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2008 27 June :: 11.48pm
I really can't do this anymore I am too tired. I just got out of work at 11pm and now I have to be at my other job at 6:30am tomorrow. I an so exhausted. My last day off was monday and I don't have my next day off until thursday of next wk and even then im not positive ill have that off cuz jw marriott mifht still schedule me that day. I really can't do this. I don't deal well with stress abd then on top of it when I have to deal with how NOTHING Ever gets done around my house unless I doit it makes the stress worse. Im so sick of this shit.
Well guess I better get to sleep I have to get up at 5:40 tomorrow morning ufhghhgghghghhgggggggggg
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skippi16
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2008 27 June :: 7.46pm
what would you do??
I NEED HELP!!
situation: you have three girls in your wedding party... two of them are awesome. they help with what ever needs to be done, are there for you and such, are attending all necessary appts. and gatherings and payed for their gosh darn ticket on time. then there is the other girl. former M.O.H stripped of her duties because life was just too hard. Is pissy cause you are leaving her out of things and sends you an email saying she cannot come to the shower because she may have to work. every one else has fixed their schedule so they can be there. she has know about it for months. Also has yet to pay me for her concert ticket... what do i do
i really want to tell her that she really has no choice than to come to the shower. IF SHE WANTS TO BE IN MY WEDDING SHE WILL BE THERE. i hate to be such a bitch but i have put up with enough of this shit from here. I love her to death, she was there for me in high school when i really needed her and now she just sucks.... what do you think i should do?
1 think they know |
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m&ms487
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2008 25 June :: 12.47pm
It rained for a while earlier. It was wonderful to hear the droplets pound the cement and create little rivers in the growing grass.
I worked last night until 11, and I'm leaving for work in about an hour to do it again. I worked 38 hours last week and I have 37 and a half this week. I'm at work all the time, but I'm trying to increase my fringe hours (an average of how many hours you work per day for the entire year) so that I can actually get paid vacation and days off. My anniversary date is July 26, so I have to get my fringe up by then, thus I'm working my ass off, not taking lunches to get that extra half an hour on days where I'm not working a full eight, stuff like that.
But, it is leading some nice paychecks. Unfortunately, my first rent payment is due in a few days which all but depletes the savings I've stashed away the past few months. A day in the life...
I'm still waiting to hear on three scholarship opportunities. All should be announced within the next week or so. Although I'm financially set as far as financial aid, I would really like to refuse one or both of the loans that I was awarded if I got one or two of the scholarships. I would also like to not have to work next school year because of all the responsibilities I've taken on...but I doubt that'll happen.
The Inferno has gone by the wayside; now I'm purusing the Dictionary of Literary Terms and Literary Criticism while on breaks at work. It's quite informative, and since I'm taking a very prestigious class next semester with a very intelligent professor, I figure it will serve me well to know the difference between the meaning of classicism depending on the century, and all the different forms of Comedy, especially the Spanish ones.
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sugarjackj
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2008 25 June :: 3.32am
Why the batman/superman movie will never happen....
*Fade in on the Gotham City Police Department. Batman addresses Commissioner Jim Gordon and his officers.*
Batman: There's no time to waste. Two-Face is holding the Second National Bank hostage, and we-
*Superman bursts in.*
Superman: Yo, Bruce-man, sorry I'm late. What's the sitch?
Batman: Well, as I wrote in the comprehensive brief I sent out-
Superman: Oh, no worries, totally glanced over that. Double-Face, right? What's his deal again? Laser eyes? Super-speed?
Batman: No, he's, um, obsessed with the number two.
Superman: Ha! No, seriously. What's he do? Mind control?
Batman: Well, he also has this skin condition.
Superman: Are you f*cking kidding me? One sec.
*Superman crashes out through the wall.*
Batman: Actually, the skin thing is more of a metaphor for the duality of-
*Superman flies back in, carrying a handcuffed Two-Face.*
Superman: Done.
Two-Face: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?
Superman: Also, while I was out, I went ahead and stopped crime. All of it.
Batman: But- The mission- My parents-
Superman: Dude, no worries, you can totally lighten up now.
*A single tear emerges from under Batman's cowl.*
Superman: Anyway, I'm headed to Cabo. Anybody want a lift?
*A cop tentatively raises his hand.*
Superman: Um, yeah, sorry man, when I say "anybody", I was really only talking to the chicks in the room. Any takers? No? Ah, well your loss. Later!
*Superman crashes through the other wall. Roll credits.*
4 think they know |
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skippi16
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2008 24 June :: 4.23pm
im pretty much done with all of this crap.... just keep looking on that one day it will all be over and i will be able to just sit down and relax... and there will nothing more left to do... finished... done
in other news.................nope there really isnt anythnig cept i sat for almost 3 hours folding, and stamping invitations and it is obvious to me that it dont really matter
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m&ms487
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2008 23 June :: 2.19pm
I made hummus today. It was yummy.
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m&ms487
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2008 21 June :: 6.46pm
Reading the text of Dante's Inferno with the original and translated text side by side makes me want to learn Italian.
And then I remember that I haven't even taken French 101 yet.
Why does language have to be so ambiguous and random!?!
2 think they know |
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m&ms487
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2008 20 June :: 5.51pm
I just feel so tired. My day off, and I feel tired.
I guess that's what happens when...
whatever.
I'm analyzing the previous poem more in depth. It's quite depressing, and I feel like I'm missing something. I think Eliot's trying to say that he's an atheist, and if there is a god, we're really fucked.
Me too.
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m&ms487
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2008 18 June :: 11.47pm
Dear Student,
At this time the awarding of the Bulletin Scholarships has been completed. Unfortunately, you were not selected for a scholarship awarded by the Office of Scholarships and Financial Aid (OSFA) for the 2008-2009 academic year. There were over 475 applicants this year and only 147 received a scholarship. We will keep your application on file and will consider you for additional scholarships that may become available. Please apply again in March 2009 if you are not graduating in May.
We wish you continued success as you pursue your educational goals.
Sincerely,
Judith Boyd
Assistant Director
Scholarships and Financial Aid
Okay, so if a 3.95 GPA can't get me any academic scholarships in this country, what am I suppose to do!?!
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fishyrere
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2008 17 June :: 9.20pm
Norman died.
*cries*
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m&ms487
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2008 15 June :: 10.28pm
:: Mood: complacent
It's late and I'm extremely exhausted; yet, I cannot, will not sleep. My body will not rest, so I am up, and writing. I am here.
I was reviewing some of my anthologies of literature as I often do upon trying to sleep. I flip through the pages and catch words, lines, sometimes whole stanzas or paragraphs of immortalized words and tonight I happened across one of the most depressing, yet insightful poems written in the modern period. It is T.S. Eliot's "The Hollow Men."
It seems like this time in the world-this time in my life with which I can view the world-fits into this piece so well. It talks about the fall of man because of what mankind has become: weak cowards. Eliot likens men to scarecrows in the desert that have no eyes and can only whisper meaningless things; their only hope is death.
I.
We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
We shipser together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry glass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar
Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us-if at all-not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.
II.
Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
These do not appera:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
IN the wind's singing
More distand and more solemn
Than a fading star.
Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer-
Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom
III.
This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, her they recive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.
Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.
IV.
The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms
In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river
Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.
V.
Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.
Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long
Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
1925
Eliot says "This is the dead land" because we aren't living, and as much as we want to repent and "[tremble] with tenderness," we are only forming "prayers to broken stone," the same stone Eliot reveals that only exist because of the "supplication" of mankind's hands. We worship what we make, but prayers don't help any when you worship false ideals and material wealth made in hopes of becoming whole again that were made by corrupt hands. The act of the prayer can't even be completed because it can only be formed by the lips of the dead man who cannot speak; prayer that is nothing more than whispers that are "quiet and meaningless."
The whole effect? The futility of life, the cowardice of man, the corruption of man, inability to speak or see, the only possibly redeption and hope in man's death or nonexistence, the "shadow" of corruption in which we ruin everything that is good and pure in the world, man's inability to end his world "not with a band but a whimper."
Many times I feel this. Many times I see this.
1 think they know |
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m&ms487
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2008 15 June :: 8.10pm
There are so many journals that are suspended in time like a fly in an amulet of amber.
It seems like everyone leaves off on a high point in their lives, descibing good times with friends they probably don't talk to now; high school replaced by the doldrum of the working world, paying bills, realizing how disparate we all are from each other. Instead of writing about an unremarkable life they just all decided to inexorably stop at the climax.
Or maybe they're all off having such a good time they just forgot about woohu.
Or perhaps they're all indolent. Writing is an excerise of the mind. Sometimes it takes all the energy I have to come up with a complete transcribed thought; then again, I will never be able to completly transcribe my thoughts into words. Words are insufficient for the goings-ons of my mind.
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m&ms487
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2008 14 June :: 10.50pm
I punched out at 10:10pm from work. I'm in again in less than six hours. Woot for 6:45 am shifts. boo.
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m&ms487
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2008 12 June :: 9.51pm
I had an Andy sighting today. He was at Meijer with Clem and Jessa. Yes, folks, the great creator of woohu goes to Meijer.
On to other items:
I'm reading The Inferno by none other than Dante. I've always been curious about the whole hell thing for the simple fact that if it does exist, that's where you can mail your correspondences to me in the afterlife. I don't believe in God GOD...you know, He who smites and give powers to part seas and all that. I believe in a higher power, which I prefer to call fate.
So, it was my pleasure to start reading about where I could possibly spend eternity in some nicely translated verse. In all actuality, I would only be banished to the second circle, or the realm of the damned for having premarital relations. This entails constantly contorting while being thrown through "That hellish cyclone that can never rest" which "snatches the spirits up in its driving whirl/ [and] whisks them about and beats and buffets them." That is for people who commit adulterous affairs...so I'm not quite sure if I would fully fit in there.
If I don't, then I'll only be relegated to limbo, which isn't all that bad I guess. It would just be a bunch of people, like Virgil, Homer, Aristotle, and some unbaptized babies who "did not sin." People who "lived before the Christian faith, [but] did not give God homage as they ought" and the only bad thing is they are "hopeless, [and] live forever in desire."
Poetry just makes everything seem a little better. That's why I'm an English major. When I'm starving because food is too expensive and I have to pay back college loans, I'll have my poetry and the knowledge that I'll have a cyclone to one day call home.
2 think they know |
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skippi16
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2008 11 June :: 10.24pm
ahhhhhhhhhhh i finally get a day off where stuff really got done. did 5 loads of laundry, cleaned out the fridge and pretty much the whole house!
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