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2004 25 June :: 9.35 am
If I could be anyone in the world I would like to be someones immeasurable. that is the person that everyone has. one person who no one can measure up to. in one persons eyes that person is perfect. pj has one. her name is michelle, shes his best friend, it usually is the best friend by the way anyway, the point here is that I am very threatened by this michelle, what if she wakes up and sees what shes missing. how great pj is. this scares me so much. i have an immeasurable myself and if he were to tell me that he wanted me well i could tell you what I would do. nothing because as of PJ he isnt immeasurable anymore but I think and im only speculating that michelle still is. and im really jealous but like yesterday for example we were getting pictures to hang up at pjs open house and there was one of him and michelle and he was like that one HAS to go out there. and i was like i don't know but it really like bothered me like i was hurt and wanted to cry sorta thing. its pretty horrible. someone tell me im being oversensitive. eeehh. i have to stop now cuz i love him so much.
3 stars caught |
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2004 25 June :: 8.58 am
:: Mood: loved
brr and yawn. im cold and tired, duh.
yeah i want some sour gummy worms right now and its 856 in the morning. i need to go back to bed. I love pj. alot and it gets more and more every day. 2 months now yay for me thats a record for me at least this entire relationship is a record.
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2004 23 June :: 2.26 pm
I am bummed
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2004 21 June :: 11.28 pm
oh boy im tired but im at moms and i cannot sleep. im just tired and I want to go home. blah. in the morning.
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2004 21 June :: 10.39 pm
oh no i did it this time
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2004 21 June :: 10.15 pm
hey pj this is only the 5th one of the day.
so ha
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2004 21 June :: 7.37 pm
MY fucking song
My Best friend hates me
My good friend bangs me then leaves me out to dry
My eyes are red, my hair is tangled
I just want to die.
One day im gonna get away
Away from you and the way you make me feel
One day after im gone
your gonna look back and know that this was real
But until then i just want to die
My grades are falling and i keep
crawling around your feet hoping yourll see me too
I go to work and my boss is a jerk
But i cant quit man I feel like shit Ill tell you now how this is gonna go down.
One day im gonna get away
Away from you and the way you make me feel
one day after im gone your gonna look back and know that this was real
but until then I just wanna die
So take this knife and cut me
all I want is for you to feel the way i do
But that wont happen so while we sit here laughing
Im hurting inside
you dont care
and i just want to die
I just want to die
Dudes I wrote this soooo long ago. I just went kinda skimmed my journal. I am such an emotional rollercoaster. and this particular emotion has been following me forever but not anymore. this was during the chris era I think. and I wrote about pj in like october. I liked him back then too. oh lord. I like to look back and see how much ive changed. eeehh I love you guys.
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2004 21 June :: 6.07 pm
yay is me. I am good and happy. only I kinda wish I was with pj right now because I love him. but i love my mom too. only I wanted to see becca really bad but she is at her dads for the week so Im really really bummed about that. I love my sister so much. i haven't seen her since christmas. sadness. mixed with the goodness.
1 stars caught |
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2004 21 June :: 3.54 pm
Im at my moms. yay
I miss pj though.
I love him remember.
eh Ill get over it. I get to see him tomorrow and he gets to see what I did for him
hell be excited I think. I feel so good. yayayayayayayyayyyayyayyayyayyayy
2 stars caught |
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2004 18 June :: 11.10 am
oh god im in love, and I love it and its pretty sad cuz im liz and im not supposed to feel, and i had always heard something about being in love and now i know that its true.
1 stars caught |
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2004 16 June :: 1.13 pm
"Photograph"
Huh!
I'm outa luck, outa love
Gotta photograph, picture of
Passion killer, you're too much
You're the only one I wanna touch
I see your face every time I dream
On every page, every magazine
So wild so free so far from me
You're all I want, my fantasy
Oh, look what you've done to this rock 'n' roll clown
Oh Oh, look what you've done
Photograph - I don't want your
Photograph - I don't need your
Photograph - All I've got is a photograph
But it's not enough
I'd be your lover, if you were there
Put your hurt on me, if you dare
Such a woman, you got style
You make every man feel like a child
You got some kinda hold on me
You're all wrapped up in mystery
So wild so free so far from me
You're all I want, my fantasy
Oh, Look what you've done to this rock'n'roll clown
Oh Oh, Look what you've done
[Repeat chorus]
You've gone straight to my head
2 stars caught |
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2004 16 June :: 12.25 pm
My GPA is at 3.609. no longer 2.9ish. my parents might love me again and that is good news. if we dont look at my exam grades of course.
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2004 16 June :: 12.21 pm
im kinda scared
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2004 16 June :: 12.05 pm
so Im making lunch and I tell my sister to come get her share she dosen't so Im all mandy Im gonna eat her lunch unless she comes and gets it, then I was like well you dont need it you just sit in front of the tv all day and she gets angry and says.
ILL GET MY EXCERCISE BY KICKING THE CRAP OUTTA YOU!!!
It was hilarious. I love my sister shes so stupidly funny. holy cow.
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