mudpiegrl
|
::
2006 10 May :: 9.18pm
Know what I love? Pressure. It’s awesome. Of course there’s the whole “do well in school” that everyone has. At least I’m in school, though, as opposed to some people. Then there’s the “you don’t do anything”. That’s fun, too, because when you’re never home, you’re clearly doing nothing. “You’re so messy. Why don’t you clean?” I’m sorry, am I impeding on your space? “When are you going to go running, Jorie?” Fuck you. I’m allowed to be a fat ass. After all, you are too. “You’re wearing that?” Yes, I am. I either don’t care or quite like it. Besides, I’m too fat for your fasionista attitude. “Hanging out with Q and Kristen are not going to help you get better.” Maybe not, but they’re my friends if it’s ok with you. “Don’t you have any friends at college?” No. I don’t like people at college. They have entirely different priorities, like being famous and experimenting with drugs and high school drama. “You’re not trying hard enough.” You’re right. I’m not. I’d love to spend all day doing artwork, but I have no means to experiment with the mediums I want. Nor do I have the time for it. “How are you going to pay for that?” With my money. From my job. That I actually have. “You’re never home.” Yea, I’m busy. “When are you going go-carting with us?” When I have a moment to be home/do homework/art/lose weight/clean my room and car. When I’m done with all that.
I love my family. They want me to be just like Tyler. They know damn well when he was eighteen he wasn’t doing shit. They don’t want me to be like him. They want me to be like twenty-five year old Tyler. Well, that’s nice and all, but I'm not Tyler. I'm Jorie. And I'm sorry that I'm not what you want. I'm not sorry I'm me for me. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect clone.
I'm sick of crying. I've cried nearly every hour of the day today. And I'm tired. I want to sleep.
I think im broken
|
angel_bob
|
::
2006 8 May :: 11.56pm
I'm supposed to pick up Nick from work. He said he'd call me 45 minutes before they were going to be done.
It's almost midnight. I'm tired.
And worried.
I love you all.
2 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
angel_bob
|
::
2006 7 May :: 8.49pm
Summer's barely started and I'm already bored.
I'm playing LOZ: Ocarina of Time again because it is a fun game and it's something to do.
Maybe I'll actually beat Majora's Mask and Wind Waker.
That would be fun.
I'm also reading this book on France that Nick bought for me. Every chapter or so, I have to stop reading and make myself stop freaking out so it's slow going. However, it is a very informative read.
It still freaks me out.
In other news, I want babies.
I love you all.
2 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
Angel_Bob
|
::
2006 5 May :: 12.19pm
I watched Good Bye, Lenin! the other day.
It was good.
Except Yann Tiersen is a lazy ass and reused one of his songs from Amelie.
1 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
Angel_Bob
|
::
2006 4 May :: 10.00pm
Well. I am a sophomore now.
I don't even know about France anymore. It's just too much money. We can't even afford the $500 "down payment" due tomorrow.
I don't even know if I want to go. It's just going to be more money that I feel guilty about my parents spending.
Ignore me, I'm on the rag.
I will be working 12-5 on Wednesdays, 9-5 on Thursdays and 9-4:30 on Fridays until I get another job then I'll hopefully be working every day.
I'm going to get my car fixed this weekend (or at least get an estimate on the cost of such fixing).
"Singing" while driving makes me happy.
2 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
Angel_Bob
|
::
2006 4 May :: 8.27am
Today, I have my last exam.
Then I will be done with my first year of college.
Wow.
1 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
angel_bob
|
::
2006 2 May :: 9.45pm
The man behind Neutral Milk Hotel, Jeff Mangum, is a genius.
Pedro the Lion is also a genius. You've got to admit that the rhythm and timing of Rapture perfectly captures sex.
I think im broken
|
|
mudpiegrl
|
::
2006 2 May :: 3.02pm
ugh. just like everyone else, am stressy. school ends next week and i have so much i should be doing rather than typing in here, but im not right now because i just got home from school and im tired. i have to finish my costume and get patrice's bday present before friday. i also want to go get new clothes but that wont happen until next paycheck. but also, we need to look for apts. patrices mummy is being nice and looking for us, so that's helpful. im going to ask brittany/yoshi/joey and q if they want to live with us because amanda decided not to and patrice is okie with it. that would make things cheaper, assuming they have jobs and could pay the rent.
in other news, i was called a neanderthal last night, see my xanga for more extensive info.
oh yea. i really want to lose some weight this summer. i really packed it on this winter.
2 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
angel_bob
|
::
2006 1 May :: 10.00pm
I want to drive my car.
3 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
Angel_Bob
|
::
2006 30 April :: 5.54pm
The Dumbing Down of Love by Frou Frou was played on this past week's episode of Bones.
It made me giddy with recognition tingles.
That is a good song.
I love you all.
2 broke me |
I think im broken
|
xsilentxsuicidex
|
::
2006 30 April :: 5.13pm
here's to waking up next to you.
I think im broken
|
|
Angel_Bob
|
::
2006 29 April :: 10.55am
So, my mom didn't realize it was a sleep-in so it looks like I'm not going.
1 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
angel_bob
|
::
2006 29 April :: 10.03am
I don't know how much of you know about the "nightwalkers," the tens of thousands of children in Uganda who "fear abduction by the Lord's Resistance Army, leave their villages every day to seek refuge in town before nightfall."
There's a nationwide sleep-in protest planned for today and one of the locations is here in Grand Rapids.
Hannah and I are going, so if you want to come too, call me before 6 tonight. Here are the details. They tell you what to bring and stuff.
Some people are walking from GVSU/Allendale to this thing and, rumor has it, some people are walking from Hope/Holland too. The goal is to walk at least a mile so you're commuting (a little bit) like the nightwalkers. I think the people I'm meeting up with (Emily) are going to walk from Aquinas.
Oh, it's at Rosa Park's Circle, I don't think I mentioned that.
If you want to come, call me before 6 tonight.
I love you all.
3 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
Angel_Bob
|
::
2006 28 April :: 5.24pm
It's Friday!
Today my sister has her choir dinner theatre. I'm excited. She said the choreography is horrid so I'm looking forward to laughing with her. Or at her. Ha ha. She's a good sport.
I am hot. Wink wink, nudge nudge. It is very warm and beautiful outside. I am excited for spring. However, I am quite distraught because all the trees in my yard are the only kind of trees that don't have leaves on them right now.
The kids who're in France right now are coming back on the 28th of May. So it looks like I will be gone for 5 months. I'm going to France! Sometimes I forget all about it and it just surprises me. I am scared shitless. I will be GOING TO SCHOOL in a FOREIGN COUNTRY where all the classes will be taught in a language OTHER THAN THE ONE I HAVE BEEN SPEAKING SINCE BIRTH and one that I have FIVE YEARS of experience in. Yeah, I'm freaked out.
Lalalala.
I have exams next week and then I am done with my first year of college. Excitement!
I love you all.
P.S. Jessa, now I see what you mean about his family. She's being a poopyhead and you should just kill kick her. I was going to leave her a nasty message but that wouldn't be nice. I'm trying to resist the temptation.
3 broke me |
I think im broken
|
|
mudpiegrl
|
::
2006 27 April :: 3.20pm
I am so happy that Patrice is my friend. She basically rocks. Much better at rocking she is than me.
Poor me. If only I could be as rocking.
Oh well, I'll have to live my life one day of Peter Frampton after another.
I think im broken
|
|