonderful.. it just is.

youth group was fun tonight, i love youth group.

we had a flour war with this other youth group at our church. it was exactly what it sounds like, a flour war. and thats why im caked with flour.

i need to talk to ryan. *cries. but its to late. *cries again. i should just wake you up.... mwah ha ha ha ha.

(*whispers* neeerrrk) *hugs you* *purrrrrrrrr* *laughs all evil like again* *annoys you with my excessive use of the astrics*

anyways... i am WELL due for a shower... this is discusting..... is that how you spell that??... i just dont know.... this is gross... there we go.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 17 August :: 1.47am

dont want no pop.

no pop.

dont want no tea.

no tea.

just want some milk.

moo moo moo moo.

wisconsin milk.

moo moo moo moo.

ahahahahahaha.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 17 August :: 1.32am

ashley and i are having a comment war....

mwah ha ha.

:: 2004 16 August :: 11.16pm

so last night i was up till 3 in the morning talking to ryan and tyson... i love those guys. they really are 2 of my absolute best friends. *hugs them..... but because of THEM.. ahem.. yes you..... i woke up late this morning.... so here is my day... (im kidding loves, it was my fault.... *giggles)

i wake up at 11:40.
im supposed to be to work at 11:30.
i call phyllis, tell her im running late.. she says ok.
my mom calls before i leave, tells me metron wants an interview.
i call metron, set up an interview for tomorrow.
i finally get to the end of the driveway and the explorer stalls, and just stops.
it starts.
i make it to arbys.
phyllis gives me the day off.. which scared me.
i pick up my pictures.
i go to turn out of great day and almost pull out RIGHT in front of somebody.. which i later find out is ryan and his grandparents, which just a little too ironic.... lol... thats just great.. now his grandparents think im a moron.. lol.
i go to beckys.
i call my mom.
we argue.
i call me uncle david, and he tells me my head gasket on my car needs to be replaced.. GREEAAAAT.
i call metron.
go in for an interview.
stalk someone at a certain place with a certain friend... lol.
go home.
go to cindys.
come home.
go to boot camp.
miss alaska.
come home.

bahhhh. why god, why must you test me when im so fragile. im working at it, its going nowhere, why cant i just give up. its like talking to a brick wall...... god please give me strength with this.

i praise god for the friends he's given me. i really do..... esp the ones from youth group, i've bonded with all of them, and they're such amazing people.

i have to work tomorrow, and i need to do my devotions tonight, because i feel extremely burdened.... and i hate that feeling.

i wish ryan was online..... darn you not being online or on my phone till the wee hours of the morning...!

*runs you over with my explorer..... and then giggles.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 16 August :: 3.48pm

hectic crazy day. CRAZY day.

i'll update about it later...

you'll never understand how much you hurt me will you. how can you even stand yourself.

ash.... im not gonna be home tonight till around 10, but i'll try and get online.. otherwise we'll for sure have to talk tomorrow! I miss you!!! lol, we havent even hung out yet. *tears.

*screams........

i got my pictures back today, i had to pay for them.. not suprising.. but they turned out really good.

ok, off to cindys....

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 15 August :: 1.20am

i could get angry after finding out that our whole relationship was based on lies, but instead im going to pray for you. you really dissapoint me sometimes, but i hope that one day you dont wake up and realize you've dissapointed yourself.

340 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 14 August :: 6.44pm
:: Music: none

hey all,

Well, I got back from Morgans from a week there, and it was same all the time, soooo.

Give me 1000 comments in this entry. Or whatever, really. YOU, in particular, don't have to supply the whole 1000, but a tiny contribution would be nice. Then post this in your journal and I'll return the favor.

So this is your chance to spam me with anything! Pictures, lyrics, the word spam over and over. Feel free to tell me something about yourself, or screen your comments. Do whatever you want! It's all up to you.

Okay, so I realize 1000 is a big number so,...just spam away and we'll see what happens. Please entertain me!

I on the phone with Aubrey right now, so Ill ttyl

Stevo

:: 2004 14 August :: 5.32pm

yesterday

work
car breaks down
greenville

blehhh... everything sucked.. except greenville, i got a whole bunch of clothes from pennys.. well.. a whole bunch meaning 2 cords and 4 sweaters... and then i went to get chucks.. but they didnt have them in my size.. which reminded me that the day sucked.. but then we went to applebees.. we being me, becky, and brandi.... and everything was fine. we ate lots of food, laughed alot..... it was just fun.

today sucked, i had to work.... thats never fun.. EVER. especially today. blahhhh.

i now realize that i had no point to this entry except that i had fun shopping last night.

:: 2004 13 August :: 4.12pm

im going shopping today....... *counts down....

i need to blow some money...... *gets excited.

*over uses the astrix

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 13 August :: 8.23am

i have to work today... 2 days after i get back and i have to work... i never would have known if i hadnt called them last night... im so angry. before i left work was devouring my life, every day i worked at either arbys or cindys, and i had time for nothing else, no church, no friends, no devotions, no anything. if that starts up again im gonna quit, because the summer i turned 16 i'll always remember as miserable... thats NOT how this years gonna be.

in alaska they told us that when we got home satan was going to try and attack us with all our weak points, make us to busy for devotions... and things ya'll just wouldnt understand.... i guess i didnt think he'd attack me with all my weak points all at once.

but i have somebody to talk to, someone who will help me realize that its ok to hurt, but that i dont have to hurt alone...... i love having that feeling.

today im going to greenville after i get out of work and im getting black chucks, 2 pairs of cords and 2 sweater things..... i dont really care about school shopping that much... im not gonna be finished by the time school starts, big deal.

i think im losing it for woohu, i want to stop using it. nobody cares if you write an entry and you're happy. the only reason you get comments is if you're really angry and someone thinks they can twist what you said around on themselves and start a conflict. or if you're really depressed, then they comment just to find out whats going wrong in your life. why does everyone feel the need to feed off negativity?

i have to bring jessie to the groomers... or as becky my dear would say....

*high pitched undescribable voice*
"jess-jess go bye-bye to goomers!!!"

*laughs.... i love you beck.
smorgasboard.3 weeks.perfect.

*screams........

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 12 August :: 2.11am
:: Mood: loved

xx interrupted (2:07:14 AM): i need you. :-P
pouncer was here (2:07:33 AM): you got me;-)
xx interrupted (2:09:10 AM): do i got you forrrrever?
pouncer was here (2:09:39 AM): absolutely

i <3 you baby.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 11 August :: 5.20pm

oh yeah... i got a car.. forgot to update about that.... im pretty excited.

its a black cutless supreme.. power everything. seats, mirrors, moon roof, antenna. keyless start/entry, controls on steering wheel, climate control, cruise control..... its got all these fun things to play with! and the best part is that i bought it.. i did... with money that I earned. it feels so good.... when i got to the church this morning it was just sitting there waiting for me... well.. not sitting... its not an animal... but it was sooo exciting. yeeaaah.. err.... for me anyways... now im realizing that its probably not exciting for youuu........ so ok... i'll go then..

i've never been treated like how you treat me.... i'll treasure you forever. im so incredibly glad we got so many chances to talk, i really feel blessed to have you in my life, nobody has ever cared about me, and i mean GENUINLY cared like you do.. and its evident. i just wanted you to know how much i appreciate you.

nerk.... hahahahaha

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 11 August :: 3.06pm

i'm home... well, im "house".. and im ok with that.

that was the best experience i could have ever possibly had at this point in my life...

im finished with everything.... im starting over. things will change... and now i know that when satan feeds me a lie i can claim it.. and that is an awesome feeling.

i've bonded with almost every person in my youth group..... i cant even begin to explain everything that happend on our trip.. so im not gonna try.

im smiling for the first time in a long time.. genuinly smiling.

:: 2004 10 August :: 9.40pm
:: Mood: anxious

so i regestered at baby depot [burlington] and target..

target

baby depot

you just have to type in my name to see them: Jena Pust my list will come up.

make sure you take a look!