HeAD RusH

:: 2003 29 June :: 2.26pm

i'm so imperfect i fucking love it. ;-o

:: 2003 28 June :: 3.49am
:: Mood: there is no word to describe how wonderful i feel
:: Music: Timb stuck in my head heh

i don't even know where to start...

i'm so numb with ecstasy (no not the drug, just the feeling) right now...

i'm going to say it and most definately mean it this time for sure. I have never been so happy in my life, its been 3 weeks of seeing him EVERYDAY (literally lol) and the after glow hasn't worn off yet which leads me to believe that its not an afterglow at all but this aura that we share between us, one of complete freedom and passion.

I know that he won't read this because as he put it, he "doesn't like reading other peoples thoughts" but you know what, he doesn't have to read this to know how i feel about him.

With my heart on my sleeve, I can now finally breathe a sigh of relief...

::sigh::
<3.

PS. in unrelated news, Timb & Harold rock my world as well.... they rocked pretty damn hard tonight @ the loft <3<3

7 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 27 June :: 2.37am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonaise

when you've found a guy who will tell you you're beautiful even when you look like shit, make you dinner and buy you nailpolish, you know you've got a keeper.

I did nothing to deserve him.

I'm so damn lucky.
<3

6 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 27 June :: 1.25am

it was like this. the rivers flowed because the source became unplugged. unplugged because that was the happiest anyone has ever made me. no need to rationalize it. it just was.

:: 2003 26 June :: 11.54am

100 FRIENDS!!!!!

lol wow i suck.
i'm excited anyways :0P

i'm grounded.
i wish gregory would call :0(

i feel empty but complete. its a weird feeling.
i wish i went to wellington yesterday and had chicken lo mein with the cool cool cool girls.

the.end.
100friendsw00t!

EDIT @ 1:14pm

okay. i'm NOT grouded :0) Ashley and I are doing driving school together and Gregs making me dinner tonight <3

off to the mall con Sara B. <3<3<3

6 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 26 June :: 12.59am
:: Mood: crappy

Hi, my name is Vivi.
I got a speeding ticket.
Worst night ever.

Yeah. that just about sums up how i feel right now.

funny story though...well maybe not so funny if you weren't there but proves how small of a world it really is...

okay. well this took place during my break tonight at work. Vicky (one of my coworkers) came in with her brother, Dan and his girlfriend Kassidy who are both back from college for the summer. I got a bagel and sat down with the 3. As I sat down I realized that Vickys brother had long, curly hair very similar to Gregs..(us girl freaks talk about hair ALLLLLLL the time heh) sooo as i got up to get a magazine from the rack i pointed to Dan's head and stated "Greg has hair like this" and walked away. When i returned, Vicky asked me what Gregs last name was which i replied "Pishko" and all 3 of them burst out laughing. Very confused I asked what was so funny and Vicky explained that after i'd left, Kassidy said that she had gone to school with a kid named Greg Pishko who had hair like Dans sooo they were all tickled that it was the same person :0) Sooooo it turned out Kassidy graduated IB in 2002 and knows Greg & everyone else. We had a great hour of bonding over FOOLS stories and band stuff (Dan used to be in Jaded at the Swingset) soooo it was really cool.

yeah. thats all.

oh yeah. I saw Greg all this morning which made my day despite all the crapiness <3

hes soooooooooo wonderful. really.

2 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 23 June :: 4.25am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: Radiohead - Hail to the thief

finally a good apple...
it has probably been awhile since i've really updated...(sorry!)

I do have a good explanation i swear! haha

well... i'm extremely content with just about everything right now.. its summer, i love my job and one of the best guys i've ever met likes me, really likes me and its just perfect...

i spent over 2 hrs talking to him tonight, both of us clarifying how we felt about eachother and stupid little questions we had for eachother...

my conclusion would have to be that Ben is right, he IS going to be the good apple of the bunch.. finally a guy i can be with and not have that uncomfortable feeling of "i can do better".

He makes me so happy...

PS. thank you to BenFranklin for lunch/4:30 dinner today, that made me equally happy as seeing Greg <3 heh no competition here, just love.
You mean the world to me Sr.Garbarino<3<3

2 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 22 June :: 3.38am

i woke up at 2 feeling mad at myself for falling asleep.

i now feel mad at myself for waking up.

i know what it felt like today to almost die. there is nothing to be afraid of. staring at the walls i saw they were only walls because i allowed them to be. the word myopic didn't exist. everything was what we made it. simple as that.

2 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 20 June :: 1.34am

running down the road to nowhere. farting my ass off. haha just me in the world. god it was great. you should have been there. like an ape who could do nothing but be happy. i love this. a monkey in his element. i wish you were here.

10 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 19 June :: 4.08am

[Current Clothes] turtle-saur shirt _ khaki capris.
[ Current Mood] contemplative
[ Current Music] none. although i've had radiohead stuck in my head all day
[ Current Taste] n/a
[ Current Make-up ] um... whatever thats left
[ Current Hair ] pony tail
[ Current Annoyance ] ehh i don't want to talk about it.
[ Current Smell ] n/a
[ Current Thing ] i should be sleeping
[ Current Desktop Picture ] former Adastra boys
[ Current Favorite Artists] Radiohead etc.[ Current Favorite Group ] iwhagohsg.
[ Current Book you're reading] the summons by john grisham
[ Current CD in CD Player] wilco i believe
[ Current DVD in player] igby goes down <3[ Current Color Of Toenails ] pink/red
[ Current Refreshment ] n/a
[ Current Worry ] eh... if you matter enough to me then you'd know.

LAST PERSON...
[ You Touched ] Greg... besides my kitty :0P
[ You Talked to ] Ben
[ You Hugged ] Gregory Luke.
[ You Instant messaged ] Ben
[ You Yelled At ] i dont' know but probably someone
[ You Kissed ] pssft who kisses and tells :0P

FAVORITE...
[ Food ] i like food.
[ Drink ] Dr.Pepper
[ Color ] why have one when you can have them all
[ Album ] Radiohead - Pablo Honey
[ Shoes ] gota be the bowling shoes or the pimp tie-died chucks
[ Candy ] gummi bears, twizzlers
[ Animal ] kitties
[ TV Show ] trading spaces
[ Movie ] geez. right now i'm really digging Adaptation
[ Dance ] i don't dance.
[ Song ] um # 2 on the Coheed CD... I don't know names, sorry.
[ Vegetable ] spinich.
[ Fruit ] proly tangerines or something
[ Cartoon ] um.
[ Store ] um.
[ Kiss ] depends
[ Hangout ] in someones arms that i care about.
[ Vacation ] Italy and Greece.. that rocked my world... also trips to the keys = own.

ARE YOU...
[ Understanding ] i try to be sympathetic.
[ Open-minded ] i think so.
[ Arrogant ] elitest maybe, arrogant i don't know.
[ Insecure ] probably
[ Interesting ] haha i hope so
[ Random ] spontaneity rocks.
[ Hungry ] always fatty.
[ Friendly ] very.
[ Smart ] IB? lol in that case i guess no.
[ Moody ] don't push me.
[ Childish ] i'm little, im allowed
[ Independent ] its lonely.
[ Hard working ] when needed
[ Organized ] depends what you're talking about
[ Healthy ]i could work on it
[ Emotionally Stable ] not as much as i'd like to be
[ Shy ] not really
[ Difficult ] very.
[ Attractive ] not particularly
[ Bored Easily ] depends
[ Thirsty ] sometimes
[ Responsible ] depends
[ Obsessed ] very
[ Angry ] currently yes even though i shouldn't be...
[ Sad ] even though i might not show it...
[ Happy ] its weird, kind of like crazy equilibrium.. i'm happier then ever but sad in my heart too.
[ Hyper ] its 4am what do you think[ Trusting ] i like to have faith in people
[ Talkative ] very.

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ Kill ] lets not go there.
[ Slap ] too many people. especially racists.
[ Get Real Wasted With] wasted on life?? lol[ Get High With ] smokings dumb.
[ Look Like ] too many people
[ Talk To Offline ] lots of people... probably Gregory right now
[ Talk To Online ] i talk to everyone.
[ Date ] they know who they are.:0P
[ Fuck ] oh jeebus... lol

i'm thinking too much about everything and its really bringing me down :0(

:: 2003 19 June :: 2.48am

truth is a state of mind, as is almost any other process. realize this and the world is yours.

14 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 19 June :: 2.36am

happy birthday Canadian Dave<3<3

i couldn't ask for a better night.

I have a live journal now also if anyone cares, www.livejournal.com/users/plainmornings

also. Ben and I bought a year of communal picture sharing @ www.fotki.com/plainmornings

<3.Vivi.

Gregory Luke doing the drive thing.

Birthday boy with AJ & Sharif :0)

:: 2003 17 June :: 2.47pm

damn. when the fuck did i get such a sense of morality. something told me to give him my last dollar. his smile made it worth my while.

it was good to hear your voice today.

Ready..Aim..

12 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

:: 2003 16 June :: 4.05am

"every second she laid in his arms, time seemed to stop. "Look, its 2:28 just like yesterday" he said...she couldn't help but smile."

I want pancakes... bad.

Had a great night, No Parking boys rocked my world + Adaptation w/Weston & Gregory Luke. Igby tomorrow!!

"its hot hot" <3