life
my diploma and transcripts finally came in the mail today.

i only made the dean's list 3 semesters out of 8. but i graduated from both the college of liberal arts and sciences and the honors college in good standing, fulfilled all the requirements for the film and video major, and finished with 121 credits and a 3.364 GPA.

which means, basically, that i spent the last 4 years of my life spending thousands of dollars and hours upon hours on 4 sheets of paper telling me ... what?

that i still have to shovel dirt for a living, and not even manage to scrape by without a lot of financial support from friends and family? funny though, the papers don't say anything about that part. They honestly paint what, to the untrained eye, would be a picture of a successful young man with a bright future and a world of opportunities. when in actuality he is just a loser with no real job, a fair amount of debt, not a lot of excitement, and way too many nights - and days - stuck at home to sit and think. that's a very dangerous place to put a mind like mine. it rarely goes happy places. honestly, the only way my brain seems to be able to keep itself happy is when it has plenty of distractions, and people to entertain. otherwise, it just turns dark.

then again, maybe i just feel dark because it's all rainy and miserable outside. i wish it would just fucking storm. that would be a lot more exciting than this drizzly crap.

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