Megan's Journal

:: 2005 25 September :: 6.39pm

i feel like you're walking on me. i'm so miserable i don't know what to do.

:: 2005 25 September :: 4.57pm

no.

:: 2005 24 September :: 8.21pm

everything is alright. yay!

cool room/roomate/floor mates

dipiety doooo

:: 2005 23 September :: 11.20am

my fish died and i feel all guitly about it. i'm pretty sure he suffered cause i suck at life.

i don't know what to do for the next two hours

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i hate today.

6 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 17 September :: 2.18pm

this is what is ridiculous about the math department.

1. we're a chapter ahead of our homework.
2. there are two seperate chapters for one kind of problem
3. the pretest opened wednesday, closes today and we're not even technically finished with the chapter until tuesday.
4. i haven't gotten any feedback on if i'm doing okay or not
5. i have a grad assistant who is really nice, but not sure what he's doing in charge of my really bitchy class
6. there is only ONE room for 1200 people to take their tests in THREE days. I didn't wait until the last minute, i had to finish my homework

seriously, i thought i understood this stuff.

:: 2005 15 September :: 3.46pm

so i was really sad yesterday right?

but it's okay becase:

I got some direction on my lame-o english paper
i got something really really special in the mail
there's a secret on the third floor that i am privy to
my boyfriend is really hot and he's moving into a house and i get to see him on sunday
sam is coming on friday
OUTspoken tonight
Rainbow reception on Friday
Irish Fest on Saturday
i saw a bunch of cards that reminded me of my friend ken the robot and i remembered that i love her
matt heath found me
i watched the daily show while eating tangerine jelly bellies
i did aerobics today and didn't die or cry
stephanie wilde left me a note (i'll call you soon!!!)
my parents are going to split my insurance with me
i drank milk today and didn't have any donuts
i love jake huizenga

:: 2005 14 September :: 4.23pm

i can't write this paper. could it be any more boring?

seriously. i can't.

and i had any more to think about i will combust.

2 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 13 September :: 4.19pm
:: Music: blink182-

catching things and eating their insides. . .

crying from happiness?

me?

question mark!

:: 2005 9 September :: 11.46pm
:: Music: rocket summer, mcs

i'm so pissed right now. i had a bad turned good night and i'm still pissed.

i don't know how to deal. i feel guilty for being here. i feel guitly for not wanting to go to the lobster party. but i'm mad. i could have my car if he weren't being a d-bag. and then we wouldn't have to worry about how i'm getting home. and everything would be cool.

i'm going to kill something

:: 2005 9 September :: 7.55pm
:: Music: brandston-mercy medical

little girl so beautiful, with life so new and meaningful

I don't know what's wrong with me.

fffffffffuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkk

:: 2005 9 September :: 4.02pm

mychemicalromance
I need my car. That's not even a joke

:: 2005 2 September :: 8.38pm

it's not that i hate my mom. . .

am i bad? am i too needy and selfish? maybe i'm just the smelly kid.

reason number 112 why my mom doesnt make sense:
i ask if i can return pop cans so i can make some money for my parking ticket. she says she'll give it to me as a graduation present even though she's already given me two. one being 300 hundred dollars.

i ask for shampoo and toothpaste and stuff like that. she bitches about it to me to my friends to anyone who will listen.

i don't want food from the store. i get called a bitch.

yeah i'm moody, i exagerate, i whine. so does she.

i don't want to go home. i don't want anything from her. i just want to cry until i explode.

:: 2005 1 September :: 10.39pm

car pass-$300 a year
insurance-100+ a month
gas-3.19

i can't have a car.

so that means. . .i might not be able to have the tutoring job i want and am super qualifed for

and i won't make 8.25 an hour

i can't go shopping or see kalamazoo on my own.

i can't see jake.

I CANT SEE JAKE

i will die.

15 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 28 August :: 7.29pm

hey quit freaking me out.

5 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 26 August :: 10.56pm

THIS IS MY PHONE NUMBER!!!!!!

269-276-2519!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:: 2005 26 August :: 6.30pm
:: Music: my chemical romance

i'm at college and i'm a badass

:: 2005 20 August :: 9.22pm

maybe i need to grow up. or maybe my mom needs to calm down. maybe realize that i'm leaving in TWO DAYS and i'm not going to take the compost out.

i don't care.

i'm packing. i'm relaxing. i'm doin' a little illin' with my peeps.

maybe i am a bitch though. she's probably right about that.

I LOVE JESSICA WILDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:: 2005 19 August :: 9.57pm

i'm so cranky, i think i might kill something.

i'm leaving in four days. i can't stand it.

:: 2005 12 August :: 5.37pm
:: Music: i would be listening to the darkness, but windows media playa is on crack

seriously. . .
...ummm. . .I'm cool.

:: 2005 11 August :: 9.46pm

okay, so i'm leaving this junkyard in like a little more than a week.
EXCITED!!!
anyone want to hang out?

6 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 8 August :: 7.16pm
:: Mood: upset

i'm disapearing. no, seriously. i feel so fucked up. like i'm not motivated to do anything. but i hate napping and being so lame. i don't know. i just want to get out of this place and never come back. cedar springs is so depressing. my god. i just want to end it every time i drive through. and. . .he keeps getting so upset. it's not helping. even when i'm being good i feel guilty. i don't have to have reasons. i have feelings. and there's my brother who is probably the biggest asshole ever. everyone says stand up to him. . .where does that get me? crying. it's easier just to let him have his way. then my nerves are solid. and my mom makes me nervous even when she's not yelling at me. maybe that's why i'm so annoyed with her all the time. she could go off any time. and there are friends i'm neglecting. and i'm a big phony liar and i'm not very nice or anything. and i feel fat. i know i'm not, but i feel like i could be soon, but no one will exercise with me and then i can't keep it up. actually the only person who will exercise with me is a lot stronger and has more endurance and he makes me feel bad because i'm weak in the athletics department. and i don't have any money and when i do i spend it on things i don't need. i'm tired of my cell phone. not the phone itself, but having one is making me ache. i think i hate cell phones. and this whole thing is lame because it's all excuses. i'm freaking out.

:: 2005 4 August :: 9.41pm

i think i might be prickly. like when your feet fall asleep and you get those pins and needles.

i'm also obsessive and fleeting.

i've got to talk to kerry real real bady bad

:: 2005 31 July :: 10.35am

i have three bras.

two of them are ruined.

now i'm gonna cry.

3 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 28 July :: 5.44pm

i've been waiting five years for ryan gorter to be sent to jail and it's finally happening.

12 werdz | leave werds