:: 2009 22 August :: 1.28 am

I will waste, Squander days in splendid squalor. Take and,..; take in.

Take me to take you to let me take this with you.

I will roll around and rot in the muck of this palace, absorbing (, dissolving. Dilute my body; blend with the systems, follow the cycles, beat the beats they imbue, the beats of this city). I will forage for meals in the trash, quench my thirst in overflowing gutters. I will soak up the sludge, find myself deep down in it. Pull me up from below, belittle then blow blow blow those cheeks, fill that throat throat throat to the lungs, sagging now sunk. push push punsh punch push pust puts his body from limp now to rigid, contracted description, the muscles flex and tense and

where was I?

2 Grams | Scale

:: 2009 17 August :: 2.05 am

settling like meteors on earth, with ambition for the sun
the fire in your atmosphere is the rotten taste in my mouth, the failing words on my tongue

(you'll never boil me down to atoms, pull apart my everything. you'll never know my insides like my outside. you will never feel the weight she could feel and you won't appreciate the distance I've traveled)

I will peel back layers to find
I will pull apart spines
I will start pick pick picking locks
I will cut up or untie knots

to find that dense and sweet, immensely deep like sinking in velvet tar pits I will give in to the pull
to discover the baritone roar of heaving, volcanic throats I will dive into their open mouths

to find the center, to find the core.

Scale

:: 2009 12 August :: 1.04 pm

I cannot tell if the feeling is of bursting, bloating, a swelling explosive force

or deflating suffocation, shrinking to implosion.

The theory is


I am a gallon of water in bloated lungs
I'm a tapeworm inside your distended guts
I am a build up of blood clots,
a pressure that won't stop
The signal that causes a ruptured ear drum

(inflation... elevation. pushing through and growing, stretching up and meshing, mingling with other cells these thoughts and laughs are catching (caught). swelling up like balloons like gaseous rotting corpses tugging in the rafters at the strings that yet connect them to the ground. pulled through as prisoners in thanksgiving day parades we point and laugh and taunt. shouting at the shackles of faces we've come to know from television shows, news anchor reports, movie theater screens, and hand-drawn police sketches.

the feeling leaps up, bobbing up and down (it carries fish hooks and sinkers) in spirals as it spins inside my throat. like a bubble trapped inside a level, except this is not as useful. expanding, closing the gaps in my narrow esophagus, this is not that useful. panic and swallow. hyper. hyper what? hyper ventricles hyper ventilate.)

Scale

:: 2009 9 August :: 4.06 am

with the momentum of glaciers (sliding, skinning earth)
and the calm of an anchor (sinking, now submerged)

I move forward, I am beginning to sense

the edge of a precipice; the roar of the falls.
(magnetic, gravitational, inescapable fate)

Scale

:: 2009 2 August :: 6.26 pm

every word you speak only serves to promote your unfaltering avarice and vanity.

Scale