Useless Ramblings

:: 2006 15 June :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: reminiscent

From The Vault
"You can have everything, you just can't have it all at the same time." Jason Frasier

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:: 2006 14 June :: 11.46pm

Jason would be proud with my coupon use. My total savings on my DVD order was $185.23.

:: 2006 14 June :: 10.24pm

:: 2006 14 June :: 8.51pm

mbenznut: "x-Playgirl centerfold Dirk Shafer directs "
TaoMan1121: oh god

:: 2006 14 June :: 5.57pm

Learned a new word today, mandy.

:: 2006 14 June :: 10.26am

i feel like every few days i lose focus. i have not drank or smoked gange since friday, but i still feel like maybe i have made a mistake hanging out with these people. i LOVE them, but they seen to be more intrerested in partying than relationship building or taking care of themselves. I dont know...i guess i just feel weird about spending so much time and energy on a bunch of people that dont know me and dont seem to care to really.

here is my other thing; i miss camp. I miss it more everyday and knowing that at this very moment they are at staff training and missing me (which i know they are because i have talked to 3 of the staff members from last year and they have all been very sad at my absence) makes it A LOT WORSE. I know that i made the right decision, but i can't help it, i miss it like crazy and i thik it is onl going to get worse the more alienated and sad kalamazoo makes me.

I have noticed that kzoo has a tendency to depress people. It is weird how people are happy, then they come here and it sucks the joy out of them...it is a joysucker. i have also noticed that people keep running away from kzoo. I want to run away, but i need something to run to, and want someone to run with...

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:: 2006 14 June :: 1.19am

Paris Hilton's music video is so fucking funny.

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 13 June :: 5.36pm

i have way too much shit to do in the next 7 weeks. arrgghh.

RSVPs: 21 yes, 1 no, 155 sent

:: 2006 12 June :: 9.21pm

So I now know that it is possible for someone to pee in-between the toilet seat and bowl, making a giant mess in the process.

I hate having holds put on my bank account just because I deposit �too much� money.

Why do credit card readers have soft keys if they don�t use them? And why aren�t the keys that you do use lined up with the on screen prompts?

Kalamazoo is trying to get a Wisconsin resident (myself) to attend jury duty.

Another hellish Monday.

:: 2006 12 June :: 6.34pm

Soy un perdador
Music is power
Some people strike terror
Into the hearts of millions
With one chord
While others can gain
Allegiance
Devotion
Love
Respect
Soy un perdador
I don�t know how to play guitar
I don�t know the placement
Of finger to strings
Or of notes to music
I can�t sing
I can�t make my voice
Into the current
Directing melody down
The river
I am the rock
Soy un perdador
I bring pain to brains
And ears
And glass
I strangle a note
until both of us lose breath
and it dies
and I inhale
Soy un perdador
Music is power
It escapes me
Yet it is a passion
Beyond the adoration I have felt
For anyone else
It is living
Even now

:: 2006 12 June :: 11.52am

i got home today and had a package waiting for me in the office. I thought my mom had sent me a surprise...but it was BETTER!

I opened the envelope and inside was an AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF THE OTH CAST!!!

woot. i love great surprises.

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:: 2006 11 June :: 11.17pm
:: Music: Moulin Rouge: The Movie

TaoMan1121: ...... i wish you could see the look of overwhelming on my face right now
mbenznut: Get your camera.
mbenznut: And why overwhelming?
TaoMan1121: get my camera? AHHHHHHHHHH!

:: 2006 11 June :: 3.53pm
:: Mood: perky
:: Music: Genesis - That's All

God Bless America & Spirit Airlines
Booked a flight home for the Fourth (July 3rd-10th). I was about ready to give up on a trip home for the holiday (tickets were $270-$300 into GR), when, on a whim, I checked flights into D-Town. Found a Spirit Air flight, round-trip, including taxes, for $100. Yes, that's a 1 before those two zeros after it. And Michelle is going to nice enough to pick me up and take me back to GR. I'm excited. Parental set #1 comes out the week after next, with the second to follow in late summer/early fall, hopefully.

Things I want to do while I'm home:
- Grandville 4th of July parade
- Fireworks (Grand Haven, downtown GR, or Grandville... basically any place with 'Grand' in its name)
- Michigan's Adventure ("Whoooooooooosh") & Getty 4 Drive-In ("We don't need no stinkin' orange dots)
- Obligatory cookout
- Catch up with people without trying to do too much and get stressed out about seeing everyone
- Enjoy the weather (::shakes fist towards MI:: You damn well better work with me this year!)
- Head up to Laman's Landing in Ludington and visit my grandma (if she's up there at all during my stay)
- See ~~Superman Returns~~ The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift & Click
- Do a tour of my eye doctor, dentist, and GP (so I can actually get refills on my Rxs again)
- Trip to beach (if not accomplished during aforementioned fireworks)
- Make-up Dungeon visit (and other usual restaurants indulgences)

Anybody want in on any of that? Joe, you like roller coasters/water parks? ;-)

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:: 2006 8 June :: 9.00pm
:: Mood: momentarily satisfied
:: Music: Everclear - Amphetamine

amy wakes me up/in the middle of the night/just to tell me everything will be alright/
i tell myself the same damn thing/everyday
Finally got my grades for last semester:

Applied Behavior Analysis II (Theory) - A
Applied Behavior Analysis II (Practicum) - A
Social Psychology - A-
Ethical/Legal Issues in Psychology - A+

If it wasn't for that damn Social take-home final, I'd have my first 4.0, like ever. But I'm still really happy, not that grades matter in grad school anyway. I'm really surprised by my Ethics grade. I haven't had an A+ since high school; I didn't even know anybody gave those out at this stage of the game.

Bought a new DVD ~~player~~ carousel today. I like it. I especially like DVDs not pixelating and freezing up on me and making noises that make me want to punch babies. I'm going to watch Munich tonight... god, I love that movie.

I had a wonderful time last weekend with Michelle. It's amazing, despite all the situational difficulties that we encountered, I think it actually made the experience that much richer. And just getting drunk, watching MST3K, and generally acting retarded, I felt like I was leading a completely different life, and I liked it. And the pictures she/we took turned out great... I'll have to post some in a little bit.

"The master would not approve." Torgo

(edit 9:26pm) In today's 'WTF' news: Former American Idol contestant Chris Daughtry declined an offer to take over lead vocals in the alternative rock band Fuel, opting instead to go solo.

(edit 9:59pm) Found another thoroughly entertaining pop-culture list article:
The 13 Most Unpopular Characters in TV History
Supplemental Wikipedia entry mentioned in article:
Wikipedia - Cousin Oliver Syndrome

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:: 2006 8 June :: 12.01am

today was awesome and sucky all in one. I went from an absolute high after seeing chip to feeling like my future happiness is in serious jeopardy. we'll see...

P.S. I love Chip though.

:: 2006 6 June :: 1.22am

tonight i went to the ghetto again. I did not drinl, but i tried to smoke the rest of my pack of little cigars and only have 2 left. after this, i am not buying any more.
the drama continued and they seem to like to fight over me. it is weird, they both want me to be nice to them and not so much the other or something. I dont know either one enough to choose a side, so i remain nuetral.
Mel was belig then i got there at 1030. so was allison. i was just a very strange night. i think there might be a little hooking up over there. alas, i am going to bed now...alone, but happy to be drama-free.

:: 2006 5 June :: 7.10pm

miche;;e is coming over!
YAY!
*claps giddily*

:: 2006 4 June :: 1.09pm

We�re all gay to a certain degree.

Oh yeah? Prove it.

Do you like porn?

Yeah, you know I do.

Only scenes with two women together?

No scenes with a man and a woman making love.

Oh, do you like the man to have a small half-flaccid penis?

No, I like big hard throbbing cock.

:: 2006 4 June :: 1.56pm

dont tell me the sky is not blue today
i am not blind
i see through you dont i
dont tell me i am better off
i know what is best
i know you are not it
yesterday you said things
vomited words you didnt mean
but couldnt stop
Your words left you
they flew away and landed
in my ears
to drill my brain like a woodpecker
speaking of peckers...

:: 2006 4 June :: 12.55pm

"Stop investing money in Cialis and Viagra and start investing money in making cum taste like chocolate. "

"Come here Willy Wonka."

:: 2006 2 June :: 11.30am
:: Music: Fiona again

i identify with many of her lyrics....
"Paper Bag"

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,' he said
'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything'
But he didn't get it I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

:: 2006 2 June :: 2.56am

tired like whoa...
today was a very eventful day, here is a recap:

Yesterday crystal ams mel told me about going to party USA and invited me, i in turn invted them to hang out by the freshly opened pool. Degrandchamp of course got in on the festivities too. I came home last night and got to cleaning. I cleaned my bathroom and room pretty well and then got to sleep at 5am. I woke up at 945 to call crystal for a morning adventure to goodwill, and by the time she got here and we went there, we were hungryso we went to JJ and called mel and mike. mike didnt answer so i left a message, and mel couldnt decide, so we get to the car and mel says she wants some, so i go back insie and get her a sandwich, then right as i get back to the car again mike calls and says he wants soe too, so i went in for a 3rd time. finally we get to the ghetto and we eat and go to party usa. we looked around fro a while, it was fairly sparse on the piate themed decorations and such but by the time we left crystal had to get ready for work, then we called jon and mike decided to bail, so we just went to the ghetto and layed in mels backyard w/ jon. Mike ran some errands and then chillaxed too. Jon and mel made food and then the 3 houses decided to have a little (haha) party. Allisons had jello shots and beerpong, mels had a fire, and jons had beerpong (and drugs). I hung out byt the fire most of the night, and i had a lot of jelloshots, but they started to make me feel queasy, so i was drinking cherry coke, but for some reason this did not make people happy, so they hept giving me free beers. I stopped drinking really early though so i could drive home, but at like 215 i was at jons w/ some people and mike cut the shit out of his finger being a drunk-ass. I tried my best to help, then i came home. I am tired like whoa, but there are so many questions that i have in my head now. i will have to contemplate and get back to y'all.

PS. I love hugs.

coot1120

:: 2006 1 June :: 10.19pm

Sorry I can't make this easy for you all and just post the pictures here, but I don't know how. Anyway, if your interested in checking out my new baby cousin evan go to www.xanga.com/coot1120. He is quite the cutie!

:: 2006 1 June :: 4.16pm

Dead Man's Shoes looks like a good movie.

:: 2006 31 May :: 9.47pm
:: Music: VH1: Rock Honors

Go lick some ass?

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 31 May :: 9.04pm

wow, i love my almost-husband.

bridal shower on sunday. sending out the wedding invites sometime before then. i love feeling like I've got things on track.

on a less positive note, my dj appears to have dropped off the face of the earth. which could totally suck, if I have to find somebody new.

also, i desperately need a new job.

:: 2006 31 May :: 5.32pm
:: Music: Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know (Acoustic)

"You are a man of extreme passion, a hungry man not quite sure where his appetite lies, a deeply frustrated man striving to project his individuality against a backdrop of rigid conformity. You exist in a half-world suspended between two superstructures, one self-expression and the other self-destruction. You are strong, but there is a flaw in your strength, and unless you learn to control it the flaw will prove stronger than your strength and defeat you."
- In Cold Blood

Coney Island pics behind the cut...
Read more..

:: 2006 31 May :: 11.31am

I love you, don't forget i have gone through very similar shit before, and i am here if you ever need me.

I took my CS midterm today and i am not feeling especially good about it. I thought i was prepared, but i was wrong. Also I do not have to work tomarrow or friday until 430pm, so if anyone can do anything tonight or tomarrow, cell me.

I love my new friends, they are fun and we make adventures all the time....but i miss you guys a lot. I never just chillax anymore, everything is always in motion and blurry and i havent really gotten the chance to conect with anyone on a deeper level. AND it is redonk how much alchi i consume with them. It feels like we never hang out without alchi or hookah or pot or cigs or something. I have not smoked any pot though, even though i have been offered numerous times.

Here is a song i have in my head:

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache

(MICHELLE- remember the fat man in the water in the vid? HAHAHAHA)

:: 2006 29 May :: 11.50pm

well, tonight i watched the pistons lose, but with a very cute boy who seems very different than anyone i have ever met. the back of my thighs are fried and i saw 2 people i forgot existed. overall, great day...and night. I could have stayed and gotten drunk and high, played beerpong and ran through the sprinklers, but i decided to bail and sleep for my shift @ 8am. DAMN YOU KOHLS! Oh well, it was a long hot day and i am glad to be in my bed.

That is all, goodbye.