MIZPRETTYINPINK
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2003 10 December :: 6.35pm
:: Mood: Confused
:: Music: No Doubt
Crazy? or Brilliance?
sometimes i say... odd... things. just ask annalisse! and i dont know if its everyone else just living the norm and never thinking outside of their 2 inch box... or me being over-imaginative. and if it is me, i dont think im crazy... i dont think its brilliance... i dont know what to think of it. its like a breakthrough when i say something because i think so hard to try to put my theories into words and then annalisse just bites my head off! lol "your so wierd lauren i swear to god!" and you know what? i think its wierd too, i think i have like some wierd thing in my head that i dunno no one else has i guess. and people call me crazy but like i dunno i dont wanna sound conceided but i think i have like some sort of special mental thing! like its wierd and it makes me different, but not too different, just wierd! but i have a address another issue thats been buggin me because i was staring at these kind of people at school today and it made me sick! ok when i say something... i dont say it to get attention because honestly i dont need 10 people to pitty me when i feel lost and alone, i say it because it helps me like explain more about myself and it helps me understand better too when i write it. and people email me "oh lauren i love you!" well they just like hunt for sad people and try to make them feel better like when people are like lauren i love you i never hear from them unless i write some big long sad thing! and im like " no... no you dont love me! you must just like saying that... you say it to everyone... how do i know you're sincere? you dont love me not one bit!" lol but yeah and i have to say something but i cant put it into words right now so maybe later because my french friend isonline and i wanna talk to him. oh yeah one more thing
IM NOT MOVING TO FRANCE BECAUSE OF JOHNNY DEPP! SO SHUT UP AND QUIT SAYING IT! YOU DONT KNOW WHY AND ILL NEVER TELL YOU SO HA! MAYBE IM MOVING TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYTHING AND I DONT THINK CALI IS FAR ENOUGH ANYMORE! ILL TRY BUT I KNOW IT WONT WORK! AND IF I CANT AFFORD TO MOVE THERE THEN IM DEFINATLY MOVING TO CALI! AND I WANT YOU TO STOP THINKING ALL OF MY DECISIONS ARE BASED AROUND JOHNNY DEPP AND GR IM LEAVING! lol sorry i had to say it even tho it was lameO! lol ttyl
I LOVE JOHNNY DEPP! ~lOrLoR aNdY
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MIZPRETTYINPINK
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2003 10 December :: 6.35pm
:: Mood: Confused
:: Music: No Doubt
Crazy? or Brilliance?
sometimes i say... odd... things. just ask annalisse! and i dont know if its everyone else just living the norm and never thinking outside of their 2 inch box... or me being over-imaginative. and if it is me, i dont think im crazy... i dont think its brilliance... i dont know what to think of it. its like a breakthrough when i say something because i think so hard to try to put my theories into words and then annalisse just bites my head off! lol "your so wierd lauren i swear to god!" and you know what? i think its wierd too, i think i have like some wierd thing in my head that i dunno no one else has i guess. and people call me crazy but like i dunno i dont wanna sound conceided but i think i have like some sort of special mental thing! like its wierd and it makes me different, but not too different, just wierd! but i have a address another issue thats been buggin me because i was staring at these kind of people at school today and it made me sick! ok when i say something... i dont say it to get attention because honestly i dont need 10 people to pitty me when i feel lost and alone, i say it because it helps me like explain more about myself and it helps me understand better too when i write it. and people email me "oh lauren i love you!" well they just like hunt for sad people and try to make them feel better like when people are like lauren i love you i never hear from them unless i write some big long sad thing! and im like " no... no you dont love me! you must just like saying that... you say it to everyone... how do i know you're sincere? you dont love me not one bit!" lol but yeah and i have to say something but i cant put it into words right now so maybe later because my french friend isonline and i wanna talk to him. oh yeah one more thing
IM NOT MOVING TO FRANCE BECAUSE OF JOHNNY DEPP! SO SHUT UP AND QUIT SAYING IT! YOU DONT KNOW WHY AND ILL NEVER TELL YOU SO HA! MAYBE IM MOVING TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYTHING AND I DONT THINK CALI IS FAR ENOUGH ANYMORE! ILL TRY BUT I KNOW IT WONT WORK! AND IF I CANT AFFORD TO MOVE THERE THEN IM DEFINATLY MOVING TO CALI! AND I WANT YOU TO STOP THINKING ALL OF MY DECISIONS ARE BASED AROUND JOHNNY DEPP AND GR IM LEAVING! lol sorry i had to say it even tho it was lameO! lol ttyl
I LOVE JOHNNY DEPP! ~lOrLoR aNdY
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MIZPRETTYINPINK
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2003 3 December :: 6.10pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: No Doubt the 1992-2003 singles CD
Just a Girl
Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed and it's no suprise
don't you think i know exactly where i stand?
This world is forcing me to hold your hand
'cause i'm just a girl, little ol' me
Don't let me out of your sight
i'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights
Oh... i've had it up to here
The moment that i step outside
So many reasons for me to run and hide
I can't do the little things i hold so dear
'Cause its all those little things that i fear
'Cause i'm just a girl, i'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive, late at night
i'm just a girl, guess i'm some kinda freak
'Cause they all sit and stare at me with their eyes
i'm just a girl, take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype
Oh... i've had it up to here
Oh... do i make myself clear?
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world
That's all that you'll let me be!
I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb makes me worry some
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What i've succumbed to is making me numb
I'm just a girl, my apologies
What i've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-Dum, there's no comparison
Oh... I've had it up to...
Oh... I've had it up to...
Oh... I've had it up to here
_No Doubt, Just a girl (from the album Tragic Kingdom [1995])
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MIZPRETTYINPINK
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2003 30 November :: 7.41pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: L is for the way you LOOK at me, O is for the only one i see, V is very very EXTRODINARY ...
people magazine, not just any people magazine but . . . !
I GOT THE PEOPLE MAGAZINE WITH JOHNNY ON IT OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woo sry just had to tell you and im very happy but it didnt tell me anything i dont already know but its nice to look at the pictures! aw dude im so happy so yeah lol but i have to go o yeah! and due ill tell you about the hotel later it was so fun lol annalisse, love lauren andy lorlor
i love j o h n n y d e p p
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SnOwFlAkEa4
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2003 29 November :: 12.00am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: So gone.. Monica, i guess thats the song that best describes how im feeling?
today was like one of the worst days i could ever have. i woke up and i tripped over something and fell.. but then my mom was all yelling bc the dog got out so i ran out in 40 degree weather with shorts and a spaghettis strap- no shoes chasing him through every yard and all around the neighborhood after i caught him i went inside and yeah.. my mom and i went out and thats where it kind of started to get really bad, but ill skip the whole thing and put it to the point that marcus broke up with me... than my day consisted of crying my eyes out.. and my annoying mom coming in every 3 seconds "are you sure your ok" "can i help" blah blah... i told her it didnt bother me and i would live just so she would leave me alone but i was crushed and i swear to god i felt my heart break i noticed it when i was on the phone with sammy that was yesterday and today im probably going to mope around and be all depressed yeah, im not afraid to say it, but i still love him alot and i really wish we didnt break up. its going to take a long long long time to get over him and it wont be easy... im just in the process of thinking what i did wrong
10.24-11.29
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MIZPRETTYINPINK
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2003 26 November :: 11.47am
:: Mood: "oh yeah!" _Cat in the Hat
:: Music: dog barking
ostrich day
hey guyserz! yup im so happy now im goin to the beach cuz friday im meetin my cousins from milwalkee theredown seein tina's parents for ostrich day! and then annalisse is sleepin over sturday and suday we're gunna put up happy chrismas decorations, and yeah so im staying at a hotel on the beach um thur., fri, sat, and thats why im writing because i wont be for a while, i havent written since the last entries for a while cuz i been i tad bit tramatized but im bak "OH YEAH!" _c i t h but well happy ostrich day everybody! i luv you
and i love johnny depp ha! OH YEAH!
lorlor aka andy
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2003 22 November :: 11.454353pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: every linkin park song made
hii
well.. today was such a crappy day, my knee is compleatly fucked up and i got into a fight with my good friend.... we made up like not too long ago but still... it happened.. im having bad flashbacks and i looked through alot of photo albums and saw things i really didnt want to see, people, places, objects... blankness idk i love marcus so much and yeah... only my close friends are gonig to know what else there is to it.. im not mad at all im just... confused?? idk even know how i feel.... moving on i think im getting depression again because i am going really down, and im doing.. thinking you all know what kind of thinking it is and its just so tempting when i go into the kidchen or look in one of my draws, but im staying strong scary thing is.. no ones home right now its just me but im also thinking remember? so thats occuping me yep im just trying to go through all the stuff thats happening its wierd putting all this in a journal when who knows who is reading this but before someone asks me "whats up" they will get an idea. im gonig to spend the rest of my night in my room.. thinking more yep, the only thing i do is think so that means there is something in my head right?? im not compleatly stupid lol ok night dont get bad dreams because of me
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MIZPRETTYINPINK
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2003 19 November :: 5.10pm
:: Mood: very happy omgomgomg hhhhaaaaapppppppppyyyyyyyy!
:: Music: go go go johnny its ur birday
sexxiest man alive
JOHNNY WON SEXIEST MAN ALIVE! OMG JOHNNY WON SEXIEST MAN ALIVE! AHHHHH IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM! HE SO DESERVES IT AND FINALLY BEING RECOGNIZED! after all this time he so deserves all the attention he gets because hes such a good actor n hes my idol and hes just ahh! well im so happy i cant write so see you later alligator!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol jj
~LoRlOr~ i love johnny depp
johnny depp is so sexxy and smart!
i luv you too
blah
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2003 16 November :: 5.65555665pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: hey ya.. outkast. marcus im going to kill you lol
ahhh again last night was the best.. ill start with the day, i had to model at a fashon show and i knew alot of the girls bc i went to imta with them so that was cool. then me and my mom went on a shopping spree and than i went back to marcus's house marcus's brother was there playing a game while marcus and i were in his moms room, laying on her bed... hehe okk yea than after that we all went to a hockey game and just hung out.. hey Jessica- i saw Scott Maul last night oooooh hehe... just for the record my dads mean to me!! ok he dropped me off at marcus's house for like 10 mins while he went to the store so he came back and gave me something--- and it was a lollypop, WITH THE CAT IN THE HAT ON IT!! so, i screamed and threw it at marcus... so they both laughed at me isnt that nice?hehe oh well yeah i got to see marcus alot that was the best!! and i went home and cleaned my room again than i went to bed
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2003 14 November :: 12.00am
:: Mood: my nose is itchy.. is that a mood?
:: Music: headstrong by trapt HOLY GOD i looooove that song lol
ahhhh tonight was THE BEST night ever i said night by the way not day. my day sucked becasue i spent ALL DAY with my parents and at home, i didnt have school but i wish i did bc my day would have been 10 times better... but the night was perfect.. i was at marcus's house practically all night and it was PERFECT its really hard to describe and say what we did so ill leave it at that.. marcus i love you!! lolol than i got home and talked on the phone to kelly for the rest of the night than i went to bed... yeah... it works
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2003 13 November :: 4.12pm
You wonderful, wonderful, magnificent person. Many
people will hear of your sad departure and
attend your beautiful and grand funeral. It
will be a huge event for everyone. No one would
ever forget you because of your kind, caring,
and loving ways toward people and probably many
other living things. Don't get rid of this
awesome characteristic of yours. It will most
likely pay off for you. It will make a
difference for many, especially you.
What Type of Funeral Will You Have? Will You Be Missed Once You're Gone?
brought to you by Quizilla
You wonderful, wonderful, magnificent person. Many people will hear of your sad departure and attend your beautiful and grand funeral. It will be a huge event for everyone. No one would ever forget you because of your kind, caring, and loving ways toward people and probably many other living things. Don't get rid of this awesome characteristic of yours. It will most likely pay off for you. It will make a difference for many, especially you.
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2003 13 November :: 4.03pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: kelly is threatening her comp. on the phone
i took tests.. and thats it lol i went to school and got good drades in bible (yay)
Which Piercing are you?
What Do You Wear to Bed?
Brought to you by Faytrial
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MIZPRETTYINPINK
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2003 13 November :: 4.01pm
:: Mood: confused
WARNING!!!
the next journal entry may alter your beliefs and its very long so if your not going to read the hole thing dont start to. its depressing so if your in a good mood wait til later.
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MIZPRETTYINPINK
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2003 13 November :: 3.33pm
i think peopLe are starting to believe i'm some kind of game or something: a joke maybe? i am a real person [belive it or not]. i do have feelings. i do get hurt. at school maybe i seem more happy than i am. because i want people to portray me as a nice, funny, good friend.
Mr. Conley's "I message"~ When you toy with me, i feel alone and hurt and ugly and stupid because i cared about you [belive it or not] and you shot me down.
rather i cared about you as a friend or not, it makes no difference. im not going to kill myself so chill. life is so screwed up and when you tell people that they just nod in agreement. but you dont think they understand even if they probably do. some people's life is so perfect [no names] and she has never felt unloved, or that she wanted to kill herself. i think its ironic because it does seem i have it better than her and i do not [obviously]. life can just seem to DUMP EVERYTHING on you sometimes and im just waiting for the straw that breaks the camels back. even the littlest thing upset me lately and i get very hurt. every word that is negative in any way about me i hate it it kills me to hear it. i don't know why im so down lately. i guess i just feel like god [if there is a god] cant hear me or doesnt care. if there wa a god, why did he let chelsea kill herself?! WAS HE TOO BUSY HELPING SOMEONE WIN THE LOTTERY!?!?!?!? uuuuuuuuudhhhh! why does he let children die of malnutrition everyday starving? its hard because i did believe in god and i want to so bad. but sometimes i don't think his head is screwed on just right. because anything i believe in goes away! why would god do that if god is so great why doesnt he help us?!?! i hurt so bad and to think theres some who hurt worse! and then some who don't hurt at all and still complain taking EVERYTHING for granted! the hole bible must be lies! the hole damn thing and now i have NOTHING to belive in. everyone needs faith to pull them trough and mine is GONE! im lugging along on empty ladies n gents and im still going no matter how it hurts. because somehow i keep thinking things will look up. we'll move back to wisconsin and our hole family will reunite and... and thats it life is perfect again. and i get out of this state of denial. to me faith is such a pretty, flowing, calming, hopeful word. but i can't use it. i can only hear it in my favoprite song and man he sings it so good! my heart is beating really fast right now because i have never told anyone how i feel about this. is there heaven and hell? i don't think anyone really knows anything i just think somehow all of the facts in the hole world about any subject at all were made up and weaved into this web of lies and "well i think this is right it sounds right to me" i wanna know the truth sso i have something to lean on, something to wish and hope on. i cant pray anymore it feels wrong! i cant say "thanks god you really helped me through this one" even though i TRULEY want to so bad because im not sure who im talking to. am i talking to this man who cant help anyone really in need. or am i just talking to myself. having faith in something thats not there. i have so much more to say but im about to cry and i cant write anymore my back hurts from sulking in this chair and i need sleep. sorry guys ttyl
lorlor ~i do love johnny depp~
laugh all you want i know you think its funny dont you?
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2003 10 November :: 6.02pm
Which Piercing are you?
omg guys annalisse took this test and she was a nipple piercing! lol it was so funny shes like aw man how come i got the NIPPLE! i want the navel! it was soooo funny!
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