:: 2004 8 July :: 10.46 am
:: Mood: okay

I just got back from my meijer interview, and i got it, of course. Bah.
Now I have two jobs.

And if you were wondering, there are 24 days before band camp, and the start of wonderful ole marchin' season. 24, people. Only 24.

Eh...
Now I have two jobs, a boyfriend, a best friend (and other assorted friends), a car, and hair that needs to be deep conditioned and washed as soon as i get back up the lake.

Ain't life grand?

Well, I have nothing else to do today, tomorrow i have to work at four or five, I think i'm going to invite jessica up to the lake saturday, and i have to work sunday night. All in all I have something to do ever day. It gives me some goal to work for each day. Pathetic, but true.

5 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2004 8 July :: 10.44 am
:: Mood: awake

What kind of band geek are you?

Do you know?

:: 2004 1 July :: 10.51 pm
:: Mood: chipper

[sigh]

The green thing in my journal isn't working for me much anymore, and i have the urge to change it, just not right now.

I don't want to do anything right now except sit.

I have to work tomorrow.
I don't really wanna. Oh well. It's money.

I have to call meijer back to get a second interview.
School job?

The insurance company warned me today that if I dispute the damages incurred on that guy's car that i backed into, then his insurance company would advise him to take me to small claims court.
I need none of this.

I want none of this.

I just wanna go to bed and never wake up.
Dreams can be so much nicer and much more easily manipulated than real life.

michelle

Do you know?

:: 2004 30 June :: 10.20 am

How to make a Michelle

Ingredients: 1 part competetiveness 1 part crazyiness 5 parts empathy

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little fitness if desired!

:: 2004 29 June :: 9.42 pm

Hello, my name is Michelle, and I am addicted to woohu.com.

2 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2004 28 June :: 2.10 pm
:: Mood: okay

I got a job today.....at Sticks and Stones. It's a gift shop/ice cream place in Pierson right off the expressway across from Mobile. Well now, aren't we just special?

Do you know?

:: 2004 27 June :: 6.57 pm

You know you've been in band too long when:
You hear music on the radio and you start marking time.

You're walking behind someone and you're in step with them.

People ask you about your social life and you say "Oh you mean my flute?"

"Armed guard" means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun.

You remember sharps and flats more easily than you remember the name of the president.

You see your section more than you see your family.

The band room is your second home. It is your home if you've got it bad.

You don't describe people by going "She's got brown hair, dark eyes, kind of tall..", but go "She's an alto sax."

Pep band is the highlight of your week.

4 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2004 20 June :: 7.42 pm
:: Mood: complacent

This weekend has been indescribable. I don't think I will ever forget it. Yesterday I went and played tennis with Sam at Sand Lake at 9:30. We then went to my house and put the pictures from the lake on my digital camera that we took the night before. We went back to the lake and got ready and went to Rob's graduation party, and I left at 2:30 and went and saw Michelle at her graduation party, and then I head over to Rueben's party around four thirty. Good food. Good people. Good Rueben. It was really fun except when I burnt my pinky finger on the citrenella incense stick and fell down the stairs going out of the gazebo. Hey, I was tired, it's all good. I ended up staying the night at Rueben's house and we sat/slept/talked by the fire (or what became of it) until seven thirty in the morning. It got way too cold and we went inside and slept on the couch for a while. I left around nine thirty because I had to be back at the lake for father's day dinner. I think I slept a total of three hours. I have enough caffiene to last me a few more hours, and when the time arrives, I doubt I'll be able to make it to my bed. Eh, the floor can be comfortable, right?
Anyway, Father's Day. Fun stuff.

I think I'm going to go shopping with Jessie tomorrow to Greenville sometime in the morning or early afternoon, not like I have money to buy anything, but I have fabric and if I see something I like, I can make it. Yep. It happens.

-michelle-

Do you know?

:: 2004 18 June :: 12.50 pm
:: Mood: crappy

Uh. Bad. Bad day. Go away.

3 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2004 17 June :: 10.16 pm

Basics
Name::	Michelle
Age::	16
Height::	5'1"
Hair Color::	Red
Eye Color::	Changes- Blue and green and anywhere inbetween
School Life
What's your school's mascot?:	Red Hawk
School color(s)?:	Red, White, Black, and Gray
G.P.A.?:	3.833
Who is your favorite teacher?:	Robuck
What do they teach?:	Band
Is this your favorite class?:	Heh, yes
Internet
Do you use any instant messengers?:	Yes
If so, which ones?:	MSN
About how many hours a day do you spend online?:	none to three
Do you have a digital camera?:	yes
If so, do you post pictures of yourself online?:	no
Music
Do you play any instruments?:	yes
If so, what one(s)?:	Flute, mandolin, i can make out noises on a trumpet
3 Favorite Genres Of Music::	Old rock, punkish rock, and instrumental
3 Favorite Bands::	Green Day, Jet, WMFA flute choir (i know i know, band geekish)
Do you go to concerts and/or shows?:	Yes
What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?:	$5
What is the least you've ever spent?:	$5
Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?:	yes
Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?:	yes
Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?:	I don't really care
Word Association
Blue::	Maui
Camera::	Picture
Boy::	Good
Pretty::	Smile
Pants::	Off
Music::	On
God::	Where?
Sweater::	Itchy
Live Journal::	Woohu is better
MTV::	Live
Labels:
Do you think labels are dumb?:	Sometimes
Why or why not?:	Because sometimes they are correct, and sometimes not
What do people label you as?:	Smart/Bitchy/bandgeekish
How/Why did you get this label?:	Because I am
Which Is Worse?
Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?:	Emotional
Blink-182/Good Charlotte?:	Blink
Being Deaf/Being Blind?:	Deaf
Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?:	Bored
Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?:	Leg
Love
Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?:	Yes
Is it better to have loved and lossed than to have never loved at all?:	Yes
Are you romantic?:	In a dirty way
Are you in a relationship now?:	Yes
If so, for how long?:	A month and almost a week
If not, how long have you been single?:	haven't been
Are you a virgin?:	Yes
What song describes your love life right now?:	Very very very good
Ranomosity
War: Good or Bad?:	Bad
What do you think of designer labels?:	I can make it for less
Who's skankier: Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?:	Paris
What is it with guys and cars?:	hehe...I don't know, but it's a good thing
Do you sing?:	Alone
If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?:	I don't know
Kiss or hug?:	Both
What color is your room?:	pink
How old is your mom?:	47
Black and white or color photos?:	Black and White
Who cuts your hair?:	Me
What color is your toothbrush?:	Purpe
What color is your hair brush?:	Blue
What kind of hair products do you use?:	Shampoo, Conditioner, deep conditioner, gel
Is K-Mart just the poor man's Wal-Mart?:	Sure
Are you sXe?:	Uhh, no?
Are you sexy?:	Sure
What color to people tells you looks nice on you?:	Pretty much all of them
What color do you think looks nice on you?:	I don't care
Clothes shopping or grocery shopping?:	Depends on if i'm pmsing or not
Who do you sit with at lunch?
Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?:	No
Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?:	I don't know
What is the website for one of your favorite bands?:	I don't do that kind of thing, i'm not a freak
Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?:	Older
Do you listen to songs on repeat often?:	yes
Who was the last person you hung out with?:	Rueben
What did you and that person do?:	Umm...*cough* I don't remember
Do you use internet shorthand (i.e. "lol", "brb", "jk", et cetera)?:	yes, unfortuneately
How often do you bathe?:	every or every other day
Are you a people-pleaser?:	yes
Do you dye your hair regularly?:	no, never have
What about your eyebrows?:	no
Do you wear makeup?:	yes
If you answered "yes", to #96, are you female?:	I didn't
Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?:	I don't buy CD's
Can you beatbox?:	No
Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?:	I don't know, I haven't asked her recently

100 Questions For Your Answering Pleasure! brought to you by BZOINK!

Do you know?

:: 2004 9 June :: 6.32 pm

Informationi

m&ms487 is a restricted area. Authorised personel only

Do you know?

:: 2004 3 June :: 5.06 pm
:: Mood: awake

So denied
So I lied
Are you the now or never kind?
In a day
And a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing
To be had
Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast
To all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Put your name
On the line
Along with place and time
Wanna stay
Not to go
I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast
To all those
Who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go

Here's a toast
To all those who know me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon


God I love that song so much.

Do you know?

:: 2004 3 June :: 4.47 pm

No more school.
*jumps up and down gleefully*

Melting Pot
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*quietly* salad bowl

hehe

Do you know?

:: 2004 1 June :: 9.10 pm
:: Mood: angry

I really shouldn't be like this. It's quite annoying. To me, to everyone. I don't want to screw all this up. I'm afraid of doing that, so terribly afraid.
Things were a little off today. Okay, a little more than a little off. Today went by SO fast, I don't know where it all went. The scary part is that I don't remember a lot of it. I was closed in, and I wasn't aware of the changing world around me. Sometimes that's good in high school, and yet, it reminds me of a while back. I've been doing a lot of thinking about that lately. Probably brought on my new found happiness and whatnot. I only know two things right now:
1. I never want to be like that again
2. It made me see the other side of things, the darker side of life

I remember waking up the morning after, I keep going back to that.
"We've got work to do"
I love that, "We". I was the only fucking person that did anything. It was my choice in the end, and you left it to me, I don't think you really realize how close I was. I said I wasn't, but I was, and now that I'm back from that, I can look back and forgive you, but I still don't know why you did what you did. I probably don't want to know. God damn it. I wanted out of my fucking life. Didn't that tell you something? I was really fucked up, and you did little more than nothing.

I want all this anger to run out of me, like blood from a wound, just run and pool at my feet and dry and be done with forever. I don't want it anymore. Maybe it's the anger that keeps me going sometimes, but right now it just makes me want to cry. It's getting in the fucking way of everything. I'm letting it, wait, no, I have no control over it.

I think I need an attitude adjustment.

Blah Blah Blah.
School's almost done with. Thank god. I don't think I could stand another week of all that shit. Everyone going behind each other's backs, the pettiness, god, and I hate it when I realize that I did it too.
I only saw it until i was on the outside looking in. Two god damn more years. I'm ready to be out already, hopefully this summer will provide temporary relief, and then i can spend my last years superficially, everything hurts a bit less that way, when it's superficial. It's easier to swallow, to digest. I hate to be the one to look on and past what goes on, but I realize it now more than ever that I can't change it. No one can. They'll do what they do until they change. I hate that. Seeing people waste their live's away, not doing anything. I don't think they're lazy, I think they're scared to live. Even possibly exist. I was once, I know that. But I hid inside myself, they hide behind sex, and drugs, and alcohol, and their petty gossip, and $70 pairs of jeans and high heeled shoes and slutty tanktops and thongs that they know everyone sees because they don't know how else to get the attention. The stupidity, the whiny helplessness. This is where they become real people. These are real people. I AM a real person. I don't appreciate being treated like a damn 13 year old. And you know, it's not the authority's fault, it's my "peers" because they fucking act like it. They're hiding, they don't know how to come out, when they don't realize that all they have to do is take that step. All you have to do is trust yourself and defend yourself, no matter what you think. That's the only kind of respect that's worth receiving. That's the only kind of respect that will stick to you. And that's all what we're looking for in life, isn't it? Respect. It's what we've been starved of our whole lives, that's what causes rebellion, the drugs, the sex. If only we had a little respect, that's what they say. Well, you know how you get respect? You earn it. You earn it from people your respect, people who's idea's count. People who could take you somewhere in life, or better yet, people who YOU could take somewhere in life.

Enough bitching for now. The pool has collected on the floor.

-michelle-

3 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2004 31 May :: 9.56 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Eve 6- Here's to the night

Do you know?