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buttercup954

:: 2003 31 December :: 3.13pm

thuraday - jet black new years
Don't even take a breath
The air is cut with cyanide
In honor of the New Year

The press gives us case to celebrate:
These air raid sirens
Flood barbed wire skylines
By artificial night,
As we sleep to burn the red
From our bloodless lives.
Tonight we're all time bombs
On fault lines.

Have we lost everything now?
We're walking
Like each other's ghosts
Around these silent streets
(the sedatives tell you everything
Is alright)

Like calendars dying
At New Year's Eve parties
As we kiss hard on the lips
And swear this year
Will be better then the last
Jet Black - the ink that spells your name
Jet Black - The blood that's in your veins
We say, "How long can we take this chance not to celebrate?"

There's music playing
But we dance to the beat
Of our own black hearts
And draw diagrams
Of suicide on each other's wrists
Then trace them with razorblades

Fire to flames
"Strike Match. "

Burn these words from our lips
As 'The Daggar' screams
"Love is dead"
And it's a "newspaper tragedy, "

Have we lost what we love?
Have we said everything?
Does it change anything?
Stare at the clock
Avoid at all costs,
This emptiness.

Ten seconds left
Until midnight
Nine chances to drown ourselves
In black hair dye
Eight faces turned away
From the shock:
Seven windows and six of them
Were locked
Five stories falling
Forever and ever
Three cheers to the mirror
Now there are two of us
Can we have one last dance?
How long can we take this chance not to celebrate life?

Fact and fiction work as a team.


buttercup954

:: 2003 27 December :: 2.54pm

white stripes - who's to say
Who's to say that I'm unhappy
'Cause I don't really smile
Sittin', hopin', dreamin', waitin'
For my ship to sail

Who's to say this time I've wasted
Someday won't get used
Maybe if you come around
I'll start to get enthused

Who's to say
Who's to say

Who's to say that I'm obsessed
With everything you do
Just because it seems my schedule
Seems to shadow you

Who's to say that tired clean shave is
More fish in the sea
And I don't mind treading water
'Cause you're the one for me

You say that by now
I should know you'll never love me
But who's to say that what has never
Been will never be
What has been will never be

Who's to say in time I wouldn't
Learn how to relax
You'd forget about my clammy
Hands and my nervous laugh
Who's to say the way you look at
Him is truly love
Maybe they should realize
I fit you like a glove

You say that by now
I should know you'll never love me
But who's to say that what has never
Been will never be
What has been will never be

Fact and fiction work as a team.


buttercup954

:: 2003 25 December :: 6.11pm
:: Music: the rain

bored on christmas

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty


Which Sex and the City Player Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


Which Action Star Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


Which O.C. Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


Fact and fiction work as a team.


buttercup954

:: 2003 25 December :: 3.30pm
:: Music: white stripes

merry christmas!

i hope everyone has a fun, yummy and festive day :o)

Fact and fiction work as a team.


buttercup954

:: 2003 23 December :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: normal

hahaha i bet laura will get the biggest kick outta this one

ignore
Your sign of frustration is....Ignoring! Instead
of dealing with problems, you ignore them.
Your theory to problems, is that if I pretend
they are not there, they'll disappear.
Sometimes this method can work, but most of the
time it doesn't. For a variety sometime, try
using one of the other methods, which are
discussed in this quiz. It might feel good!


What sign of frustration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

4 Lies | Fact and fiction work as a team.


WhitePony

:: 2003 23 December :: 10.27am
:: Music: Videodrone - Pig In A Blanket

Shake It, Sh-Shake It, Sh-Shake It Like a Polaroid Pictcha
Thats what Paso Robles did yesterday in the 6.5 earthquake. It was crazy, I've never experienced an earthquake that big before. I was at work and it was the classic "run in between a door frame" scenario. Things were flying off shelves, glass shattered, insanity. They let me go home real quick to check and make sure nothing drastic happened at home. Everything was cool for the most part except my computer. My mom's uncle built my computer for me and when he brought it over he told me to put it up on top of the desk instead of on the ground... smart move. It had collapsed and dove to the ground. Otherwise, the house was just a mess, like in the movies when the bad guys are looking for something in the house and they open all the drawers and there are things strewn about the ground. But other than that, my family and I were ok.... which can't be said for others. Paso Robles is an old town and the people here cherish historic buildings, which means some are outdated and not reinforced. So we had two brick building go down in downtown. The bricks seriously flattened a big Escalade and killed three people. This is the biggest thing to happen to our town in forever. Governor Schwarzenegger is even gonna be here today. And as I was listening to the news yesterday they were saying they're declaring a tsunami warning. TSUNAMI!! insane. Even though we wouldn't be affected, thats still crazy to think about. Anyways, I feel I did a really shitty job composing this journal, pero tengo prisa because I have to go to work.

4 Lies | Fact and fiction work as a team.


WhitePony

:: 2003 20 December :: 6.53pm

Artistic
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

5 Lies | Fact and fiction work as a team.


buttercup954

:: 2003 19 December :: 10.38am

happy birthday laura!



*remember, rock stars don't age

3 Lies | Fact and fiction work as a team.


WhitePony

:: 2003 19 December :: 8.40am
:: Music: Rage Against The Machine - I'm Housin'

I encountered Metalhead online last night, but she wouldn't talk to me... :(

1 Lie | Fact and fiction work as a team.


buttercup954

:: 2003 18 December :: 11.11pm

well i had cookies issues today. one type didn't work at all (i knew i didn't like that emeril :oP) and one is unsuitable for mailing. so you get sugar and chocolate chip cookies along with cupcakes. and if all goes as planned they will get to you either saturday or monday. let's just hope they don't get majorly squished :o)

1 Lie | Fact and fiction work as a team.


cowboy67

:: 2003 19 December :: 2.34pm

dego aemulus
it is impossible to live a pleasant life without living wisely and honorably and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely and honorably and justly without living pleasantly. whenever any one of these is lacking, when, for instance, the man is not able to live wisely, though he lives honorably and justly, it is impossible for him to live a pleasant life.

no pleasure is a bad thing in itself, but the things which produce certain pleasures entail disturbances many times greater than the pleasures themselves.

the just man is most free from disturbance, while the unjust is full of the utmost disturbance.

bodily pleasure does not increase when the pain of want has been removed; after that it only admits of variation. the limit of mental pleasure, however, is reached when we reflect on these bodily pleasures and their related emotions, which used to cause the mind the greatest alarms.

he who understands the limits of life knows that it is easy to obtain that which removes the pain of want and makes the whole of life complete and perfect. thus he has no longer any need of things which involve struggle.

if you do not on every occasion refer each of your actions to the ultimate end prescribed by nature, but instead of this, in the act of choice or avoidance, turn to some other end, your actions will not be consistent with your theories.

of our desires, some are natural and necessary, others are natural but not necessary; and others are neither natural nor necessary, but are due to groundless opinion.

poverty, if measured by the natural end, is great wealth; but wealth, if not limited, is great poverty.

some men spend their whole life furnishing for themselves the things proper to life without realizing that at our birth each of us was poured a mortal brew to drink.

don't spoil what you have by desiring what you don't have; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.

the love of money, if unjustly gained, is impious, and, if justly, shameful; for it is inappropriate to be miserly even with justice on one's side.

the wise man who has become accustomed to necessities knows better how to share with others than how to take from them, so great a treasure of self-sufficiency has he found.

[addressing a young man] i understand from you that your natural disposition is too much inclined toward sexual passion. follow your inclination as you will, provided only that you neither violate the laws, disturb well-established customs, harm any one of your neighbors, injure your own body, nor waste your possessions. that you be not checked by one or more of these provisons is impossible; for a man never gets any good from sexual passion, and he is fortunate if he does not receive harm.

the wise man feels no more pain when being tortured himself than when his friend is tortured, and will die for him; for if he betrays his friend, his whole life will be confounded by distrust and completely upset.

what cannot be satisfied is not a man's stomach, as most men think, but rather the false opinion that the stomach requires unlimited filling.

nothing is enough to someone for whom what is enough is little.

do nothing in your life that will cause you to fear if it is discovered by your neighbor.

the soul neither rids itself of disturbance nor gains a worthwhile joy through the possession of greatest wealth, nor by the honor and admiration bestowed by the crowd, or through any of the other things sought by unlimited desire.

- epicurius

Fact and fiction work as a team.


nerdalert

:: 2003 15 December :: 4.42pm
:: Mood: surprised
:: Music: the song we sang for dr. ball

well let me tell you how stupid i am (well actually my whole class). so none of us thought there was going to be a final in our seminar, and if there was it was going to be a joke, like one question. because the teacher was leading us to believe that. well today we get there and we got an 8 page final. about 40-50 definitions, and 9 essay questions. well short answer, but whatever. so i probably got a realllllllly bad grade of that bitch. but, before class me and 3 other people sang/played a song for the teacher that we wrote. well it was to mrs. robinson, but we made up the words. so he said we were going to get some extra credit for that. hopefully its like 50 points.....maybe then i would pass the final. pretty awesome huh?

1 Lie | Fact and fiction work as a team.


buttercup954

:: 2003 15 December :: 12.47pm

happy birthday joey!

1 Lie | Fact and fiction work as a team.


cowboy67

:: 2003 15 December :: 3.11pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: radiohead

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICAN GLADIATOR!
i must say that i love the fact that people fall asleep and enter into this scary realm of unconsciousness, and yet their brains are still working, (probably harder than they do during the day, imagination-wise) and they create some of the most interesting and beautiful things ever. salvador dali used to wake up in the middle of the night after he had some crazy dream and he'd paint it out right then so he wouldn't forget any details.

i have to describe a dream i had last night. i was outside, sitting in some bleachers that were facing a large open grassy field. there were some foresty areas on the sides of the field. it reminded me of the backyard of my grandparents' cottage in prudenville, minus the lake. it seems that i was in the crowd of The Price is Right. people were down on the grass, behind podiums, wagering money. my cousin tom was sitting with me, drinking a beer. my other cousin (tom's sister) stephanie, was there too. then suddenly david bowie was on the grass, all alone, playing "the man who sold the world." that was it.

what freaks me out is how things form. especially animals. especially us. we start out as nothing more than cells. a sperm and an egg unite. little, tiny, supposedly meaningless, cells. they create a zygote. and from this junction of two measly little cells comes specialized cells... cells for everything... heart cells, nerve cells, lung cells, tissue cells, muscle cells, skin cells, brain cells, cartilage cells (chondrocytes!), blood cells, bone cells (osteocytes, osteoclasts, osteoblasts!), etc. and all of these millions of tiny cells join together by the masses to create whole fibers and tissues to create whole organs. and these organs are all connected to each other to form our bodies. everything functions together. every part of our bodies relies on the other parts. and there's one little squishy brain in charge of everything. my God, it's amazing. it's perfect. look at your hand. isn't it beautiful? and your ears. and your nose. the shape of your back and your legs. how the muscles move and contract. how the bones in your arms bend and twist. everything has a purpose. i feel so bad for the organs and bones and muscles in my body. they work day in and day out, never faltering. they never even get a break. they keep me healthy. they allow me to do so many different things. my heart especially. a small, soft muscle, contracting every second, so that i can live and breathe and see. it has so much power, it gives me life. and yet i'll never even be able to thank it for all that it's done for me. that makes me sad. seriously. poor little heart. i love you.

2 Lies | Fact and fiction work as a team.


WhitePony

:: 2003 14 December :: 10.52am
:: Music: Saves The Day - Hold

Oh well, you've got me under your spell
I reunited with a temporarily lost friend last night. When we first met she absolutely astonished me, and I was in awe with how perfect she was. I always looked forward to talking to her on a daily basis. Shortly after us meeting I was enraptured by her and how good she made me feel. All of a sudden we lost contact, but a day didn't go by where I didn't think about her. But last night we met again and it was just like always. I care about her a lot and I hope we don't lose contact again. I miss you.

3 Lies | Fact and fiction work as a team.

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