:: 2004 9 June :: 11.31 am

> WARNING

Liz is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

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:: 2004 9 June :: 11.30 am

Informationi

Lizzy is a restricted area. Authorised personel only

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:: 2004 9 June :: 9.20 am

*sigh* well i feel tons better thanks to justin jay and josie and pj cuz I finally talked to him. in case your wondering I called him. twice.
first i talked to him and I didnt feel as though anything was accomplished cuz it was like hey hey well later bye. then i called back and like poured my heart out. and he calmed me down and made me feel all better cuz thats what he does. and that is why I adore him so much. Im not sure when Illl see him again cuz we are both really busy but whatever. I am happyness again. so later. loves and hugs

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:: 2004 8 June :: 5.21 pm

God its so hard. cuz I want to call him but I can't because I want him to call me first. cuz im like that. this is really eating me alive. I know that I don't have anything to worry about so then why am I worrying so much. Im like willing him to call. And Im trying so hard not to be impulsive but I can't help it, its just the way I am. Guys youve got to help me. I just dont know anymore. I can't spend my days like this. I feel like shit. I was on top of the world and now Im like eh. blah. Please please please this has got to stop. Im sure that its a big deal right now but eventually it will be stupid and insignificant. But i wont call his house cuz Im pretty sure that his parents hate me. OH god im gonna start crying. I need someone. anyone only ill just bring you down. I need some drugs thats what I need.. only he would be so mad if he found out that i was doing drugs. DAMN IT LIZZY. Okay I think im ranted enough. no not really but i have to stop doing this to myself. cuz its really killing me. Okay im going to stop being a chicken and call him then hope to god that his parents dont answer. man oh man.
I hope that boy knows how much I love him.

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:: 2004 8 June :: 5.12 pm

I never knew that I could be so scared and now I am. and I dont know why. well I know why but I dont want to be irrational. oh god im so neurotic

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:: 2004 8 June :: 9.17 am

Yesterday I was on top of the world and now im scared to lose him. Oh god why did this stupid shit happen. I love him so much.
DAMN IT.

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:: 2004 7 June :: 1.28 pm

its only when you are lying on a couch in someones arms, you lean up to kiss him and he pulls you tighter and you know that you never want him to let you go. only then can you truly say that you are happy and more in love than ever. and by the way he holds you so close and so tight you know he feels the same way.




sigh* if he could always be around forever I would be peaches and cream
see when I broke up with james because he was clingy I thought wow im messed up and justin told me that most people are clingy and stuff but now its not clingy to be around him all the time . I want to be. because I love him so much.
why did it take so long to get here. I dont know but im here now and (quoting mcdonalds) Im lovin it.

Oh no I might cry. Ive never cried so much in my life because of a guy I cry when hes mad at me I cry when he makes me happy. I cry just because hes there. and somehow this is good news.

yayness.




oh senior pics on sunday. I got new clothes for them. Yay

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:: 2004 5 June :: 10.10 am

hey im at my moms now. Yay.
Everything is cool so far.
also yay.
anyway ive got about nothing to say besides that.
loves and hugs

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:: 2004 4 June :: 8.19 pm

Goodness Gracious me. Its friday the day after the last day of school.
im tired
we had a yard sale today .and josie and poptart and justy came over
then I went swimming at justins. im tired adn thinking abotu going to bed cuz the sonner i go to bed the sooner morning is which means that 1 I get to be with PJ and 2 I get to see my mom and lots of my family who i love so much. and miss. Umm I get to be and umpire at the shaner games and that is awesome. Im in such a good mood. I got my car back freaking finally right? and so besides that nothing is new. well my attitude is new. I just um I dont know how to explain it really you know how you can just be so enamored with someone. I dont really know how I got it but I am enjoying every minute of it. anyway my mom is bitching abotu tying up the phone line. men whatever, loves and hugs

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:: 2004 10 May :: 8.08 pm

could i seriously be any happier I dont believe that I can. everything is going my way. softball, my grades, pj, EVERYTHING my family is even getting along. and my dad paid for the spark plugs I love you daddy. and the disk pj made me which only a select few of you know about. who cares. Im falling.
so bad. I love it. lets keep everything good.
I love you guys too. yay for me.
loves and hugs

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:: 2004 9 May :: 12.09 pm

Okay Happy Mothers day all you Mothers.
haha so im all excited about lots of stuff
im getting senior pics soon and thats exciting because Ive been waiting for those for ever cheetch is doing those. hes a friend of the family guy. Im pretty excited hes a pro and hes really good so itll be cool
also i absolutely adore pj.
hes awesomeness
hehe
im all giggly now
softball is good the second game on friday rocked we won. of course. I played
Hellz yeah. thats really all ive got.
i work in four hours and im gonna go have a hot pocker. also im in severe amounts of pain right now and I just want to stab myself. but im happy and im going ot miss jimi soo so so much

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:: 2004 5 May :: 8.30 pm

so im incredibly tired.
softball sucked because we lost and because in the last inning when i was on deck reed tells me that he is putting kayla wagner in for me. now this is not cool. because most of my softball confidence comes from my hitting. so im all pissed then smith and reed give us speeches right? Im all freaking inside my head because. im like crying. misting i should say. anyway Im still pissed about the whole like i dont get to play first thing because you know that is what ive worked for and I dont feel as though I am working up to my full potential and of the 18 or so people there the only people to notice like how insanely upset I am are charlie and larissa. possibly sarah. and charlie is the only one to approach me about it. and in the end he really made me feel better. so that was my day and so although i dont fully accept the first base thing only because Ive worked so hard for it and dont feel its fair for al to come out of nowhere and get to play there. at least im playing. but i dont know. Im glad charlie is there cuz hes the only coach who I never hate. the other ones press my nerves because they arent very indiscreet about playing favorites. but thats my softball bitch for the day. in the end I love it too much to quit or do anything rash. and Im no quitter anyway.
loves and hugs Lizzy

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:: 2004 3 May :: 9.06 pm

I wanted to say that I changed
I am no longer Liz, the stoner, or the felon. or any of the bad things I used to be. I am above that and I hope that people can forgive me for all the bad things Ive done because its really hard for me to forgive myself. im finding some peace now. so yeah forgiveness guys past transgressions GONE.
Loves and hugs.
Lizzy

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:: 2004 3 May :: 8.58 pm

I am so infatuated.
and happy. and all sorts of other great feelings that all link back to my awesome awesome boyfriend.
say yah if you have the greatest boyfriend in the world oh wait thats only me.
anywho home life sucks
my dad is doing this thing where he trys to take visitations from my mom and now mom is trying to get me to move in with her which is not going to happen my senior year and i was talking to pj about it and he said well you cant move cuz then i wont see you adn i will die. a little over the top for sure but still makes me feel great. ahh hes greatness. but thats not all the rest well im keeping it all to myself because i dont want to spoil what I finally have after all the bullshit i put up with with the other boyfriends. gah. hey kevin if you read this. up with the casual friend sex my friend. lol

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:: 2004 29 April :: 8.48 pm

yoh. im tired
we lost our game we are losers. but who cares. at least we play. im just whip tired though. im gong out with pj tomorrow and hanging out at his house and im uber excited. i adore him. alot. i could go for some coke and icecream come to think of it. so yeah the parents like him ALOT they tolerated the others but they really like him. TRUST him they havent even talked to his parents but i still get to go to his house which is odd. cuz usually they want to talk to the other parents to keep the sex on the down low and what. but no they trust him which is good cuz they dont trust me. oooohhhh im excited. laters. loves and hugs.
Lizzy

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