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2004 19 September :: 7.56pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: Maroon Five-She will be loved
I woke up at 7 this morning and got ready and went and helped a friend move out of his dorm. Ah *smiles* Roomates...:) *BIG smile* Came home, then me and Kate went to Champion. Fun stuff. I'm exhausted though. I just want to sleep.
I love you pretty pussy! Don't forget it!
~jess
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2004 18 September :: 8.20pm
Wow. I really feel like shit.
2 do you.♥ |
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2004 18 September :: 5.03pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Rascal Flats-Feels like Today
Me and Kate got to have Sticky Buns today! yay!!! I've wanted one of the longest time! You have no idea, ever since cmu I've been buns crazy. :)
Went to work, and didn't have to do anything the first hour b/c the hydrolic thing a majigger broke, so we got paided for nothing. Then the rest of work was fun , crazy i know, but we we're just messing around and being dumb. So it went by fast.
So tonight is the card party, so me and kate are gonna hang out with jon and mitch. Then tomorrow me and kate are gonna go to Champion. woo.
Oh! I talked to Jeff today, I've missed that kid. He leaves for Iraq the 30th. That's so sad. Why do they even still need ppl over there...hmm...i dunno...hmm...wierd. :)
I smell like corn *gags* I need to go take a shower.
~jess
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2004 18 September :: 12.43am
Mitch...ahhhhhhhh!!!! Tomorrow better be good! I swear to god I'll tear someone's balls off.
~jess
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2004 17 September :: 5.39pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Rascal Flats-Feels like Today
Holy Moses I was really tiered today. I swear I could not keep my eyes open. I looked like friecken bozo the clown. My hair was so damn poofy. *shakes fist* grrr. So I thought I was going to be nice today, nope...once again the bitchy mood set it. I'm just glad lol that Kate was too cos then we can bitch together.
I'm really sick of hearing the same things all over again. You just don't listen. I do. I listen to you, listen to me. I need you now more than ever.
So we we're going to go to the football game b/c we got work off Thank you God! I could not handle looking at corn for 5 hours again. And sitting on a hard ass stole or standing for that amount of time. I would have just jumped on the convaer belt and died. But now we don't wanna go. lol we're too lazy.
So later after the game Mitch and Jon are coming over and we're watching the exorsist. It better be fun or I'm going to rip off their nuts! grrr *prepares myself to detach nuts* REally who even says that? Hmm im stupid. oh well.
~jess
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2004 16 September :: 9.31pm
Today, like yesterday sucked. I was still in a really bitchy mood, for many reasons. You know, just sometimes you have those days where you're like get the fuck outta my way and leave me the hell alone kinda days. Worked for along time and I swear I hate corn, and the few seconds on the way home what do we see? more stinkin corn. I just wanted to shoot myself right in the fucking head. I hateeeeeee corn!!! Then we went home and I studied for Anatomy and fell asleep, and now im back up again..and about to fall asleep. Grrr...I'm just a bitch today. Sorry ya'll.
Good news, me and kate have tomorrow off! yay! go us! So we get to go to the game. But sat. we work again. :( *grawls*Oh -well.
I need sleep.
~jess
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2004 15 September :: 10.17pm
I feel like I can finally start to breathe again...I just hope it only stays that way from here on out.
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2004 15 September :: 6.57pm
Today was such a shitty day. Me and Katie were the biggest bitches, strangly on the same day. I swear if you even walked next to me and rubbed shoulders or were walking slower that me in front of me I wanted to kill you! Horrible huh? Yeah, I know.
Then we really didn't want to go to work for 5 hours from 3 till 8, rush home after misssing my show and do homework and go right to bed, and WORK BLOWS!!!! We watch corn go by AGAIN!!! I swear to god I hate corn and the SECOND i turn 16 I'm getting a real job and never having anything to do with corn EVER EVER AGAIN! But we got to go home earlie so now me and kate are in a GREAT!!! mood! And one tree hill is gonna start soon so i gotta fly
leave me a comment or ILL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN
jk heh :)
~jess
3 do you.♥ |
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2004 15 September :: 9.16am
So I really hate Mrs. Crowley. Shes kinda a umm..bitch Yupp, sure do. She took Katie's phone away when we went INTO the bathroom , INBETWEEN Classes, because it as important. About work, calling a boss! WOOO BIG Friecken woopdy doo! Give me a break and get a grip on your life. lol for crying out loud. If phones are now a loud in school, yeah you shouldn't have them on in class, but if you HAVE to make a phone call why in the world would you go to the office pay moeny, or to the payphone and pay moeny, when you have your own damn phone?
Grrr...yeah so I woke up really later today, again. Washed my hair, blew dry it half way, threw on some make up, got dressed and my kahki's were all wrinkly. So I yell up the stairs "Kate, can you come here" "Do you guys have an iron I can use?" lol and she says " ...*strange look* ...what's an iron?" lol it made my day. Lol. So I just finished getting ready on the way to school and look like crap but oh well.
I have to work 3-8 today and I'm going to miss one tree hill :( im so pissed i dont want to work but its moeny!
Happy Birthday Dan!! Mr. Boom Boom is finally legal! I love you!!!
back to anatomy
~jess
1 do you.♥ |
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2004 14 September :: 8.57pm
My mom came to get me to go talk, and I have never yelled, screamed, cried in my entire life and I hope I never do that again because I have never wanted to die more so than that moment in the car with her ever in my life. Not a hug, not a kiss, nothing. Just more things to make this very reason for why I am living with Kate and why I hate my life and who I am even more than what it already is. Things were just getting off my mind, just starting to be pushed aside until I found some way to deal with it and then that happens and I just am so dazed and confused. I have never been so hurt and angry in my entire life. I'm trying to hold it all in, untill the right time, where I'm fully capable of dealing with the situation without making it worse and there just is no way. It's on my mind day in and day out, every second. I can't forget it, because it's been my life for the past 15 years. My family for the past 15 years. And even though it's been torn apart many times before, never like this. I feel lost, and empty, and so sad to think...my family is..in my mind gone. The only thing I have is the e-mails my mom sends me ..that's nothing. I just ughh dont know what to do because I can't forgive and forget right now...i can't. As much as I want to just hug and kiss my mom and dad and tell them i love them...I just have to accept it wont be that way again for a long time, and it breaks my heart and tears it in two that it even has to be like that. I just hope one day that it'll be okay again. Otherwise I'll continue to feel empty and as shitty and un-loved as i do right now. Of course my friends love me but it's just not the same as your mom and dad. It's just not. *sigh* akdjfajldkf;jalkdfjalkdjf;alksjdfalkjdf
I feel so useless, and I just need someone to hug me everyday and tell me they love me , something...or I dunno I'm just going to lose it all.
3 do you.♥ |
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2004 14 September :: 1.03pm
Yay I have a job again! 300 dollars a week! and Kate is gonna work with me! wooty toot toot!
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2004 13 September :: 10.14pm
What the hell is that? Are you kidding me. Well hmm telling me she said that really makes me feel great. Just perfect! Wow I really hate you sometimes.
Grr..you stupid butt hole.
Mr. McDonald is cool and all, but how the hell does he expect us to memorize 35 friecken vocab words, and where they are located in the body system when he tells us the day ahead of time? Are you kidding me? Wow, get a grip on your life :) lmao.
Wow I really want to kill someone this very second. It could be
_ _ _ _
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_ _ _ _ _ _ _
OR
_ _ _ _
Yupp, I feel like shit.
grrr
I need a fucking hug.
night
~jess
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2004 13 September :: 4.59pm
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: Martina McBride-How far
There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh never come back
There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh when's it gonna end
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far
There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be
Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say
YeahI'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far
As happy as it makes me that I have this, the things you've said to me in the past few days, and what you've done..have made me feel like such a terriable person who's incapable of being loved. Then I realize you're just a bitch, and I *am* a nice girl, I am fun to be around, and I am sweet, and you can just save it because I don't need to listen to your crap.
School was better today. I was in a real giggly mood most of the time. Gotta lov that.
It makes me happy that you're a cool kid now. Real happy.
~jess
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2004 12 September :: 9.32pm
I love the Schaub's. That's all I have to say.
2 do you.♥ |
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2004 12 September :: 7.18pm
:: Mood: hot
:: Music: Mandy Moore-Candy teehee
"I can't believe I'm listening to Mandy Moore"
Me and Kate went out last night. Went to barker's and Howard City. Fun night.
Went for a run today. Lol ..nice.
~Jess
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2004 11 September :: 6.39pm
Let's Just Say That I Got Bored | Created by RaiyneDevil and taken 38 times on bzoink! | | About You... | | Name | Jess | | Birthday | November 11 | | Hair Color | Red | | Eye Color | Blue | | Height | 5'4 | | Favorites... | | Color | Aqua | | Type of Music | Rap | | Movie | How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days | | Band | Rascal Flats | | Singer | Ryan Cabrera | | Actor | Ben Affleck | | Food | Grapes | | Drink | Apple Juice | | Animal | Panda | | This or That... | | cuddle or kiss? | Cuddle | | punk or metal? | punk | | music or movies? | both | | love or hate? | love | | aim or msn? | msn | | boys or girls? | boys | | Friends... | | Who are your best friends? | Kate, Jess, Dan,Cass,Linds, Shea, Erika, Jenna | | Loudest friend: | Linds | | Funniest friend: | Jess | | Drunkest friend: | Kate | | Kindest friend: | Kate and Jess | | Friend you've known the longest: | Jess | | Miss any old friends? | Andy | | Have you ever... | | been in love? | nope | | been dumped? | yupp | | got drunk? | yupp | | smoked? | yupp | | been arrested? | nope | | cried over a guy/girl? | yupp | | been so drunk you threw up? | yupp | | broken a bone? | nope | | Your Significant Other (skip if you're single)... | | What's their name? | | | How did you meet? | | | How long have you been dating? | | | When's your anniversary? | | | Their best physical feature: | | | Their best mental feature: | | | Would you change anything about them? | | | Have they said they loved you? | | | Do you love them? | | | One person that you... | | love: | ryan cabrera | | hate: | bah | | trust: | kate | | distrust: | brianna | | feel sorry for: | - | | want to get to know better: | justin | | want to see right now: | dunno | | are talking to right now: | dan | | Random Stuff... | | What would you like to change about yourself? | my ears | | If you won the lottery, what would you spend the money on? | clothes | | Where would you like to go on vacation to? | hawaii or new york | | Have any piercing? If not, want one? If yes, want more? | yes, and yes | | Have any tattoos? Want one? Want more? | no, but i want a star on my hip or lower back | | What time is it? | 6:38 | | Final word: | wierd lol | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
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Your Life Survey | Created by BrokenHalo and taken 4 times on bzoink! | | The_Basics | | Full Name: | Jessica Lynn Hazen | | Date Of Birth: | November 11th | | Age: | 15 | | Location: | Cedar Springs | | Hair Colour: | red | | Eye Colour: | blue | | Your_Favourites | | Color: | aqua | | Animal: | panda bear | | Food: | grapes | | Drink: | apple juice | | Candy: | starburst | | Movie: | How to lose a guy in ten days | | TV Show: | One Tree Hill, SNL, South Park, Real World, Road Rules | | Actress: | Sandra Bullock | | Actor: | Ben Affleck | | Book: | A walk to remember | | Author: | Nicholas Sparks | | Band: | Rascal Flats | | Song: | On the way down-Ryan Cabrera | | Video Game: | don't play video games | | Home_Life | | Type Of Home You Reside In: | A house? | | # Of People In Household: | 4 | | # Of Rooms: | 5 | | # Of Bathrooms: | 3 | | # Of Closets: | 6 | | Your Chores: | clean the whole house | | Pets: | 3 dogs | | Favorite Room: | my room | | Upstairs Or Downstairs: | upstairs | | School_Life | | Name Of School: | cedar springs high school | | Grade: | 11th | | # Of Classes: | 6 | | Subjects You Take: | French, English, Math, Anatomy, History, | | Favorite Subject: | French | | Current GPA: | better be a 4.0 since it's the second week of school i better have all a's | | Love_Life | | Girlfriend/Boyfriend: | nope | | Crush(es): | heh | | Last "Flame": | dan | | What Would You Do For Love? | who knows | | Have You Ever/Do You Cheat? | nope | | Are You A Virgin? | yes | | Your Sexuality: | straight | | Best_Friend | | Name: | Kate And Jess | | Date Of Birth: | march 3, and march 8th | | Age: | 16 and 16 | | # Of Years You've Been Friends: | 15 and a few years | | Ever "Romantically Involved"? | no | | Name Something About Your Best Friend That Is: | | Cute: | jess-her wolf laugh kate-her "stick" | | Funny: | "hey purtttyyy pussy! I'm gonna getch u!"-"hmmm wierd, wierd wierd!" | | Mean: | their both really sweet | | Annoying: | farting and burping | | Sexy: | idk | | Ugly: | idk | | Sweet: | idk | | Special: | idk | | Hot: | idk | | Stupid: | idk | | Perfect: | idk | | Imperfect: | idk | | Who_Was_Your_First: | | Kiss? | Kyle Harper | | Important Girlfriend/Boyfriend? | dunno | | Love? | never | | Big Break-Up? | idk | | Crush? | idk | | Do_You_Believe_In: | | God? | yes | | Love? | yes | | Destiny/Fate? | yes | | Karma? | ehh | | Ghosts? | no | | Aliens? | no | | The Boogy Man? | no | | Santa Claus? | no | | The Toothfairy? | no | | Make_A_Wish: (It Can Be Anything At All!) | | First Wish: | I got a job | | Second Wish: | a car | | Third Wish: | a load of moeny | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
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2004 11 September :: 11.26am
Pancakes yumm! :)
Me and Kate rented Jersey Girl last night it was so cute. I love Ben Affleck and he's so adoreable when he cries.
Ahh *sigh* I just don't know what the hell to do.
"Are you falling asleep?"
"....no....*snore"
We're gonna go wash some car woot woot!
~Jess
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2004 10 September :: 5.25pm
Well that really sucks. I am clueless as to what I'm going to do now or what to do, or where to go. I don't know...I'm pretty much screwed. The only good side I see to it is that maybe I can actually see a normal side and happy side to myself not being around that anymore. Ahhh I don't know what I'm going to do.
I don't know what I would do without Kate. I love her. :) *Smiles.
First week of school down, went better than I thought. I love being able to leave and not sit in the lunchroom with a bunch of gay people. I loveeee that!
Mrs. Babbit talks so long grr it bugs me. Oh-well it keeps her from giving us work.
I'm thinking about switching out of yearbook I'm not liking it so much. It's kinda boring so far. But I'm sure it'll get better. And it's a little too late to switch out anyhow. I got good spreads though Prom, Homecoming, Junior, and Choir. Happy bought that one. Yay!
Yeah so Kate made a new ring tone for me on my phone lol I love it! Damn her she figured it out before I can figure anyting out on my phone.
Gonna go play casino woot woot!
~Jess
3 do you.♥ |
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2004 9 September :: 3.31pm
Hmm..I have a good idea lets talk to me about my best friend like I'm not going to tell her and then pretend like it doesn't bother me and still carry out conversations with me. Hmm...sounds like a plan! ...NOT!
Why aren't we friends anymore even now?
2 do you.♥ |
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2004 9 September :: 3.20pm
I haven't updated my woohu in forever. Miss me?
School is good this year. I can't stand a lot of people in my classes,or all the underclassmen everywhere.. but then again I have a lot of friends in all my classes.
Grounded for the rest of today and that's it. yay!
"I like that cross kid a lot" lol hehe *blushes* you're a funny man she says.
You are a stupid boy who looks like a monkey, you annoy me so much. Why did I even bother. Hmm...I know, because I hate that.
Worse class is gotta be math but me and kate have it together :) go us! Best class would be Anatomy.
anyhoo I need to go do some homework toodle loo
~jess
4 do you.♥ |
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2004 29 August :: 12.08pm
This weekend has been good. About to go out for breakfast then coming home.
yay
~Jess
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2004 29 August :: 10.04am
*yawns*
Coming home today.
Taxi *laughs
~jess
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2004 28 August :: 6.16pm
:: Mood: bouncy
Looks like we'll be staying another night. *kicks kate's ass.
lol. 6 o'clock are you kidding me?
What the heck. Everytime. It's about you. Just get over it. You have no reason. You don't. No one will ever be able to help you untill you help yourself. Ever. Think about that, because no one else will be the answer to your problems. No one in the world. Only you. I'm sorry this isn't what you like or what you want, but it's my choice and I choose this. I like this. So either be there or don't. That's it.
I wanna goooooooo. I'm fine, I just need to shower. I feel dirty.
I don't know what I think about it yet. I just think it's best not to worry because that's what got us into this whole mess to get back here in the first place. I hope something good comes from it, but I'm not going to sweat it because that's just retarded and bound to cause problems.
"He's a babe go momma!"
BAHHHHHHh
~jess
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2004 28 August :: 4.38pm
:: Mood: exhausted
Last night was the best.
9 and 10 hah
Grounded.
Kate is a little punk. I love you.
Sticky Bun.
"Junior in college, high school. Abort Mission Dude"
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2004 27 August :: 3.45pm
Me and Kate are goin up to Mount Pleasent tonight. Should be fun. Unless we get lost again lol.
~jess
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2004 27 August :: 12.46pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Keith Urban-Your Everything
This is the most beautiful song I have *ever* heard. You're an idiot if you don't download it after you read this. lol just joshin ;) Love you.
Your Everything
The first time I looked in your eyes I knew
That I would do anything for you
The first time you touched my face I felt
Like I've never felt with anyone else
I wana give back what you've givin' to me
And I wanna witness all of your dreams
Now that you've shown me who I really am
I wanna be more then just your man
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails
And be the hand that lifts your veil
And be the moon that moves your tide
The sun coming up in your eyes
Be the wheels that never rust
And be the spark that lights you up
All that you've been dreaming of and more
So much more, I wanna be your everything...
When you wake up, I'll be the first thing you see
And when it gets dark you can reach out for me
I'll cherish your words and I'll finish your thoughts
And I'll be your compass baby, when you get lost
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails
And be the hand that lifts your veil
And be the moon that moves your tide
The sun coming up in your eyes
Be the wheels that never rust
And be the spark that lights you up
All that you've been dreaming of and more
So much more, I wanna be your everything...
Be the wheels that never rust
And be the spark that lights you up
All that you've been dreaming of and more
So much more, I wanna be your everything...
I wanna be your everything
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2004 27 August :: 11.57am
*sigh*
Thank you.
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2004 27 August :: 11.40am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Ryan Cobrera-Last Winter
Geese!!!
Last night was fun.
Got my paycheck today and it was more than I was expecting :)
It's okay. I understand why you can't do it.
Leave it be.
"Hey do you see that big goose in my yard?" *laughs "Jess, that's not a goose, it's a turkey." lol
~jess
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2004 26 August :: 5.02pm
yay! you picked up the phone and things are good.Thank you for understanding.
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2004 26 August :: 4.43pm
:: Music: Ryan Cabrera-Lost Again
This morning I woke up at 6 to get redy for work. Called Dan before I left to wake him up for work. Now I'm someone's personal alarm clock. Lol how great. Who wouldn't want some crazy red head to wake them up in the morning? ;) Went up to work and no one was there. I'm so mad at myself for not going to work yesterday. That's 150 dollars I need for my car. *smacks self*
Anyway so I got home and went with my mom to get her tests done. Not all that fun. Hospitals smell so nasty. Like urine. It's just gross, and it totally grosses me out.
Tonight I'm going to go out with Kate cos if I don't I'm going to stay at home talking on the phone all night wishing I had only gone out.
Then I have to babystit Sat. Then I'm going to Amy/Chad's don't really know anymore, little party w/ Erika hopefully. Otherwise Dan. Or I'm going to need a ride, and will end up not going. Sounds like fun :)
I need a real job so bad. I hate depending on the next check to make my pathetic teen payments. Ughhh I hate being 15.
How sad is it that I'm ONLY 15?!? I'm a junior and I'm only 15 and will be for another half a year. Most of the kids in the grade below me are older and can already drive. Who really wants to pick me up when I hang out with friends. I feel bad, espically sinc eI livein the boomies. Jimmy, Myles, Devon, and Jenna are the only people close to me, oh and The Johnsons. It occured to me the other day that I'm going to be 17 when I start college. I won't even be legal lol oh well.
Speaking of school, this year I'm determinded to get all straight A's, even in math if it kills me. And even if it means no socail life besides work and school. And I'm going to take hard classes senir year. Hopefully get into Ferris, and go into computers and Secondary Education. I want to be a teacher/b-ball coach, bt I wnat something to fall back on, that I enjoy. Like computers.
Just pick up the phone. It's not that hard. You use to do it. I'm not going to bite.
"her ass jiggle for more" haha I will never forget that. I haven't laughed that hard where you cry in *sooo* long.
Grrr I'm all out of smelly perfume. Got get me some more. Just something else I need moeny for.
I was getting pictures out for mine and jess's locker and I started looking at all my pcitures form New York and realized I barely have any. Nrs. Martino still has them all. Ugh that makes me mad, I have like two , if that.
So I went to visit my Grandpa and I was talking to my Grandma and she said she notcied I've been getting a lot of color. I told her about how my tooshie and tah tah's always get burnt when I tan and she said "You better be carfeul Jessie breat cancer run in the family" lol wtf?!? I love my Grandma but ahhh lol it was so funny.
My room is fianlyl clean. It too me lliek a eweek to finish. yay!!!
I don't hate you. I dont care anymore, I never really did.
I'm out of things to talk about
~jess
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