:: 2005 13 September :: 12.04 am

"I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week"

I love PJ. thats about all there is to post about
matt whetzel that number i told you about for potrait studio is 18004380894
call that shit up

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:: 2005 12 September :: 5.05 pm

Hell, Ive got nothing to do I might just as well update this bs.
School is school.
The only difference between college and high school is that you have less time to do things and your teachers dont nag you about it.
It sucks.
Im so tired because there isnt anyone to tell me to go to bed at a reasonable hour and so i dont, not to mention that I work until 11:30 most nights.\
I have a rough draft due tomorrow for the worst job Ive ever had.
KFC duh.
but i want to do a good job since this is my first paper. ive been working on it slowly and steadily I just cant get into it though. and even though its a rough draft you cant just bs it like people say, the thing about writing is that if you get one done in what you would call perfect and then look at it tomorrow its going to be completely different than it was yesterday, so while Im happy with what Ive got today, there will always be revisions tomorrow, that being said you want to do a good rough draft that way your have the best final possible. I care about this stuff I really do, which is pretty much more than I can say for high school. or maybe its because I was really proud of my high school papers and then Leo went and shot them all up and said that college writing is completely different. I dont know I hate it that what he says is so important to me. I barely know him for gods sake. On that not Im broke as croke but its cool cuz now I make 8.05 an hour and that my friends is not that bad for a college chick.
I'm thinking sometimes though as i walk around that I was totally made for college. Honestly I have made no friends from college, well Ive got Kaylee, my roomate, Leo and Gareth, Leo's roomate. but I dont see them too often especially leo now thats hes had surgery, anyway I dont care about it, Im not insecure at all. In high school if I was walking alone I just felt completely alone, I dont feel that here at all. Im alone but its isnt lonely, its independence. Im pretty sad though because I do feel like im pushing my high school friends away for no good reason. or vice versa. Only I understand what my deal was with jay and I would like to talk to you about that, one on one, not on woohu because frankly its no ones business but our own. I finally realized that life is changing and you know what? I am totally ready to deal with that.
i had a dream last night that I think really pushed that past. Reed was grand valleys softball coach and I didnt try out for the team but then halfway through the season I was like crying and begging for him to let me play, this dream though had absolutely nothing to do with softball though it was about the comfort of something that I know. Like I love my team so so so much. I miss them all which is a total switch from last years attitude but I miss them and I would give just about anything to have that back which is why when I tried out for a team of completely different people and a new coach and something completely unfamiliar I fucked it up. subconsious you understand. But honestly whatever. I dont care at all. i want to go to school and be with pj and live my life to the fullest I dont want to have to worry about softball all year long. Ill join an intramural then I can have my own life too. I dont want something to dominate my life so fully.
Good for me for quitting before I made a commitment to anyone I mean really.
this post is all shit grammaticaly. and all spelled wrong and I dont really care. Im so damn content.

3 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 11 September :: 11.25 am

graduated with
kelly
kevin
larissa hererra
joslyn
matt
matty
Jay
dani
jenna
liz
jejuan

thats really about it, if your not on that list and you think you should be then put forth some effort. because honestly i just dont care anymore and there are the select few that i still would like to be friends with but its just not happening. so yeah. thats my list of people that I graduated with that I care about and think about on a daily basis.

14 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 11 September :: 12.44 am

I just got out of work. it was good. pj is here. I love him. Im so glad he got his shit together.
*yells im so glad you got your shit together*
he is making me some food right now. college is cool. I love it. Im so glad to be out of cedar and away from 99% of the people i graduated with. I mean honestly im in contact with like 3 people and as far as the rest well, there are the few that I would miss but we acknowledge our missings. for example dani and jenna who i try to post on and visit when possible. funny how my favorite friend from high school now is a person who i didnt even hang out with in high school. also funny how the people who i marveled at and thought were so cool are really just assholes. not even worth my time. I really admired some of them and for completely the wrong reasons.
Im really ready to close this chapter of my life. move on and be a better person because of it. yeah all set to go.

4 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 8 September :: 6.29 pm

I think that my biggest pet peeve of the day is flip flops.
i really hate them. they are a sad excuse for a shoe actually. they cover nothing but the bottom of the foot and a little v that makes a stupid tan line.
also then i have to see your feet and feet are ugly.
Also the scrapping sound that they make as they dont pick up off the ground.
like your just dragging your feet. it drives me effing crazy and everyone has them, men woman. I have about 48 pairs of shoes and no flip flops.
yeah you can live without. I will donate pairs of real shoes for those who have only flip flops. there are people who have a pair of flip flops to go with every outfit. craziness.
ahh i hate them.

9 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 8 September :: 2.10 am

yet another interesting and fun great night.
matt is cool.
i am tired
a late night to say the least
class at nine presents itself as hell.
crap.
I do love pj a whole lot though.

2 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 8 September :: 12.57 am

"you are teh cool
you r hott
ryan that is,
red hair is hott"
the coolest kid in the world wrote that on some guys board then knocked on the door and ran away at 12:58
asshats.
then I giggled like tee hee hee

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:: 2005 7 September :: 5.44 pm

Sometimes i really wonder why i bother.
Today may have been the worst day of my life.
First I went to see Leo and that tore me up because seeing someone so young and strong like just laying there in bed with nothing going on just being there disturbs me to no end. Like i was so upset when I left.
So then class which I feel asleep in again.
Then ha the event of the day which I've really been looking forward to....SOFTBALL TRYOUTS.
WOOOOHHH
Well I fucked those up royally. I got there and my nerves cracked wide open all over the field. I didn't talk to anyone I just stood there and was lonely. I missed every fucking pop fly he hit me, I struck out twice on live. Not just like regular strikeouts either like standing there taking the third pitch. I stood there in shock after the second one and the coach was like um your out.
I felt like shit I still feel like shit. I fucking cannot believe it at all. I want to die. A lot. I don't even want to go back. I wasn't sure If I even wanted to play and now I don't want to see any of those people again. Im so fucking upset. I love that game so damn much and Im so much better than that. How could I just stand there. Honestly.
I had walked over and I just cried the entire way back to my dorm and I was so humiliated. and of course if that weren't enough oh no I locked my damn self out of my room. for fucks sake. I just need something cheeseburgery and delicious. GRRR.
I love pj though.

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:: 2005 7 September :: 1.26 am

I feel bad cuz there's not like...a midget alliance you know

2 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 7 September :: 1.19 am

"you, my friend, are one hot liquid orgasm"

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:: 2005 6 September :: 1.23 pm

I think that today is one of those days where Im super ass bored.
Ive got some homework to do, and beyond belief fact or fiction is on, but im due for a huge ass entry.
so lets start back shall we
+PJ came here on thursday and hasnt left until a little while ago.
It was greatness. sleeping together every night. feeling him pressed against me when I fall asleep finding him looking at me when i wake up. honestly I can think of nothing in the world that makes me feel any better than that.
I love my love.
Then there is wal-mart.
it sucks. Ive had to do layaway. I fucking hate layaway but a couple of nights ago my manager approached me and asked if i would like to move over to toys.
Yay toys.
Generally it would be a pay cut but there is a way around that and he is going to try to work it out, because I wont go there if i have to lose money. i mean really toys right before christmas, ha.
but im really glad that they approached me, it makes me feel like my hard work is appreciated.
yay.then this wednesday is softball tryouts-
thats something that makes me awfully nervous.
im not counting on too much but well, if i dont try then ill never know.
I refuse to live a life of regret and what ifs.
well at least as far as softball is concerned.
i wasnt going to try out because it might mean quitting my job and living off my parents for awhile and thats exactly what i dont want, but my parents got pissed when i told them that, and my dad was like "if we didnt want to cover you for awhile we wouldnt have offered. just try out and if you make it then we will discuss it later"
yeah, i have pretty good parents.
im getting pretty nervous right about now though, im going to talk to the coach tomorrow in the morning, i tried on friday but he wasnt in his office.
whatever.
and outside of that. i guess there isnt much.
college is cool still. my roomate has been gone since thursday, i miss pj already.
but class tomorrow and lots of homework to do.
blah.
loves.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 6 September :: 12.34 pm

im really glad that I dont have school today, suckers.
lol no not really,
but sleeping is good.
as are spicy chicken strips

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:: 2005 4 September :: 10.18 am

I was just reading some woohu stuff and I know Im guilty of it, but now Im done with it, all that back and forth bullshit.
Just grow up everybody, throwing insults back and forth, if you have a problem with somebody just tell them or get the fuck over it. honestly. the post I just read with the comments included really just kinda ruined my day. I don't know, I think maybe it's because one of the people involved is someone who used to be a pretty good friend and then she did something that crushed all of my respect for her. Maybe that makes me a little bit more pissed than I was before. I can't believe how much everything has changed in the last couple of years.

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:: 2005 4 September :: 12.06 am

Well I replaced my phone for $60 which isnt too bad only I lost all my ringtones, so then I bought 4 more and accidentally hit the source ringtones, so now i have 4 tones that have to be rap or hip hop- teh suck
but in better better awesome news I got "promoted"
I am not longer a cashier but a floor worker, in toys.
SO effing cool.
toys suck especially right now when Christmas is just around the corner but thats life and being a cashier sucks too.
So at least on the floor i will have more freedom and I will get more money.
So there, plus I will have better hours according to the manager who approached me and asked me to move up.
that makes me so excited that they recognize me for the good worker that I am and in less than 3 months they move me up.
FUCK YOU KFC!!!
I love it.
wal-mart is cool.
hehe

3 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 3 September :: 12.26 pm

I was so upset that I forgot to push 9, hence the reason that my room phone doesnt work, and then i called my mom, who said go to verizon and see what they can do, and then call me.
shes a good mom.
fuck. though its going to cost a lot, more than ive got for sure.
i dont need this right. now.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star