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m&ms487
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2006 28 August :: 10.03am
:: Mood: envious
I just had my first class- computers and society. It's a huge lecture class with about 250 people in it.
I feel so sheltered here sometimes. In the library the book shelves move along a track so they can be squished together or moved, to allow for more books in less space. I just found it so cool, considering the cedar library is about the size of my dorm room. Just little things like that make me feel like I was cheated out of some things growing up in cedar.
I'm getting along a little better with everyone. It is known in the towers that my floor is the party floor. As soon as the elevator doors open you can feel the bass. You can't really hear the bass (it's too loud), but you can defineately feel it. Our RA is cool too. He pretty much told us that he doesn't care what we do, as long as we don't drink in the dorm. A bunch of us were in the hallway Saturday night, defineatly not sober, talking to him. I made a sign and put it on his door that says,
" I want to be the little man who turns the light on and off in the fridge."
I do good work.
Next, I have my English class at noon. I'm actually excited about that, and hopefully everything goes well, considering English is most likely going to be my major.
When I was reading Jane Eyre in the study room yesterday, I met a really nice guy who lives down the hall. There are some cool people here at Central.
-Michelle
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m&ms487
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2006 25 August :: 12.04pm
:: Mood: impressed
So, here at CMU now. Good fun. I'm in the library with Jackie.
I'm going to have to get use to all of this, I'm so tired from all the walking I've done already today.
I miss everyone already!
I have an ensemble audition on Tuesday! Classes start monday. I've gotten all of my books and things like that. It's quite exciting.
More to come, though, not as frequent as i might have hoped: until classes start i have to walk all the way to the library to update. I'm starting to hate moving. :)
michelle
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m&ms487
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2006 23 August :: 3.47pm
:: Mood: intimidated
:: Music: I'll follow you into the dark - death cab
I'm leaving for Central tomorrow after my dentist appointment.
We went to IHOP last night, and then to Meijer, and then to the cemetery. Creepy shit.
Summer is over.
No more drunken nights of should be regrets, no more nights getting the shit scared out of us at the cemetery, no more lake parties, no more camping, no more going to work with a hang over.
Well, the last one, maybe...or not.
We'll see. I'm not quite sure what to make of this whole 'college' thing yet.
For some, an institution of higher education, for many others, well, what can I say? It's a party school after all.
3 found the love |
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m&ms487
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2006 20 August :: 8.29am
:: Mood: exhausted
This is my last week here for a long time.
I called in sick today for work because, lucky me, I have a bad ass cold.
I'm leaving Thursday sometime. If you want to hang out, or give me kisses, or give me flowers, or give me presents, or write long nonsensical poems, or just want to have general relations with me, give me a ring before then.
Jessie, I know which one you want to do :).
Tomorrow is my last day of work, and fittingly I'm working until the desk closes.
Who knew!
Where are we going? We're going to a party, a birthday party, you're birthday party! Happy birthday darling, we love you
very
very
very
very
much.
Good morning everyone! Have a wonderful day.
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m&ms487
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2006 10 August :: 7.40am
She threw a fucking rock at us....
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m&ms487
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2006 4 August :: 8.57am
I'm home from camping. It was full of experiences, some of which I had never partaken in before.
It was extremely hot. I went swimming. I slept. I ate. I made friends. I fried criss cross potatoes in a wok.
milk....milk was a bad idea.
michelle
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m&ms487
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2006 31 July :: 7.17pm
Camping with matt and rueben and katie and joe tomorrow.
ah the bliss.
eating mother's stir fry. tastes odd. first home cooked meal in days.
callouses forming on my finger tips. beautiful music to my ears.
Plan B may be available without a prescription.
michelle
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m&ms487
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2006 28 July :: 10.29pm
:: Mood: depressed
I can't help but feel that I'm wasting my life.
I'm wasting my talent.
I'm wasting.
I'm wasted.
3 found the love |
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m&ms487
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2006 26 July :: 6.27pm
:: Mood: worried
I had a picnic with Kae and Aaron today.
Lovely rain.
I would be a toaster, so I could take two slices at once.
Sometimes I catch a glimpse,
Of the world which I see,
A beautiful scene, magical,
You could never know what I mean.
"Sometimes I think this cycle never ends, we slide from top to bottom then we turn and climb again..."
I listened to Transatlanticism for the first time today. It was beautiful.
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m&ms487
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2006 22 July :: 6.46am
:: Mood: listless
I haven't slept in 28 hours, and if I go to bed soon I'm looking at about four hours of sleep before the park picnic and then work until 10 tonight.
I had my CMU orientation yesterday morning. Very informative. I got some of the classes I wanted, the others I dropped and added the correct ones. Twelve credit hours, not bad.
BIO 101 (and lab)
CSP 10something (computers and society, i know...but i had to fill a gen ed requirement)
ENG 235 American Literature
COM10something, intro to speech and communications.
All fun things. No ensembles, no music classes right now. Because I had to change schools so quickly, I can't be in their music program until next year. However, I may still pick up my entry level music classes and an ensemble next semester, until then, studying by myself is the only option I have.
We went to IHOP and played mau. I drank real coffee for the first time in my life, with a lot of cream and sugar mind you. The waiter made us triple strength coffee (three bags of coffee grounds in the pot). That shit really gets you. I believe that is the reason why I am not tired at this time.
Driving home from IHOP I witness the most beautiful sunrise, so, I took out my writing journal and compiled a few thoughts I will share with you here.
July 22 2006 6:30a
The dew soaks thorugh my clothing as I sit here, witness to this event. So few times have I been so aware of this constant change of my home. Something so beautiful would be more cherished if it were rare. We prize the true diamond because it is rare, but would we not just as easily be careless with it if it were common to us? Would we not use it as an adornment fabricated to eventually break to keep the economy going. The slogan would not be "Diamonds are Forever," rather they would be quite common place and often disposed of, losing all significance of importance. Beauty is only acclaimed in the rarest of forms. A perfect sunflower is often only left for the birds to admire.
This magnificent event before me may be prized by another people, another culture, because of its rarity, such as in the north. The sun sets for half the year, and is risen for half the year. Do you think they are not joyous after six months of darkness when the sun rises, illuminating their world? It seems beauty and admiration are only warrented for the rare, but never the equally admirable but common.
-michelle
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m&ms487
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2006 18 July :: 10.27pm
why do i keep on missing everything?
why do i ruin everything?
why?
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2006 30 June :: 2.00am
:: Music: snow patrol
sex lies, and video tapes stream.
Tired of dreaming.
But too tired to wake.
its getting real fucking old...
4 found the love |
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m&ms487
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2006 29 June :: 7.21pm
:: Mood: embarrassed
Going over to my grandparent's house always makes me feel guilty. I feel guilty because I never go and see them, and when I do I realize I should have instead of doing everything else I have been doing lately. I still encounter that 'perfection' thing, but I'm trying not to let that get to me. You know, the whole 'I have to be just like they want me to be, or else they won't want me anymore'.
My biggest fear in life is of confrontation that ends in abandonment.
I know they are all going to die pretty soon, and I'm going away, away to college. I'm going to miss the little they have left. At least, I always feel that way.
To all those who don't know, the admissions office at GVSU doesn't like me and wouldn't take me (even though i was accepted into their music program, their school, and I graduated sixth in my class with a fucking 3.96 gpa), so now I am going to CMU. My orientation day is July 21.
I'm not a little child anymore, but I still feel like I need to behave like one sometimes...ask permission, don't talk to strangers, eat my vegetables, and the like.
3 found the love |
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m&ms487
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2006 27 June :: 10.51am
:: Mood: awake
I dream of...
glow worms
rockstars
candy buttons
fancy cars
melodies
vibrant skies
starry nights
pecan pies
total darkness
extreme light
frigid waters
my lonely fight
sorrowful mothers
holding hands
perfect kisses
marching bands
moving music
shadows of night
green tall grass
famine and blight
beautiful sorrow
dramatic scenes
exquisite jewels
Alien Beings
Perfect ends
being close
never ending
Him the most
michelle
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m&ms487
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2006 26 June :: 7.43pm
I've missed so many things already.
I don't have time for this, I don't have time, don't have time, don't have time.
There are children laughing outside. Is it wrong to want to shoot them?
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