just in case you were looking to buy some beginner drums:

i figure a 5 piece set (snare, bass, and three toms) is standard rock drums. 4 piece (only 2 toms) is more of a jazz thing. but if you get the 5, you can always just pull one off, and bam, 4 piece. so i'd recommend 5.

now that an arrangement is settled upon, there are only a few key factors that make one set different from (better than) another:
-shells (wood type, number of plies, construction methods)
-hardware (lugs, rims, pedals, stands, and mounting brackets)
-heads
-cymbals

as far as shells go, most starter kits are a mixture of birch and whatever else they have lying around in the factory. for your purposes, i doubt it will matter. but if you want something that will be durable, stay reasonably tuned, and sound good enough for a practice set, i would go with no less than 6-ply, regardless of what kind of wood it is. preferably 8 or more, especially on the bass and snare drums (unless it's a steel snare, which is fine too. wood sounds nicer, but steel is usually a little cheaper).

hardware. now, this one here is a bitch. because it's hard to tell online how sturdy or rattly or user-friendly the hardware is. as a general rule, you get what you pay for. which means, in the $400-500 range, it's probably gonna be pretty chinsy. there's pretty much no way around that, other than spending more money, which is obviously not an option. you're just gonna have to deal. my personal opinion: pearl, gretsch and ludwig are going to have the best hardware. i would stick to those. i don't have enough experience with ddrums to know for sure, but i'll give them the benefit of the doubt. they're probably right there with tama or pacific/PDP, which is also fine. but i would stick to the main brands. they are tried and true, and have enough experience to make decent drums on the cheap.

factory heads are always crap. i say let the boy beat the hell out of 'em until they are dead. at which point i can help you pick out some better quality replacements.

the story is similar on cymbals. if it's an entry-level set that includes cymbals in the package, it'll likely be near to banging on trash can lids. again, just beat 'em up, and when it comes time for new ones, i can help you shop around. the only problem is that some of these sets do not come with cymbals. i would almost prefer this, just so you could pick out something a little better from a company that does cymbals specifically (it's more art than science), but this will add on to the overall expense, as it is above and beyond the cost of the set itself.

here's what i found:
Ludwig Accent - http://www.zzounds.com/item--LUDLC125
this guy is pretty solid. the measurements are average: 22" bass, 14" snare, 12" 13" and 16" toms. sometimes they'll have a 14" instead of 13", but that's less common. i like that the stands are double-braced. the other hardware is decent. it doesn't tell you how thick the shells are, but i'm guessing 6 ply all around. all in all it's $400 for absolutely everything you need other than sticks and cymbals. and on the side they have a feature that says for $560 you can get some beginner zildjian cymbals to go along with it. yeah, it's $160 for a pair of hats and a crash/ride, but that's really not too bad, considering. paiste also makes some good cymbals at reasonable prices, but they won't be any better or cheaper than this package deal.

DDrums D2 - http://www.zzounds.com/item--DEPD2
this one will probably be the most attractive to you, as it is a self-contained setup, including cymbals, for $400. i don't have any personal experience with this brand, and can pretty much guarantee the cymbals are garbage, but hey. it's drums, it's cheap. i think it would serve your purposes plenty well enough, although i would consider it a step down from the ludwig. cymbals and heads can always be upgraded later, and this at least is a decent foundation to start from. Note: 9 ply mahogany is an interesting choice. definitely durable, maybe not as resonant. also, this has a 10-12-16 tom arrangement, instead of the 12-13-16 mentioned earlier. nothing wrong with that, just different. the more i look at this set, the more i like it.

Ludwig Pinnacle - http://www.zzounds.com/item--LUDP5K
this is another ludwig set. which means the hardware is exactly the same as the $400 set. why does it cost $450, then? because the shells are slightly beefier, and made out of a different kind of wood. and because this one includes some trashy cymbals. but, once again, it's a good foundation, and you've got the whole shabang, ready to rock for under five benjamins.

my feelings won't be hurt if you choose something else, but those were the strongest contenders i could find. and hopefully you feel comfortable enough now to know what sort of things you need to be looking for in order to find the right match for you.

by the same token, sticks are a very intimate part of the experience, and there's no right or wrong choice. you just have to go into a music store, get your hands dirty, and figure out what feels good to you. lately i've been coming back to the vic firth SD1s, which i hadn't used since i bought my first pair back in middle school. but they're a nice middle of the road stick, with a short taper and a ball tip. and it's what most classically trained drummers would have their students start out on. i like wood tips, as i feel they're less prone to breakage, but nylon tips sound much better on the cymbals. i just have this problem with nylon tips shattering and flying off, rendering an otherwise healthy stick useless, unless you have tomato plants or something to use them in. could just be me though.

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