Useless Ramblings

:: 2005 20 June :: 9.36 am

Can't shuffle cards like I used to, but the ladies sure like it.

:: 2005 17 June :: 10.38 pm

Dirty fun with SUV names

Every time you see an SUV add the word "anal" to it's name, like this:

Anal Explorer
Anal Discovery
Anal Pathfinder
Anal Excursion
Anal Navigator
Anal Hummer
Anal Axiom
Anal Sequioa
Anal Aviator
Anal Pilot
Anal Element
Anal Landcruiser
Anal Outlander
Anal Freelander
Anal Ridgeline
Anal Avalanche
Anal Touareg
Anal Torrent
Anal Envoy XL
Anal Trailblazer
Anal Suburban
Anal Cayenne
Anal Montero Sport
Anal Yukon
Anal Tahoe
Anal Monterey
Anal 4 Runner
Anal Highlander
Anal Expedition
Anal Liberty

:: 2005 13 June :: 11.53 pm

Hey, Sloan gave me the finger.

:: 2005 9 June :: 10.19 pm

I feel like a gay ninja.

:: 2005 4 June :: 12.18 am
:: Music: Michael Buble

I'm lost.

:: 2005 3 June :: 6.34 am

Whether it�s the democrat who pretends he likes you, or the republican who hates you and lets you know it; either way once they�re in office they�re not going to do a goddamn thing, so I say may the best self serving son of a bitch win.
-Brian Kinney

:: 2005 30 May :: 11.57 pm

Great day. The beach is always fun.

:: 2005 16 May :: 10.14 pm

Career Quiz suggestions:

Aerospace Engineer
Architect
Astronaut
Auto Mechanic
Avionics Technician
Baseball Player
Biologist
Political Campaign Worker
Carpenter
Caterer
Chef
Chemical Engineer
Chemist
Civil Engineer
Computer Engineer/Systems Analyst
Computer Operator/Programmer
Construction Manager
Criminologist
Detective/Private Investigator
Developer
Ecologist
Electrical Engineer
Electrician
Entrepreneur
Environmentalist/Environmental Scientist
Farmer
FBI Agent
Firefighter
Geologist
Geophysicist
Industrial Engineer
Information Manager
Machinist
Manufacturing Executive
Mathematician
Military Officer
Nuclear Engineer
Organizational Developer
Paramedic
Park Ranger
Petroleum Engineer
Physicist
Pilot
Power Plant Manager
Plastics Manufacturer
Police Officer/Manager
Printer
Production Manager
Quality Control Manager
Robotics Engineer
Software Developer
Sports Manager
Statistician
Structural Engineer
Technician
Television Producer
Textile Manufacturer
Stage Technician
Veterinarian
Hazardous Waste Manager
Zoologist
Corrections Officer
Physician Assistant
Training Specialist
Webmaster
Biochemist
Network Engineer
Small Business Owner
Trader
Web Programmer
Consultant
Private Investigator
Radio Producer
Army-Officer
Army-Enlisted
Navy-Officer
Navy-Enlisted
Marines-Officer
Marines-Enlisted
Air Force-Officer
Air Force-Enlisted
Coast Guard-Officer
Coast Guard-Enlisted
Army National Guard
Air Force National Guard

:: 2005 9 May :: 9.38 pm

I'd like to kick you through the uprights like a fucking field goal.

:: 2005 8 May :: 11.03 pm

Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

:: 2005 25 April :: 2.29 am

Militant Atheist: I don�t know and neither do you.

:: 2005 22 April :: 9.52 pm
:: Music: About A Boy

Firm up!

:: 2005 20 April :: 4.47 pm
:: Music: Green Day: Redundant

Once again I�m amazed by the intelligence by our maintenance people. I looked at the work order, time in is listed as 2:36, time out as 2:35.

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:: 2005 10 April :: 9.25 pm

So this is what college is like.

I'm afraid to break the barrier.

:: 2005 2 April :: 11.25 pm

Amanda: I can pretend that's a girl.
Michelle: But look at his balls.

:: 2005 1 April :: 1.12 am
:: Music: No Doubt: Spider Web

Michelle: I think I popped my ovary.

:: 2005 24 March :: 10.49 pm

Your Porn Star Name is: Dan Rather

Get your own Porn Star Name

:: 2005 22 March :: 3.12 pm

Thing, Thing 1, & Thing 3. Because I'm the third.

:: 2005 22 March :: 9.50 am

The US Government decided to end the dispute over which US agency was superior to all others. The three finest organizations, the FBI, CIA, and LAPD, were to be put to a test, and whichever agency had the best results would be hereafter be dubbed the greatest agency in the US.

The task was this. A small bunny rabbit would be released into a large forest, whichever agency could find it the fastest would be the winner.

First up was the CIA. The CIA used undercover agents dressed as trees and other animals to try to build up intelligence on the bunny's location. After spending nearly 3 months in the forest trying to build up basic intelligence, they gave up, knowing that they had lost and would never find the bunny.

Next up was the FBI. For a full month, they scoured the forest looking for any hints or clues. After the month was over, the FBI came out, burned down the forest and claimed that no such bunny ever existed.

Finally, it was the LAPD's turn. They barged into the forest and after 20 minutes, a battered and dazed bear came stumbling out of the forest screaming, "I'M A BUNNY, I'M A BUNNY!"

:: 2005 21 March :: 11.47 pm
:: Mood: depressed

Caw! Caw!

If only life were that easy.

:: 2005 15 March :: 10.44 pm

http://www.chippewavalleymedia.com/fuller/obits/burgesspaul.html

Paul Phillip Burgess, Sr., age 79, of Fall Creek went home to be with the Lord early Saturday morning, March 12, 2005 at Luther Hospital in Eau Claire surrounded by family.

He was born in Eau Claire, WI on July 9, 1925, the youngest son of Ezra and Emma (Johnson) Burgess.

Funeral Services will be at 11:00 AM on Wednesday morning March 16th, 2005 at the Pentecostal Assembly Church in Eau Claire. Pastor John Tandberg will officiate. Burial will be in the Rest Haven Cemetery in the Town of Washington with military rites conducted by the American Legion Post #53.

Paul was raised on a farm in the Eau Claire area and attended school until the 8th grade. After school he went to work for the Pepsi Cola Bottling Company until he enlisted in the United States Marine Corps on July 7, 1943. He served his country in the South Pacific for 12 months until VJ day and then for six months in China before being discharged on April 5, 1946.

On September 14, 1946 he married Ione Elizabeth (Henning) of Cleghorn at the First Baptist Church parsonage in Eau Claire, WI. Paul and Ione were married for 58 � years at the time of his death.

Paul was a man of many trades including working for the City of Eau Claire, doing carpentry work with his sons and farming for 35 years until he retired. He taught Sunday school for several years and loved to sing and serve the Lord.

He will be missed dearly by his wife, Ione, and 10 surviving children. Steven (Brenda) of Eau Claire, Paula of Ogden, Utah, Mark (Judi) of Boerne, Texas, Elizabeth (Dan) of Rock Falls, Peter (Nancy) of Elk Mound, Andy (Diane) of Fall Creek, Nathan (Brenda) of Brackett, Benjamin of Fall Creek, Joanna of Eau Claire and Mary Beth of Fall Creek. His son, Paul II, preceded him in death July, 1996.

Paul and Ione have 21 grandchildren, 23 greatgrandchildren and three grandpets, Rustie, Oscar and Caitlin Rose. Paul is survived by many nieces, nephews, cousins, his sister-in-law, Nora Burgess and daughter-in-law, Lori Bates.

He was preceded in death by his parents, a son: Paul Burgess II, brothers, Harold, Clifford, Roger, Russell, David, sisters, Marjorie, Emma Tollefson, Arlie Wood, Gloria Johnson, and Mary Lou Thompson and great granddaughter, Michaela.

Family and friends may call at the Pentecostal Assembly Church in Eau Claire Tuesday evening March 15th, from 5:00 PM - 8:00 PM and again on Wednesday morning from 10 AM until the time of services. Friends and family are invited to sign the guest book online at www.fullerspeckien.com.

Fuller-Speckien Funeral Home is assisting the family with arrangements.

:: 2005 11 March :: 10.06 am
:: Music: Maroon 5: Sunday Morning

For some reason I could not sleep last night, so I got up at 7am today. Started doing laundry and some general cleaning. Get a call from my dad, which is really weird. He never calls, it�s usually mom and the phone is passed around. Grandpa is in the hospital again, apparently, they expect him to die later today, and the funeral will be sometime next week.

Andy gave my dad the snowmobile, which is odd. It�s only about two years old, and is worth more than my truck. Not that I am complaining mind you.

Just a sort of down morning, at least there was a little up to go with it. I hope that tonight will continue with the latter.

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:: 2005 11 March :: 2.02 am
:: Music: Vertical Horizon: Give You Back

Stopped by the girls� place tonight. So much that I cannot put into words.

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:: 2005 8 March :: 1.06 am
:: Music: Nirvana

Good night. Robin Williams and Andy Roddick on Leno tonight. Just two of my favorite people to watch. Got to relax, read some, and watch TV. Very quiet and relaxing.

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:: 2005 6 March :: 10.16 pm

Cute animals never fail to cheer me up.

:: 2005 3 March :: 11.52 pm

Drunk beyond belief. Thanks Michelle and mike. Also Jason. Great night.

:: 2005 24 February :: 12.01 am

Jason: "My wee wee wants to come out and play".

:: 2005 10 February :: 9.27 am

"A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence, University education." --George Bernard Shaw